


Making Friends With Shadows On My Wall

by Gingerkid2010



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 92,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingerkid2010/pseuds/Gingerkid2010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine Anderson goes back to visit his ex after nine years only to find him in a mental institution with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Can Blaine help Kurt through this? Or will he lose himself in the process? <br/>Warnings: Violence, Self harm, mentions of non-con, suicide, character death, mentions of depression and everything that entails with DID.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Patient File

Kurt E. Hummel  
Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)   
Shows symptoms of self harm, and violence toward others when exposed to stimuli. 

SYMPTOMS:

Mood swings  
-Suicidal tendencies  
-Sleep disorders (insomnia)  
-Compulsions and rituals  
-Psychotic-like symptoms (including auditory and visual hallucinations)

Stimuli: Homophobic slurs, Lilies, and some hallucinations.

Two alternate personalities along with host. 

\----

A pair of shoes clicked along the linoleum tile of the hospital as a man of twenty-eight made his way to the front desk. He looked at the kind looking woman and told her the name of who he was here to see. She smiled politely and asked him to follow her. The man smiled, nodding as he did just that, walking down the hall, through a pair of double doors and into an office. 

A doctor sat at the desk, his glasses perched on top of his head as he looked up at the man.   
"May I help you?.." The doctor asked.  
"I'm Blaine Anderson..I was told to come here. I've come to visit Kurt?..Kurt Hummel.." Blaine said timidly, taking a seat in front of the polished mahogany desk. He looked over the cluttered table. It was covered in pictures, knick knacks, and file folders. The doctor introduced himself as Doctor Hanson and smiled at Blaine. 

"Do you mind me asking your relation to Mr. Hummel?.." Dr. Hanson asked. 

"Oh..Well..I'm an old friend of his.." Blaine said quietly.

(flashback)

"Blaine!" Kurt giggled loudly, holding his arms out to shield the water Blaine was splashing at him. 

"You already know how to make this stop!" Blaine laughed, mercilessly splashing him. 

"Fine! Fine!" Kurt giggled, making his way across the pool and pressing his lips to Blaine's. The shorter boy hummed, wrapping his arms around Kurt's slim waist. 

"Our first summer..Living together.." Kurt whispered.   
"I can't believe it.." 

"Neither can I.." Blaine grinned, kissing Kurt again. "Who says nineteen is too young?.." 

"My father.." Kurt giggled, leaning against the wall of the pool at their apartment complex. 

"Well, I'm pretty sure your father knows how much I love you.." 

"I love you too.." Kurt smiled, his eyes as blue as the water they swam in.  
(End flashback)

"Well he actually hasn't gotten any visitors since he was checked in.." Dr. Hanson said. 

"At all?.." Blaine asked quietly. "What about his father?" 

"His father passed shortly before he checked in.." The doctor sighed, seeming genuinely hurt at this. Blaine shook his head, looking down. This all seemed so surreal...Burt was gone, and here he was, visiting Kurt in a mental hospital..  
"May I see him?..If that's at all possible?.." Blaine asked, pulling on his fingers nervously. He hadn't seen Kurt in years..Would he remember him? Blaine wondered how different he would be now..If he would be one of his alters when he saw him..All Blaine knew about Dissociative Identity Disorder was what he read on the internet over the weekend. He had no idea who Kurt was anymore..If he was still the same person..

"Of course..He's actually had a very good day today.." Dr. Hanson smiled.   
Blaine nodded. He was a combination of happy, scared, and nervous as they made their way down the pristine white halls of the hospital. They got to a room with a white door that had a simple white window in it, allowing Blaine to see inside.   
It was all white, as was expected. He saw a bed, pushed against the wall. Scraps of paper, that appeared to be from magazines, were pasted to the wall above the bed. Across from that was a small television on the opposite wall, bolted to it and out of reach. Other than that, the room was quite empty. There was a nicely sized window on the wall next to the bed, and on the bed was a sleeping form, clad in white scrubs. 

The doctor knocked on the door and the form did not move, his face to the wall. He opened the door and closed it behind him, Blaine walking in as well. "Kurt..We have a visitor here for you.." Dr. Hanson said. 

No movement. 

"Kurt?.." 

Completely still. 

Blaine sighed. "Kurt..It's me, Blaine.." 

Kurt's shoulders stiffened before he slowly turned his head. "Blaine.." he said. His voice still as smooth as silk. His tone sounded curious, as if repeating an odd word one has never heard before. "Blaine.." He said again, turning to look at him. 

Blaine gasped as their eyes met. Kurt was thin, his cheeks more hollow, and containing less color than Blaine remembered. His hair was wild, but seemed to suit him, and eyes were the same shining blue, but with more of a spark to them. They contained the air of something that made Blaine feel like he never wanted to see some of the things they had.  
"Blaine.." He said again. 

"Yes..Blaine..Blaine Anderson.." Blaine said softly. 

"I know you..I remember you.." Kurt said sitting up, and tilting his head to the side curiously. 

"He's an old friend of yours.." Doctor Hanson said as Kurt tapped his fingers on his cheek, staring at Blaine with wide eyes.   
"I know you.." He repeated, standing. Blaine couldn't help but notice that he still had the amazing poise and posture he was known for. 

Kurt continued tapping his blunt nails on his cheek as he studied Blaine's face. 

"It's good to see you Kurt.." Blaine said, smiling. 

"I forgot.." Kurt whispered.   
"What?" Blaine asked.  
"I don't know who you are..Who are you?..Are you my new nurse?" Kurt asked. 

"He has memory lapses.." The doctor said softly. "He seems to be alright. Would you like me to leave you alone?" Dr. Hanson asked. 

"Please.." Blaine said as Kurt sat back on the bed, folding his sheet carefully. The doctor told him a nurse would be right outside and walked out. Blaine smiled at Kurt, who was unfolding the sheet and doing it again.   
"Mind if I sit?.." Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head and Blaine sat next to him. "Are you sure you don't remember me?.." Blaine asked quietly. Kurt shook his head again, tapping his fingers on the perfectly folded sheet. 

"I like your pictures.." Blaine said quietly. 

"Thank you." Kurt said, his head quickly jerking up to look at Blaine before he turned to the wall. "I got them from magazines. They're beautiful." 

"They are.." Blaine agreed, looking over the pictures. Fashion models, shoes, purses. Even a few random ads for food, or medication. 

Kurt stood, reaching under his pillow and pulling out a faded photo. "This is my boyfriend." 

"Really?.." Blaine asked, looking over at the picture. It was of he and Kurt, dressed for prom. 

"He's gone." Kurt said simply, placing the picture on the floor and frowning at it, seemingly unhappy with it's position before scooting it over less than a centimeter and smiling. 

"Who are you?.." Kurt asked again. 

"I'm Blaine.." Blaine said softly. 

Kurt's face dropped. "You're not Blaine. Blaine is dead..Blaine is dead.." Kurt whispered, his breathing becoming frantic. "They told me you were dead.." He reached up, pulling on his ears roughly and backing away from Blaine. "H-He did it..He said I did it..I did it.." Kurt panted, looking down and squeezing his eyes closed. 

"Kurt..I'm not dead..You didn't do anything.." Blaine said, growing concerned as Kurt turned to face the wall, dragging his fingers down the white paint.   
"He said it..He said I did it.." Kurt gasped, clawing at the wall as if he was trying to dig his way out. 

"Who Kurt?.." Blaine asked grabbing Kurt's wrist to try and calm him.   
Kurt paused before spinning around and ripping his wrist from Blaine's hand.   
"Don't you dare touch me you filthy little pédé!" Kurt growled, his voice had changed. He now spoke with a French accent, his voice low and rough, and his eyes were so much darker than they were only moments ago. 

This wasn't Kurt. 

Even his posture was more slouched, his face and body language were completely changed.   
"Who do you think you are?!" the voice raged. 

"Who are you?.." Blaine asked. 

"I am not your pitiful little girl that was 'ere before..I am Claude Damion.." He said, staring at Blaine before turning to the door. "Que tu es emmerdant..Nurse!" Claude yelled. "Please come get this pédé away from me before I kill him myself!" He growled, banging on the little window. 

The nurse instructed Claude to back away from the door and opened it slightly before Blaine started to walk out, shooting one last look at "Claude" before walking out of the door. 

"Tante de merde!" Claude yelled, spitting at the glass. 

Blaine stared through the glass at the man who wasn't the Kurt he knew. His eyes were burning with hate as he stared at Blaine. He had to back away, unable to look at what   
was behind the window. "How long until he goes back..To..Um..Normal?.." Blaine asked, shaking slightly at the experience. 

"It won't be until he calms down..It could be a couple of hours.." She sighed as Blaine heard some bangs coming from the room, making him jump. The nurse sighed. "I think you should go sir.." She said, ushering him away before he looked back seeing Claude banging on the door, screaming French obscenities.

The tears filled Blaine's eyes quickly as he was ushered away from the scene. He couldn't believe what was happening..What had happened to Kurt to make him this way? Blaine replayed their last few days together. What could've happened to make Kurt this way? It killed Blaine to see his ex like that. He drove home and his mind was racing with a million questions. How could he have missed something that would do this to a person? Why hadn't Kurt come to him? He wanted to go see Kurt again tomorrow and get some questions answered. But for now, he needed to be alone. Seeing Kurt today, brought back all those feelings, making Blaine realize he had never really gotten over Kurt. He still loved the man, even in his dazed, forgetful state..He was still Kurt.. When he got home he curled up in the bed and tried not to cry. He closed his eyes and saw Kurt talking about how he had killed him. Who was Kurt talking about? Had the voices in his head convinced Kurt that He was dead? That was understandable after how long they were apart. But why would they tell Kurt that he did it..? He knew one thing was for sure, he wasn't getting any sleep tonight. That didn't stop him from trying. But every time he closed his eyes, horrific images of Kurt flew through his mind. He got up to get a glass of water, a cold sweat on his forehead. Blaine downed the glass and refilled it. He chugged the second glass down before sitting down at the table and allowing the tears to come Blaine's entire frame shook as he sobbed. All he wanted was to hold Kurt close and tell him he'd fix everything. But he couldn't..He left him alone for years when he was sick and he wouldn't never forgive himself for that. He hadn't known. But he should've. Blaine let out a strangled scream of frustration at himself. He picked up the glass and threw it at the wall, groaning loudly as it shattered. He looked at the pieces of sharp glass. How easy would it be to end this pain? Would it be best for Kurt? For Blaine to disappear? No. He couldn't think like this. Maybe he hadn't been here in a long time. But he was now. And he had to be there for his love. He didn't understand why it hurt this much so quickly. He wished everything was back to the way it was. When they were young and in love. No one could touch what they had. Things were simple back then. He got up and carefully swept up the glass before going back to the bedroom. Blaine curled himself around the flat pillow that he had taken from their apartment when he left. The smell of Kurt was gone. But the memories were still there. Eventually he got a couple hours of sleep, but they were restless.

When he woke up, he felt like the walking dead. But he wanted to spend the day with Kurt and get him to recognize him. Maybe he'd bring pictures or the little stuffed animal Kurt had won him on their first date. He grabbed the things and put them into a duffel bag. Blaine skipped breakfast, only stopping for coffee and headed to the institution. The nurse recognized him and checked his bag before bringing him back to Kurt's room. They walked in and saw Kurt laying down just as he had yesterday. "Kurt..?"

Kurt was quiet, silent and unmoving as Blaine tried to get his attention.

"It's me.. Blaine.."

He opened his eyes, turning over in his bed before sitting up quickly, a huge smile plastered to his face. "Blaine!"

Blaine couldn't help but smile back. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"I missed you so much.." Kurt gasped, running to Blaine and hugging him tightly.

Blaine hugged him back. "I missed you too, Kurt.."

Kurt turned his head, kissing Blaine deeply. Blaine stood there, frozen before melting against Kurt. Kurt ran a hand through Blaine's hair, moaning softly. Blaine gasped as he wrapped his arms around Kurt's tiny waist. Kurt pulled away, cupping Blaine's cheeks in his hands and smiling.

"I've missed that.. Missed you.."

Kurt giggled lightly. "How was work?.."

Blaine's eyebrows knitted together. "Umm.. Work is fine.."

 

"I tried to get dinner done before you came home, but I was really busy.." Kurt sighed.

Blaine bit his lip, deciding it was best to go along with whoever this was. "It's okay. I understand.."

Kurt turned away before freezing, his eyes going blank.

"Kurt..?"

Kurt didn't move except to turn to Blaine, the dull gray eyes glazed over.

Blaine turned to the nurse before looking at Kurt. "What's wrong?"

Kurt blinked a couple of times before his eyes turned a dark blue. "Who are you?.."

"I..I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson.."

"Are you my new nurse?.." Kurt asked, tilting his head to the side.

Blaine shook his head as he held back tears. "I brought you something."

Kurt smiled, looking up at Blaine warmly. The shorter pulled out the stuffed animal and handed it to Kurt. Kurt's grin widened and he sat on the floor, crossing his legs and tapping on the plastic eye of the bear.

"Do you like it?"

"It's cute.." Kurt said absently.

Blaine nodded. "Do you want me to go..?"

"No, you make him go away. He's quieter when you're here.." Kurt whispered.

"Who is..?"

Kurt just smiled, patting the spot next to him on the ground and motioning for Blaine to sit. Blaine sat down, wanting to ask more but he didn't want to push Kurt. Kurt leaned against Blaine, sighing softly.

"What are you thinking about?" Blaine asked.

"Too many things.." Kurt shrugged, looking up at Blaine.

"Like what? You can trust me.."

"I don't know really..It's hard to think with them talking..All they do is talk, and fight. I can't sleep." Kurt said, his voice growing quieter with each syllable.

Blaine leaned in a little closer. "What do they talk about?"

"She's always so protective of me..And he's saying he should kill me but she won't let him." Kurt said dismissively, almost as if he were speaking about something as trivial as the weather.

"Who wants to kill you?" Blaine whispered.

"Claude." Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes as he sat the bear straight up.

"Why would he want to hurt you?"

"He doesn't like me. He calls me a faggot and tells me you never loved me." Kurt said simply.

Blaine slowly reached over and took Kurt's hand. "Truth is, I've never stopped loving you."

Kurt's hand gave a harsh twitch at the contact before he relaxed. "My boyfriend wouldn't like that." He said softly. "Blaine..He's my boyfriend."

"I am Blaine.. I'm right here, Kurt.."

"No..Blaine's not here..He left me. Nine years, three months, and two days ago." Kurt said, tapping his fingers on the floor.

"But he's back now.. He's here with you.." Blaine said, trying to hold back his tears. "I'm sorry Kurt.. I didn't know.."

"Didn't know what?.." Kurt asked, looking up at Blaine, his eyebrows raised.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore.. I should've stayed.." Blaine said quietly.

Kurt's breathing started to get heavier and he pulled away from Blaine, his hands flying over his ears.

"What? What are they saying?" Blaine asked, getting on his knees and cupping Kurts cheek. "Stay with me.."

"No..Nononono..." Kurt whined, grabbing handfuls of his hair and pulling hard.

"Don't listen to them. Focus on me.. Blaine.. Your boyfriend.. I'm right here.."

"Shut up!" Kurt screamed grabbing Blaine's shoulders and pulling him close. He buried his face in Blaine's shirt and screamed loudly, digging his blunt nails into his shoulders.

Blaine winced but held Kurt close as his tears streamed down his cheeks. "I love you.. I always have. You're beautiful and perfect. I won't leave you again. I'm here baby.."

Kurt went quiet suddenly, his grip on Blaine's shoulders loosening and his body sagged a bit.

"It's okay, Kurt.. Relax.." Blaine whispered in the taller's ear. Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck, sighing quietly. Blaine kissed the side

"Are you okay?" Blaine whispered.

"Mhmmm..." Kurt hummed.

Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. "I have to go to the restroom baby. I'll be right back.."

Kurt nodded, loosening his arms around Blaine. Blaine slowly stood and made his way out of the room. He walked to the restroom, his heart and mind racing after what happened. He thought about Claude. Where had Kurt come up with him? Why did he want to kill Kurt? Blaine splashed a bit of water on his face and took deep calming breaths. After calming down a bit, he walked back to the room. Kurt sat on the bed, his legs crossed. "Where have you been?"

"I just stepped out for a minute.. I told you.." Blaine said, confused.

"I've been calling you since six..It's three in the morning Blaine, what the hell is going on?" Kurt snapped. Blaine took a deep breath, he remembered this fight. He was working late and forgot to call Kurt.

Blaine sighed. "I was working."

"So you can't answer your fucking phone?" Kurt hissed.

"It was on silent. I lost track of time baby.. I'm sorry.."

Kurt shook his head mumbling under his breath and crossing his arms.

"Please Kurt.. Let's not fight.." Blaine said softly.

Kurt looked over at Blaine with tears in his eyes. "I was so scared.."

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm home now.."

Kurt walked over to Blaine, pulling him close. "I'm so sorry.."

"Shh it's okay. I didn't mean to scare you.."

"I love you so much.." Kurt sighed.

"I love you too.."

Kurt pulled back before leaning in to kiss Blaine softly.

"We okay?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah.." Kurt said sweetly.

"Let's get you in bed.."

Kurt nodded. "Come lay with me.."

Blaine led Kurt to the bed and covered him up before cuddling up to him. Kurt kissed Blaine softly, smiling. Blaine smiled back, wondering how long it would be before one of Kurt's other identities would come out. It was the middle of the day, but Blaine let Kurt sleep. He carefully got out of bed and went to see Kurt's doctor.

Dr. Hanson was sitting in his office when Blaine walked in. "Mr. Anderson..How are you?"

Blaine sighed. "I don't know.."

"Well how is Kurt?..I haven gone to check in on him today.." The doctor said, digging through a file drawer.

"Better than yesterday. Claude hasn't come out. But he.. He said something to me.."

"What did he say?.." Dr. Hanson asked.

"He said that.. They fight in his head. That Claude wants to.. hurt him.." Blaine said carefully.

"He has had some problems with self harm..These voices, or specifically Claude can take over as distinct personalities and make him do things to himself.." The doctor explained.

"How..? He doesn't have anything in his room.."

"Well we try to keep his nails trimmed but he scratches, punches the walls..He can get very violent at times." Dr. Hansen sighed.

"What do you do when it happens?" Blaine asked.

"Restrain him to the bed and sedate him."

"Is there anything to help him..?"

"Well his father asked, before he was checked in, that when the time came that he had to be checked in, we not try to use any medicinal ways of treating his symptoms. He wanted us to use therapy, which has been slightly successful thus far.."

Blaine nodded. "How does it work? With the other personalities?"

"He has two, one being Claude, and the other Elizabeth.." The doctor said.

"His mother..?"

The doctor nodded.

"Do people ever.. I don't want to say get cured.. But do they get better?"

"They do..But usually it's with the help of medicine." Doctor Hanson said.

Blaine sighed. "Do you think Kurt will be able to ever leave..?"

"Well his case is a very severe one, but he has been improving with therapy..Maybe in a few weeks you might even be able to take him out."

Blaine perked up. "Really?"

"If he improves enough." The doctor smiled.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Memory training..Talking to him about his past..Being there with him. He's never had any visitors and he usually just laid in bed all day but since yesterday he's been up and about."

Blaine nodded. "Do you know why he thinks I'm... dead?"

"The voices can tell him anything..His mind is very fragile right now..And he'll believe anything they say to him."

"Alright.. Do you know how he became this way?"

The doctor looked down, sighing softly. "Unfortunately, I can't tell you that because of doctor-patient confidentiality..But..If Kurt chooses to tell you, then he will."

Blaine rested his head in his hands. "I understand."

"How are you taking this?.." Dr. Hanson asked softly.

Blaine bit his lip. "I-I honestly don't know.."

"If you ever need any help..We have therapists you can see." The doctor said.

"Thank you..."

"You're welcome." He smiled. "If you could go get Kurt, it's almost time for lunch."

Blaine thanked the doctor again and went to get Kurt. Kurt was up again, looking through Blaine's bag and going through the pictures. "Do you remember any of them?"

"This is my boyfriend..Who's that with him?.." Kurt asked, pointing to himself.

"That's you when you were in high school.."

Kurt stared at himself curiously before laughing loudly. "I don't look like that.."

"What do you think you look like..?" Blaine asked.

"Not like that.." Kurt chuckled, seemingly amused by the idea.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing..He just looks so..Clean cut.."

"And you're not?"

"I don't look like it." Kurt said, quickly flipping through the pictures.

Blaine sighed. "It's time for lunch."

Kurt nodded, continuing to flip through the pictures.

"Will you come sit with me..?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Okay.." Blaine said quietly as he sat next to Kurt.

The nurse poked her head in. "Kurt..Come on, we have to go eat.."

Blaine looked over at Kurt, not knowing how he'd react.

"No." He said, not looking up.

"Kurt, you know you have to eat." the nurse said.

"No." He said again, calmly.

She sighed heavily. "Do you want me to get your doctor again?"

Kurt looked up, sighing deeply before standing and straightening his clothes.

"Thank you. Now come on sweetie."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand, and led him to the small cafeteria. They got their plates and sat down. Kurt stared at his food distastefully, poking at his corn with his fork.

"You don't like the food here?"

"I don't like food at all.." Kurt mumbled.

"Why not?"

Kurt simply shrugged until his nurse eyes him and he slowly began to eat, frowning distastefully.

"I was talking to Dr. Hanson. He said I might be able to take you out someday.."

Kurt looked up at Blaine, his eyes lighting up a bit.

"Would you like that?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded before grabbing his water and chugging it quickly.

"Do you like when I'm here?"

Kurt set his water down and leaned over, pressing a chaste kiss to Blaine's lips. "Yes." He said before turning back to his food.

Blaine smiled as he ate. "Me too.."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand, smiling to himself.

"What do you do for fun?"

"Sometimes the nurses give me magazines." Kurt said before laughing loudly. "Then I rip out the nice ones and put them on my wall.

"I brought a few new ones if you want to look at them.."

Kurt nodded, laughing again before going silent, eyes trained on the roof.

"What are you thinking?" Blaine asked curiously.

"There's a bird up there." Kurt said quietly, as if trying not to startle it.

Blaine looked up, not seeing anything. "What does it look like?"

"A crow.." Kurt said quietly before his eyes darted around the ceiling.

"What is it doing..?"

"There's six.."

"What are they doing?"

"Watching.."

"Do you know why..?"

Kurt was quiet for a long time before he shook his head, quickly looking down.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing.." Kurt said quietly.

"Okay.." Blaine said just as quietly. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand as he squeezed his eyes closed. Blaine scooted closer. "It's okay. You're safe.."

Kurt relaxed a bit, sighing shakily as he started reciting something under his breath. Blaine tilted his head, trying to hear Kurt.

 

"He's gone..He can't hurt me..He's gone..He can't hurt me.."

"No one will hurt you, Kurt.. I won't let them.."

"He did.."

"Who?"

"Please don't.." Kurt whispered, drawing his knees to his chest.

"Don't what? Kurt, what's wrong?"

"Stop!" Kurt almost-yelled.

"Kurt please.." Blaine whispered. Kurt shook his head, digging his nails into his scalp.

"Nurse!" Blaine called, grabbing Kurt's hands. Kurt tried to pull his hands away from Blaine but couldn't pull away. "No!" He yelled before the nurses hurried over. Blaine let the nurses take over and watched as Kurt was carried out. He buried his face in his hands as he heard the screams of his love fading down the hall. He couldn't take this. Why couldn't he get through to Kurt? Still, it had only been two days..But he could barely stand seeing Kurt like this. Blaine knew he couldn't do this alone. But who could he turn to now?..Especially with this? He guessed he could go see the therapist Dr. Hanson suggested.. But he didn't want to just spill his guts to a stranger..He would wait here for a while, go talk to Kurt a bit more, and try to figure this out. Blaine went to wash his face and found a familiar nurse. "How is he?"

"He calmed down as soon as he got him into the room..May I ask what happened before Kurt panicked?.."

"He kept staring at the ceiling. He said six crows were watching.." Blaine explained. "Then I told him he was safe and he was whispering something about someone being gone and that they couldn't hurt him.."

She nodded, sighing softly. "Well, if you go in to see him Mr. Anderson..Please try to keep him calm.."

"I will.."

"Thank you.."

Blaine sighed as he walked down the hall. The fluorescent lights giving an almost eerie feel. He made it to Kurt's room and saw him laying on the floor, holding the bear. He gave a light knock. "Can I come in?"

"Mhmm.." Kurt hummed.

Blaine walked in slowly and took a seat by Kurt. "How are you feeling?"

Kurt looked up at Blaine, sighing softly. "They're fighting again.."

Blaine took a deep breath. "Can you tune them out?"

"I try but it doesn't work.."

"When you talk, can you hear them?"

"Not as much.."

"Why don't we keep talking then? Or you could try singing," Blaine suggested.

"What song?.." Kurt sighed softly.

"Anything that you like."

Kurt nodded, laying back and staring at the ceiling and humming softly. "I can't remember any songs.." He said after a while.

"Well what if I sing? Do you think you could concentrate on my voice?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded, smiling a bit. Blaine took a deep breath, reaching out for Kurt's hand and starting to sing.   
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?"

Kurt hummed along with Blaine, squeezing his hand. Blaine smiled at Kurt as he continued.   
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I..."

Kurt quietly opened his mouth and sang with Blaine, his voice just as soft and angelic as Blaine remembered. Blaine gasped but quickly recovered. It had been so long since he heard the beautiful voice. He couldn't help the silly grin that spread across his face as they finished the song.  
"Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I...

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you"

Kurt smiled to himself, humming the final bars of the song.

"You're voice is beautiful.." Blaine whispered.

"So is yours..Oh!" Kurt said, sitting up quickly.

"What is it?" Blaine asked. Kurt stood, reaching up to turn on the television and sitting back down on the floor. Blaine turned around and looked up to see what was happening. He looked over and saw that the weather report was on.  
"You like the weather channel?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded, his eyes trained on the screen. "It's like..They can predict the future." he said in an almost child-like way.

Blaine smiled softly. "In a way, they can."

Kurt nodded, cuddling up to Blaine as he watched the screen. Blaine thought as they watched the television. It was then when he realized no matter how tough this got, he could do this. Little moments like this gave him the strength to be there for Kurt. Kurt eventually crawled up into the bed and relaxed a bit before falling asleep again. Blaine leaned down, kissing Kurt's forehead and headed back home. The sound of Kurt's screams still rang in his ears, but not as prominently as the soft sound of his singing. He barely got any sleep that night. But the thought that Kurt might get better got him through.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine had been going to visit Kurt when he wasn't working part time at an Italian restaurant. He came in with a bag of the usual things, pictures, his mp3 player, and a bag of what he discovered was Kurt's favorite candies, smarties.

 

"You didn't come yesterday.." Kurt said, from his spot on the floor as Blaine walked in.

 

"I'm sorry.." Blaine said quietly. "I had to work."

 

"He came again." Kurt sighed. "He tried to kill me.." He said with an air of nonchalance. Blaine bit his lip as he noticed Kurt's bandaged wrists.

 

"What did he do..?"

 

"It'll just make you sad." Kurt said, shrugging.

 

"You can tell me," Blaine said softly. Kurt looked up to where the tv used to be. Now there was only the support that held it. He broke the screen and used the glass to cut my wrists." Kurt said, holding up his hands.

 

Blaine sat down, taking Kurt's hands as he tried to look calm. "Have you ever stopped him?"

 

"Only when you're here..He's quieter.." Kurt said softly.

 

"What if you imagine I'm here? Would that help?"

 

"Maybe." Kurt said, examining Blaine's fingers closely.

 

"You should try. I don't like when he comes out.." Blaine said, watching Kurt.

 

"He doesn't like you either.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Can you tell my why?"

 

Kurt just shrugged. "I guess because you make me happy.."

 

"I wish I could make him go away.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"I have to live with him.." Kurt sighed. "At least that's what my therapist said.." He said before quickly looking up.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Birds again.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Are they watching?"

 

Kurt nodded, swallowing audibly.

 

"Do they come around a lot?"

 

Kurt shook his head, looking down. "O-Only when I think about it.."

 

"Don't think about it sweetie.."

 

Kurt nodded, his eyes wide and wild as the jumble of thoughts raced through his brain. The blue orbs focused on Blaine's bag. "What's that?.."

 

Blaine smiled, pulling it over. "I brought things for you."

 

"What are they?.."

 

"Candy and music.."

 

"Candy?" Kurt grinned, reaching for the bag.

 

"Your favorite," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt leaned over, kissing Blaine softly before grabbing the bag. Blaine smiled, trying to mask his sadness. He wanted so bad to know what happened to Kurt. Kurt unwrapped a roll of the candies, poured them into his hand and ate them all at once. "Good.." Kurt smiled after he swallowed. "You're so cute.."

 

Kurt let out a loud laugh, climbing into Blaine's lap. "No, I'm not."

 

"I think you're beautiful," Blaine said, looking into Kurt's blue eyes.

 

Kurt but his lip, tapping his fingers on Blaine's shoulders. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

 

Blaine blinked a few times, soaking in what Kurt said. "What..?"

 

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Kurt repeated, before waving his hand as if to bat at some imaginary insect.

 

Blaine sighed. "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

 

"Why not?.." Kurt asked, seemingly offended.

 

"Oh no.. Trust me, I want to.. But not here.."

 

Kurt nodded, leaning back until he was laying on the floor, his legs still wrapped around Blaine.

 

"What are you thinking about?" Blaine asked.

 

"You.." Kurt giggled.

 

"What about me..?"

 

"Memories.." Kurt said, scratching the carpet beneath him and arching his back a bit.

 

"Do you remember much?"

 

"No..Just..An apartment..No furniture.." Kurt said, closing his eyes. He grabbed Blaine's hands. A bit tighter than necessary before placing them on his hips. Blaine gasped. It surprised him how Kurt hadn't changed in some ways.   
"Feels good..Wish I could watch the weather.." Kurt growled

 

"What..?" Blaine asked, trying not to think about Kurt.

 

"They took my tv..I can't watch." Kurt sighed, running his hands through his own hair before starting to count silently, rolling his hips up with each number.

 

Blaine's eyes drifted to Kurt's hips. "What are you doing?"

 

Kurt kept his eyes closed, continuing to count as he pulled his hair lightly. The white shirt rode up a bit, revealing the pale skin, marked with a few small scars. Blaine reached out, tracing a scar. "What happened..?"

 

"I did it." Kurt whispered before starting to count again.

 

"Why?"

 

"I wanted to feel.."

 

"Kurt.." Blaine whispered.

 

"Hm?.." Kurt hummed.

 

"That's not good.."

 

"It helps." Kurt said softly.

 

"With what..?"

 

"When I'm sad..It makes it stop..I can feel something else.."

 

"But you're hurting yourself.." Blaine whispered. Kurt simply shrugged, reaching to pull his shirt down. Blaine sighed. He wanted to help but had no idea how.

 

"Let's go walk through the courtyard." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Okay," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt stood, staring up at the support where the tv used to be before tearing off the bandages on his wrists. Blaine bit his lip as he saw the fresh stitches on both wrists along with a few more cuts.

 

"What are you doing..? You need those on," He said quickly, trying not to think about what Kurt had done.

 

"They're bothering me." Kurt said, softly.

 

Blaine sighed. "Come on.."

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine's hand before they had a nurse escort them outside. Kurt looked a bit wary before stepping outside, squinting into the sun.

 

"Do you like it?" Blaine asked.

 

"I haven't come out since.." Kurt didn't finish, taking his shoes off and starting to walk down the cool concrete path.

 

"How do you feel..?"

 

"Weird..I..It's..There's air..A lot.." Kurt smiled before doing a little spin.

 

Blaine grinned as he watched Kurt. He wished he could keep him this happy. Kurt laughed loudly before running over to the grass and sitting. He laid on his back, writhing against the green carpet and inhaling deeply, grinning. Blaine chuckled, going to sit by him. Kurt closed his eyes, and froze for a moment,gripping a handful of grass before sitting up, his hands clutching over his ears. Blaine pulled Kurt close. "I'm here baby.. I'm here.."

 

"Shhh..Shh..It's okay..He can't get you..Momma's here.." Kurt whispered shakily.

 

Blaine held Kurt closer, listening closely.

 

"I won't let him hurt you again..just let me-.." Kurt went silent and completely still before sagging in Blaine's arms.

 

"Kurt.. Baby, are you here..?"

 

Kurt shook his head, not looking up. Blaine stood and picked Kurt up. He wanted to get him inside before anything happened. Kurt looked up at Blaine, his eyes bright and clear. "You're just as kind as he told me.." He smiled, his voice high and soft, sounding very close to that of a woman.

 

"Thank you, Mrs. Hummel. I love your son.." Blaine said as he checked Kurt back in.

 

Elizabeth smiled as Blaine set her down. "Thank you.."

 

"You're welcome.."

 

"Where's Kurt?" She asked as they walked through the halls. Blaine was amazed how different this was. The body language the movement. The way Kurt walked and talked while he was in these altered states was fascinating.

 

"He'll be back soon. He's told me a lot about you.."

 

"Really?.." She smiled. "He's a good boy.."

 

"He is," Blaine said softly. "He's been through so much.."

 

She nodded, looking over at Blaine and grabbing his hand. "Thank you for taking care of him.."

 

"I'm trying.. Can you tell me..? More about Claude?"

 

She looked over at Blaine, her eyes wide. "I-I..I'd really rather have him tell you himself..Kurt, that is.." Elizabeth said,

 

Blaine nodded. "Do you think he will..? I don't want to push him into anything.."

 

"He might..I know he's not all there right now.." She said, tearing up a bit. "But..You being here is helping more than you know.."

 

"I'll keep coming. I promise," Blaine said, giving a shaky breath.

 

She nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand. "Thank you.."

 

"I'll always be here. I won't leave again.."

 

She nodded, hugging Blaine tightly before sagging a bit. "Blaine?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I'm here baby.." Blaine said, wiping his tears before Kurt could see.

 

"Why are we inside?.."

 

"We can go back if you want.."

 

"No, it's okay.." Kurt said as Blaine released him. He looked around for a minute, seemingly in distress before back at Blaine. "Who are you?.."

 

Blaine sighed deeply. "I'm Blaine."

 

Kurt just shook his head before looking down at his injured wrists, scratching lightly at the stitching.

 

"We should get you more bandages. Come on.."

 

"I don't want them.." Kurt protested.

 

"You need them Kurt.."

 

"I don't want them." Kurt said, raising his voice. Blaine turned, looking for a nurse. There was one down the hall but Kurt had already turned the other way. Blaine followed Kurt. "Where are you going?"

 

"Stop." Kurt said, not turning around.

 

"Stop what?"

 

"Stop!" Kurt got out, turning a corner.

 

Blaine continued to follow him. "Kurt, just talk to me."

 

"Leave me alone.." Kurt said. an edge of fear in his voice.

 

"Baby please.." Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind, making the taller cry out. "Stop! Stop, he won't want me! He won't want me!"

 

"Who?" Blaine asked, keeping his arms around the panicking man.

 

"Please..Please let me go..Don't do this.." Kurt whimpered.

 

"Kurt, it's okay.. You're safe with me.."

 

Kurt was sobbing at this point, pressing himself against the wall.

 

"Why are you crying?" Blaine asked softly.

 

"Don't.." Kurt whispered weakly.

 

"Don't what?"

 

Kurt just shook his head, leaning against the wall as he trembled between Blaine and the wall.

 

"Kurt.. Tell me what's wrong.." Blaine pleaded.

 

"He took me.." Kurt got out.."He used me.."

 

"W-Who..?"

 

"I don't remember...I don't..Please..Please.." Kurt whimpered.

 

"Shh.. I'm here.. He's gone.. I'll keep you safe.. I swear.."

 

Kurt turned around, wrapping himself around Blaine.

 

"I love you.. I'm so sorry.." Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear.

 

"Blaine..Blaine..Blaine.." Kurt whispered. "Don't go.."

 

"I'm not, Kurt. I'm right here.." Blaine breathed out, crying with Kurt. Kurt clutched to Blaine's shirt as Blaine picked him up and took him to the room. He laid him in his bed and held Kurt close, trying to soothe him.

 

"What if he comes back?..When you leave?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Who?" Blaine asked. "Claude?"

 

"No.."

 

"Who..?"

 

"I-I can't tell you.."

 

"You can tell me anything, Kurt," Blaine said softly.

 

"He raped me.." Kurt said so quietly Blaine almost didn't hear him.

 

Blaine gasped. "W-Who did?"

 

"Back..W-When we were together..And..Now..When I'm sleeping.."

 

"Oh my god.. I-Is that why..? Why you were so..distant..?"

 

Kurt nodded, his body trembling and his breathing beginning to speed up.

 

Tears sprang to Blaine's eyes. He couldn't believe this. He thought Kurt didn't want him.. Why didn't he see? Blaine pulled Kurt closer. "And I left you.. Oh god.. I'm so sorry Kurt.. I-I should've been there.."

 

Kurt's hands flew over his ears, tears sliding down his cheeks. "They're back..They're watching..Blaine.." He whimpered.

 

"The birds?" Blaine asked, trying to slow his tears.

 

Kurt nodded. "I-It was outside..Th-the birds..They were watching..I..I want to go home.."

 

"As soon as they let you out.. We'll go. We'll go home.. I promise.."

 

Kurt buried his face in Blaine's chest sobbing loudly. "You don't want me..Y-You don't want me anymore..I'm not yours.."

 

"Kurt, I'm here. I love you.. I still love you.. I-I didn't know.. I-I didn't.." Blaine breathed out.

 

Kurt held his arms out, scratching at his wrists. "I don't want to f-feel.." He gasped.

 

Blaine took Kurt's hands. "I-I know.. But please baby.. Don't hurt yourself.."

 

Kurt tried to pull his hands away from Blaine, sobbing violently before giving up, laying back. "Blaine..Please..Please.."

 

"I can't imagine how much it hurts.. But I'm here. I'll help you get through it.. Just please let me help you.. I wont leave.. We can be happy again.."

 

"I don't want to be here..I don't want to listen to them anymore..I don't want this.." Kurt whimpered.

 

"I know.. But they won't let me take you yet. I promise, we'll get you through this. Then you can come home with me.." Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek and looked into his eyes. "This doesn't change how I feel about you. I haven't stopped loving you. Youll always be in here.." he whispered, bringing Kurt's hand to his own heart.

 

Kurt's hand was twitching violently as he clutched to Blaine's shirt. "I d-don't want to be alive..

 

"W-Why?" Blaine asked. "I-I thought I was helping..."

 

"You're the only thing.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I'll come everyday, Kurt.. I won't leave you alone.."

 

Kurt nodded, whimpering softly before pulling Blaine close and kissing him deeply. Blaine kissed Kurt back, running his hands up and down his sides. Kurt moaned softly his hands still twitching as he placed them on either side of Blaine's face. Blaine pulled Kurt as close as he could. He needed him to know how much he was loved. Kurt deepened the kiss. His shaky hands traveling up to Blaine's hair. Blaine moaned softy, relaxing next to Kurt. "I-I want you.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Me too baby.. But what about your mom and Claude..?"

 

Kurt recoiled at the name, nodding and looking down.

 

"I'm sorry.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt just looked up at Blaine before closing his eyes and starting to sing.   
"All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.."

 

Blaine sighed quietly. "I love your voice.."

 

Kurt didn't acknowledge Blaine as he kept singing, bringing his hands up to wring his fingers.   
"Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday  
And I feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen  
Went to school and I was very nervous  
No one knew me, no one knew me  
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson  
Look right through me, look right through me.."

 

Blaine turned, listening as Kurt sang.

 

"And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had.." Kurt sang shakily, pausing and taking a deep breath before continuing.  
"I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles  
It's a very, very mad world ..." He finished quietly.

 

"Do you really feel that way..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"What way?.." Kurt whispered, staring at the ceiling.

 

"About your dreams.. Do you really wish you weren't alive..?"

 

"Only when Blaine's gone." Kurt said softly.

 

"What is it like when he's gone..?"

 

"Quiet..Except for them..They're always talking.." Kurt said, making a few clicking noises with his tongue. And at night..He comes..And takes me.."

 

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

 

"The man..I call for Blaine but he never comes..The man..He does what the other did..Hurts me.." Kurt said.

 

"Does he come in your dreams?"

 

"After I go to bed. After everyone. I scream..No one comes." Kurt whispered.

 

"I wish I could be here.." Blaine said quietly. He wished he could take Kurt's nightmares away.

 

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

 

"Not at all," Blaine said seriously.

 

Kurt nodded, staring at Blaine. "Can we get married?.."

 

Blaine took Kurt's hands in his. "When you get out, we'll save up and have the best wedding ever."

 

Kurt smiled wide. "Good."

 

"I love you so much, Kurt.."

 

"I missed those words. Missed them.." Kurt breathed out.

 

"Me too.." Blaine whispered, wanting to hear Kurt say it back.

 

"Can we watch the weather?.." Kurt asked, tapping his finger on Blaine's pocket, where his phone was contained.

 

Blaine sighed as he pulled his phone out. "Sure."

 

Kurt smiled. "You're perfect."

 

"Thanks.."

 

Kurt kissed Blaine softly before the shorter pulled up some videos on the weather channel app, letting Kurt watch them and smile as he did so. Blaine laid back, watching Kurt. He did seem to be getting a little better. Kurt eventually fell asleep, curled up to Blaine's side, mewling peacefully. Blaine kissed his forehead. He thought about everything. How did he not know something had been wrong with Kurt? He closed his eyes, thinking back to around the time Kurt got distant.

 

*Flashback*  
Kurt came home from work, locking the door behind him and leaning back against it.

 

Blaine had been in bed reading. He heard the door and got up, going to greet his boyfriend. "Hey beautiful.."

 

"Hey.." Kurt said quietly, smoothing down his hair and clothes before walking over to kiss Blaine's cheek quickly.

 

"How was work?"

 

"Good..Sorry I'm late..I-I stopped for coffee..." Kurt whispered.

 

"It's okay baby. Are you hungry? I can warm up your plate." Blaine said softly.

 

"No..I'm gonna go..Shower." Kurt said quietly, walking past Blaine quickly and going back to the room.

 

Blaine stared at their bedroom door. What was going on?

 

The next week was the same, one night they were in bed, kissing softly when Blaine slid his hand up Kurt's thigh.   
"B-Blaine.." Kurt whispered shakily.

 

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked.

 

"N-Nothing..It's fine.." Kurt said quietly. Trying to relax as Blaine continued touching him.

 

He could feel Kurt's body go rigid. "Y-You don't want me..?" Blaine asked in barely a whisper.

 

"N-No..I do want you..I want you Blaine.." Kurt said, wrapping himself around Blaine. "I want you so bad.."

 

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes. "Are you sure..?"

 

"Yeah.." Kurt said, nodding lightly.

 

Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's, pulling him close.

 

Kurt kissed Blaine back, but it was different. Kurt seemed somewhere else. They undressed, and after Blaine got himself ready, he positioned himself at Kurt's entrance. Kurt gasped sharply, his eyebrows kneading together as his body went stiff.

 

"Kurt.. What's wrong..?" Blaine asked again.

 

"I can't.." Kurt whispered, closing his legs quickly.

 

Blaine bit his lip. He was positive it was something he had done. Why didn't Kurt want him? He got up and got dressed. "I'll be back later."

 

"W-Where are you going?.." Kurt asked.

 

"I don't know. I need to be alone.." Blaine said, refusing to look up.

 

"I'm sorry..It's not you Blaine.." Kurt said desperately.

 

"What is it, then?"

 

Kurt brought his knees to his chest, shaking his head.

 

"Why can't you talk to me..?" Blaine asked.

 

"I-I just can't.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Well, I guess I'm giving you space." Blaine said before leaving.

 

Blaine thought about that night and hated himself for it. He should've known.. But he didn't, but now all he could do was give Kurt all of the love he needed and be here for him. Maybe he could change his work schedule. Make sure he could be here everyday. He smiled to himself at the thought of being able to take Kurt out. He just had to make sure he kept helping Kurt.

 

The time came when visiting hours were almost over and Kurt was clutching Blaine's hand. "Why do you have to go?..."

 

"Its the rules.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"B-But..I-If you go..H-He'll come." Kurt said, tears in his eyes.

 

"I-I'll talk to your doctor.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "R-Really?.." he asked, his scratching at the carpet.

 

Blaine nodded. "Of course.."

 

"Thank you.."

 

Blaine leaned down and kissed Kurt softly before going to find his doctor. He was in the hall, checking his chart when he saw Blaine. "Mr. Anderson..Headed home?.."

 

"Well..I wanted to talk to you.."

 

"What about?.."

 

"He umm.. He told me what happened.." Blaine said quietly. The doctor nodded, looking down. "Kurt mentioned that he comes back in his sleep.."

 

"Dreams..Well, nightmares..He has night terrors and screams at times.." The doctor said softly.

 

Blaine took a deep breath. "And my being here has seemed to help. Would there be any way to have me stay a night..? To see if it stops..?"

 

The doctor thought for a moment. "I don't see why it would be a problem.." he said quietly.

 

"Really?" Blaine asked, surprised.

 

"I'll get a nurse to bring you a cot and you can stay tonight."

 

"Thank you so much.."

 

The doctor nodded. "As long as this is beneficial to Kurt.."

 

"Oh of course. I really just want to help him," Blaine said softly.

 

He nodded again, smiling warmly. "Well it would be appreciated if you could take Kurt to dinner, now.."

 

"I will," Blaine said, thanking him once more before going to tell Kurt. Kurt was on the floor, as usual, looking through the stack of pictures Blaine had in his bag. "Hey beautiful," Blaine smiled.

 

"Hello." Kurt smiled. "Did I ever show you my boyfriend?"

 

"Yeah.. Why don't you come to dinner and tell me more about him?"

 

Kurt looked around the room in thought before nodding and standing, picking up a few of the pictures and taking them with him. Blaine got their trays and sat down. "Where is your boyfriend?"

 

"Home..Maybe." Kurt said, arranging the pictures in a pattern across the table and sitting in the chair, but on his knees, leaning over the spread.

 

"When was the last time you saw him..?"

 

"Nine years, three months, and nine days ago." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Does he know you are here?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt simply shrugged, scratching at his own face on one of the pictures with a blunt nail.

 

"Why do you do that?"

 

"That's not me anymore.."

 

"Why..?"

 

"I'm not him..He was calm..Sane.." Kurt whispered.

 

"You've been through a lot Kurt.."

 

"I'm not me.." Kurt said darkly. Blaine went silent, his eyes widening slightly. Kurt was quiet as well for a moment bore sitting in his chair properly, but slouching a bit. "He is weak.." Claude said, looking over at Blaine.

 

"I don't believe that," Blaine said, looking back at him.

 

"Do you not see how easy it is for me to take over?..How easily I could end his pathetic excuse for a life?.." Claude asked, raising his wrists and giving a dark laugh.

 

"We'll see about that. I'm here now." Blaine said, not backing down.

 

"What can you do?..What can you do when you're not here? When your life calls you away..You can't stay here forever." Claude spat, staring at Blaine, his eyes filled with loathing before muttering something in French under his breath.

 

"There are other people. You'll see. I'm going to help get rid of you."

 

Claude let out a loud laugh that went on for longer than it should've, as if Blaine had just told him some hilarious joke. "You cannot get rid of me." He smiled, chucking before calming down a bit. "I feed off of the hate, and anger, and depression in his heart..That's not going anywhere for a long time..And you..You come back..For what?..You did not love him."

 

"I did. And I still do. And all that anger and depression can go away. Then where will you be? No where." Blaine said, staring into Claude's eyes.

 

"Do you wonder why he hasn't told you he loves you yet?..." Claude asked, smirking a bit.

 

That felt like a stab straight to his heart. But Blaine didn't show it. "Because of you."

 

Claude nodded, smiling. "Very good, monsieur.." he said, sipping Blaine's water.

 

"He'll move past all of this," Blaine said, sure he was right.

 

"Do you know..Where I come from?.." Claude asked. "He did not make me up, Blaine..I am real..He has just given me a name he knows..One he will never forget."

 

"People get better from this. Kurt will be one of them."

 

"I'm the one that made him this way..Oh he looked so innocent walking home from work that night..I couldn't help myself.." Claude whispered, smirking.

 

"What?"

 

"I am Kurt's..How do I say?..Kurt's embodiment, of the one who raped him." Claude smiled.

 

"As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but a low life piece of shit. I'm back now and I will not let you ruin his life any longer." Blaine growled.

 

Claude chuckled as he saw the rage rising in Blaine's eyes. "He was so scared..Begging for me to let him go..'No, please, don't..'" Claude let out in Kurt's voice. "He screamed for you..He wasn't that far from home..Just a few more steps.."

 

Blaine bit his tongue. He couldn't hear this. But he couldn't show Claude it was affecting him.

 

"I love how he begged.." Claude smiled, biting his lip lightly. "But I mean..With those jeans he was wearing..He was asking for it, really.."

 

Blaine took a deep breath. He didn't know how long he could handle this. He needed to be alone. He needed to cry and let it out.

 

"You will never get rid of me, Blaine..And remember..Next time you are inside of him..I was the last one that was.." Claude whispered.

 

That was all Blaine could handle. He cursed himself for the tear the slipped down his cheek.

 

"Why are you crying?.." Kurt whispered, placing a hand on Blaine's cheek.

 

Blaine pulled back. "I-I'm not.."

 

Kurt looked concerned, but pulled away, looking back down at his food and poking at it with his fork. "I'm sorry I scratched your picture..." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine just shook his head. "I'll be right back.." he said before hurrying to the bathroom. Kurt watched as Blaine walked out and pulled his knees to his chest as the voices in his head grew louder. Blaine locked the door after he got into the bathroom and let out a frustrated scream before letting the tears out. Why hadn't he been there? He should've picked Kurt up. Blaine couldn't help but feel it was all his fault. He leaned against the wall, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. This is why Kurt was like this..Because Blaine left..Kurt felt disgusting and unwanted and Blaine left.. He sat there, curled up on the tiled floor and cried until there were no more tears. He hated himself for leaving when Kurt needed him most. Blaine slowly got up and washed his face at the sink. When he went to find Kurt in the cafeteria, he wasn't there. Blaine panicked and turned on his heel, rushing to look for his boyfriend. He found him in his room, curled up in bed. Kurt's body stiffened, trembling lightly as he heard the door open. "Kurt..?"

 

Kurt turned, his eyebrows kneading together as he saw Blaine. He turned over and Blaine gasped as he saw the deep scratch marks and blood dripping down Kurt's forearms. "Y-You came back.."

 

"What happened?" Blaine asked, rushing to Kurt's side.

 

"I-I thought you left..I-I'm sorry I scratched your picture..I-I'm sorry..I'll never do it again.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I'm not mad.. I'm sorry.. Claude came out.. And I just.. I needed a minute.."

 

Blaine hit the button for a nurse to come in and grabbed Kurt's hands to make him stop scratching the new wounds. Kurt struggled against Blaine but he kept Kurt pinned until the nurse got there. She walked in, strapping Kurt to the bed and ignoring his growls and screams as she cleaned the cuts and applied bandages.  
"Does he do this a lot..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"Every once and a while.." She said as Kurt relaxed slightly, his chest heaving.

 

Blaine leaned in, kissing Kurt's forehead. "It's okay baby.."

 

Kurt's breathing was still frantic as he pulled at his restraints. "Please let me go.."

 

"Please baby.. Calm down.."

 

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering softly.

 

"Kurt, I'm here baby.." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt opened his eyes, looking up at Blaine as his breathing started to calm.

 

"Just look at me baby.. I'm here.. I love you.." Blaine whispered. Kurt nodded, panting softly. Blaine ran his hand through Kurt's hair, trying to soothe him.

 

"I don't want to sedate you, sweetie.. Just calm down.." The nurse said softly.

 

Kurt whined, trying to reach for Blaine.

 

"Shh..." Blaine whispered, placing his hands in one of Kurt's.

 

"Please.." Kurt got out.

 

"I'm not leaving.. I'll stay.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"I-I..I want to say it but he won't let me..He won't let me, Blaine.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I know.. It's okay. I just need you to remember that I love you.. Don't listen to him.. If I would've known, I would have never left.. Please believe me.."

 

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths as he calmed himself, relaxing against the, now bloodstained, sheets.

 

Blaine watched, feeling terrible. "I wish I could switch places with you.. Take it all away.."

 

"I..Never would want you to feel this." Kurt whispered, almost sounding like his old self.

 

"I'd still take it if I could.." Blaine said just as quietly.

 

After a few more minutes the nurse released Kurt's wrists and ankles. "Are you okay, Kurt?..To you want to talk to your doctor?.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "Blaine..."

 

"I'm here, baby.." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt squeezed his hand. "Don't go.."

 

"I'm not..I'll stay with you all night..I won't let anyone hurt you..I'm here.." Blaine said softly.

 

"Please.." Kurt whimpered.

 

Blaine leaned down, kissing Kurt softly.

 

"I'm sorry for leaving.. I didn't want you to see me like that.."

 

"What did he say?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Nothing.." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt sat up as the nurse walked out. "I don't think you're telling the truth.."

 

"He told me who he was.. And what.. What happened that night.." Blaine said as his voice dropped to a broken whisper. "It's my fault.. I should've been there.."

 

Kurt looked up before back down, rubbing at the bandages on his arms. "He didn't know..He left..It was my fault.."

 

"No.. I'm the one that left.. You did nothing wrong.."

 

"I should've told him.." Kurt whimpered, gripping the sheets.

 

"It's okay.. Kurt, it isn't your fault."

 

"It is.."

 

"How?" Blaine asked. "You were just walking home. He hurt you. You didn't do anything. I wasn't there.. You screamed for me and I.. I wasn't there.." he got out as the tears formed in his still puffy eyes.

 

Kurt just let his own tears fall, staring to breath heavily again. "I don't want this..I don't want this..I don't.."

 

"I know.. I-I'm so sorry.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt rubbed over his bandaged forearms again. "I want to leave..He'll never leave...He'll make me stay.."

 

"I'm going to help you get out. You will get better."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine with hope filled eyes. "Blaine.." He whispered, "I want to go.."

 

"I know.. You will.."

 

Kurt got up, looking at the sheets and gasping at the sight of the blood. "Wh-Who's is that?.."

 

"Yours.." Blaine said quietly. Kurt went pale, clutching to Blaine and burying his face in his chest.

 

Blaine held Kurt close. "You'll be okay.. I promise.."

 

"What's wrong with me?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Nothing.. You just have to let go and forget about what happened. You're still a beautiful and amazing person. Nothing has changed. You just have to let go.."

 

Kurt sniffed softly, tilting his head up to kiss Blaine.

 

Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek. "I love you more than anything. No matter what has happened. No matter what Claude says. I, Blaine Anderson, am so in love with you."

 

Kurt made a pained face and Blaine could see how badly Kurt wanted to say he loved him back.

 

"It's okay. I know. And I'm not going anywhere," Blaine said seriously. Kurt nodded, nuzzling into Blaine's neck and giving a soft whimper.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead. "I swear, I won't leave the room tonight. I won't let anything happen to you.."

 

Kurt nodded, holding Blaine close. They got in the bed and watched a couple of movies on Blaine's phone. Well, Blaine watched the movies and Kurt traced Blaine's features with his fingertips.

 

As the last movie ended, Blaine looked up at Kurt. "How are you feeling..?"

 

"Like..I'm safe.." Kurt said softly.

 

"Good," Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt's nurse came in and gave Blaine a small cot to sleep on. "Lights out in ten minutes..We lock all of the doors after then." she smiled. Blaine thanked her for the cot as she left. He turned back to Kurt to give him a kiss goodnight. Kurt seemed a bit shaky at the thought of Blaine leaving his bed. He just held on to Blaine, kissing him softly.  
"Want me to stay here until you're asleep?" Blaine whispered.

 

"Please.." Kurt whispered, making sure to keep his lips to Blaine's. "What if he comes?.."

 

"I'll stop him," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, running his hands through Blaine's hair.

 

"I can't tell you how good this feels.."

 

"You don't have to.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

 

"I know..Feels so good..Reminds me of back then.."

 

"Me too.. Can I sing to you..?"

 

"Mhmm..." Kurt hummed sleepily.

 

Blaine held Kurt close as he started to sing.   
"Hello my friend, we meet again  
It's been awhile, where should we begin?  
Feels like forever  
Within my heart are memories  
Of perfect love that you gave to me  
Oh, I remember 

When you are with me, I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My sacrifice"

 

Kurt kissed along Blaine's jaw lazily as he listened. Blaine smiled at the gesture as he teared up a bit.   
"We've seen our share of ups and downs  
Oh how quickly life can turn around  
In an instant  
It feels so good to reunite  
Within yourself and within your mind   
Let's find peace there

When you are with me, I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My sacrifice.."

 

Kurt found Blaine's hand with his own, lacing their fingers together.

 

"When you are with me I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
Cause when you are with me I am free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My sacrifice, My sacrifice.." Blaine finished the song quietly and kissed Kurt's forehead. "I'll never forgive myself for letting this happen to you.."

 

"Don't.." Kurt said softly. "I'll always love you.." he whispered, on the edge of sleep.

 

Blaine's head snapped up at Kurt's words. His heart swelled. He needed to hear that. He couldn't believe how wonderful it made him feel. "I love you too, Kurt."

 

Kurt curled up against Blaine, humming softly as he fell asleep. Blaine waited a few minutes, making sure Kurt was asleep before sliding into his cot. He looked over at Kurt who looked so peaceful..He couldn't possibly have any of the nightmares tonight. Blaine smiled to himself, letting sleep take him.

 

Around midnight Kurt's eyes shot open as the lock on his door beeped quietly. The door knob slowly turned and the man stepped inside. His eyes darted over to Blaine, who could barely be seen in the shadows. He was still there..  
The man stepped over to the bed, the moonlight reflecting his wicked grin the spread over his face. Kurt trembled, shaking his head as he scooted closer to the wall. "No.. Please.."

 

"Shhh...It's okay.." The man said, grabbing Kurt's wrists and slowly pulling him to the edge of the bed.

 

Kurt's entire body started to convulse as his dashed back and forth between Blaine and the nurse. "B-Blaine.." He whispered, his voice quiet and fearful.

 

The nurse pulled him off of the bed and quickly bent him over, pulling his wrists together behind his back and shoving his face against the mattress. "No screaming tonight..You know no one will come.." he whispered against Kurt's ear, his stubble brushing against Kurt's neck as he trembled beneath him.

 

Kurt whimpered, trying to get out of the stronger man's grip. The voices in his head started getting louder. He heard Claude screaming, telling him he was nothing. He deserved this. Blaine didn't really love him. Blaine wouldn't wake up to save him. But then, something happened that Kurt hadn't experienced before. He heard his mother's voice boom over Claude's, telling her son to scream. Scream for his boyfriend. 'Listen to me baby,' she yelled to Kurt. 'Scream.. He'll hear you.. Blaine will stop it..'

 

'I-I can't..I can't..' Kurt whispered to her, tears spilling down his cheeks as the nurse hastily started to pull Kurt's pants down, making him whimper and try to draw his legs up.

 

'You can, Kurt. You're strong,' Elizabeth said back.

 

'Don't listen to her! She's a liar! You know he'll never love you!' Claude growled loudly. 'Blaine left you. He didn't want you. You'll never be good enough!'

 

Kurt's breaths were rapid as his thoughts raced. 'You're wrong..Y-You're wrong..B-Blaine..Blaine..Blaine!' Kurt yelled before bucking underneath the man and letting out a bloodcurdling scream.

 

Blaine awoke immediately, jumping out of the cot. His mind raced as he looked towards Kurt's bed. Adrenaline rushed through Blaine's body as he lunged forward, pulling the man off of Kurt and throwing him to the ground. He pinned him to the cold tile, making sure he couldn't move as he screamed for the doctor.

 

Kurt cowered, backing away from both of them and into the corner, continuing to scream as a doctor and security guards ran into the room. "What's going on in here!?"

 

Blaine looked up without letting the nurse go. "I heard Kurt scream. I woke up and he had his pants down. You still sure Kurt was having nightmares?!" he spat at the doctor.

 

The doctor looked in a rage, yelling at the security guards to call the police and have the nurse arrested. The nurse took a long look at Kurt, making him shake harder in his corner before he was carried away.

 

Blaine went to the bed, pulling Kurt close. "I know you're scared. But you have to tell me. Is he the only one? Has anyone else touched you?"

 

Kurt could barely think, his thoughts sending sparks in his vision like some machine was raging in his head. "J-Just..Him..Just.."

 

Blaine nodded, glancing back at the doctor. "It's okay baby.. He's gone.."

 

The doctor had his head in his hands and sat on the edge of Kurt's bed, shaking his head.

 

"You said he screams at night. No one cared to check on him?" Blaine asked.

 

"W-We assumed it was just night terrors..He's had them before.." The doctor whispered.

 

"I can't believe this. If he hadn't asked me to stay.. No one would know.."

 

The older man just shook his head. "I can't believe this happened.."

 

Blaine sighed, rubbing up and down Kurt's back as he tried to soothe the trembling man.

 

"Take me home..Take me home.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine looked at the doctor, eyes full of resentment. "What am I supposed to tell him? He has to stay where he was constantly raped? This won't help him."

 

"I..I can see about having him transferred to another hospital..Mr. Anderson..You have to know..no one had any idea.."

 

"We'll talk to Kurt when he's okay enough to talk to." Blaine said.

 

The doctor nodded. "If you need anything, let me know.." He whispered, walking out of the room.

 

Blaine sat up pulling Kurt between his legs. "He's gone.. He can't hurt you.."

 

"You woke up..He..He didn't hurt me..You saved me.."

 

"I know baby.. You're safe now.."

 

Kurt pulled Blaine close, kissing him deeply. Blaine gasped before kissing him back. "He said you wouldn't..He was wrong..He was wrong.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Who? Claude?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt nodded, tears streaming down his face.

 

"He told me the same thing. But he was wrong. I'll do anything I can to help you.."

 

Kurt nodded, kissing Blaine again.

 

"He can't hurt you anymore." Blaine whispered. "Not unless you let him. He's gone for good.."

 

Kurt twitched as he heard Claude's voice ring through his ears. Kurt closed his eyes. "Shut up.." He whispered angrily.

 

"Don't listen to him. He's a monster. You're better than him. You're Kurt Hummel. You can predict the next fashion trend a year away. You're beautiful and amazing," Blaine encouraged, trying to drown out the voices Kurt heard.

 

"I just want him to go away.." Kurt whispered brokenly.

 

"Ignore him. I know he's loud and what he says hurts.. But don't listen. He'll get annoyed and stop.."

 

Kurt nodded, looking up at Blaine as he reached up to pull his own hair, closing his eyes. "I hate you!" He yelled. Blaine kept his arms around Kurt, hoping this would help. Kurt's breathing grew faster as he began to argue with himself. Blaine could swear he felt Kurt's body tremor with each change in his voice.  
"He does not love you..He never has and he never will!" Claude roared, trying to push Blaine away.  
"He loves me he says he loves me and I love-"   
"Don't you say it you filthy little-"   
"I love him!" Kurt screamed before something in him snapped and he went limp in Blaine's arms, his breathing slowing to an even pace.

 

Blaine's eyes were wide as he watched. "K-Kurt..?"

 

Kurt said nothing, pulling Blaine close and nuzzling against his shirt.

 

"Are..Are you okay..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

Kurt nodded, eyes still closed. "S'quiet.."

 

Blaine let out a long breath. He kissed the top of Kurt's head. He didn't know if it would last or not. But at least they had some peace for now. Kurt asked Blaine to carry him to bed and the shorter did, climbing in with him. "I love you.." Kurt said quietly.

 

Blaine traced Kurt's jaw line. "I love you too."

 

Kurt smiled, humming happily in the darkness. "Do you remember..When we would stay up all night..Just kissing..And..When we made love..It felt like..We were..Together?.."

 

"How could I not?" Blaine grinned. "I remember everything with you."

 

"I want..To feel that again.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine's lips trembled. His eyes teared up as he hid his face against Kurt's chest.

 

"Don't cry.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"I-I.. I thought.. I thought I'd lost you..forever.." Blaine breathed out, trying not to cry.

 

"I'm here.." Kurt said, petting Blaine's curls. He was quiet for a minute before speaking up. "You know..I'm getting married.."

 

Blaine's held his breath, his body going still. "What?"

 

"To Blaine.." Kurt said softly. "He says..When I get better..He'll give me the perfect wedding.."

 

Blaine bit his lip. "Why do you talk about me in third person..?" he asked, scared he was losing Kurt again.

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine, his eyebrows kneading together in confusion. "You're..Not.." he squeezed his eyes shut, grabbing Blaine's hand and clutching to it. "You are..You're Blaine.." he whispered as he relaxed.

 

"I am.." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt pulled Blaine closer so the younger was on top of him. "Tell me things you used to.."

 

"Used to what?"

 

"Things he..Y-You..Used to tell me..The little things.." He said, wrapping his legs around Blaine.

 

Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek. "How much I love you.. How gorgeous you are. Especially your eyes.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine, placing his hands on the shorter's shoulders.

 

"I loved just watching you. When you worked.. You were so passionate. How your eyes would light up as you spoke about your dreams.. It inspired me.."

 

"My dreams?.." Kurt asked.

 

Blaine nodded. "Designing clothes.. Performing on a big stage.."

 

Kurt smiled as he thought about it. He would've loved to have remembered those dreams.

 

"I remember watching you practice. You were amazing," Blaine said in awe.

 

Kurt smiled, leaning up to kiss Blaine softly, tightening his legs around him.

 

Blaine sighed happily. "I love you so much, Kurt."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered.

 

"It's been a long night.. You should rest.."

 

"I want you..While its quiet..Just us."

 

"What if.. What about earlier..?"

 

"What happened earlier?.." Kurt whispered and Blaine remembered his memory lapses. Maybe it wasn't a good idea..

 

"Nothing. I'm just really tired," Blaine said, giving a loud, fake yawn.

 

Kurt pouted, sighing softly. "Me too.."

 

"We will when we go home," Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, rolling them onto their sides.

 

"Goodnight beautiful.."

 

"Night.." Kurt hummed, kissing Blaine softly, making sure their lips were less than an inch apart all night. The next morning, Blaine was in the bed alone. Kurt was on the floor, the ear buds of Blaine's mp3 in his ears. He took a deep breath and stretched, taking a moment to just watch Kurt. Kurt had his hands on the floor in front of him, moving his fingers like he was playing the piano as a classical song hummed in his ears. He wondered if Kurt remembered. Maybe he could take him to a music shop one day and let him play.

 

Kurt smiled to himself before looking up at Blaine. "Morning.."

 

"Good morning," Blaine said softly. "How did you sleep?"

 

"Well.." Kurt said, sticking a finger in his ear and shushing someone.

 

Blaine sighed. "He came back?"

 

Kurt just nodded, standing up. "I don't want to stay here."

 

"We can get you transferred.."

 

Kurt nodded. Looking at his arms where he had taken off the bandages at some point.

 

"Kurt.." Blaine sighed.

 

Kurt didn't say anything as he ran his hand over the scabbed skin. "I want to leave."

 

"Okay. We'll talk to your doctor.."

 

"Now?.."

 

Blaine nodded, standing and reaching for Kurt's hand. Kurt took it without hesitation, squeezing lightly. They headed into the hall and went to the doctor's office. Dr. Hanson looked up as they walked in. Mr. Anderson..What may I do for you?.."

 

"We wanted to talk about the transfer.."

 

"I thought as much.." The doctor said as Kurt sat. "I have a few hospitals in mind that have inpatient services and I believe Kurt would be more comfortable.."

 

"When can I go home..?" Kurt asked quietly.

 

Dr. Hanson looked up at Kurt, adjusting his glasses. "When your symptoms are manageable.." He said softly before handing a couple of papers about other hospitals to Blaine.

 

Blaine scooted closer to Kurt. "What do you think of these?"

 

Kurt grabbed a paper, holding at the corner as his eyes jumped around the paper labeled 'New York State Psychiatric Institute'. "This one.."

 

Doctor Hanson nodded. "That was my first choice."

 

Kurt read over it again. "It says I can volunteer for research..I don't want to."

 

"You don't have to," The older man said softly.

 

Kurt nodded again, looking at a picture of the rooms. It was nice. Colorful. Not the plain white that was here. "I want to leave now."

 

"I'll call and make the arrangements."

 

Kurt nodded, looking over at his doctor. "Thank you..For..All you've done for us." He whispered.

 

"I'm sorry for what has happened. I believe this will be good for you."

 

Kurt nodded, looking over at Blaine. "Can we go get my pictures?.."

 

"Of course," Blaine said, thanking the doctor before walking back with Kurt.

 

Kurt stood on the bed, carefully taking down each scrap of paper and putting it in Blaine's bag. They gave Kurt back the outfit he had come in with, a black v neck, red blazer, gray jeans, and knee high boots. He changed and he almost looked like himself again.

 

"How does it feel?" Blaine asked.

 

"Tight.." Kurt said, pinching at the skintight fabric of his jeans.

 

Blaine giggled. "You used to love it."

 

Kurt looked at his reflection and sighed. "Will you still come visit me even though I'm further away?.."

 

"I can't be there all the time. But I will be there whenever I am not working." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine, looking like he was about to say something, but stopped and nodded. "I hope they let me have a tv.."

 

"Me too. I know how much you love the weather.."

 

Kurt smiled, nodding. They gathered his things and Blaine convinced the doctor to let them stop for lunch.  
"Mr. Anderson, you can take him yourself, or we can get a hospital van to drove him there, I just wouldn't recommend anywhere with a crowd." Dr. Hanson said as Kurt bounced excitedly, staring at the doors he hadn't been past for so long.

 

Blaine couldn't help but smile. "I'd like to drive him. And don't worry. I know the perfect place."

 

The older man smiled. Kurt hugged the doctor before hugging his nurse tightly and again, thanking them. He grabbed Blaine's hand as the buzzer went off, unlocking the large double doors.

 

Blaine lead Kurt outside and to his car. "Are you excited?"

 

Kurt nodded, looking up and around and everywhere at everything. He looked like a little kid on Christmas as he stated up at the buildings and almost pulled his hand away from Blaine's trying to examine people before they made it to the car.

 

"Do you remember when we first moved here? We barely had money so we went to that little diner? I thought we could go there.."

 

Kurt shook his head as Blaine helped him with his seat belt while he pressed a few of the buttons on the door, laughing loudly as he rolled down the window. Blaine chuckled as he got into the driver's seat and put in the soundtrack for Wicked. Kurt immediately started singing to himself as the first track came on. Blaine was so happy as he grabbed the taller's hand. Happy Kurt would be safe now..He would be happier here..And happy that he could finally take his boyfriend out on a date. He listened to the beautiful voice as he drove to his favorite restaurant. They walked inside, Blaine having to usher Kurt along as they walked to a booth. Blaine had Kurt sit on the inside while Blaine sat next to him to keep him from wandering off. "Who are all these people?.." Kurt asked in barely a whisper. The diner was mostly empty, but Kurt seemed excited by the new faces.

 

"Just people coming to eat," Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, smiling as the waitress walked over to them. "You can get anything you want baby," Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt nodded, looking up at the waitress. "I'm Kurt." He smiled before looking down at the menu.

 

"Hi Kurt. I'm Marissa," She smiled. "What can I get for you?"

 

Kurt got a salad and a small burger and fries, toying with his spoon while Blaine ordered. Blaine got the same and smiled at Kurt as the waitress walked away. Kurt looked up at Blaine and smiled back at him before leaning in to kiss him softly.   
"I love you so much.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I-I..Love you too.." Kurt said, but Blaine could tell it was a bit of a struggle to get it out.

 

"If it's too hard, you don't have to.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"I want to.." Kurt said seriously.

 

Blaine nodded. "I just dont want you to hurt.."

 

"It's worth it.." Kurt said, kissing Blaine again.

 

"Thank you.."

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand as he squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers spasming a bit.

 

"It's okay baby.. Don't listen to them.." Blaine whispered, hoping Claude wouldn't come out.

 

"Just be quiet..I don't want you here anymore..." Kurt whispered, using his free hand to grab his hair.

 

Blaine pulled Kurt close. "It's okay baby.. It's okay.."

 

"I don't want him to ruin this.." Kurt whimpered.

 

"I know.. Try to not listen.."

 

Kurt nodded, taking a shaky breath.

 

"I'm right here. He can't take you away from me. I'm not leaving." Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear.

 

Kurt relaxed a bit, sighing softly. "Thank you.."

 

Blaine nodded, kissing Kurt's forehead. They got their food and had a pleasant meal, talking and Kurt playing with Blaine's hands and kissing his fingers and cheeks and jaw, constantly cuddling him and nuzzling him. He never wanted to be away from Blaine. They drove to the new hospital and Blaine sighed deeply. "I'm sorry I can't take you home.."

 

"Not even for a little while?.." Kurt asked softly.

 

Blaine shook his head. "I want to.. But I can't.."

 

"Why not?.."

 

"We're already here.. I don't have enough gas to go back then come here and go home again.."

 

Kurt looked down, nodding. "Okay.."

 

"I'm sorry.. I cut my hours so I can come see you.."

 

"It's okay.." Kurt said as his mother whispered to him to be understanding. "Will you come in with me?.."

 

"Of course I will," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath as they got out and walked into the large, beautiful building. Blaine walked them to inpatient services and checked Kurt in. They took Kurt to the schizophrenia unit, even though that wasn't the case, that would be the unit to best serve his needs, and introduced him to his doctor Nicole Gaine. She was a kind, Hispanic woman with long curly hair. Kurt automatically felt comfortable around her and she took him back for a physical. After that, she decided to speak with Blaine.   
"So how far has he come along since you returned?.." She asked.

 

"He seems better. But he says he doesn't remember what happened last night. He does what he can to keep Claude from coming out. He's doing well. But I'm still concerned," Blaine explained.

 

"What about exactly?.." She asked.

 

"A new place. New people. Whether or not he'll get better.. I've seen Claude come out. It's not.. I don't want Kurt to get hurt.."

 

"Mr. Anderson, I ensure you that we will do everything to make sure Kurt is safe, happy, and on the road to recovery.." She said softly, giving a smile. "We have a room ready for him, suited to his needs and safety regulations."

 

Blaine let out a deep breath. "How do the visiting hours work?"

 

"From eight AM to eight PM." She said softly. She turned to Kurt. "Kurt, would you like to see your room?"

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand. They walked down the hall and Blaine couldn't help but notice how much more of a home this place seemed. The walls were painted, there was a rec room, a living room where patients were gathered, watching television. There was a garden and a courtyard filled with beautiful plants and a common room filled with bookshelves and comfy chairs. It didn't feel like a hospital.

 

"I think you'll like it here," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, smiling as they turned a corner and walked down a hall lined with doors. She opened the one labeled: "315 Kurt E. Hummel and Kurt grinned. It was still bare, save for a twin, mahogany framed bed with a fluffy comforter and pillow. There was a dresser and Kurt bounced happily. "The walls are blue!" He said walking inside.

 

"They are. It makes it more relaxing," Doctor Gaine smiled. "We want you to be comfortable here."

 

Kurt was beaming as he looked out the window and saw the beautiful view of Manhattan. Before looking in the drawers and seeing his patient scrubs and continuing to explore the room. The floors had a soft white carpet and there was an armchair. "I love it.." Kurt smiled, sitting in the chair.

 

"Good. I'll leave you two alone. Let me know if you need anything."

 

Blaine nodded as Dr. Gaine stepped out and Kurt smiled up at Blaine.

 

"This is better than my apartment," Blaine giggled.

 

Kurt stood, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and giving him a soft kiss. "Thank you.." He said softly before grabbing Blaine's phone and turning on a song. "Dance with me.."

 

Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's hips and started to sway. Kurt smiled, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck again and swaying his hips to the slow rhythm. "In some ways, you haven't changed a bit," Blaine chuckled.

 

"I can still dance.." Kurt grinned, biting his lip and he rolled his hips forward a bit.

 

Blaine closed his eyes. "You can.."

 

Kurt gave a mischievous smile, pressing his lips to the spot behind Blaine's ear and pulling their bodies closer together.

 

"Kurt.." Blaine whispered.

 

"Hmm?.." Kurt hummed, rolling his body.

 

Blaine rested his forehead on Kurt's shoulder. "I missed this.."

 

"So did I.." Kurt whispered. His thoughts were quiet. Perfect. He just needed Blaine now. He leaned in a bit, nipping lightly at his lobe.

 

Blaine gasped, pulling Kurt closer. "I-I don't.. I dont know.."

 

"I do.." Kurt whispered, his voice sultry. Just the way he used to make it. The sound made Blaine shiver. Blaine let out a small whimper. It had been so long. He wanted Kurt so bad. But would he be taking advantage of him?

 

"We can go slow..I'll look at you..I'll know it's you.." Kurt whispered, slipping his thigh between Blaine's.

 

Blaine's breathing hitched. "W-What about..him..? What if he comes..?"

 

"It's quiet..It's so quiet Blaine, I promise.." Kurt said quietly. Blaine slowly turned his head, hesitating as his eyes focused on Kurt's lips. Kurt smiled, looking down at Blaine hopefully and leaning in a bit. Blaine breathed out heavily before pressing his lips to Kurt's. Kurt sighed happily, kissing Blaine back before starting to deepen the kiss. The shorter tightened his grip on Kurt's hips as his mind went blank and he melted against his boyfriend. Kurt gasped, backing up towards the bed and laying back, pulling Blaine on top of him. Blaine settled between Kurt's thighs, moaning against the soft, pink lips. Kurt whined at the sound as he slipped his tongue into Blaine's mouth, a harsh moan escaping at the contact. Blaine pressed his body to Kurt's as the kiss grew more heated. Kurt pulled back, looking up at Blaine and rolling his hips up. Right now, Blaine was happy for the memory lapses. He wanted to give Kurt this. This intimacy, this security of knowing he would be the only person to touch him like this again. Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

 

"Just..Keep talking..A-And look at me..Okay?.." Kurt got out.

 

Blaine nodded, keeping his eyes on Kurt's as his hand traveled up the taller's shirt. Kurt shivered, looking up at his boyfriend and giving a soft hum of pleasure.

 

"You're so beautiful.."

 

"So are you.." Kurt whispered. They took their time undressing. Blaine made sure every inch of Kurt's body was kissed and loved and touched as they were both pressed together, nothing between them.

 

"I love you so much.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered easily, smiling at that fact.

 

"Do you want me to stretch you baby..?"

 

Kurt nodded, kissing Blaine's jaw softly.

 

Blaine sucked his fingers into his mouth before placing one and Kurt's entrance. "Tell me if you need to stop.."

 

Kurt bent his legs at the knee and gasped softly, nodding. His breath began to speed up as Blaine's finger slipped inside of him, but he just had to look up at Blaine and it calmed him. Blaine brought his other hand up to cup Kurt's cheek as he slowly worked the digit inside him. Kurt moaned softly, looking up into Blaine's eyes. "A-Another.."

 

Blaine complied, adding another and placing light kisses along Kurt's jaw. Kurt gasped quietly, amazingly calm as Blaine stretched him until he was ready. Blaine kissed Kurt deeply as he very slowly pressed in. Kurt whined loudly and Blaine pulled back, looking into Kurt's eyes.   
"B-Blaine.." Kurt panted.

 

"I'm here baby.. I-It's me.." Blaine whispered, not moving. Kurt placed his hands on either side of Blaine's cheeks and nodded, pushing his hips down. The shorter kissed along Kurt's jaw to cheek as he slowly pushed in deeper. Kurt let out small gasps and whined as he wrapped his trembling legs around Blaine's waist. "Go..Please go..Blaine.."

 

Blaine cupped Kurt's face as he started to thrust. Kurt let out a small moan, allowing himself to feel good. "Oh, Blaine.."

 

"Kurt.. You feel so..so good.." Blaine whispered.

 

"So do you..I-I..Almost forgot how..Perfect.." Kurt breathed out.

 

"So are you baby.. So perfect.."

 

They moved together slowly, Blaine almost losing Kurt twice, but talking him back with kind soft words. They were flush together, panting and moaning and kissing when Kurt whined "B-Blaine..I-I I think I'm..Oh god.."

 

"Me too, Kurt.. Let go.." Blaine whispered, on the edge himself. Kurt let out a sound between a cry and a groan, his body trembling slightly as he clutched to Blaine, releasing between them. Blaine gasped loudly as he felt Kurt fluttering around him as he came inside his boyfriend. Kurt's breathing slowed down, and he looked up at Blaine with sated eyes. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too," Blaine said softly, slowly pulling out and laying next to Kurt. Kurt kept his eyes closed as he cuddled up to Blaine, running his fingers through his chest hair, smiling and giggling sleepily. Blaine chuckled. "You're adorable.."

 

"You have more of this now.." Kurt said, petting Blaine's chest.

 

Blaine nodded. "I don't like it."

 

"I do..It's soft..The rest of you is hard.." He said, running his fingers down to Blaine's abs and pressing lightly.

 

Blaine laughed loudly. "You dont like it?"

 

"I love it.." Kurt said, looking confused with Blaine's laughter. "The soft and the hard parts..And the part that's soft sometimes, and hard others.." He said, running his hand down even further to Blaine's member. Blaine gasped softly, fluttering his lashes as he looked at Kurt. Kurt smiled wide. "You're all kinds of different things.." He said, running his hand back up to Blaine's chest. "

 

"I missed this.. Just being with you.."

 

"I did too..It's been long..Did you have other boyfriends?.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine froze. He was quiet for a long time. "Yes.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine, who saw the hurt in his eyes. "You did?.."

 

"Kurt.. I thought you didn't want me. I had no idea about what happened. I thought you didn't want me anymore.." Blaine said quietly as he looked away. Kurt felt like he had been stabbed in the heart but his mother's voice slowly echoed in. Telling him once again, to be understanding. "It had been nine years.. What was I supposed to think..? Trust me.." Blaine said, still not looking at Kurt. "I wish I could take everything back.."

 

"I understand.." Kurt whispered. "You needed someone. I wasn't there.." he said sincerely.

 

"It never lasted long. I never felt right.." Blaine said quietly. Kurt nodded, nuzzling under Blaine's jaw. "I thought of you every day.. Wondering what I did wrong.. I hate myself for leaving you.." Blaine whispered.

 

"Don't..You have no reason to.." Kurt said before his eyes lit up. "Can we go watch the weather?.."

 

Blaine took a deep breath. "Anything you want."

 

Kurt smiled, climbing on top of Blaine and leaning down to kiss him deeply. "Thank you." He said before getting up and slipping on a pair of the blue scrubs from the drawer on.

 

Blaine got dressed as well. "For what?"

 

Kurt shrugged, smiling. "Being here."

 

"I'm happy to be here.."


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt smiled, opening the door and stepping out into the sun warmed hallways, looking a bit confused.

 

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked.

 

"Where are we?.." Kurt asked.

 

"We transferred you to a new hospital," Blaine said softly. Kurt's eyebrows kneaded together, his eyes darting down.

 

"What is it?"

 

"When did we leave?..."

 

"A couple of hours ago.."

 

Kurt nodded, bringing a hand up to pull his hair lightly.

 

"Come on.. We'll watch the weather channel.." Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, still looking a bit distressed as they walked down the hall. Blaine took Kurt's hand as they sat on the couch and turned the television on. Kurt relaxed against Blaine, cuddling up next to him. "How are you feeling?" Blaine asked.

 

"Good.." Kurt sighed, watching the tv before the nagging voice in the back of his head.  
'He was with someone else..' Claude said snidely.

 

"He didn't know," Elizabeth tried to reason.

 

"He fucked them. He got fucked by them..He forgot about you.." Claude countered.

 

"You heard him, baby. He thought of you all the time. He missed you."

 

Kurt shifted in his chair, not wanting to let on to Blaine that this was happening.   
"He probably told them he loved them too.." Claude hissed.

 

"It wasn't the same. Blaine said it never felt right," Elizabeth said back.

 

Kurt brought hand up, slowly covering one of his ears as he tried to block them out.   
"But he still did it," Claude argued. "He was not thinking about you when he was with the others. He stopped loving you.."

 

"He never stopped loving you, baby boy. Blaine wants to marry you. He loves you."

 

"Stop lying to him!" Claude hissed. "And after they are married, he will tire of him and leave him again. He is disgusted by you. Why do you think he held out so long? Filthy.."

 

"Don't listen to him! Blaine was waiting for the right time. You know him. He saved you baby.. He got rid of that disgusting man.. Now let's get rid of Claude.. Do not listen to him! He's only here because you're scared. But you're strong Kurt. You can overcome this."

 

Claude and Elizabeth began to argue in his head and Kurt couldn't take it, the screaming right in his ears. He curled up in a ball, the tears streaming down his cheeks as he dug his nails into his scalp.

 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands and pulled him close. "Don't listen. Shh.. It's okay, Kurt.."

 

Kurt tried to pull away to pull his hair, scratch his arms, anything. But Blaine's grip was too strong.

 

"Don't let him hurt you," Blaine said, looking up and calling for a nurse.

 

"If I do they'll stop!" Kurt yelled.

 

"You have to ignore them baby.. Please.."

 

"I can't! It sounds like they're sitting right next to me..They're just as loud and clear a-As you! You don't know!" Kurt cried.

 

A nurse came running over. "We'll take it from here."

 

Kurt tried to pull away from them as well, frightened by the unfamiliar faces as they pulled him up. Blaine watched in horror, still not used to seeing this. They carried Kurt to a room and Blaine saw them inject him with something, making him stop screaming before the door was closed. "W-What was that?" Blaine asked.

 

"A mild sedative.." The doctor ensured Blaine, giving him a weak smile.

 

"Can I wait..?"

 

"Of course." She nodded. "If you'd like there's coffee in the dining room. Just ask one of the workers."?

 

Blaine gave a small smile, thanking her and doing just that. He sat in the empty dining room, sipping the coffee from his mug slowly. He thought about what Kurt said, staring down into the murky black liquid. Maybe this place could really help.. He just wanted to do everything he could to keep Kurt safe and happy and have him feeling better. Blaine sighed deeply. He wished he had someone that he could talk to about this.

 

Suddenly as if someone had been listening, a young girl that looked no older than eighteen sat next to Blaine and frowned at the sandwich she held. "Wanna trade?.." She asked, smiling. She had short brown hair and dull green eyes and had to have been the thinnest person Blaine had ever seen in his life.

 

Blaine gave a soft smile. "You can have it."

 

She nodded, thanking Blaine as she took the coffee and placed the wrapped up sandwich in front of him anyway.

 

"What's your name?"

 

"Raleigh..You?.." She asked, sipping the coffee slowly.

 

"Blaine," He said, smiling lightly.

 

"Blaine..Well I haven't seen you around here before Blaine..And you don't look like you belong here." She said, looking down at his clothes.

 

"I brought my boyfriend.."

 

She nodded, pushing the coffee away, seemingly done with it. She rested her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. Blaine was somewhat afraid her arm was going to snap if any pressure was applied. "Tough break.." She said quietly. "If he's in here it's not for anything good.."

 

Blaine shook his head, unable to look away from her fragile frame. "He's been through a lot.."

 

"We all have.." She sighed, looking out the window. "I just got transferred here last week. To old to be an adolescent now. Happy birthday to me, huh?" She smiled, laughing lightly.

 

"Why are you here..? If you want to talk about it," Blaine said softly.

 

"Anorexia nervosa..Also Bulimia nervosa." She said without a second thought.

 

Blaine nodded. "I'm not sure if this helps but I don't think I've ever seen anyone that tiny."

 

"Thanks." She grinned, giving a laugh. "I've been workin' on it for two years." Her strong New York accent was starting to become more apparent the more she talked to Blaine.

 

"Does it help? Being here?"

 

"Not really..They just try to get me to eat..try to scare me into eating. Therapy, the whole nine yards." She shrugged.

 

Blaine sighed. "I don't know what to do."

 

"What's your boyfriend in here for?.." Raleigh asked softly.

 

Blaine explained the basics, leaving out the major parts that weren't his business to tell.

 

Raleigh made a long hissing noise. "Yikes.." She said, pulling a face. "You said he's getting better though right?.."

 

"Yeah. But I don't know. I've never been around this before. I don't know if I'll be able to take him home.. If I'll be able to marry him.." Blaine said, focusing on the coffee again.

 

"I wish I had someone like you here to look after me..This is kinda like one of them tragic romances." Raleigh said, before straightening up. "You just have to have faith. You know how strong he is, right?"

 

Blaine nodded. "I don't know if he knows though.."

 

"You just have to make sure he does." She said. "Remind him."

 

"Thanks," Blaine said, actually feeling better.

 

"You're welcome..Keep your chin up." She smiled,

 

"You too. And if you ever want someone to talk to and I'm here, I'll listen," Blaine said softly.

 

She nodded, smiling. "I'd rather talk to you than my therapist.." She chuckled.

 

"I understand," Blaine laughed lightly.

 

"And if I ever see Kurt around I'll stop and talk to him too..What's he look like?" She asked.

 

Blaine told her just about every detail of Kurt. How beautiful he is, the color of his hair and eyes. He blushed and looked down. "Sorry.. I get carried away sometimes.. But that would mean a lot to me if you did."

 

Raleigh grinned. "Don't worry, It's cute," she said. "And I will.."

 

Blair smiled. "Thanks.."

 

They sat and talked about just about everything until Raleigh looked over and saw Kurt standing timidly in the door. "Blaine?.."

 

Blaine turned. "Hey baby. Come sit. This is Raleigh."

 

Kurt slowly walked over, his arms wrapped around his middle as he inspected her face.

 

"Hi Kurt," she said softly. "I stay here too."

 

"You know Blaine?.." He said softly, a bit more out of it than usual. Blaine decided to blame it on the sedative.

 

"We just met," Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Sick.." Kurt said quietly, sitting down.

 

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, scooting over and taking Kurt's hand.

 

"I'm sorry...I yelled at you.." Kurt said quietly. His eyes darting from Blaine to the table.

 

"It's okay, Kurt. I know it's frustrating. But I don't want you to hurt yourself."

 

Kurt nodded, rubbing up and down his scabbed arms before looking up at Raleigh, who happened to be looking at them.

 

She gave a slight smile and changed the subject. "How old are you?"

 

"Twenty-nine..I think.." Kurt said timidly, looking over at Blaine to confirm this.

 

Blaine nodded. "What about you?"

 

"Just turned eighteen." She said sweetly. "You'll like it here.." Raleigh said to Kurt.

 

"Really?" Kurt asked.

 

"Really..They're all really nice.." Raleigh said softly.

 

Kurt nodded. "I like how it looks."

 

Kurt began to become more comfortable with Raleigh and the conversation turned to music.   
"You know the rec room has a piano in it." Raleigh smiled.

 

"Do you remember playing?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips.

 

"You should teach me sometime," Raleigh said. "I mess around on it. But I don't know what I'm doing."

 

"I-I could.." Kurt said, scratching lightly at the stitches on his wrist.

 

Blaine smiled, glad that Kurt chose this place.

 

"Can we go see it?.." Kurt whispered to Blaine, staring at the space beside his head before looking to him.

 

"Yeah," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt smiled, looking to Raleigh. "Does she want to come?.."

 

Raleigh nodded, getting up and showing them where it was. Kurt hurried over to the piano, gasping softly as he let his fingers hover over the pristine white keys.

 

"Go ahead," Raleigh encouraged.

 

Kurt sat, taking a few deep breaths before hitting three random keys. The sound reverberating through the quiet room.

 

Blaine sat next to Kurt. "Don't think. Do what comes natural."

 

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes. "O-Okay.." he whispered, taking a moment before he slowly started playing. He sped up, playing the classical song he had been listening to this morning.

 

Raleigh leaned against the piano. "Wow.."

 

Kurt was concentrating on the music as Blaine nodded, grinning. "That's amazing.."

 

"Do you play?" Raleigh asked Blaine.

 

"Yeah. We used to play together." Blaine said softly.

 

"That's so sweet.."

 

"We were in glee club." Blaine smiled. "He has the most beautiful voice."

 

"Oh! I love singing," Raleigh said, her eyes lighting up.

 

"Really?.." Blaine grinned. "I'd love to hear it.

 

Raleigh blushed lightly.

 

Kurt stopped playing. "Do you want to sing something?" He asked quickly.

 

"Oh.. I-I don't know what to sing.."

 

"What's your favorite song?" Kurt asked, looking back down at the piano and running his fingertips over the keys.

 

"Well there is one that I've been listening to a lot.."

 

"What is it?.." Blaine asked softly.

 

"Unpretty.." Raleigh said quietly. Kurt nodded, taking that as his queue to begin playing.

 

Raleigh took a deep breath, turning around so she couldn't see them and started to sing.  
"I wish could tie you up in my shoes  
Make you feel unpretty too  
I was told I was beautiful  
But what does that mean to you  
Look into the mirror who's inside there  
The one with the long hair  
Same old me again today  
My outsides look cool  
My insides are blue  
Everytime I think I'm through  
It's because of you  
I've tried different ways   
But it's all the same  
At the end of the day   
I have myself to blame  
I'm just trippin'.."

 

Kurt smiled at her voice and as did Blaine. She had a very soulful voice for such a small girl.

 

"You can buy your hair if it won't grow  
You can fix your nose if he says so  
You can buy all the make up   
That M.A.C. can make  
But if you can't look inside you  
Find out who am I too  
Be in the position to make me feel   
So damn unpretty  
I'll make you feel unpretty too.." She ended the song early, turning back around.

 

Kurt stopped playing, giving quick little claps and smiling wide. "You're very good..Who are you again?.."

 

"Raleigh.." She said softly.

 

"I love your voice." Kurt said sincerely.

 

Blaine nodded in agreement. "That was amazing.

 

Raleigh's blush returned. "Thank you.."

 

Kurt nodded, his hand twitching on the piano a bit. "Ugh.." he growled in frustration.

 

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked.

 

"My hand..It's been doing it all week."

 

"Does it hurt?"

 

"A little.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Tell you doctor next time you see her," Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, gripping his wrist as his hand twitched again.

 

"You want to see her now?" Raleigh asked. Kurt nodded, seeming more frustrated than scared as his hand started to spasm under his grip. Blaine wrapped an arm around his boyfriend as they walked to Doctor Gaine's office.   
"Kurt." She smiled as they walked in. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Kinda sick.. But my hand is twitching.."

 

She raised an eyebrow. "When did this start?" She asked, walking up to him and gently taking his hand in hers.

 

"I don't know.. About a week ago." Kurt told her.

 

She led him back to her examination room, but not before telling Raleigh her therapist wanted to have a word with her. Kurt sat down while she examined his arm and wrist, "Kurt, do you know how deep the cut on your wrist was?.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "No.."

 

"Well..I think you might've hit a nerve or a group of nerves.."

 

"I didn't do it.." Kurt said seriously.

 

"I'm going to have to examine you a little more. If it's nerve damage, it is permanent. But physical therapy can help."

 

Kurt nodded, his eyebrows kneading together as she flexed his wrist.

 

"Have you had any feelings of weakness, dry eyes or mouth, numbness, tingling or pricking?" Doctor Gaine asked.

 

"U-Uh..I don't think so.." Kurt said, looking down at his hand.

 

"Good. We'll set you up in physical therapy and keep an eye on it."

 

Kurt nodded, looking over at Blaine.

 

"Will it get worse..?" Blaine asked.

 

"He could lose feeling and not be able to use his hand at all, but that's what we're trying to prevent."

 

Blaine nodded. "Okay.."

 

Kurt looked worried, squeezing Blaine's hand as he examined his own.

 

"We'll fix it in time baby.. Just don't scratch at it anymore.."

 

Kurt nodded biting his lips. "O-Okay....."

 

"I'll get that set up. Is there anything else I can help you with, Kurt?"

 

"I want to start taking medicine.." Kurt said, making Blaine raise an eyebrow. Burt specifically told the doctors he didn't want to have Kurt medicated.

 

"Are you sure?" Doctor Gaine asked.

 

"I want this to be over.." Kurt said, nodding.

 

"I'll go over your file again and see what would be best."

 

Kurt nodded, looking down at his hand again.

 

She dismissed them and blaine walked Kurt back to his room. "What changed your mind?"

 

"I've always wanted it..Dad doesn't.." Kurt said.

 

"Why didn't he..?"

 

"Because..He didn't want to see me drugged up.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Why do you want it?" blaine asked.

 

"So I can get better and go home with Blaine.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine nodded. "Okay.."

 

Kurt sighed quietly, leaning against the wall as his mother's voice entered his ear.   
"He didn't want this for you Kurt, and neither do I.."

 

'What if it helps? I don't want him around..' Kurt thought to his mother.

 

"And what if it changes who you are?.." She asked. Kurt sighed aloud. "Then it does..But I won't be crazy anymore.." He said quietly.

 

Blaine looked up. "What?"

 

Kurt blinked, looking over at Blaine. "What?.."

 

"You said you won't be crazy anymore.."

 

"I did?..Oh.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Yeah.."

 

"Just..Thinking out loud.." Kurt whispered.

 

"You're not crazy," Blaine said seriously.

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine. "What do you call it?.."

 

"I don't know. But you're here, talking to me. You're not crazy."

 

Kurt shook his head, looking down.

 

"Why do you think that?"

 

"I-I'm in a mental hospital..Look at me..I hallucinate, I have multiple personalities, I forget things..I-I forget you..If you didn't know me, you would say..I was crazy.." Kurt said, looking up at Blaine.

 

Blaine sighed. "People don't know much about these things. It isn't what they know. I love you. This isn't your fault, Kurt. Sometimes, bad things happen. We have to deal with them however we can. You will get better. You will come home. And we will get married."

 

Kurt smiled, looking up at Blaine. "Thank you.." He whispered.

 

"You just have to believe it," Blaine said, walking over and taking Kurt's hands. "You might feel weak. But you are one of the strongest people I know."

 

Kurt didn't feel that way, but he nodded again.

 

"Please believe me.. I know I don't deserve it.. But I need you to believe in us.."

 

"I love you.." Kurt said, looking up at Blaine with tear-filled eyes.

 

"I love you too.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"I do believe in us.." Kurt said softly.

 

Blaine gave a weak smile, hoping it would be enough to get them through this. Kurt looked up, whimpering softly before burying his face in Blaine's neck. "What's wrong..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I-I don't know..I'm sorry..I'm scared..I'm tired.."

 

Blaine rubbed Kurt's back softly. "What's scaring you? You can tell me."

 

"I feel like I'm gonna die.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine pulled back, cupping Kurt's cheek. "Why do you say that?"

 

"I don't know..I just do..I..I feel like it's coming..I-I'm scared...But..Sometimes I feel like I want it.." Kurt whispered shakily.

 

"Kurt.." Blaine said in a broken whisper.

 

Kurt couldn't look at Blaine as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry.."

 

"You can be honest with me. It's just.. I tried to move on when I thought you didn't want me.. I tried. But I can't. I-I can't live without you, Kurt.."

 

Kurt took in a shaky breath, "Don't say that.."

 

"I'm not happy without you.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"What if something happens..?"

 

"Like what?"

 

"If..Claude..Hurts me.." Kurt whispered, pulling a hand up to pull his hair a bit.

 

"He can't do it if you don't let him." Blaine whispered. "I don't know if I could.. I just.. I can't.."

 

"But if he does..Promise me you won't do..Anything.." Kurt whispered desperately.

 

Blaine was quietly for a long, drawn out minute. "I'll try.."

 

"Promise me." Kurt said, raising his voice.

 

"Why?" Blaine asked. "You don't know.. I'm nothing without you.."

 

"God dammit, promise me Blaine!" Kurt yelled.

 

"Kurt, I don't fucking know what would happen! I don't want to think about it! I lost you once.. I can't do it again.." Blaine breathed out, biting his lip to hold his tears in. Kurt brought both of his hands up to his hair and sank to the floor, resting his forehead between his knees. "This isn't easy for me.. To see you like this. But I'm here.. Fighting for you. But I don't know if..if you really want to try.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine suddenly "W-What do you mean I don't want to try?..."

 

"Try to be okay and go home with me. You sound like you're giving up then telling me I'm not allowed.."

 

"You can't give up..A-And I can't help feeling like I want to..I-I have him in my ear..I.." Kurt dug his nails into the sides of his neck. "I can't!"

 

Blaine dropped to his knees and took Kurt's hands. "I didn't say you can't feel that way. But you're telling me you.. That you love me.. Then trying to prepare me for losing you. I can't do that.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I just don't want you to hurt y-yourself..." Kurt whimpered.

 

"If you're asking be not to kill myself, I can tell you I dont plan on it. But i won't be happy. I won't have a life. I'll be alone.."

 

"I'll try..I want to be with you..I-I want to stay w-with you as..as long as I can.." Kurt whispered, his eyes filled with tears.

 

"Please don't give up.." Blaine begged, holding Kurt closely.

 

"I won't..I won't.." Kurt whispered, clutching to Blaine.

 

"I'll always be here. I promise. And there's a phone out there. If you want to call me, you can. I'll always be here."

 

Kurt nodded again. "I just want to be happy with you..I-I want to get married..And be normal..And..And..I can't..Give you that.." Kurt panted, gripping the carpet, feeling like the floor was falling from underneath him. The walls were shifting and the only thing not moving was Blaine. He grabbed onto him, whimpering.

 

"You can, Kurt. You already make me happy. You just have to get through this first."

 

Kurt nodded, the tears coming more freely as the world crumbled around him. "I-I'm so scared.."

 

"I know.. If you feel him coming, find a nurse or me. Someone will be here to stop him from hurting you."

 

Kurt nodded again, panting harshly. "There's someone else.."

 

"What?" Blaine asked, the fear obvious in his voice.

 

"I-I don't know.." Kurt squeezed his eyes closed.

 

"W-Who..?"

 

"I don't know!" Kurt yelled, squeezing his eyes closed.

 

"I-I don't understand.." Blaine whispered, not wanting to upset Kurt more.

 

Kurt shook his head, whimpering softly.

 

"I'm sorry.."

 

Kurt nuzzled under Blaine's jaw, trying to calm his breath.

 

Blaine looked at the window and sighed. "It's getting late.."

 

"Don't go.." Kurt whimpered.

 

"I don't think they'll let me stay.."

 

Kurt, sighed shakily. "I can't do this without you.."

 

"Yes you can, baby. I know you can. And if you need to talk when I'm not here, why don't you go to Raleigh? She's pretty nice."

 

Kurt nodded, his breath slowing a bit.

 

"You won't be alone," Blaine said softly.

 

"O-Okay.." Kurt whispered. He gasped harshly, his body tightening around Blaine.

 

"What is it?" Blaine asked quickly.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine, his eyes almost brown as he examined Blaine's face.

 

"What's wrong, Kurt?"

 

"Who's Kurt?.." Kurt asked, his voice lower, yet feminine. "Who are you?.."

 

"I'm Blaine.."

 

"How did you get in here?.."

 

"I came to see my boyfriend. Who are you?" Blaine asked softly.

 

"Eleanor..And I'm sorry, but your boyfriend isn't here.." She said standing. This personality was different, Blaine noted how she wasn't aware of Kurt and the others like the rest were.

 

"Do you want to talk while I wait for him..?"

 

"Talk?.." She asked timidly. "I-I don't know..I..I wouldn't know what to talk about.."

 

"Anything," Blaine said softly. "What do you like to do?"

 

"I-I don't do much.."

 

"Well, why not?" Blaine asked.

 

"It's just me here.." She explained, giving a nervous laugh.

 

"Do you like music? Or movies?"

 

Eleanor nodded, looking down.

 

"Maybe we can be friends?" Blaine asked. "I can bring in movies on my phone."

 

"Oh no, sweetie..I couldn't bother you like that..I try not to bother anyone anymore.."

 

"You're not bothering me." Blaine said softly.

 

"I-I just..I've accepted being alone.." She whispered.

 

"How come? No one should be alone."

 

"I don't have any family..I've just..Always been alone.." Eleanor said, sitting in the chair.

 

"Well I'm here now," Blaine smiled.

 

"And you'll leave.." She whispered before closing her eyes, freezing up a bit.

 

"I'll go home. But I'll be back."

 

She shook her head before crossing the room and grabbing Blaine's hands. She started to say something, but stopped and gasped harshly and Blaine knew Kurt was back in control.

 

"Hey.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"What just happened?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I met the new one.."

 

"Th-The new one?..." Kurt asked, eyes wide.

 

"Yeah.."

 

"What new one?.."

 

"Her name is Eleanor." Blaine explained.

 

"I-I don't want a new one.."

 

Blaine sighed, pulling Kurt close. "I know baby.."

 

Kurt was shaking. Someone else in his head, hearing and seeing everything he did..He was four people..He wasn't he..He was them.

 

"We'll figure this out.." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt nodded. "I-I..I love..You.." He got out.

 

"I love you too, Kurt. Do you want to lay and rest before I go?"

 

"Will you hold me?.." Kurt asked quietly.

 

"Yeah. Come on," Blaine said, leading Kurt to the bed. Kurt nodded, climbing into the soft bed with his boyfriend. Blaine cuddled up to Kurt, holding him close. Kurt was still shaking, holding on to Blaine for dear life. Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Are you scared to go to sleep..?" Kurt nodded, looking up at Blaine.

 

"He can't get you now. He's gone. In jail by now. He can't hurt you anymore.."

 

Kurt nodded again, kissing Blaine's jaw.

 

"I love you so much, Kurt."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt sighed. They laid like that for awhile until a nurse came in and told Blaine visiting hours were over. Kurt still hadn't fallen asleep and whimpered softly, tightening himself around Blaine. "I have to go, baby.."

 

"Can I call you?.." Kurt asked quietly.

 

"Always. I keep my phone on me at work just in case." Blaine said softly.

 

"O-Okay.." Kurt said, loosening his grip a bit.

 

Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt. "Goodnight beautiful."

 

"Goodnight.." Kurt whispered, running his fingers down Blaine's cheek and letting him climb out of bed.

 

Blaine gave a reassuring smile before walking out. "Can I see Doctor Gaine before I go?"

 

"Of course. She's in her office." The nurse said softly.

 

Blaine walked to her office and knocked on the door. Dr. Gaine instructed him to come in and smiled as she saw him. "Mr. Anderson. What can I do for you?"

 

"I umm.. I have a few questions.."

 

"Well I'd be glad to answer them." She said, gesturing to the seat in front of her desk. "Have a seat."

 

"Are Kurt's alters random? Or is there a reason each one is the way they are?" Blaine asked.

 

"The personalities are coping mechanisms to deal with things too painful, or to release pent up emotions. They are completely random on who they can be, but the personalities are usually based on the inner turmoil..." The doctor explained.

 

"So, Claude.. Kurt, somewhere inside of him, he feels like how Claude acts?"

 

Dr. Gaine grabbed Kurt's file. "He seems like he comes from the anger and the depression..He is an outlet for Kurt's self loathing, and..I don't mean this the wrong way, Mr. Anderson..But maybe deep down, the part of him that resents you for leaving..Claude is just all of those feelings, multiplied tenfold and embodied in Kurt's rapist..The person he hates."

 

"I know he does.. I hate myself for leaving. If I would've known, I wouldn't have left.." Blaine said quietly. "He refused to talk. I thought.. I thought he didn't want to be around me.."

 

"You shouldn't beat yourself up for it." Dr. Gaine said softly.

 

"I left him alone.."

 

"And you're back.." The woman said softly.

 

Blaine nodded. "When the alters are present, does Kurt know what's going on?"

 

"It depends on the strength of Kurt's mind at the moment. Most of the time, he blacks out and has no idea what's happening..But others he can push through and return from the state.

 

"That makes sense. What can cause new alters to appear?"

 

"Stress..Suppressed emotions.." She said looking up at Blaine. "Did..Kurt have a new alter?.."

 

"Yeah.."

 

"Could you describe it to me?.." Dr. Gaine asked, typing into her computer.

 

"Eleanor. She's older and thinks everyone will leave her. Very quiet and reserved." Blaine explained.

 

The doctor nodded, typing a few things. "What happened before Kurt entered the altered state?.."

 

"He doesn't want to be alone. He wanted me to stay.."

 

Dr. Gaine nodded, looking up at Blaine. "That could've brought it out..New place..Unfamiliar faces.." She said quietly.

 

"When he comes and talks to you.. How do you go about it? If he says Claude hurt him, do you go along with it or tell him Claude is a part of him?"

 

The doctor sighed. "I think Kurt is very much aware that Claude is a part of him. But to Kurt, it isn't his mind doing these things..We'll just simply ask him how he feels after he reemerges from the altered states..But this is his mind's way of telling us he needs someone else to do and express these things that he can't.."

 

Blaine nodded. "I feel much better that he's here. But.. What kinds of medicines are you thinking of giving him? And how do they work?"

 

"Antidepressants, an antipsychotic, anxiety medication, sleep aids at night, and stimulants..It should keep him under, and hopefully in control.." Doctor Gaine smiled.

 

"All of those..? Isn't that dangerous?"

 

"There's always a risk of side effects, Mr. Anderson. But this is what Kurt needs to recover."

 

"Okay.." Blaine said quietly, still unsure.

 

"And I understand that this is under Kurt's request, but you being the closest thing he has to a family right now, I'd like to clear it with you before we medicate him.." Doctor Gaine said.

 

Blaine took a long breath, deep in thought. "I'm scared they might be too much or make him like.. not him.."

 

"The point is to get him back to the way he was, Mr. Anderson..We could start with a low dosage if it makes you more comfortable.."

 

"Please," Blaine said.

 

She nodded, writing a few things down on a pad.

 

"Thank you so much, Doctor Gaine.."

 

"You're welcome, Mr. Anderson." She smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt walked through the garden slowly. His eyes flickering to the right as a flower swayed slightly in the breeze. He kneeled in front of it, caressing the delicate purple petal with his thumb and smiling to himself. It was so soft.

 

"Pretty aren't they?" Said a gentle voice from next to him.

 

He turned and saw Raleigh. He liked this girl. He nodded.   
"They're soft."

 

"They're my favorite. Whenever I'm upset, I come out here."

 

Kurt nodded again, turning back to the flowers. "They make me calm.."

 

"How do you like it here?" Raleigh asked, laying in the grass.

 

"It's different..Mom likes it..Blaine too.." Kurt said, pulling his finger back a bit and letting it hover over the delicate petal of the morning glory.

 

"I like Blaine. I wish I had a Blaine.."

 

"Everyone should have a Blaine." Kurt said seriously, cursing under his breath as his hand convulsed, bumping against the flower.

 

"What's wrong?" Raleigh asked.

 

"Hand.." Kurt sighed, pulling back and gripping his wrist with his other hand. He stared at it a moment before releasing it. He looked up at Raleigh and smiled, grabbing her hand. "You're kind.."

 

"I like you," Raleigh smiled. "You talk to me. Not many people do."

 

"I don't see why they wouldn't." Kurt said, seriously. "People don't talk to me because I'm crazy." Kurt whispered before laughing loudly.

 

"Why do you think you're crazy?"

 

"Do you think I'm not?" Kurt asked, looking at Raleigh as if she were crazy.

 

"No. I don't." Raleigh said honestly. Kurt gave another loud laugh, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes before letting them fall. "What's so funny?"

 

"You and Blaine and my doctor are the only ones that say that." Kurt said, seemingly amused with the conversation.

 

"Because we know you and spend time with you."

 

Kurt shrugged. "Well..Everyone else thinks I'm crazy..I haven't seen my step-brother in three years..He's in the army."

 

"I'm sorry." Raleigh said softly.

 

"I'm fine. He's fine." Kurt sighed, running his fingertips along the grass. "Don't need him. Just need Blaine..Where is Blaine? It's almost eight."

 

"Did he have to work late?"

 

"I don't know..Phone." Kurt said, standing quickly and walking towards the door that housed the rec room and the pay phones. He picked up the receiver and dialed Blaine's number.

 

Raleigh caught up to him as Blaine picked up. "Hello?.." He mumbled tiredly.

 

"Blaine?" Kurt asked.

 

"Oh, hey baby.." Blaine yawned.

 

"Are you coming to see me?" Kurt asked quietly.

 

"I will..I am..I just got home from work though, Kurt..I'm trying to get a little sleep before I come."

 

"Okay.."

 

"I will come baby..I promise..Okay?.."

 

"Okay. I love you.."

 

"I love you too. And I have a surprise for you too.." Blaine said.

 

"Really?" Kurt asked, cheering up. "What is it?"

 

"Well it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you.." Blaine chuckled. "But I'll see if I can get you a couple of muffins from the coffee shop.."

 

"Ohh! Thank you, Blaine!"

 

"You're welcome. I'll be there at ten sweetie.." Blaine said softly.

 

"Okay. Bye Blaine." Kurt said before hanging up. He smiled, bouncing a bit.

 

"He is coming?" Raleigh asked.

 

"And he's bringing muffins!" Kurt grinned.

 

"You have the best boyfriend!"

 

Around ten Kurt sat with Raleigh by the entrance. He watched the door excitedly, smiling.

 

Raleigh chuckled. "You're so cute."

 

"I love him." Kurt grinned.

 

About three minutes later, Blaine came inside, checking in at the counter before walking through the large double doors to Kurt. "Blaine!" Kurt squealed, running to him and giving him a big hug.

 

Blaine grinned, picking Kurt up and kissing him softly before setting him down. "Hey baby.."

 

"I missed you!"

 

"I missed you too baby.." Blaine said softly. "And here..Is your surprise.." He said softly, reaching into his bag and pulling out a small pot filled with soil.

 

Kurt grinned. "What is it?"

 

"It's a sunflower..You have to take really good care of it so it'll grow.." Blaine said softly.

 

"I will! I can't wait!" Kurt said happily. "Thank you!"

 

"Your welcome, Kurt."

 

"Did you bring muffins?.." Kurt asked. Scratching lightly at his neck.

 

"Yeah baby," Blaine said, holding up a bag.

 

Kurt smiled. "Let's go to the garden."

 

"Okay," Blaine said softly.

 

They sat where Raleigh and he were that morning. The three sat and Raleigh and Blaine chatted and Kurt ate his muffins.   
"Blaine..Dad said he's coming over later..We should clean the apartment."

 

Blaine sighed. "I cleaned this morning babe."

 

"Are you sure?.." Kurt asked cocking an eyebrow.

 

"Yes. I'll check again when I get home."

 

Raleigh raised an eyebrow, looking at Blaine. He shook his head lightly at her. She nodded in understanding as Kurt finished his muffin, leaning against his boyfriend. "Oh! And I thought maybe we could go see a movie tonight.." He smiled.

 

"Oh yeah? What movie?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt smiled, going on and describing every aspect of their date night before pausing and looking at Blaine like he didn't even know him.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"Who are you?.." he asked and Raleigh gasped, giving Blaine a sad look.

 

"I'm Blaine," He said softly.

 

Kurt was deep in thought. "I-I'm sorry..I don't.."

 

"An old friend.." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt nodded, looking down. "I'll be right back.." He said, standing and carefully walking off to go look at the flowers.   
"I'm so sorry.." Raleigh whispered.

 

"It's fine." Blaine whispered, staring off at Kurt.

 

"You're so strong..I don't think I could handle that.."

 

"Knowing what I know now.. I can't leave him. No matter how much it hurts."

 

Raleigh rested her head in her hand. "Well what do you know now?.."

 

"I don't know if I should say.."

 

"That's okay..He..He mentioned his step-brother earlier..I think he just needs some old familiarity..Maybe that'll get him thinking again? Remembering?" Raleigh asked.

 

"Finn? I haven't seen him in years. Maybe I could track him down." Blaine said hopefully.

 

Raleigh smiled. "I think that'll help.." She said, lightly nibbling on a muffin.

 

"It's a good idea. Thank you."

 

Later they went inside And Kurt wrote his name on a fiber pot, since the doctor wouldn't allow the ceramic blaine originally brought it in, and replanted his sunflower seed, placing it in a nice sunny spot in his room. Blaine spent the day with Kurt and Raleigh before he went home and did some research to find Finn Hudson. He wasn't sure where to start so he put his name into a search engine. After a few hours he found him. He was living in Columbus and in the Army reserve. He quickly found his number in the yellow pages and called him up.

 

"Hello?" Finn answered.

 

"Hey Finn. It's Blaine. Blaine Anderson."

 

"Blaine?..Wow..It's..been a while."

 

"I know. I umm.. I kind of need a favor.." Blaine said carefully.

 

"What is it?.."

 

"Kurt isn't doing so well. His memory slips often. And well.. I was hoping maybe seeing another familiar face would help.."

 

"You went back to him?..Even like..That?.." Finn asked, not meaning for it to come across as badly as it had.

 

"Like what?" Blaine asked bitterly.

 

"Dude, You know.." Finn mumbled.

 

"Do you even know why he's here?"

 

"I don't know..Mom said something about split personalities or something.." Finn said.

 

"Well he's been through a lot. I just thought it might help if he saw you. And maybe Carole.."

 

"Well..Mom is in the Virgin Islands with some people from that support group..But..I'm sure I could make it.." Finn said, sighing.

 

"Thank you, Finn.."

 

"Your welcome, Blaine..I'll try and be out there Saturday morning."

 

"See you then."

 

Saturday morning came and Blaine went to the airport to pick up Finn. He smiled when he saw the tall man. "How are you?"

 

"Great." He smiled, pulling Blaine into a light hug.

 

"Good, good." Blaine smiled as they went to get his bag.

 

They got Finn's duffel bag and walked out to Blaine's car.   
"So..We going straight there?.."

 

"I figured you'd be hungry. I thought we'd grab a bite after dropping your stuff off and then go. If that's okay." Blaine said.

 

"Fine with me.."

 

They did just that, picking up a couple burgers and drove to the institute. Blaine saw Raleigh after they checked in, Finn looking slightly uncomfortable.

 

"It's okay, Finn. He'll be happy. Just whatever you do.. Go along with anything he says if he's not being himself."

 

Finn nodded, swallowing.

 

"Hey Blaine.." Raleigh smiled, walking up to them. "You must be Finn.." she said, pulling at the sleeve of her shirt.

 

"Finn, this is Raleigh. She stays here too." Blaine said softly. "How's Kurt?"

 

"He's good. Watching the weather in the TV room.." Raleigh said, walking that way.

 

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked Finn.

 

"O-Oh..Um..Yeah." The taller said, looking down and nodding.

 

They walked into the room and Blaine smiled. "Hey Kurt."

 

Kurt was sitting cross-legged on the couch and looking up at Blaine. "Hey.." He said softly.

 

"Look who I brought."

 

Kurt looked up at Finn and stared blankly at him for a few seconds. "Who..Who are you?.."

 

"This is Finn. Your brother." Blaine said.

 

"I don't have a brother.." Kurt said, scoffing.

 

"Yes you do baby.."

 

"No I don't..Do I?.." He asked, looking at Finn and tilting his head a bit.

 

"Dude, it's me.." Finn said softly.

 

"Oh! Finn!" Kurt grinned before his smile faded. "You never come to see me."

 

"I-I've been in Ohio, still.." Finn said, looking down.

 

"You've been with dad?.." Kurt asked.

 

Blaine looked at Finn, hoping he'd say yes.

 

"U-Uh..Yeah..Yeah, I've been with Burt.." Finn said softly as Kurt stood and walked over to them.

 

Finn swallowed hard as he saw the scars and cuts on Kurt's arms and neck.

 

"How is dad? Where is he?"

 

"H-He's good..At home with Carole.." Finn said quietly.

 

Kurt gasped quietly and his hand crawled up his neck to his hair, pulling softly. He began to make shushing noises under his breath and Finn looked to Blaine.

 

Blaine walked over, pulling Kurt close. "Don't listen. I'm here baby. Don't listen to him."

 

"He said he's dead.."

 

Blaine sighed heavily. "He is.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine with wide eyes. "W-What?.."

 

"I'm sorry, Kurt.."

 

"No..No..Nonono you said he lies, you said he was wrong..You said he was lying!" Kurt said, his voice raising as he pulled away.

 

"I-I thought he was coming out. Baby, please. You know this." Blaine pleaded.

 

"No I-I don't! I don't!" Kurt yelled, digging his nails into his forearms.

 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrists. "Don't, Kurt."

 

Kurt began sobbing, dropping down to his knees as Blaine held on to his wrists. "Let m-me.."

 

"Kurt, I'm here. I know it hurts.. Don't hurt yourself.."

 

Kurt gasped as he felt strong arms around him and looked up to see Finn.

 

"H-How..?" He whispered brokenly.

 

"Heart attack.." Finn whispered back.

 

"When?"

 

"About a year ago..You were with him when it happened." Finn said softly.

 

"I-I don't..I don't remember," Kurt gasped.

 

"I know..It's okay.." Blaine said softly. "Relax..Don't let anyone out.."

 

"So loud.."

 

"I know baby..Just Shh..Shh.." Blaine whispered. Kurt curled up in his boyfriend's arms as he relived the pain of his father's death. Finn felt helpless. He had never seen Kurt this bad..

 

"I-I need him.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Listen to your mom, Kurt.." Blaine said softly. Kurt closed his eyes, trying to find her voice through Claude's screaming.

 

"It's okay baby..I'm here..Listen..It's okay..I'm here.." His mother whispered. Kurt clenched his fists, focusing on her soft voice.

 

Finn leaned down and held Kurt close, petting his hair softly. "I-It's okay Kurt."

 

"Listen to him baby boy. I'm still here. Finn is there. And Blaine. You're not alone." His mother soothed.

 

Kurt's body relaxed a bit, sighing in relief. Finn rubbed Kurt's back, looking up at Blaine.

 

"He's okay.." Blaine said softly.

 

"Can I go lay down?.."

 

"Yeah baby. Come on."

 

Kurt nodded as Blaine helped him up. He carried him to his room and helped him into bed. Kurt curled up in the bed and Raleigh sighed softly. "You guys wanna go get some lunch?.."

 

"Sure." Finn said. "Will he be okay?"

 

"Yeah.." Blaine said, kissing Kurt's forehead.

 

"Love you.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I love you too.." Blaine smiled. They walked through the hallways to the cafeteria and Raleigh got a water while Blaine and Finn got sandwiches. "Sorry about that.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"It's okay..I guess..I just can't believe he's like that.." Finn sighed.

 

"I know. I couldn't either."

 

"He wasn't as...Bad last time I saw him." Finn whispered.

 

"He has gotten better since I came back." Blaine said softly.

 

"I just wish he wasn't crazy anymore." Finn said quietly. Raleigh nearly spit out her water.

 

Something in Blaine snapped. "He is not crazy!"

 

Finn froze, staring at Blaine. "I-I didn't mean-"

 

Blaine sighed. "He thinks he is. But he isn't. And I don't need someone else calling him that."

 

"I'm sorry.." Finn said seriously. "But..I-I just don't see any other word for it.."

 

"You don't know what he's been through."

 

Finn just looked down, biting his lip.

 

When they finished eating, Kurt slowly walked to their table. "You're still here."

 

"Of course.." Finn said softly.

 

Kurt sat next to Blaine. "I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be sorry baby..You hungry?.." Blaine asked.

 

The thin boy shook his head.

 

"I'm still gonna get you something.."

 

"Okay.."

 

Blaine smiled, getting up and going to get some food. He picked out a salad and soup and moved down the line. He looked over and saw a blonde girl staring at him.

 

"Hi," He said softly.

 

"Hey.." She smiled, biting her lip.

 

"How are you?"

 

"Great now.."

 

Blaine raised an eyebrow. Was she flirting?

 

"I see you around here a lot.." She said, scooting closer. "How come you've never came and talked to me?.."

 

"I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend."

 

"Boyfriend?..That's kinda hot.." She grinned.

 

"I'm completely gay," Blaine chuckled.

 

"That doesn't mean I can't-"

 

"What's going on?" Kurt said quickly as he walked up to them.

 

"I'm getting you some food." Blaine said, trying to hold back a smile.

 

"Are you his boyfriend?" The girl asked.

 

"I am." Kurt said, hands on his hips.

 

"You're cute too..Kinda feminine..But I don't have a problem with that." She smiled.

 

"No. He is mine. Only mine. And we only like cock." Kurt said in his 'Queen Bitch' mode.

 

Blaine smiled wide, seeing a little of the old Kurt there. Maybe lacking some of the old Kurt wit, but it was still there.

 

"Well, who's your friend over there?" She asked, nodding to Finn.

 

"My brother. He's married. Go." He said, shooing her away.

 

She did walk away. But not in a direction Kurt liked. She headed over to Finn and sat in his lap. "Hey there sexy. I'm Miranda."

 

"Hi.." Finn smiled and Raleigh raised an eyebrow. "Miranda, fuck off."

 

"I'd love to fuck you," She grinned, winking at Raleigh.

 

Raleigh rolled her eyes as a nurse came, sighing as He got Miranda off of Finn. "What did your doctor say?"

 

Miranda sighed. "Not to try to have sex with strangers."

 

"That's right..Go on." He said, sitting her down at a table.

 

"Miranda's a nymphomaniac," Raleigh explained as Kurt and Blaine returned.

 

"Never would've guessed.." Blaine chuckled, scoffing.

 

Kurt just rolled his eyes.

 

"It's okay baby.." Blaine giggled kissing his cheek.

 

Kurt smiled, tapping absently at the table.

 

"You okay?" Blaine asked.

 

"Blaine should be here soon."

 

"I'm right here baby.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "No. He's taking me home, and we're going to get married."

 

"We will, Kurt. I promise.." Blaine said softy.

 

"Don't act like you're him..You're not." Kurt said seriously, staring at Blaine.

 

"Who do you think I am?"

 

Kurt's eyebrows kneaded together. "I-I..I don't know.."

 

Blaine gave a deep sigh. "It's okay."

 

Finn looked confused. He knew Blaine said he had memory lapses, but he never thought it was this bad. He wondered how Blaine wasn't crying right now. If Rachel was like this, he had no idea what he would've done.

 

"I start my medicine tomorrow." Kurt said suddenly.

 

"What medicine?" Finn asked. "Burt didn't want that."

 

"Kurt wants it. Just therapy isn't working..As you can see.." Blaine said softly.

 

"It might help," Raleigh said hopefully.

 

"But Burt said he didn't want that.." Finn said again.

 

"Well I do." Kurt said simply, not looking up.

 

"Your Dad didn't want that for you Kurt. Why would you do that to your body?"

 

"Why would I do that to my body? Why would I do this?!" Kurt nearly yelled, holding out his scar and scab riddled arms. "Or this?!" He asked pointing to his neck.

 

"Kurt, baby. Please, calm down. It's okay. I support you.." Blaine said quickly.

 

"No! I'm tired of this! I want to be better! I don't give a fuck what my dad wanted! I am fucked up Finn!" Kurt said, standing and leaning over the table, pointing at his brother.

 

"Kurt just calm down okay?..Just..Just chill.." Finn said, trying to soothe Kurt.

 

"I think you should go.." Kurt said, in barely a whisper before turning and walking out of the cafeteria.

 

Blaine rested his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do."

 

Raleigh rested her this hand on Blaine's back. "It's gonna be okay.."

 

"I just want him to be okay.."

 

"He will.." She said quietly before her nurse came over.

 

"Raleigh..Time for therapy."

 

The thin girl nodded, hugging Blaine before walking out of the cafeteria.

 

"I'm sorry." Blaine said to Finn. "I thought it would help."

 

"It's okay..I shouldn't have said anything.." Finn said quietly.

 

"We should go check on him."

 

Finn nodded, standing and following Blaine. Blaine knocked softly before walking in. "Hey baby.."

 

Kurt was on the floor, curled up under his blanket, sniffing softly.

 

Blaine laid next to Kurt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.."

 

"I just want to go home.." Kurt whispered quietly.

 

"I know baby. I wish I could take you."

 

"Why can't you?.."

 

"They won't let me yet.."

 

"Just take me..Please.." Kurt said, cupping Blaine's cheek as tears slipped down his own. "We could be so happy..Just us..They'll go away. They'll go away when I get home...No one else will be in me..We'll be so happy.."

 

Blaine couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Kurt close as his own tears fell. "I want to.. I want it so bad."

 

"Just take me..please.."

 

"You get your medicines tomorrow. You'll get better. Then I can take you." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt squeezed his eyes closed, whimpering as he brought his hands to his hair.   
"He doesn't want you. He doesn't want you. He doesn't want you. He doesn't want you..."

 

"Who?"

 

"Blaine..Why would he want something like you?.." Kurt's voice slowly began fading to Claude's. "Disgusting..Damaged..Crazy.."

 

"Kurt is none of those." Blaine said, quickly wiping his tears.

 

"You cannot tell me you never thought of that word with him..Psychotic..Crazy..He is Blaine..You know it..You've thought it.."

 

"No. You, Claude, are the disgusting one!"

 

Claude raised his head, giving Blaine the most sinister look he had ever seen. Blaine was terrified inside but couldn't show it. He stared back at the persona that took over his boyfriend. Claude sat up and looked over at Finn who had lost all of the color in his face.  
"You left him too..You're no better..All of you deserve to die."

 

"No one knew. You're the disgusting pig that took advantage of him. Finn, go get the doctor."

 

Finn nodded, turning to leave when Claude jumped up, pulling Finn against the wall with surprising strength and screaming at him.   
"Vous dégoûtant sac de merde! Je te tue avec mes mains nues avant j'ai tuer votre pedé précieux d'un frère!"  
("You disgusting bag of shit! i will kill you with my bare hands before i kill your precious fag of a brother!")

 

Blaine got up, pulling at Claude. Claude spun around, the back of his hand connecting with Blaine's face painfully.

 

"Ah!" Blaine cried out, yelling the doctor's name as he tried to grab Claude's wrists.

 

"Hit me! Are you afraid to hit me Blaine?! You pussy!" Claude yelled, charging at Blaine before Finn grabbed him around his waist, picking him up.

 

"Keep him tight!" Blaine yelled, ignoring Claude and running to find the doctor.

 

Blaine tried to ignore the sound of screaming as he saw nurses already running that way. When they got into the room, Claude saw the nurses and struggled more, digging his nails into Finn's forearms. Finn gave a low groan of pain as a nurse gave Claude a sedative. Claude gasped as they pressed the needle into his neck and Kurt looked over at Blaine. "B-Blaine..I..Love.." He got out before the sedative did it's work.

 

Blaine looked down, holding back tears. Finn laid Kurt down on the bed and ran his hands up and down his arms, the skin nearly broken from where Claude clawed him.

 

"You should let him rest." One of the nurses said before leaving.

 

Finn looked to Blaine. "Y-You okay?..You have a huge bruise.."

 

"I'm fine." Blaine lied.

 

Finn sighed softly. "Come here.." He said, pulling Blaine into a hug.

 

"I-I don't want..want him to see.."

 

Finn nodded, leading Blaine out into the hall and closing Kurt's door.

 

"He'll be so upset.."

 

"Just let it out.." Finn said softly, pulling Blaine into another hug.

 

Blaine gave in, letting his tears flow. Finn ran his hand up and down Blaine's back soothingly as a tear slipped down his own cheek.

 

"I-I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have made you come..and see this.."

 

"It's okay..I..I really missed him.."

 

Blaine sniffled loudly. "He misses you too. He talks about you."

 

Finn gave a light smile. "Really?.."

 

"Yeah. That's why I looked you up. He was telling Raleigh about you."

 

Finn nodded, looking down. "I haven't been a good brother.."

 

"Don't say that. I know how hard this is.."

 

"Blaine..If it was cooper..You never would've left his side.." Finn said as he pulled back slowly.

 

"I know. But that's just me. You live in another state, Finn." Blaine said seriously. Finn just shook his head, looking down. "It's okay. You're here now."

 

"I just..I know I could've done more..And..Rachel doesn't even know.." Finn said, running his hands through his hair.

 

"What?" Blaine asked. "She doesn't know anything?"

 

"I never told her..I was scared..I-I didn't want it to hurt her.." Finn said.

 

"Oh wow.." Blaine whispered. "What does she think? Wasn't she at the funeral? Was Kurt even there..?"

 

"Kurt wasn't. But Rachel was.I just told her he was.. He was busy." Finn got out. Sitting on a bench and resting his head in his hands.

 

"So she thinks he just...stopped talking to everyone? And was too busy for his father's funeral?" Blaine asked, not believing this. "She's not the kind to give up. Especially on someone that was so important to her."

 

"She worked on it for two years..She called and called and even went up to New York to look for him. But..I just can't." Finn said quietly.

 

"I'm sorry.. I can't really judge. I just found out recently.." Blaine whispered. "I shouldn't have left."

 

"You didn't know."

 

"I should've known."

 

"It took so long for any of us to know. It was just when Burt found him..Like that.." Finn said.

 

"How did it happen? I never found out."

 

He stopped calling home. Burt got worried and came up with mom to check on him. The apartment was a wreck. He wasn't himself. He was..Claude. And just covered in blood. So Burt stayed with him. When Burt knew he was getting sicker and that he might not..Be around..He checked Kurt into that hospital.."

 

Blaine nodded. " I can't tell you how much I hate myself for leaving him.."

 

"You didn't know Blaine..Seriously..I would've done the same.." Finn said softly.

 

"Did Burt.. Did he know why..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

Finn nodded. "Kurt told him after one day in therapy..No one blames you, Blaine."

 

"I do.."

 

"Why?.." Finn asked.

 

"I should've been there. I was sitting at home.. I should have picked him up.." Blaine whispered brokenly, trying to keep his tears in.

 

"He walked home every day..Don't beat yourself up.." Finn said, looking up at Blaine.

 

"I just.. I feel like there's a part of him that blames me."

 

"I seriously doubt it Blaine..He loves you.."

 

"But think about it, Finn. His personalities are all coming from a part of him. Claude, blames me. Claude is a part of Kurt."

 

Finn just shook his head. "I wish I could help.."

 

"I'll get by. I'm here now. That's all I can do." Blaine said.

 

Finn nodded, sighing softly.

 

*Flashback*   
Kurt walked down the hall to the bedroom and stopped, scratching nervously at the drywall as he saw the suitcases. "Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah?" Blaine said quietly.

 

"What..What's going on?.."

 

"I can't..live like this."

 

"W-What do you mean?..I-I..I don't understand.." Kurt said his eyes wide and fingers trembling slightly as he wrapped his arms around his middle.

 

"You can't stand to be around me. You flinch when I try to just hold your hand. You cry if I try to touch you." Blaine said, astounded that Kurt even asked. "I can't be with someone who doesn't want me."

 

"I-I do want you Blaine..I do..I just..I can't.." Kurt panted, reaching up to his hair and pulling lightly, his eyes filling with tears.

 

"I don't know what I did wrong. You're.. everything to me. But you don't even look at me anymore.." Blaine whispered brokenly as he picked up his bags. "I'll always love you."

 

"N-No..No Blaine, please don't go..Please...Please..Please.." Kurt whimpered, walking over to Blaine and holding his hands out as if to grab him but flinching away, gasping.

 

"See?!" Blaine asked, trying to keep his tears in. "I can't, Kurt.. I just can't."

 

"Don't leave me...Please..P-Please..Please..I need you..I need you Blaine. No!" Kurt begged as Blaine walked around him, walking towards the door.   
"No! No Blaine! Please!"

 

Blaine felt his heart breaking as he ignored Kurt's pleas and walked out.

*Present day*  
Blaine felt his heart breaking all over again as he remembered that night. How Kurt had begged. The sound of Kurt's gut wrenching sobs echoing down the hall as he left.. Why hadn't he stayed to make Kurt talk? He should have known there was something going on.

But he couldn't change it now. He and Finn sat there for over an hour, talking and consoling before Kurt came padding down the hall, barefoot, and wearing Blaine's coat.

 

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked, hiding the side of his face with the bruise.

 

"Nauseous.." Kurt said quietly. "What did he do?.."

 

"Yelled a lot." Blaine shrugged.

 

Kurt sat down next to Blaine and grabbed his chin, turning his face. He gasped.  
"D-Did I..?" he whispered.

 

Blaine turned away. "It's not a big deal."

 

Kurt made a hurt sound as if he were a child, about to start crying. His hands flew over his mouth as his vision clouded with tears.

 

"Kurt. Please don't cry." Blaine whispered.

 

"I hurt you..I hurt you..I..Hurt you.." Kurt got out, reaching up to pull his hair.

 

Blaine sighed, pulling Kurt close. "I'm fine.."

 

"No..I hurt you..I h-hurt you.." Kurt began to sob.

 

"Shh.. It's okay. I love you, Kurt." Blaine said soothingly.

 

Kurt sobbed against Blaine's chest. He hurt Blaine. The only one that cared for him. He couldn't hurt Blaine and not deserve to be in pain. Worse pain than Blaine felt.

 

"I'm not leaving. I'm here. I won't go anywhere.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine, taking in a shaky breath. "I love you.."

 

"I know. I love you too.."


	6. Chapter 6

*Two weeks later*

Kurt sat in his room, examining his sunflower sprout. He ran his finger over the tiny hairs on the stem before tracing the veins in the leaves. He had been on his medicine for about two weeks now and his hallucinations had decreased greatly. His memory lapses couldn't be helped, and he only heard the voices on occasion. Today was the day he would ask Blaine if he could go home with him and he couldn't be more excited.

Blaine came in with a bag of freshly baked cookies and knocked on Kurt's door. Kurt jumped up, hurrying to the door and opening it. "Blaine!" He grinned.

"Hey beautiful." Blaine said happily.

Kurt leaned in, giving Blaine a chaste kiss. "So..."

Blaine raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "What is it?"

"I think I'm better.." Kurt said seriously.

"Really?" Blaine asked. "That's amazing baby."

"So does that mean I can go home?"

"I would love that. But it's up to your doctor."

Kurt gave a pout, crossing his arms. "Fine."

"You know I want you home. But when it's safe for you." Blaine said softly. Kurt looked down, wringing his hands anxiously. "You want to go talk to her?"

Kurt looked a bit unsure, but nodded. Blaine leaned in for a small kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too.." Kurt said quietly, his hand twitching a bit. Blaine smiled softly, leading Kurt out. "W-What if she says no?..What if she says I can't go with you?..I don't want to stay away from you anymore.." Kurt said.

"Well, if she says no, I have an idea."

"What is it?" Kurt whispered, as if it were a big secret.

"You'll see," Blaine grinned. Kurt nodded, grabbing the back hem of Blaine's shirt and walking with him. They walked to the doctor's office and Blaine knocked softly. Dr. Gaine called them in and smiled. "Mr. Anderson. How can I help you?"

"Hi. We were just talking. Kurt says he's been doing much better." Blaine said confidently.

"Really?.." She smiled.

"I..I haven't let him come out..And..I've only hurt myself once since I-I started the medicine.." Kurt got out.

Dr. Gaine nodded. "You have been better."

"Well, Kurt says he's ready to come home. And I wanted your opinion."

"Well I'm not sure he's completely ready to leave just yet.." she said.

"I understand. But what if we just tried it. Just one night. I'd bring him back tomorrow.. Just to see how he does. Like a sleepover, if you will."

Kurt perked up, bouncing a bit. "Oh.." he gasped, clasping his hands together hopefully.

"Hmm.." Doctor Gaine hummed. "I'm not sure.."

"I'll eat my food, and take my medicine and ill be so, so good.." Kurt pleaded.

"You'll bring him back by four tomorrow afternoon?" She asked Blaine, still a little skeptical.

"Of course." Blaine nodded.

"I'd like to talk to you a little more, Mr. Anderson. Alone.."

Blaine nodded again and told Kurt to go stand in the hall.

"I don't normally do these things. If I let you take him, I will need you to sign a form saying that at any sign of his other personalities are coming out or he tries to run or hurt himself, you will bring him back immediately. I understand that you love him. But you are not trained to handle these situations. I'd be taking a huge risk." The doctor started. "But.. I do have to agree that he has been getting better. And I am curious to see how this will affect him."

"I understand completely. But I am positive he'll be okay with me." Blaine said before signing the forms the doctor pulled out.

"Alright, Mr. Anderson. You are all set."

"Thank you doctor. " Blaine said before walking out to see Kurt, who was already on his way to his room.

Kurt was nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "W-What did she say..?"

"She said yes.." Blaine smiled. Kurt's eyes went wide. He squealed, wrapping his arms around Blaine and hugged him tight. Blaine grinned. "So, will Blaine be there?" Kurt asked excitedly.

Blaine couldn't help but be a little disappointed. "He will be."

Kurt smiled. "Oh god, I look terrible. I can't let him see me like this.." he said before striding back to his room.

"You look fine, Kurt."

"I have to fix my hair." Kurt said, running his hands through the chestnut tresses.

Blaine just chuckled. "Alright."

Kurt did what he could with his hair and changed into the clothes he came in. He also grabbed his sunflower sprout, cradling it carefully in his hands.

"Are you ready?" Blaine asked softly.

"Yes.." Kurt smiled. Blaine lead Kurt outside and to his beat up car, opening the door for him. Kurt didn't get in, but wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and kissed him deeply. Blaine smiled against Kurt's lips, placing his hands on his slender waist.  
"Mmmm.." Kurt hummed, pulling away and licking his lips.

Blaine giggled. "You're so cute."

"Nuh uh.. " Kurt smiled, his lips brushing over Blaine's.

"Mhmm," Blaine grinned, kissing Kurt again. Kurt gave a soft moan and Blaine almost growled. He'd almost forgotten how much he missed the sound.

"Let's get home.." Blaine whispered. Kurt nodded, smiling at Blaine and climbing in the car. Blaine slid into the driver's seat and headed out for the long ride. Kurt kept his eyes outside, taking in the sights. "What do you think?" Blaine asked.

"It's so big!"

"Are you hungry?"

"Nope! " Kurt smiled. Blaine nodded, turning the radio on. Kurt bounced as a song he knew came on and he happily sang along. Blaine smiled as they headed home. It was about an hours drive and they finally made it. "Here we are."

Kurt looked up at the apartment building. "Oh Blaine.." he gasped. Blaine got out and opened Kurt's door, holding his hand as he got out. Kurt had a big smile on his face. "It's so perfect. "

"Really?" Blaine asked as they went inside.

"I love it.." Kurt whispered, in awe of the simple apartment.

"You want something to drink?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head as he walked around, examining every aspect of the new space. Blaine sat down on the couch and watched Kurt explore. His eyes were wide with excitement as he found Blaine's photo album.  
"Can I?.." He whispered, looking over at Blaine.

"Of course."

He slowly walked over to the couch and climbed on, sitting back on his haunches. He opened the book and smiled as he saw a few pictures of Blaine and Cooper when they were younger. Blaine leaned over, telling Kurt about each picture. He came to the picture of he and Kurt before they moved to New York.  
"Who is that?..Why is your arm around him?...Should I be jealous?" Kurt asked quickly as he pointed to himself.

"No baby. That was you a long time ago." Blaine explained.

Kurt quirked an eyebrow curiously. "Why don't I remember things?"

"I'm not sure. I think, maybe, since there are things you don't want to remember, other things are blocked out too."

"I remember that night..After West Side Story..When we went to your house and..well..You remember." Kurt giggled, pulling lightly on one of Blaine's curls and watching it spring back.

Blaine grinned. "I remember."

"I was so happy that night..I can't remember anything after that..I..ugh..I don't like this.." Kurt groaned.

"I know baby. It might come back though."

Kurt sighed, looking down. "I don't deserve you.."

"Why do you say that?" Blaine asked.

"Because..I'm..not right.." Kurt whispered.

"You don't remember some stuff. But most of the time, you know who I am. That's all I need, Kurt. I love you."

"How can you love me?..I'm not him.." Kurt said quietly, poining at himself in the picture.

"You are, Kurt." Blaine said seriously. "I will always love you."

"I love you too.." Kurt said shakily.

Blaine pulled Kurt close. "I wish you could see what I do."

"I don't even know who I am.."

"You're Kurt Hummel. You're going to get better. You were better enough to come stay a night with me. You can do this. Then we will get married."

Kurt sniffed, nodding.

"I love you."

"I love you so much.."

Blaine leaned in to kiss Kurt softly. Kurt returned the kiss, humming softy.  
"So perfect.." Blaine whispered. Kurt gave a weak smile. He had no idea how Blaine could think those things about him.

"What do you want to do while we're here?" Blaine asked.

"Anything is fine.."

"We could watch your old favorite movies and do take out. You used to love that."

"Sounds..g-good.." Kurt said, scratching his neck lightly. Blaine knew that look. He was trying to ignore Claude.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..I just..shut up..you weren't supposed to ruin this.."

"I'm everywhere you go, Kurt. You can't get rid of me." Claude laughed menacingly.

Kurt growled, reaching up to pull his hair. "I won't let you ruin this.." He whispered.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice." Claude said cockily.

Blaine turned and pulled Kurt closer, wrapping his arms around him. "Don't let him out, baby. I'm right here.. I'm with you."

Kurt focused on Blaine. The way Blaine smelled, the feel of his shirt, everything. Blaine kissed the side of his neck, trying to help. "Please let me have this.." Kurt whispered.

"He needs to know. He needs to know you're not the same person. You'll never be normal. He'll never be happy with you!"

Kurt whimpered, pulling his hair harder. "H-He says i'm perfect.."

"You are perfect," Blaine repeated.

"No.."

"Yes, Kurt. You're perfect for me."

Kurt bit his lip hard, before reaching to clutch to Blaine. Blaine rubbed up and down Kurt's back. "I love you. I love you so much."

"I-I...I love you too.."

"Try to shut him up, Kurt. Try to block him out. Just try.." Blaine said in Kurt's ear. "Remember...When we met.. I sent you that text. It said 'Courage'. You can do this, Kurt. Have courage."

"Courage?.." Kurt said quietly.

"Yes, baby. Courage. It's inside of you. You just have to find it." Blaine encouraged. Kurt nodded, trying to find the strength to clear his mind. He heard a faint voice coming from inside him. It was his mother. "Kurt.. You can do this."

Kurt pried his eyes open, looking up at Blaine. "I can do this.."

"You can." Blaine smiled.

Kurt took a few minutes to calm down. "I-I'm sorry.."

"Don't be." Blaine said softly.

"Kiss me.."

Blaine smiled as he leaned in to kiss Kurt. Kurt hummed softly, kissing Blaine back. Blaine brought a hand up and rested it on the back of Kurt's neck. Kurt brought a shaky hand up and let it lay on Blaine's as he traced his tongue over Blaine's lips. Blaine gasped softly, opening his lips for Kurt. Kurt slipped his tongue into Blaine's mouth and leaned against him. Blaine trailed his hands down to Kurt's hips and let out a quiet moan. Kurt returned the sound. This was the only time when he felt he was real. Nothing was on his mind but Blaine. He was the only thing that invaded his senses.Blaine pulled Kurt into his lap and growled in the back of his throat. Kurt gave a soft gasp, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck.  
"I love you so much.." Blaine whispered between kisses.

"I..love you too.." Kurt said just as quietly. "I want you..Blaine.."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked softly. Kurt nodded, despite the uncertainty that flickered in his eyes. "Just like last time. If we need to stop, tell me. It will be okay."

"Okay.." Kurt said, already cursing the whisper in the back of his head. Blaine lifted Kurt and carried him to his bedroom. He laid them down and slowly started to undress each other. Kurt kept his eyes open, watching how Blaine moved, how the fabric slid over his olive skin. Blaine kissed Kurt softly. "I love you."

"I love you too.." Kurt said quietly. Blaine brought a hand up ans cupped Kurt's cheek as he slicked himself up. Kurt ran his hands over Blaine's shoulders and back, pressing small kisses to his lips. He reached between them and traced his fingertips over Blaine's shaft, gasping quietly. Blaine smiled at the touch. "I've missed this."

"I...So did I..Wait..I want to.." He flipped them over, wrapping his hand around Blaine's length. Blaine gasped. His eyes darkened as he moaned. Kurt looked down at the thick flesh in his hands. He slowly ran his hand up and down, squeezing lightly. "Big.." He breathed out shakily.

"Mmm, Kurt.."

Kurt looked up at Blaine before leaning down to lick and kiss up his shaft. He cringed a bit at the taste of the lube, but the feel of Blaine on his lips and tongue was too good to resist. Blaine let his head drop back onto the pillows. "Kurt.."

Kurt pulled off. "Blaine..I need to see your face.."

Blaine scooted up the bed, sitting up slightly and smiling at his boyfriend. Kurt smiled back, leaning in to kiss him softly before going back down and sucking the head into his mouth. Blaine gasped, tangling his hands in his own hair. He slowly pushed his head down, taking Blaine to the hilt.

"Oh my god.." Blaine breathed out. Kurt hummed softly, swallowing around him. Blaine let out a small whine of pleasure as he looked at Kurt with lust-filled eyes. Kurt pulled off, climbing up Blaine's body. "You're so sexy, Kurt." Blaine whispered, their lips almost touching.

Kurt smiled, "Really?.."

Blaine nodded. "Very."

Kurt blushed, leaning in to kiss Blaine deeply. Blaine moaned, pulling Kurt closer.  
"Please..I need..Blaine.."

Blaine nodded, rolling his hips up. Kurt moaned deeply, tugging on Blaine's curls. Blaine spread Kurt before lowering him. Kurt gasped harshly. "Blaine..." He whispered shakily.

"Oh fuck, Kurt.."

Kurt looked down at Blaine. "I..I..love you.."

"I love you too.. So much.." Blaine whispered. Kurt leaned down, kissing Blaine sweetly before he began to rock his hips. Blaine rested his hands on Kurt's hips, moaning his boyfriend's name. Kurt let out a loud whine at the sound, threading his fingers through the thick, dark curls on his lover's head. "Blaine..I want your hands on me like this forever..Y-You make me so...ah..happy.."

Blaine rocked his body with Kurt's. "So do you, baby.."

Kurt's moans grew louder, as he sat up, running his hands down Blaine's chest. Blaine gasped, tilting his head back. "Blaine..Blaine!" Kurt moaned. Blaine rolled his hips with Kurt's movements. Kurt gasped harshly, his mind blank as he lost himself in the pleasure.  
"Kurt.. Oh Kurt.."

They moved together, panting harshly. It almost felt.. normal. Blaine gave a needy whine as he thrust up harder. Kurt gasped sharply, beginning to bounce himself on Blaine's member. "Ohgod..Ah! Yes!"

Blaine's eyes darkened further as he watched Kurt ride him, reveling in his moans.  
"Blaine...ungh..F-Fuck me.." Kurt panted. Blaine saw his cheeks get even darker at the the word and his teeth kneaded his perfect, pink bottom lip.

"Shit, Kurt! So fucking sexy.." Blaine moaned loudly.

Kurt gave a small cry as Blaine grabbed his hips and thrust up. "Ah! Oh, righthere! Ungh!"

Blaine continued to thrust up, hitting that spot every time. Kurt couldn't handle it, it only took about three more thrusts before he was coming undone. His back arched and his mouth hung open as he came across Blaine's chest. Blaine gave a low grunt as he spilled himself inside Kurt. Kurt trembled, his hands lightly twitching on Blaine's chest as he came down. The younger laced their fingers together, panting heavily.

"Blaine.."

Blaine gave a sated smile as he slowly stroked Kurt's side.

"I love you.."

"I love you too."

Kurt pulled off and rested his head on Blaine's chest. They laid there like that before falling asleep in each others arms.

Blaine woke up in the middle of the night and Kurt wasn't in the bed. He panicked, getting up and going to look for him. He looked in every room and he was nowhere to be found until Blaine looked to the balcony. Kurt was standing in one of Blaine's button-ups and nothing more. He was leaning over the railing, gazing down at the busy streets. Blaine sighed heavily as he opened the door. "Baby?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked as he wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind.

Kurt simply nodded.

"What are you thinking about?"

"When will I get to stay here with you?.."

"I don't know.. I wish you could stay." Blaine whispered.

"So do I...Can we go get married? "

"You want to get married now?" Blaine asked softly.

"I'll always want to get married to you." Kurt said, sitting up.

Blaine bit his lip. "Stay right here. I'll be back."

Kurt looked up. "Where are you going?..."

"My room." Blaine said before going inside. It took a few minutes before he came back, looking nervous. "I bought this when we used to live together." He said. He got down on one knee and held up a small black box. Inside was a beautiful silver band with emeralds. "I know diamonds are traditional. But these are rare.. L-Like what we have. So, Kurt Hummel.. Will you accept this ring to be my husband?"

Kurt gasped softly. "Blaine..Of course..." He whispered. "Yes..."

Blaine stood, sliding the ring on Kurt's finger. "You want to go down to the courthouse? Its not that late.."

Kurt pulled Blaine close, kissing him deeply.

Blaine melted against Kurt. "I love you more than anything, Kurt.."

"Blaine...I-I know I want this...but. Are you sure you do?.."

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't have held onto this." Blaine said seriously. "You're all I want."

Kurt smiled, tears welling up in his eyes as he wrung his fingers. "Blaine...Blaine..I.."

"You want to?" Blaine asked, grinning. Kurt smiled wide, nodding. They got dressed and headed out.

They went to the Justice of the peace and it was simple. The court provided witnesses and they exchanged vows. Kurt had a bit of trouble, tripping over his words and getting a bit confused, but Blaine knee what he was trying to say. As soon as they were told to, Kurt threw his arms around Blaine and kissed him deeply. Blaine smiled into the kiss, holding Kurt close.  
"I love you so much.." Kurt smiled. "I love you.."

"I'm so in love with you." Blaine said, tears in his eyes.

Kurt smiled wide. "Let's go home.."

Blaine nodded, kissing Kurt again before picking his husband up and carrying out the door. When they got back, they laid in bed, cuddling and kissing softly.  
"Thank you." Blaine whispered.

"For what?.." Kurt said, just as quietly.

"Tonight.. It's so perfect.."

"We're married.."

"We are.."

"I never thought this would actually happen.." Kurt whispered. "I just always thought I was gonna be alone and stuck there and crazy..Well..I still am..Just a little less...But I'm your husband...And you..I love you.." Kurt said.

"You're not crazy. You're my beautiful husband that I am completely in love with."

Kurt grinned wide, leaning in to kiss his husband. "You're perfect.." he whispered.

"So are you baby."

The older man rested his head on Blaine's chest, tracing his fingers through the hair there before slowly falling asleep.

The next morning, Blaine got up and cooked them a big breakfast. They spent the day together, laughing and enjoying marriage. Kurt had gotten into the habit of wearing Blaine's button up, and nothing else. He loved it and it made him feel like Blaine was always holding him because it smelled like his cologne. It was almost time to leave and Blaine was trying to get Kurt dressed.

"You should keep that shirt. You look...really good in it.." Blaine said, biting his lip.

"Really?" Kurt smiled, cocking his hips to the side slightly.

"Mmm, yeah.."

Kurt bit his lip and began walking down the hall, swinging his hips slightly.

"You can't even imagine what it makes me want to do." Blaine said lowly, following Kurt.

Kurt smiled, turning around. "Why don't you show me?.."

Blaine raised an eyebrow as his eyes darkened. He grabbed Kurt by his hips, roughly pressing him against the wall.

Kurt gasped, his heartbeat beginning to pound like a hammer as he squeezed his eyes shut. A dark alley, strange breath on his skin. Lips. Hands. Invading. Pushing, ripping. Stealing. Kurt tried to fight but the man was too strong. No one heard his screams as he was slammed against the brick, forced to look into his eyes. The eyes he'd never forget. Kurt screamed, trying to push Blaine off of him.  
"NO! Stop! Stop please!" He yelled.

Blaine immediately pulled back. "Baby? What happened? What's wrong?"

Kurt crumpled into a ball on the floor before trying to scoot away from Blaine. "D-Don't touch me! Go away!"

"Kurt.. It's me. It's Blaine.."

"Don't!..Don't.." Kurt had his head between his knees, sobbing harshly as he pulled his hair. Blaine backed up, his eyes with with fear. what had he done? Kurt was shaking, whimpering softly as he huddled into a corner. "B-Blaine...Blaine...Blaine.."

Blaine crouched down, making sure not to get too close. "I'm right here, baby. Blaine's here.."

Kurt peeked out a bit, his eyes filled with fear and tears.

"It's just me. It's safe. I promise.."

"O-okay.." Kurt whispered, lifting his head more.

"It's okay. Slowly baby.. It'll be okay." Blaine encouraged.

Kurt took a few deep breaths. "What..What just happened?"

Blaine shook his head. "I don't know.."

Kurt closed his eyes. "I-I'm sorry.."

"Don't be. I shouldn't have.." Blaine said quietly. "Come on. I have to get you back."

Kurt looked down, tears filling his eyes. Whatever just happened, it made Blaine not want to touch him anymore.  
"O-okay.." he said, slowly standing on shaky legs. Blaine got Kurt's things together, fighting tears as they headed back. Kurt sat as far away from Blaine on the ride back, huddled against the car door and sniffling quietly. This is not what he thought marriage was supposed to be like.. They got back and got Kurt checked in. Blaine walked Kurt to his room and kissed the top of his head. "I love you.."

Kurt looked down, scratching lightly at his wrist. "I love you too.." he whispered.

"I have work.. I'll come back tomorrow.." Blaine said, looking anywhere but at Kurt.

"I'm sorry whatever I did, I'm sorry..I won't wear your shirts like that a-anymore and..I-I'm sorry I cried..I'm sorry. I just forget sometimes. I won't forget.. and..I just.." Kurt's breathing was rapid. He was shaking and digging his nails into his skin. "I'll be better..I-I'll be better.."

Blaine swallowed his tears and slowly wrapped his arms around Kurt. "You didn't do anything, Kurt. I did."

"No..No...I'm wrong..I'm wrong..I'm wrong.." Kurt got out, his voice slowly raising. "You..I can't be there..I'm sick..I'm wrong..I'm disgusting!"

"No you're not! If you were, I would not have married you. I fucked up." Blaine said seriously.

"You didn't do anything! You didn't!" Kurt clawed down his forearms and began whispering harshly to himself. Blaine couldn't really make it out, but gasped as he remembered, Kurt hadn't taken his medicine. He quickly ran to get a nurse before coming back and trying to calm Kurt. Kurt was huddled Back against the wall, sobbing heavily. His arms were bleeding a bit and he was still whispering. He wouldn't look at Blaine, keeping his head tilted down.  
"She's almost here baby.. Just hold on.." Blaine whispered.

"You can't stay with him he'll hurt you..He'll hurt you or himself..One of you will end up dead.." Kurt growled darkly.

"Kurt.. what're talking about..?"

"Blaine..You tried but you can't deal with this. You're too fragile to have the violent instability.."

"You're wrong."

Claude chuckled, looking up at Blaine with that menacing glare "He is weak..How do you think I got out?..He can't stop me without the drugs.."

Just then, the nurse came in with sedatives and Kurt's medicine. Claude glared at her, slowly backing away. Two men stepped in first, each grabbing an arm as she gave Kurt the shot. He thrashed a bit before he looked up at Blaine with confused eyes and slowly faded into sleep.

Blaine sighed to himself, deciding to call into work and wait for Kurt to wake up. He laid in the bed with him, stroking his hair as the nurses bandaged his arms and left. Kurt slowly woke up almost two hours later. He looked up at Blaine. "You're still here?.."

Blaine nodded. "I couldn't leave you like that after last night.." he said, lacing their hands together.

"Last night?.."

Blaine held Kurt's ring finger up and kissed it. "Mhm.."

"When did I get that?.." kurt whispered.

"Last night. We got married.. You don't remember..?" Blaine asked, his eyes wide with fear. Kurt sat up, confused. He looked between Blaine and his ring. "Kurt, please remember.."

"What are you talking about?..We aren't married.." Kurt said seriously.

"I-I'm gonna..go.." Blaine whispered as his heart broke.

"Wait.." Kurt said, his eyebrows kneading together.

"What?.."

"I know you..But..I'm sorry.."

"You did nothing wrong.."

Kurt nodded, looking ashamed.

"I'll see you tomorrow.." Blaine bit back his tears as he walked out.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks to everyone that reads this. This has come so much further than we imagined. And it's all because of you all : D. Also, a big thanks to imgoingtohell for the first song idea in this chapter!

Blaine didn't go see Kurt for a couple of days after that day. He couldn't believe Kurt forgot they were married. Something he'd wanted for so long. It was all he'd ever asked Blaine for and he couldn't even remember it.  
One night after work, Blaine got on his computer and saw an email from Finn, asking for an update on Kurt. He responded, telling him what he needed to know and asking if Finn had told Rachel yet. He got a response a few minutes later saying Finn wasn't sure if Rachel should know. Blaine sighed heavily before typing back. "If you don't, I'm sorry but I will talk to her. She deserves to know, Finn."  
Before he even got a response he sent an email to Rachel, explaining everything. It didn't take long for the little bit of guilt to sit in. Blaine went to lie down when his phone rang with a call from her.  
"Hello?"

 

Rachel sounded as if she had been crying as she quickly began to speak. "Blaine Anderson, if this is a joke, it isn't funny!"

 

"It's not, Rachel.. I'm sorry you didn't know.."

 

Rachel was quiet for a minute, trying to catch her breath. "Why?..Why didn't anyone?.."

 

"Finn was scared to tell you. Please don't be mad at him. Kurt's been through a lot.." Blaine said softly.

 

"I have to see him.."

 

"Are you sure you can handle it..? It's bad, Rachel.."

 

"How bad?..He's still Kurt..H-He's still my best friend.."

 

Blaine sighed before telling her everything except what caused this.

 

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. This couldn't be happening to Kurt..Strong, confident, happy Kurt..   
"I'm coming." She said seriously.

 

"Alright.. Just let me know when you'll be here and I'll pick you up."

 

She nodded. "I'll email you...And Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah..?"

 

"Thank you...For being there for him...I know it's probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do..But..He needs someone..And I'm glad its you.."

 

Blaine's breath caught. "T-Thank you, Rachel.."

 

"I'll see you when I come up..Bye Blaine. ." Rachel said before hanging up.

 

Blaine sighed heavily as he laid back down. He knew how hard it would be, but he had to go see Kurt before she came. He needed to make sure Kurt knew he wasn't leaving.   
Just before he fell asleep, Blaine got a call coming in from the hospital. His heart raced as he saw the number. "H-Hello?.."

 

"Blaine.." It was Raleigh. "Kurt just attacked a nurse.."

 

"What?" He asked, sitting up. "Why?"

 

"He tried to take his ring off..I guess he's been hiding it, but we aren't allowed to have jewelry. .The nurse saw it and tried to get him to take it off..He just went ballistic..."

 

"Oh my god.. C-Can he have visitors?" Blaine asked as that guilt feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. He felt like he couldn't do anything right.

 

"I don't know..I'm sure they'll let you come now..I think he's calmed down.." Raleigh said.

 

"I'll be there soon.."

 

"Okay. Bye, Blaine."

 

Blaine said bye before getting up to get dressed and go see Kurt.

 

The woman at the front desk recognized Blaine and let him go in despite the fact that visiting hours were over. She knew why he was here. He walked back to Kurt's room to find him restrained to the bed, staring up at the ceiling with his left hand clenching and relaxing over and over. There was a deep scratch on his cheek that was still fresh along with some blood that Blaine assumed wasn't his own on his hands.  
"Hey.." Blaine said quietly. He grabbed a Kleenex and got it a little wet from his tongue. He carefully brought it up to Kurt's cheek and dabbed at the blood. "I'm sorry.."

 

Kurt didn't say anything, keeping his eyes trained on the ceiling as his fist clenched again.

 

"I feel terrible." Blaine whispered, mostly to himself. "I should've known they wouldn't let you have it. I shouldn't have stayed home. I-I was hurt.. But it's not your fault.. I just feel so... so stupid.. I'm sorry, Kurt.."

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine. "It's been a long time."

 

"I know.. I'm sorry. I just needed to calm down.."

 

"Why?"

 

Blaine looked down. "You forgot..a-about the wedding.."

 

"Oh no, sweetie..I was married a long time ago..Long before you were born.." Kurt whispered, shaking his head.

 

"What? Kurt..?"

 

"Kurt?..No..I believe his name was Francis..Sweet man..Very..." Kurt trailed off, staring at the ceiling again. "He left me.."

 

"Who are you?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I believe we've met.." Eleanor said. "But I doubt you would remember..I don't blame you..I'm not much to remember.."

 

"No, I remember. Why did he leave?"

 

"Everyone leaves.."

 

"I don't think that's true."

 

"Why not?.." She asked, looking up at him.

 

"Because some people want to stay." Blaine said.

 

She sighed, looking back to the ceiling. "Eventually. .Everyone leaves.." she said before her eyes faded to gray and she was gone. Blaine sighed, wondering who would be there next. Kurt didn't say anything for a long time, simply clenching and unclenching his fist again.

 

Blaine turned and sat beside Kurt as he started to sing.  
"Made a wrong turn once or twice  
Dug my way out, blood and fire  
Bad decisions, that's alright  
Welcome to my silly life  
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
Miss 'No way, it's all good'  
It didn't slow me down.  
Mistaken, always second guessing  
Underestimated, look I'm still around  
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than, less than perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.."

 

Kurt's hand stopped moving as his eyes drifted to his husband.

 

"You're so mean when you talk  
About yourself. You were wrong.." Blaine stopped as he saw Kurt.  
"Change the voices in your head  
Make them like you instead.."

 

Kurt's eyes began to fill with tears as he pulled lightly against his restraints.

 

"So complicated, look how we all made it  
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game  
It's enough, I've done all I can think of  
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same..  
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel  
Like you're less than, less than perfect  
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.." Blaine sang, petting Kurt's hair before finishing.   
"You're perfect, you're perfect  
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.."

 

Kurt's restraints only made his tears come more freely as he fought to get to Blaine.

 

"Shh, baby, it's okay.." Blaine said, cupping Kurt's cheek.

 

"Can you please?..Please.." Kurt whispered, looking up at his wrists.

 

"I'll ask a nurse," Blaine said as he got up.

 

Kurt looked distressed as Blaine stood. "D-Don't go.."

 

"What about your wrists?"

 

Kurt sighed, looking down.

 

"I'll just go to the door. I won't leave." Blaine promised. He walked to the door and luckily there was a nurse down the call. Blaine called for him and asked him if they could take Kurt's restraints off. He nodded, asking if he was sure Kurt was okay.

 

"I'm sure." Blaine said and followed the nurse into the room. He walked up to Kurt and unbound his ankles and then his wrists. "Feeling better?" He asked softly. Kurt nodded and looked to Blaine. The shorter man sat back down on the bed and took Kurt's hand.

 

"If you need anything just call.."   
The nurse left and Kurt wrapped himself around Blaine, kissing him deeply. Blaine returned the kiss and lied down with his husband. Kurt rested his body on top on top of Blaine's, moaning softly.

 

"Kurt.." Blaine whispered. "Are you okay?"

 

"I just missed you so much.." Kurt got out shakily. "I'm s-sorry I forgot, I just want you to stay.."

 

"I'm here. I'm not leaving. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I was scared.."

 

"Of me?. " Kurt asked quietly.

 

"Not exactly." Blaine sighed. "Of you forgetting that we're married. Or that you'd remember what happened before we left my house.."

 

Kurt sat up, looking confused. "Blaine..That was just..It happens.."

"It was my fault." Blaine interrupted. "I stopped being careful. I wasn't thinking."

 

Kurt hushed him with a kiss. "It's okay.." He whispered before looking down at the blood on his hands and frowning.

 

"Hey, come here," Blaine said, pulling Kurt closer. "It's late. Try to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

 

"I'm gonna wash my hands.." Kurt said, standing and walking to the small half bathroom connected to the room. Blaine curled up in the bed as he waited. Kurt came back out without his shirt on and climbed back in bed with Blaine, nuzzling into his neck.

 

"I love you, Kurt.."

 

"I love you too.."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt softly and tried to fall asleep.

 

The next day Blaine woke up to Kurt's wide eyes staring back at him.

 

"Babe?" He asked groggily.

 

"Hm?.."

 

"What're you doing?"

 

"You look really beautiful when you sleep."

 

Blaine blushed lightly. "Thank you.."

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too, gorgeous. How are you feeling?"

 

"Sore.." Kurt said softly, toying with Blaine's curls. "I miss my ring too.."

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about you not being able to have one here.."

 

"I knew.." Kurt shrugged. "I..I don't remember what happened after he grabbed my hand.."

 

"It's okay. Its over now and as soon as you get to leave, you'll never have to take your ring off." Blaine said softly.

 

"When can I leave?.."

 

"I don't know baby. But guess what? I'll have a surprise for you in a few days. A big one."

 

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Really?"

 

Blaine nodded. "Yup. I hope you like it."

 

Kurt grinned, bouncing.

 

Blaine leaned in to kiss his husband. "You're so cute."

 

Kurt simply shook his head.

 

Blaine went home that night. Kurt was good all day. He took his medicine and just stayed close to his husband all day. Maybe with him being there, Kurt wouldn't have as many outbreaks. Blaine couldn't wait for Rachel to get there. There were so many things he needed to talk about but he couldn't tell Kurt. He tried going to work every day but with how much attention Kurt was needing, he barely had time for anything. He called out three to four times a week. His bills were barely getting paid. His boss was being as understanding as he could and Blaine was extremely grateful, but there was just too much. He knew he was only so much his boss could let him miss. He barely had enough money for rent, let alone food. He was losing weight like crazy. Blaine was surprised Kurt hadn't noticed. But he definitely wasn't ready to explain that.  
He drove to the airport the day Rachel was coming and waited for her at the terminal. She grinned as she saw Blaine. "Hey!"

 

"Hey.." Blaine grinned, letting her pull him into a hug.

 

"It's been way too long." she sighed.

 

"It has.." He said quietly. He must have looked terrible. Stress was wearing away at him.

 

They were walking out to the car when Rachel finally taking in Blaine's appearance. "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine.." Blaine said, giving her a weak smile.

 

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

 

"Yeah." Blaine said quickly, opening the door for her.

 

"Well, just know I'm here if you want to talk."

 

"Thanks..."

 

"Anytime, Blaine. So, what have you been up to?"

 

"Just work..And visiting Kurt.."

 

"Does he know I'm here?" Rachel asked.

 

"I told him I had a surprise for him.." Blaine explained.

 

Rachel nodded, remaining silent for a few minutes. "How is he..?"

 

"He had a bad day the day before yesterday. .But he was really good yesterday.." Blaine said as they drove.

 

"Can I ask how this happened..?"

 

"Can I ask how this happened..?"

 

"Um..I don't think i'm at liberty to say.." Blaine sighed.

 

"I understand.."

 

Blaine nodded. "You want to head over there first?.."

 

"Please."

 

Blaine nodded again, driving to the hospital. Rachel got more and more nervous as they came to a stop and Blaine parked the car.   
"Do you think he'll remember me?"

 

"I think so. It took him a minute but he remembered Finn.." Blaine said softly.

 

"I can't believe Finn didn't tell me.."

 

"He was trying to protect you.."

 

"But Kurt needs us." Rachel said seriously.

 

"I know..But you're here now.." Blaine said as they got out of the car and walked inside. They got signed in and walked to Kurt's room.  
"Wait out here." He said to Rachel before going inside. "Hey Kurt."

 

Kurt was picking at the scab on his cheek as he looked up at Blaine.

 

"How are you?" Blaine asked softly.

 

"I had a dream that we had kids..I loved them. ." Kurt said quietly.

 

Blaine smiled. "They would be perfect."

 

"They were.." Kurt said softly.

 

"Are you ready for your surprise?"

 

Kurt grinned, sitting up. "Yes."

 

Blaine went out and got Rachel. She gasped as she saw Kurt's thin, pale frame. He looked so fragile. "Hey Kurt.."

 

Kurt squeezed his hands into fists and inhaled sharply. "Get out.."

 

"Wh-What? Kurt.. I-It's me.. Rachel.." The brunette said frantically.

 

"Get out...Get out..Get out!" Kurt yelled, grabbing fistfulls of his hair.

 

"Rachel, please. I'll calm him down." Blaine said, hurrying to Kurt's side. "Baby.. Shh, it's okay.."

 

Rachel ignored Blaine, stepping closer to him.  
"Don't touch me!" Kurt growled.

 

"Rachel! Please!" Blaine almost yelled. Rachel pulled Kurt into a hug and Blaine gasped as Kurt panted harshly but didn't move. Blaine pulled Rachel away. "You don't know what he's been through! Give me a damn minute alone." He spat.

 

"Rachel.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Yes, it's me." Rachel said softly. "It's me, Kurt."

 

"Wh-Where have you been?.." Kurt asked, looking up at her.

 

"Ohio. You wouldn't return my phone calls.. I missed you so much.." Rachel said through teary eyes.

 

Kurt didn't say anything, looking into her eyes.

 

Rachel grasped Kurt's hands. "I thought I had lost my best friend.."

 

Kurt looked down at their hands. "You did.." He whispered.

 

"But I know where you are now. We can talk on the phone all the time," She said in a hopeful tone.

 

"I'm not..the same person.."

 

"Then we can get to know each other again. I don't care where I am or where you are. I just want my best friend back."

 

Kurt looked up at her and then to Blaine.

 

"Are you okay..?" Blaine asked his husband.

 

"Yeah..I just..Not used to this.."

 

"Used to what?"

 

"People caring..O-Other than you.."

 

"I care. Kurt, I had no idea what happened to you. Finn didn't want to hurt me by telling me. God.. I cried for so long just from missing you. No one has ever filled that best friend role like you. No one ever could." Rachel said.

 

"Thank you. ." Kurt whispered.

 

The brunette smiled warmly. "Any time."

 

Blaine was amazed how normal Kurt was acting around Rachel. He was almost jealous. How could Rachel just come and have it this easy with him when Blaine had been struggling for months?

 

Rachel sat down on the floor and began to talk to Kurt, filling him in on her life back in Ohio. He just watched her, nodding and understanding. He even asked a few questions.

 

"I-I'm going to get a drink.." Blaine said after a few minutes. He needed a minute alone.

 

Blaine sighed as he walked down the hallway to the cafeteria. He wasn't sure if he should've left them alone, but he just didn't know how to feel. He had been working so hard for this. To help Kurt. But Rachel seemed to make more progress in ten minutes than Blaine had since he came back. He grabbed a coffee and sat at a table alone, sighing softly.

 

Raleigh came up a few minutes later. "Hey Blaine!"

 

"Hey.." Blaine said, giving her a weak smile.

 

"Are you okay?" She asked, sitting down.

 

"Yeah..Just..Kurt's friend is visiting..And..He's just acting so normal..I mean, don't get me wrong. That's great..But..In a few minutes he seems more comfortable around her than me.."

 

"It's the first time he's seeing her, right?" Raleigh asked.

 

"Yeah. He started to get anxious when she first showed up, but.Then it was like nothing." Blaine sighed.

 

"Well, maybe he's just trying that much harder to seem like nothing's wrong. I mean, they're old friends. With you, he loves you. You're here all the time. Maybe he just doesn't want her to see it."

 

"Maybe.." Blaine said quietly, stirring his coffee slowly.

 

Raleigh rubbed Blaine's back softly. "It'll be okay, Blaine. Kurt loves you."

 

"I know.." Blaine smiled. "Thanks Raleigh.."

 

She nodded. "I got to see that ring before they took it. It's beautiful.."

 

"Thanks..I'm trying to get him home so he can wear it all day." Blaine said as Kurt and Rachel walked into the cafeteria.

 

Kurt sat down next to his husband. "I'm kind of hungry.."

 

"You want me to get you something, baby?.." Blaine asked softly.

 

"Please."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek and walked off to get him some lunch.

 

"Do you like it here?" Rachel asked.

 

"Mhm." Kurt smiled, tapping his fingers on the table. "Raleigh's nice."

 

"Hi." Raleigh said, giving a small smile.

 

"Hi, I'm Rachel Hudson.." Rachel smiled.

 

"Nice to meet you.."

 

Kurt smiled, tracing patterns in the table.

 

"Do you ever get to leave? Or go outside?" Rachel asked.

 

"We have a garden." Kurt said softly.

 

Rachel nodded. She felt terrible Kurt was in here.

 

"I have a sunflower growing out there..Blaine gave me the seed..It got too big for the pot, so the nurses helped me plant it outside." Kurt sighed, looking out the window.

 

"Do you want to show me after you eat?" Rachel asked. "I bet it's beautiful."

 

Kurt nodded as Blaine came back and handed him a tray. Kurt sighed, pulling his hair and making quiet shushing noises.

 

Rachel looked to Blaine before back at Kurt. "Are you okay?"

 

Kurt just closed his eyes. "Shut up.." He whispered.

 

Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt. "Do you want to go to your room?"

 

Kurt shook his head, whispering under his breath and gripping Blaine's shirt with his free hand. Blaine picked him up and told Rachel he'd be back. Kurt let himself be carried to the room and pressed his face into Blaine's chest.

 

"Don't listen, Kurt. Push them away." Blaine said softly.

 

"I don't want her to see..." Kurt whimpered.

 

"I know baby.. It's okay. She's in the cafeteria." Blaine gently laid Kurt on the bed and held him close. "What are they saying?"

 

"They're telling me to hurt myself..I-I don't want to..I don't want her to see...I don't..I don't want you t-to see..Fuck.." Kurt was shaking in Blaine's arms.

 

"Don't do it, Kurt. You can fight him. You're stronger than you think baby. I'm here for you. I love you. You don't have to listen to them."

 

"..I-I..Ungh.." Kurt gasped. "I hate you..I'm not afraid of you.."

 

"That's it baby.. You can do this."

 

Kurt pulled away from Blaine, sitting up and rocking before he stopped and his eyes went vacant.

 

Blaine sat up, not wanting to reach out just yet. "Kurt?"

 

Kurt's eyes went dark and he smiled over at Blaine. "That was easy.." Claude chuckled.

 

"Fuck you, Claude." Blaine growled, getting up and slamming Kurt's door before heading to get a nurse. He certainly wasn't in the mood for Claude.

 

Blaine sighed as he heard the footsteps behind him and the thick French accent. "Blaine, where are you going? I'll be good, I promise." He laughed.

 

Blaine didn't respond as he kept walking.

 

Claude just laughed louder, walking up to Blaine and putting an arm around his shoulder. "Awee you don't like me, joli garçon?"  
(Pretty boy)

 

Blaine shrugged him off. "Get off me."

 

"Oh don't be like that.." Claude chuckled. "I'm being good, no?"

 

"Just annoying."

 

"Well, I am not going anywhere. .I think I'll stay out for a while..It's nice to stretch my legs after being stuck in you're boyfriend's fucked up mind.." Claude sighed dramatically. "I'm in the mood for some lunch." He grinned, turning on his heel and walking towards the cafeteria. Blaine sped up to get a nurse just in case. He didn't want Rachel to see this. Claude walked into the cafeteria and grinned as he saw Rachel, sitting in his previous seat.

 

"Be careful." Raleigh whispered.

 

"What?.." Rachel asked, turning to Raleigh before eyeing Kurt. He didn't seem himself.

 

"So I cannot come eat lunch with the two of you?" Claude asked, placing his hand over his heart and pretending to be hurt.

 

"Kurt? Why are you talking like that?" Rachel asked.

 

Claude just laughed and Raleigh turned to Rachel. "That's not Kurt."

 

"Then who are you?"

 

"Claude Damion.." The alter smiled, picking up his fork. "Heureux de vous rencontrer.."  
(Pleased to meet you.)

 

"Are you the only one that can come out?" Rachel asked Claude.

 

Claude shook his head as he began to eat.  
"He has Claude, Elizabeth, And Eleanor. ." Raleigh explained.  
"But I'm the best." Claude chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows at Rachel.

 

"I'm sure you are," Rachel said sarcastically. "Elizabeth? As in Kurt's mother?" she asked as Blaine and a nurse came in. Blaine sat down as the nurse stayed at the door and watched.

 

Raleigh nodded lightly.

 

"Slut." Claude spat at the mention of Elizabeth.

 

Rachel's jaw dropped. She was about to protest when Blaine grabbed her arm. "Don't."

 

Claude laughed loudly. "No, let her speak!"

 

"She was not a slut. Mrs. Hummel was a beautiful and caring wife and mother." Rachel said firmly.

 

"That's why she got knocked up at eighteen. You do not have to live with her. All day long. 'Blah blah blah, don't kill my son'." Claude mocked before laughing again. Rachel's eyes went wide for a moment before she controlled herself. She hadn't thought Claude would be that violent.  
"Oh don't act so surprised...I do a lot of damage to my little Kurt..Isn't that right Blaine?.." Claude smiled, leaning against Blaine.

 

Blaine sighed as he scooted away. "I really can't stand you."

 

"And why is that?.." Claude grinned.

 

"You're annoying and hurting Kurt. I will find a way to beat this. And you'll be gone forever. Can't wait."

 

"Oh, I'm sure you don't mean that.." Claude said, leaning over to kiss Blaine's neck .

 

Blaine groaned, getting up and sitting across from Claude. He couldn't push him away since he'd just use that as an image to hurt Kurt.

 

Claude shook his head, laughing. "God, he is so weak I can hear him fighting..trying to get out..He's calling for you Blaine..Just like that night.."

 

"What night?" Rachel asked.  
"Don't worry about it, Rachel. Can he hear what's going on out here?" Blaine asked.

 

"He won't remember.." Claude said dismissively. "And why don't you tell her Blaine?..Tell her what you did..Why it's your fault.."

 

"It wasn't my fault. It wasn't Kurt's either." Blaine said. He wouldn't let Claude get to him.

 

"Blaine..What is he talking about?.." Rachel asked.

 

"It isn't my business to tell." Blaine said seriously.

 

"Go ahead. Tell her Blaine.." Claude said, giving his sinister grin.

 

"Kurt wouldn't want me to."

 

"Kurt wouldn't want me to do this.." Claude said, grabbing his fork and rai sing it to stab himself in the arm. Rachel shreiked before Blaine jumped over the table and caught his wrist. They fell to the floor and Blaine pinned Claude down as the nurse came running over. Before the nurse made it over Kurt looked up at Blaine with scared eyes. "B-Blaine?.."

 

"He's okay," Blaine said. "He's gone."

 

"Wh-What's going on?.."

 

"Claude came out and tried to hurt you."

 

Tears quickly gathered in Kurt's eyes and he tried to pull away from Blaine.

 

"Kurt, its okay.."

 

"N-no..No it's not.." Kurt whimpered.

 

Blaine hugged Kurt close. "I'm here baby.. We stopped him.."

 

"She's gonna be afraid of me.."

 

"She won't. She was scared of him hurting you. Rachel's not afraid of you. Come on. we'll get you some water and calm down. Rachel will still be here."

 

Kurt nodded as Blaine helped him up. "O-okay.."

 

Blaine got Kurt some water and walked him to his room.

 

Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck, crying softly. "I-I thought...I had this under control.."

 

"I know baby. You will. I promise." Blaine said reassuringly.

 

"C-Can..Can we go to the piano?..."

 

"Of course," Blaine said softly, holding his husband's hand as they walked. Kurt sat at the piano, his eyes red from crying.  
"What do you want to play?"

 

Kurt shrugged, tapping at the keys absently. Blaine leaned over and kissed Kurt's cheek. "I love you. You know that, right? No matter what."

 

Kurt nodded, sniffing lightly. "I wish..We could still..Be normal. .I have dreams...Of what our life would be like if I wasn't like this.."

 

"Me too. But it is this way and I plan to make the best of it with my husband.

 

Kurt shook his head as he started to play a melody slowly. He spoke quietly.  
" There was a time when love was blind..  
And the world was a song..  
And the song was exciting..  
There was a time..  
Then it all went.. wrong.."

 

Blaine sat back and watched Kurt. He knew the song but tried to just focus on his husband's voice.

 

Kurt played slowly before beginning to sing.  
"I dreamed a dream in time gone by..  
When hope was high, and life worth living..  
I dreamed that love would never die..  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving..  
Then I was young and unafraid..  
And dreams were made and used and wasted..  
There was no ransom to be paid.  
No song unsung, no wine untasted.."

 

Blaine bit his lip, fighting the swelling of his heart.

 

"But the tigers come at night..  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they tear your hope apart  
As they turn your dream to shame.."  
Kurt sang loud and clear before his voice wavered on the last note and a tear slipped down his cheek.  
"And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather..."

 

The younger man couldn't hold back any longer. He turned so Kurt couldn't see him and let his tears out. Blaine felt weak and hated himself for not keeping it in. Kurt didn't need to see his tears.

 

"I had a dream my life would be..  
So different from this hell I'm living!   
So different now from what it seemed..  
Now life.. has killed the dream..  
I dreamed.."  
Kurt barely whispered the last line, his voice trembling as he tapped out the last notes.

 

Without turning, Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand. "I-I.. I-I'm so sorry, Kurt.."

 

Kurt couldn't speak. He simply squeezed Blaine's hand as he rested his head on his husband's shoulder. His body shook with suppressed sobs, the only sounds that escaped him were tiny gasps and sniffs.

 

Blaine felt like the world's worst husband. Just one little drive. That's all it would've taken for none of this to happen. He turned and wrapped himself around Kurt, hugging him as tightly as he could.

 

"I love you.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Do you blame me..?" Blaine said so quietly Kurt almost didn't hear.

 

"No.." Kurt said, pressing his forehead to Blaine's. "No.."

 

"Not at all..?"

 

"He doesn't blame you.." Elizabeth said softly, stroking Blaine's hair.

 

"I do.." Blaine said through his tears. "I could've prevented it.."

 

"You had no way of knowing..He walked home every day..The routine never changed.."

 

"I-I want to help him..g-get better.. I just feel like...I-I'm making it worse.."

 

Elizabeth held him, rubbing up and down his back, humming softly. Blaine cried against Kurt's body. He had kept this in for far too long.

 

"I'm here..It's okay.." She whispered, kissing his forehead. "You aren't making him worse.."

 

Blaine finally looked up. "Does he have a weakness?.. Claude?"

 

"He comes out when Kurt is afraid, or angry..He scares him by whispering to him that he's going to kill him, or you..All kinds of..terrible things..But..Kurt tries to think of you to keep him away..It usually works..But Claude's getting confident..That's why he came out so easily earlier.."

 

"How can we get Kurt to not be afraid?" Blaine asked, his voice pleading. "I want to bring that bastard down. I want him gone."

 

"He'll always be with him, Blaine..I'll be gone before he will.." Elizabeth said sadly.

 

"Why?"

 

"Claude was the first to invade Kurt's mind..He's the strongest..." Elizabeth explained.

 

"But Kurt needs you.."

 

"I know..The medicine gets rid of us Blaine..I'm not as strong as Claude..I won't be with him forever.."

 

"But he'll go away?" Blaine asked.

 

"He might.." Elizabeth said softly. She kissed his forehead. "Stop blaming yourself.." she whispered before Kurt's eyes were vacant again.

 

Blaine took a deep breath, calming himself and wiping the tears away as Kurt slowly came back.

 

Kurt blinked rapidly and saw Blaine was crying. W-Was it him?.."

 

Blaine shook his head. "No. Your mom."

 

"Why are you crying?.."

 

"I'm okay.." Blaine said softly. "I just feel like I'm the reason...all of this happened.."

 

"What happened?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"You being here. Claude being a part of you. Just, everything.. I wish I could take it from you.."

 

"You do.." Kurt whispered before leaning in to kiss him deeply. Blaine cluthed to his husband as their lips moved together.  
"I love you so much.." Kurt panted, tgreading his fingers through Blaine's hair.

 

"I love you too.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt straddled Blaine's lap, deepening the kiss. Blaine gasped, gripping Kurt's hips. Kurt let out a soft moan, gently dragging his nails down Blaine's back.  
"Kurt..." Blaine gasped, pulling him closer. Kurt leaned down, kissing Blaine's neck and sucking at a few places. "I love you so much." Blaine whispered, tilting his head back.

 

"I love you too.." Kurt got out, before sucking a bruise onto Blaine's neck. Blaine mewled, scratching down Kurt's back.  
Kurt shuddered. "Blaine.."

 

"I wish we were alone.."

 

Kurt made a pouty noise, nodding. Blaine knew he should hold back but he leaned back in and pressed their lips together. Kurt moaned deeply, rolling his hips down roughly.  
"Fuck.." Blaine got out. "I want you, Kurt.."

 

"I-I want you so bad.." Kurt panted, looking into Blaine's eyes.  
Bad

 

"Your room?"

 

Kurt nodded, biting Blaine's lip and pulling back. Blaine grinned, carrying Kurt to his room and forgetting about their friend. When they got to the room Blaine laid Kurt down on the bed, the blue eyed man smiling.  
"I love you.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you too.." Kurt said, cupping Blaine's cheek

 

Blaine reached under Kurt's shirt and scratched down his stomach.

 

Kurt's back arched, moaning softly. "Please Blaine.."

 

As Blaine pulled Kurt's pants down a little, Rachel came in and gasped.

 

"Rachel.." Kurt said calmly.

 

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked Blaine.

 

"Umm..Well I think it's pretty obvious.." Blaine said, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Isn't that a little inappropriate in this situation?" Rachel asked, looking between Kurt and Blaine. How could Blaine take advantage of Kurt like that?

 

Kurt pulled his pants up. "We..Do it all the time.."

 

"You do?" Rachel asked in disbelief.

 

Blaine sighed, pulling Rachel into the hallway. "Rachel..It's not what you think.."

 

"He's sick, Blaine!"

 

"Rachel its one hundred percent consensual, I assure you..it took me so long to agree to it after what happened.

 

"But how do you know for sure?"

 

"Rachel..He tells me it's the only thing that feels normal to him..When we're together in that way..He feels grounded...And after..He's so relaxed and he can sleep..He has insomnia, Rachel.." Blaine explained.

 

"Do his doctors think it's okay?" Rachel asked.

 

"Well..They don't exactly know..."

 

"Blaine. What if it doesn't help him?"

 

"And what if it does?.."

 

"I don't know, Blaine.."

 

"Rachel..He's my husband..He wants me to.."

 

"Okay, Blaine. As long as you know."

 

Blaine just sighed. "Forget it..You're right.."

 

"I don't know as much as you do about his situation. I'm just worried." Rachel said softly. "What was that earlier?"

 

"What was what?.."

 

"When he tried to hurt himself.."

 

"That wasn't him..That was Claude.." Blaine said, leaning back against the wall.

 

"Who is he?"

 

"Umm..He's the personality that takes over when Kurt is hurt, angry, or scared.." Blaine said softly.

 

Rachel nodded. Would Kurt ever get better?

 

"I'm..I'm just trying to get him home with me...This...This is.. literally.. killing me.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I don't know how you do it.."

 

"Neither do I.." Blaine admitted.

 

"How do you balance work and being here?" Rachel asked.

 

"I don't...I have to take off every other day..My boss has been really lenient about it..But..Its too much..I-I just know I'm gonna get fired.." Blaine said, sinking down to the floor as he sighed.

 

"Oh god, Blaine.."

 

"But..It's worth it..I nean..I'm pretty close to losing my apartment, but I could probably afford a little one bedroom on the outside of town..And the money I save with rent could go towards gas to see Kurt..Even though he'd be further away.."

 

"Blaine.. Can I do anything to help?" Rachel asked, bending down to sit next to him.

 

Blaine bit his lip, as he shook his head. "I-I can do this..Carole still covers Kurt's medical expenses..when I can take him home I'll be able to go to work as long as I keep the apartment safe.."

 

Rachel chewed on the inside on her lip as she tried to think of what she could do.

 

"If Kurt is good for the rest of the week..I'm going to ask his doctors to put him up for evaluation..To be released.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"But what about what just happened?" Rachel said seriously. "You'll be working and if..if Claude comes out.."

 

"Well..I'll just have to Claude-proof the apartment." Blaine said determinedly.

 

"You think they'll let him out?"

 

"I really hope so.."

 

"Do you want me to stay longer? I can help out a bit?"

 

"Really..I'm okay Rachel..Finn needs you at home.." Blaine said, pulling at the sleeve of his sweater. He had been wearing baggy clothes a lot lately so no one would notice the weight loss.

 

Rachel sighed, an idea already forming in her mind.

 

"Really..I'll be okay.." Blaine said. "Kurt's being really quiet.."

 

Rachel got up with Blaine and went back inside. Kurt was sitting on his bed, fiddling with the corner of his blanket and whispering to himself. "If you would just be good and stay quiet we can go home with Blaine. .But no..You have to fuck up everything by coming out and making Blaine mad..He hates you.."

 

"Baby?" Blaine asked softly as he moved closer.

 

Kurt looked to Blaine before back at the blanket. "I can't believe you..Just stay away from Blaine..We need to go home and we won't be able to if you keep fucking with me."

 

"Is he talking to Claude out loud..?" Rachel asked in a hushed tone.

 

"Yeah..He does that sometimes.." Blaine said, sitting next to his husband. Rachel studied Kurt. The look on his face made her think Claude was yelling or fighting back.

 

"Just shut up..I'm not taking your shit anymore you..piece of shit.." Kurt growled. Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering for a second before relaxing.

 

"You okay?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt nodded, looking up at Blaine. "He's pissed.." He giggled.

 

Blaine couldn't help but laugh as he kissed Kurt's cheek. "You're getting stronger."

 

Kurt grinned, pulling Blaine into a hug.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the week was surprisingly peaceful. Kurt only switched once, but it wss only to Elizabeth for a few minutes. Blaine talked to Kurt's doctor and they set up an evaluation for his release that monday. Rachel had gone home and Blaine cleaned up the apartment. He sat with Kurt as they waited. "Are you nervous?"

 

"A little.." Kurt whispered. "What if they say I have to stay?"

 

"Then we wait a little longer and ask again." Blaine explained. "we will get you home with me."

 

Kurt nodded, standing as the doctor called his name. Blaine gave a supportive smile as Kurt walked into the office.  
It seemed like forever. Minutes felt like hours as he waited for Kurt to come out.

 

Blaine's heart beat against his chest wildly as he heard the door open. Kurt came out and the shorter man stood. "What did he say?"

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine and tears began to gather in his eyes.

 

Blaine immediately wrapped his arms around his husband as his heart sank. "I'm so sorry.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "I can go.." He smiled.

 

Blaine pulled back with wide eyes. "W-What..? Ohmygod!" he said excitedly and kissed his husband deeply.

 

Kurt smiled into the kiss, returning it before pulling back. "Let's go home.."

 

They got the clothes Kurt came in with and headed back to the apartment. Blaine couldn't describe how happy he was. Kurt grinned, happy to have his ring back on, happy to be going home with Blaine..The goodbye with Raleigh was a little sad but he promised to go visit her when Blaine would take him.  
They got up the the door and Blaine grinned. "Welcome home."

 

Kurt smiled as they walked inside. "It's..It's perfect. ." He whispered.

 

"Because you're here."

 

Kurt smiled. Blaine had rearranged the furniture since his last visit and it just looked so much like home. Kurt took off his blazer and hung it up before walking around.

 

"What do you think?"

 

"I love it.." Kurt said, turning to Blaine and wrapping his arms around his neck.

 

"And I love you. I'm so proud of you."

 

"I couldn't have done it without you..I..I don't hallucinate that much anymore..I remember who you are more often than not..And its all thanks to you.."

 

"We did it together." Blainw grinned.

 

Kurt smiled. "You're my motivation.."

 

That night, Blaine explained where everything was and he decided to keep the knives and other sharp silverware where only he could find it. After dinner, Kurt was exploring the apartment. He put one of Blaine's old records on and was looking through the cabinets, familiarizing himself with the placement of everything. Blaine sat back and watched. This all felt like a dream. Too good to be true. But it wasn't. It was real and Blaine couldn't ask for anything more.  
After a while, Kurt was dressed down to his boxer briefs and he came to lay on the couch with Blaine.

 

"How do you feel?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt just smiled in the dim light, straddling Blaine and leaning down to kiss him deeply. Blaine returned the kiss, letting his hands explore Kurt's pale frame. Kurt sighed, his body language more insistent, his movements more rigid than usual. He pulled at Blaine's shirt, yanking it over his head before pressing their lips together again. Blaine dragged his nails down Kurt's back, their breathing increased as the kiss grew more heated. Kurt gave a low, dark moan, grinding his hips down. Blaine's head fell back. "Fuck, baby.."

 

Kurt kissed and nipped along Blaine's neck before humming quietly in his ear. "Hmm?.." he asked, palming over Blaine's crotch.

 

"I just want you.."

 

Kurt chuckled darkly, tightening his thighs around Blaine and grabbing his wrists before pulling back and looking into his eyes.   
"Je me demande si ton cul est aussi serré que votre petite salope d'un petit ami.." Claude whispered.  
( I wonder if your ass is as tight as your little slut of a boyfriend's..)

 

Blaine gasped, fighting against him.

 

Claude gripped Blaine's wrists, pinning him down. "Oh..You do not want to play with me anymore? .." He pouted.

 

"No. I want Kurt!"

 

"It didn't seem like it..." Claude chuckled, leaning down to kiss Blaine softly.

 

"Stop!"

 

Claude laughed before pausing and grabbing at his own hair.

 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands. "Kurt, baby, come out. Fight him. You're strong.. Please, Kurt."

 

Claude, or Kurt, curled in on himself, grunting before he stopped, his hands on his head as of he had been expecting a blow. Kurt slowly peeked up, looking at Blaine before smiling wide. "I did it!" He laughed happly, throwing his arms around Blaine and kissing him deeply.

 

"I-I'm sorry.. I didnt know it was him.." Blaine saod quickly as their lips parted.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "You..You didn't like it...Right?.."

 

"No, Kurt. I only want you, baby. Only you."

 

Kurt nodded, trying hard to ignore Claude as tears gathered in his eyes from his words.

 

Blaine cupped Kurt's face. "I love you Kurt. Only you. He's nothing to me."

 

"He said you l-liked it.."

 

"I thought it was just another side of you. Something different since we're home. But once I saw it was him.. I wanted to stop. I felt terrible. I just want you."

 

Kurt nodded, looking down. 'I-I'm sorry.."

 

"You beat him, Kurt. You came back to me."

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too."

 

Kurt sighed, leaning back and wiping his eyes.

 

"It's okay baby.."

 

"I didn't take my medicine today.."

 

"Why?"

 

"I f-forgot.."

 

"I can get you some." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, running his hands up and down Blaine' s chest. Blaine kissed his husbands cheek before going to get the medicine and a glass of water. Kurt looked at the medley of pills in Blaine's hand with distaste he hated having to take all of these.

 

"They'll help."

 

Kurt sighed, taking them from Blaine and swallowing a few of them. "Can I take the rest later?"

 

"Yeah, baby. I was going to give Carole a call to update her. Did you want to tell her the good news?"

 

"I...I haven't takked to her in a really long time.."  
Talked

 

"I know. I just thought you might want to surprise her." Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine's shirt and pulling it over his head. Blaine dialed the number and handed it to his husband. Kurt waited as the phone rang, scratching at his neck nervously.

 

"Hello?" Carole answered happily.

 

"Carole.." Kurt said softly.

 

"Kurt..?" Tears immediately filled her eyes. "Honey, is that really you..?"

 

Kurt nodded, smiling. "Blaine..Blaine is helping me get better.."

 

"It's so amazing to hear your voice. I miss you," Carole said and sniffled. "How do you like the new hospital?"

 

"I liked it..But I'm living with Blaine now.."

 

"When did that happen?"

 

"Today..Blaine set up an evaluation for my release...I'm on medication now..I'm getting better..And Blaine is my husband..

 

Carole couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kurt was better and married.. "Oh, Kurt.. I'm so proud of you."

 

"Thank you, Carole.." Kurt smiled, chewing on tge skin around his fingernail. He looked a bit anxious but fine for now

 

"Maybe I can come see you soon..? I've really missed you, Kurt."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine and nodded. "I-I'd like that..."

 

"Me too, sweetie."

 

He and Carole talked for a little bit before saying goodbye and hanging up.

 

"How is she?" Blaine asked.

 

"Good..She misses us.."

 

"I can't remember the last time I saw her.. It was so long ago.."

 

Kurt nodded again, wringing his hands together.

 

"You okay?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"What is it?" Blaine asked, worry thick in his voice.

 

"I just..Something...I want to see her..But I'm scared to.."

 

"Why baby?"

 

"What if Claude comes out?.."

 

"We dont even know when she's coming. Maybe he'll be gone."

 

"He'll never be gone.."

 

"But you're better at controlling him." Blaine said. "I believe in you."

 

Kurt sighed softly, scratching at his wrist. "Thank you.."

 

"I'll always be here with you." Blaine said, leaning in to kiss Kurt. Kurt sighed into the kiss, cupping Blaine's cheek.  
"I love you," Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you too.." Kurt said quietly, looking up into Blaine's eyes.

 

"Come on. I want to lay down with my husband."

 

Kurt nodded, standing and walking with Blaine to the bedroom.

 

"I'm so lucky." Blaine said quietly as he laced their fingers together and cuddled up close.

 

"I'm the lucky one.." Kurt whispered against Blaine's lips.

 

"We both are." Blaine grinned.

 

Kurt smiled, leaning in to kiss Blaine. "Goodnight..."

 

"Night beautiful."

 

The next day, Blaine got up to get ready for work.he set out Kurt's medicine, hoping he would remember to take it. Before he stared to leave, he turned to see Kurt watching him from the bedroom door.  
"Good morning," Blaine said softly. "Breakfast is on the table."

 

"Where are you going?.."

 

"Work.."

 

Kurt wrapped his arms around himself. "H-How long will you be gone?.."

 

"I get off at 5." Blaine said softly. "I'll be home for lunch."

 

"What do I do while you're gone?.."

 

"Watch tv or there's my laptop. You could turn the stereo on. Go through our old scrapbooks. I have plenty of books." Blaine suggested.

 

Kurt seemed to light up at the mention of books. "Oh..Okay." He smiled.

 

"Call if you need me. The phone is by the bed. My work number is in there."

 

Kurt nodded, walking over to his husband and kissing him deeply.

 

Blaine gave a small moan. "I love you baby."

 

Kurt smiled at the noise, grabbing Blaine's hand and placing it on his ass. "Hurry back.."

 

Blaine bit his lip. "I will."

 

Kurt giggled. "We can have sex whenever we want now.." he grinned.

 

"We can. Wherever we want," Blaine said lowly.

 

Kurt pressed his body closer to Blaine's. "Like right now?.. On the couch?.." He asked.

 

Blaine weighed it over in his mind. "I guess I could be a little late.."

 

Kurt grinned, biting Blaine's bottom lip and pulling back slightly. Blaine gripped Kurt's hips but not too tight. He was still scared from the last time Kurt was there. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. "Take me.." He whispered.

 

Blaine pulled Kurt's shirt off before ripping his own off and tossing them to the floor.

 

Kurt clawed down Blaine's chest. "Blaine.." he gasped.

 

"Baby.." Blaine moaned, taking Kurt to the bed. Kurt pulled his boxer briefs off, climbing onto the bed on all fours. Blaine growled as he stepped forward, running his hands over the pale, perfect ass. Kurt moaned deeply, resting his face against the mattress. Blaine leaned down and bit down lightly on the soft flesh.

 

Kurt shuddered, his thighs quivering slightly. "That feels so good.." he whispered. Blaine bit down harder before licking over the teeth imprints.

 

"Blaine.." Kurt got out, his voice desperate and a bit thick from sleep. Blaine made a low guttural noise in the back of his throat as he spread Kurt and licked around the tight, pink hole. Kurt cried out and arched his back. 'Baby, yes!"

 

Blaine pressed past the muscles and swirled his tongue around. Kurt rolled his hips as he focused on Blaine's familar breathing. The younger man grinned as he work his tongue for his husband.

 

"Blaine. ..Blaine..Blaine.." Kurt panted, gripping the sheets tightly. He gasped, his eyebrows kneading together and his mouth dropping open In a silent scream as a tremor ran through his thin frame. Blaine clawed down Kurt's thighs before reaching between them to stroke his husband. Kurt dipped his back, whimpering quietly as he reached back, gripping his cheeks and spreading himself wider for his lover. With his free hand, Blaine brought it down and planted a small smack to the rounds of Kurt's ass. Kurt gasped harshly, opening his eyes and looking back at his husband. "Ohmygod.." he whined.

 

Blaine meweled as he pressed in as deep as he could. He missed being able to be loud and do whatever they wanted. Kurt practically screamed, his body giving a small convulsion before his muscles tightened and his back dipped as he came. Everything was just Blaine and the amazing pleasure he was giving him. It was like there was no hospital. Blaine never left and Kurt was just Kurt. Blaine licked at Kurt as he came down before pulling back and kissing the soft flesh. He ran his hand down and stroked himself. He was rock hard from hearing Kurt's moans and screams.

 

"Blaine.." Kurt panted, looking up at him with hooded eyes as his arms dropped. "Baby..I..I want you to put it in." He whispered.

 

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked softly.

 

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes again as his chest heaved. Blaine stepped forward, slowly easing into Kurt. Kurt gasped softly, tightening a bit before trying to relax.  
"Oh fuck... Kurt..."

 

Kurt pushed his hips back, moaning deeply as Blaine filled him. The younger moaned as he started to thrust slowly.  
"Blaine.." Kurt breathed out, looking back at him.

 

"So good.." Blaine gasped.

 

"Faster..." Kurt whispered. Blaine gripped Kurt's hips as he sped up. Kurt let out a high moan, arching his back and creating the most perfect little dip at the base of his spine and causing the dimples there to stand out.  
Blaine growled deep in his throat. "Shit! so fucking good."

 

"Blaine.." Kurt whined, pulling his own hair lightly. "Fuck me.."

 

Blaine thrust roughly, slamming against his husband's prostate. Kurt groaned with each push against the sensitive bundle of nerves. The shots of pleasure making him cry out as he began to get hard again.  
"OhmygodKurt.."

 

"Blaine..Oh god..I..I..ungh!" Kurt cried, reaching behind him for his husband.

 

Blaine pulled Kurt up so his chest was to Kurt's back. He sped up and bit at his husband's ear. "So tight!"

 

Kurt turned his head looking at Blaine with loving eyes as he panted.

 

"I love you.." Blaine breathed out heavily.

 

"I love you too.." Kurt gasped.

 

"I'm close.." Blaine whispered, giving a rough thrust.

 

"S-so am I.."

 

Blaine dragged his nails down Kurt's chest as he sped up his hips. Kurt cried out, tensing up as his second orgasm hit him like a truck. His vision went white before black. He woke up almost a minute later to Blaine's concerned face.  
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked. "Baby?"

 

Kurt smiled. "Amazing. ." He whispered.

 

Blaine chuckled lightly. "You scared me.'

 

"I did?.." Kurt said, his eyebrows kneading together.

 

"You passed out for a minute." Blaine explained.

 

"Oh..Well..I'm okay.." Kurt said before yawning.

 

Blaine kissed Kurt softly. "Take a nap baby."

 

"Mmkay.." Kurt said quietly, closing his eyes. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too." Blaine said as he got dressed and headed to work.

 

Kurt slept for about two hours before getting up and taking a shower. It was nice to have all of the good smelling soaps instead of the bland ones at the hospital.  
After that he put on one of Blaine's records and laid back on the couch, thinking of what he could do to pass the time. He found the books but there was an urge to do something more.. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He sighed, walking into the kitchen. His relaxation from earlier was wearing off and the voices were starting to act up again, but that was normal.  
He opened the fridge and peered inside biting his lip. What could he make? He hadn't had a real meal in so long. Even longer since he had cooked. Blaine wouldn't like him using the stove..But he wouldn't find out. He pulled out a few random things and got to work. He spread his ingredients across the counter. Not much to work with seeing as Blaine didn't have much in the fridge. Kurt bit his lip as he reached forward and turned the dial.  
A few minutes later Kurt had some sort of omlet cooking and some cupcakes in the oven. "I think he'll like it.." He smiled to himself. He finished making his eggs and sat down to eat.  
After that, he began wondering what to do next. Claude was yelling at him about something but he had gotten pretty good at ignoring him lately. Kurt was proud of himself. He never thought he'd have this much control. He looked at the clock on the wall and it was about thirty minutes until Blaine came home for lunch. He sighed, sitting on the couch and waiting for the cupcakes to finish. When they did, he walked to the kitchen and examined the oven. It was hot, but it wouldn't be that bad. He rached in, grabbing the pan with his bare hands before crying out and threw the pan across the room and sending it into a glass vase. "Shit!"  
Kurt looked down at his red, burning hands. Why did the tray have to get so hot too?! He turned on the cold water, hissing as he shoved his hands under it.  
"Stupid.." Claude chuckled.

 

"Shut up." Kurt mumbled.

 

"You grabbed a hot pan with you're hands!"

 

"I forgot!"

 

"And now you've broken Blaine's vase.." Claude said sadly.

 

"What..?" Kurt asked, looking around. He gasped as he saw the shattered glass on the floor.  
"Blaine's gonna be so mad.." Kurt whispered.

 

"He is..You'd better pick it up.." Claude said.

 

Kurt picked up a couple pieces. He stared at the sharp edges.

 

"Blaine is going to be so disappointed.." Claude whispered..You deserve pain for breaking his things.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "Blaine would be hurt if I did."

 

"Not as hurt as he will be when he finds out what you did..You know he didn't want you using the stove..Or the oven..You are worthless..You can't do anything right..Do it..Do something right for once." Claude hissed.

 

Kurt had tears in his eyes as he brought the sharp edge to his wrist. Claude was right. Who was he kidding? Kurt couldn't live a normal life. He couldn't even remember to grab a mitt for taking the sheet out of the oven. He pressed down, blood beginning to bubble up when the door opened.

 

"Kurt?" Blaine called before he saw him. "Kurt!" he yelled, running over and taking the glass from his husband's hand. "What are you doing?!"

 

"I'm sorry..I-I didn't mean to break it..I just grabbed the pan and I-it was hot..." Kurt stammered.

 

"I don't care about the vase. Why are you cutting yourself?"

 

"You don't?..."

 

"Not when you're hurting yourself. Why are you cutting?"

 

"I-I...Claude said I deserved it..Because I broke the vase.."

 

"And Claude is a fucking asshole. You don't need to listen to him. If you do, you'll wind up back in that hospital." Blaine said seriously.

 

Kurt looked frightened at the words. "You'd take me back?.."

 

"Only if I absolutely had to. But I don't want that. I want you here and not hurting yourself."

 

Kurt nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I'm sorry.."

 

"Shh, baby. Come here." Blaine sighed, wrapping his arms around his husband. "I love you, okay?"

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I never want you to go back. I just need you to not listen to him."

 

"It's hard.." Kurt said.

 

"I know. But you have to try baby. for us.."

 

Kurt nodded, kissing Blaine's chest. Blaine helped Kurt clean his wrist before picking up the broken vase. "Want to come down to the restaurant so you're not alone?"

 

"Please.."

 

Blaine grabbed a few books and grabbed a light jacket for Kurt. They headed down to Blaine's work and he for his husband something to eat.

 

Kurt scratched lightly at his wrist. "When do you get off?.."

 

"Three and a half hours. But I'm a waiter so I'll be around."

 

"Okay.." Kurt smiled.

 

Blaine went back to work after kissing Kurt gingerly.

 

Kurt chewed on his pasta slowly, crossing his legs and sitting indian-style in the booth. He watched as Blaine hurried from table to table and smiled lightly. It was a busy day. But Blaine seemed on top and in control of everything. Kurt sat in the booth quietly with his hood up, going through all of the books before it was time for Blaine to leave.  
"Hey baby. You ready?"

 

"Mhm." Kurt sighed, standing up and stretching. "There was a lot of people.."

 

"I know. I'm so ready to get out of here. I thought maybe we could take a walk through the park?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt smiled, nodding and grabbing Blaine's hand.

 

"How was the book?" Blaine asked softly.

 

"Amazing. I felt like I was in it." Kurt smiled.

 

"Good."

 

They drove to the park and got out, walking together

 

"I've dreamed of what this would be like." Blaine sighed happily.

 

"What what would be like?"

 

"This. Being out here with you."

 

"There's so much space.." Kurt sighed.

 

"Isn't it nice?"

 

He nodded, leaning in to kiss Blaine's cheek. They spent a while just walking around and enjoying being out. They sat at a bench and Kurt leaned against Blaine. Blaine wrapped an arm around his husband. "Can I ask you something?"

 

"Anything.."

 

"Are you happy?"

 

"Very.."

 

Blaine let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Me too."

 

"Really?.." Kurt smiled.

 

"I am."

 

Kurt leaned over, kissing Blaine softly.

 

"If you could have one thing right now, what would it be?" Blaine asked his husband.

 

"Hmmm.." Kurt hummed. "I'm not sure..what would you want?"

 

"To do anything for you," Blaine said sweetly.

 

Kurt blushed, looking down. "Well..I miss coffee.."

 

Blaine chuckled. "As soon as my next check comes, I will get you coffee."

 

"Okay.." Kurt smiled.

They walked around a little more before heading back home. When they walked inside, Blaine sighed as he saw that Kurt's pills were still on the table, untouched since this morning.  
"Kurt.."

 

Kurt didn't look at Blaine as he took his jacket off. "Yes?"

 

"Why didn't you take your medicine?"

 

Kurt shrugged. "Forgot..." He said quietly.

 

"You should take them."

 

"Tomorrow.." Kurt said, walking to the bedroom.

 

Blaine groaned. "Kurt, why won't you just take them? They help you. You're the one that wanted them in the first place. They're the reason you're getting better and were able to come home."

 

"They make me feel weird.."

 

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt shrugged, scratching his neck lightly. "I don't know..I just don't like taking them.."

 

"But if they help..?"

 

Kurt didn't say anything, looking down.

 

"I don't want to nag you. I just don't want you to go back." Blaine explained.

 

"I won't go back." Kurt said shifting under Blaine's gaze and pulling at his sleeve. Blaine sighed, not knowing what to say. Kurt sighed, walking to the kitchen. Blaine followed and Kurt took the anti-psychotic, carefully hiding the rest under his tongue and taking a sip of water, throwing his head back.  
"There.." He said before starting to walk to the bathroom.

 

"Thank you." Blaine said, sighing and sitting on the couch.

 

Kurt closed the door behind him before spitting the pills out and flushing them. He really regretted choosing to be medicated. All of those pills just didn't make him feel right.. He thought of what Blaine had said about taking him back. Kurt was pretty sure he wouldn't do it. And maybe he would be alright without the medications. Kurt walked back into the living room with Blaine. "Blaine?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I just want you to know...I'm so happy you're letting me stay with you.."

 

"Well, what kind of husband would I be if I didn't?" Blaine chuckled.

 

"I know..I just..I've already screwed up and it was my first day here alone..Claude just.." Kurt sighed.

 

"You're trying. I know how hard it is for me. I can't imagine what it's like for you. You just have to try to push him away."

 

Kurt sat down and leaned against Blaine. "He just sounds just as real as you do..but he's just...in my head..Telling me I'm not good enough..Telling me to hurt myself.." He whispered.

 

"But you are good enough. You're my husband. And I love you." Blaine said seriously.

 

"I know.." Kurt gave a sad smile. "It just..When someone is constantly telling you how much of a piece of shit you are all day every day...It hurts..'

 

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help.." Blaine whispered, bringing his knees up to his chest.

 

"You do..He's quiet when you're here.."

 

"Really?"

 

"Most of the time.." Kurt said, kissing his jaw.

 

"Good. Hopefully he'll get bored and leave."

 

Kurt chuckled softly. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too," Blaine said. Deep down, he knew it wouldn't happen. But he had to hold on to that sliver of hope.


	9. Chapter 9

The next couple of weeks began to concern Blaine. Kurt seemed to be getting worse. Some of his hallucinations were even coming back. He watched him take his medicine every morning..He had no idea what could be the cause.. He decided to sit his husband down to talk.  
"Kurt.. I'm worried about you."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine with wide eyes. "Why?.."

 

"You seem like you're.. not doing as well.."

 

Kurt looked down. "B-But I'm trying..You said it's okay because I'm trying.." He whispered.

 

"It is. No, baby. I-I'm not saying.. I just.. I'm scared.."

 

"Why?.."

 

"Your hallucinations are getting worse. Claude comes out more.. I watch you take your medicine. I don't understand.."

 

Kurt bit his lip and reached up, grabbing at his hair. "Blaine said as long as I tried.."

 

"You are trying, Kurt.. I-I'm just trying.. trying to talk to you. See how you're feeling. If there's anything I can do. I can't lose you, Kurt.." Blaine said, his voice becoming more pleading.

 

"You won't...You won't..I just..I.. I can't.." Kurt panted.

 

"Can't what baby?"

 

"I cant go back.."

 

"Kurt, I'm not taking you back. I just wanted to see if you know why he's getting stronger again. I can't always be here. If I start missing work again, I'll lose my job. Then we'll lose the house. I-I can't do that to you.."

 

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and drew his knees to his chest. "I don't care..A-as long as I'm with..Blaine I'm h-happy.."

 

Blaine reached for Kurt's hands. "I want to provide for you. I want to give you as much as I can. But if.. if I have to keep coming home, I can't do that."

 

Kurt kept his hands clenched to his hair, panting lightly.

 

"Kurt, please calm down. You're not leaving.." Blaine said softly. "I promise.."

 

Kurt whimpered. "Just shut up, he's not taking me back!" He yelled, his voice a harsh growl.

 

Blaine almost jumped back at Kurt's voice. He knew Claude was yelling something horrible to hurt his husband. "Don't listen to him Kurt. I won't take you back. I told you. I'm not losing you again."

 

Kurt was shaking fiercely, fighting against Claude, letting out grunts as his muscles tensed.

 

Blaine carefully leaned in and ran his hands up and down Kurt's arms. He had tears in his eyes as he tried to calmed his husband. "Please baby.. Come back. Listen to me.."

 

"H-his life would be so much better without you..Worthless little faggot!" Claude growled before Kurt curled in on himself, nearly sobbing as he gasped harshly.

 

Kurt tried to fight Claude. He couldn't let him out. But without his medicine, it was easier for him to come out. "You're lying! B-Blaine loves me!"

 

"I do..I do love you baby...Please.." Blaine whispered.

 

"He might love you, but that does not mean his life was not better before he came back to you..Hes going to lose his job because of you.."

 

Kurt gasped as fear went through him. that was the window Claude needed to escape.

 

"Kurt.. Kurt please, talk to me.." Blaine pleaded, shaking his husband lightly to get his attention.

 

Claude growled the back of his hand connecting with Blaine's face with a harsh slap.

 

Blaine fell back at the sudden surge of pain. "What the fuck?!"

 

" Je vais te tuer!" Claude yelled, standing and towering over Blaine. He looked menacing and Blaine felt fear shoot through him.  
("I'll fucking kill you!")

 

The blood drained from his olive toned face. He brought his arms up to cover his face as he saw Claude coming closer. Claude pulled Blaine up, slamming him into the wall and punching him in the ribs. Blaine curled in on himself as he cried out. He knew it was Claude. But seeing Kurt's face and how angry he looked only made it worse. "Hit me! Stop being such a fucking pussy and hit me!!" Claude yelled, his voice a deep growl and his face an inch away from Blaine's. Blaine turned his head away from Claude. He reached out and tried to crawl away but the pain was too much. Claude kicked Blaine, making him fall to the ground. Claude growled before gasping and taking a few steps back, his hands in his hair. Blaine had tears streaming down his face as he looked on completely terrified. He didn't want Kurt to come back and see him like this. But he couldn't take anymore from Claude. Claude let out a deep growl before he panted harshly, stumbling a bit and collapsing on the floor. Blaine winced and gasped as he slowly sat up. "K-Kurt..?"

 

Kurt didn't move, seemingly unconscious. Very slowly, Blaine scooted closer. He hissed as each searing shock of pain ran through him. "Baby..?"

 

The older man still didn't move, his chest rising and falling evenly. Blaine lifted his arm carefully and ran his fingertips along his husband's cheek. "Please baby.. Wake up.."

 

Kurt gaped harshly, his eyes shooting open as he sat up quickly, panting.

 

"Kurt? I-Is it you..?"

 

Kurt looked to Blaine and nodded. "W-What happened?.."

 

"Nothing.." Blaine said quietly, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from showing he was in pain.

 

"Blaine..Are you okay?.."

 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Blaine asked, looking away.

 

Kurt looked distressed. "D-Did I?.."

 

"No." Blaine said quickly. "Of course not."

 

"Blaine what happened?" Kurt demanded.

 

"I-I..umm," Blaine gasped as another wave of pain hit him. He had to think quick. "It happened on the way home.."

 

"How?.."

 

"Ran into the wrong people.."

 

"Blaine..." Kurt whispered shakily.

 

"What?"

 

"Who?.."

 

"I didn't know him." Blaine said quietly. He tried to stand but failed and groaned. "I'll be fine."

 

"We have to go to the hospital..." Kurt said, standing.

 

Blaine shook his head. "I can't drive.."

 

"I will then!" Kurt said desperately.

 

"Yeah. And risk Claude coming out and killing us? I don't think so." Blaine said, not meaning to sound as harsh as he had.

 

Kurt withdrew, looking down. "I...I just want to help..."

 

Blaine groaned. "I'm sorry. I just.. It just hurts and I don't want you to see."

 

"At lease let me help you to the bed.."Kurt pleaded.

 

"Okay.."

 

Kurt carefully picked Blaine up bridal-style and carried him to the bedroom.

 

Blaine tried not to flinch as Kurt touched him. He forced a weak smile as he curled up in bed. "Thank you.."

 

"I can't believe someone would do this.." Kurt whispered, kneeling on the floor and resting his head on Blaine's leg.

 

"I'll be fine, Kurt. If it gets too bad, I'll call someone from work and have them take me."

 

"You can't work like this.." Kurt said seriously, turning to look at him.

 

"I don't have a choice, Kurt." Blaine sighed. Kurt bit his lip, tears filling his eyes as he looked down. "What's wrong?"

 

"You're hurt..And you can't miss work..Because you've already missed too much because of m-me.."

 

"It's not your fault. It's my choice. I want you. And I'm going to work as hard as I can to make this work. No matter what condition I'm in." Blaine said seriously. Kurt just shook his head before standing and walking back to the living room and sitting on the floor. Blaine sighed as he tried to sit up. He had to hold his breath to try to ease some of the pain. He wanted to go console his husband but then again he didn't want to be too close. Blaine called out to Kurt. "Kurt.. Can you bring.. bring me my phone..?"

 

Kurt came in a few seconds later, holding the phone out to Blaine.

 

"Thank you.. I'm going to have Wes come pick me up." Blaine said, looking anywhere but into his husband's eyes. Kurt nodded, sensing something wrong with Blaine but saying nothing as he walked out. Blaine dialed the number and tried to relax.

 

"Hello?" Wes answered.

 

"Hey, it's Blaine. I need a favor.."

 

"What do you need?"

 

"A ride to the hospital.."

 

"What? Are you okay?" Wes asked quickly.

 

"I-I'm fine. I'll explain on the way." Blaine said.

 

"Okay..I'm coming now.." Wes said before hanging up.

 

Blaine slowly got out of bed and grabbed his wallet, making sure he had his insurance information and everything. He almost fell twice as he walked to the living room.   
"Wes is coming. Will you be okay?"

 

"Where are you going?.." Kurt asked from his spot on the floor.

 

"Hospital. They'll give me something for the pain." Blaine said as calmly as he could. He felt like a rib or two had been broken but he didn't want to scare Kurt. Kurt nodded, looking down and pulling lightly at his hair.  
"What is it, Kurt?"

 

"I just feel like this is my fault..."

 

"It isn't Kurt. Just wrong place at the wrong time.."

 

Kurt nodded, sniffing lightly.

 

"Will you be okay or do you want to go with us?"

 

"Can I please come? They're staring at me.." Kurt whimpered.

 

Blaine worried about bringing Kurt. But he was scared to leave him alone. "Come on."

 

Kurt quickly stood, walking over to Blaine. He helped him down the stairs and Wes was just pulling up as they walked out. They both got into the backseat. "Thank you, Wes," Blaine said weakly before telling the same story he told Kurt. Wes asked Blaine if he knew who he was and whay happened and Blaine was very vague once again. When they got there, Wes got Blaine a wheelchair and wheeled him into the emergency room. Kurt stood outside, staring at the doors with wide eyes. Blaine turned his head. "Its okay. It's not the same. It's for me, Kurt. Not you."

 

Kurt pulled the hood of his jacket up, looking around nervously as he walked in behind Blaine. Blaine got checked in before they went to sit in the waiting area. Kurt sat in the chair, his knees drawn up as his eyes darted around the room. Crowds made him very nervous as of late. All the new people no longer excited him. They terrified him. Blaine carefully reached a hand out. "I'm here baby."

 

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand, letting him be his anchor as he tried to relax. He felt like everyone was staring at him as he whispered quietly to himself.

 

"It's okay, baby. I promise. They aren't here to take you."

 

Kurt tapped this fingers of his free hand against his knee, his mouth moving but no sound coming out before he closed his eyes tightly. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be here. But Blaine said they wwouldn't take him. All the voices in his ears were beginning to blur together, Claude's was especially low and menacing, breaking through the dull roar. A nurse came out and looked around. "Blaine Anderson?"

 

Blaine looked over at Kurt. "Will you be okay while I go in with Wes?..There's some books over there.."

 

Kurt nodded as he tried to focus on his husband. "P-Please hurry.."

 

"I'll try.." Blaine said, kissing his cheek. When Wes wheeled him off, he stopped a nurse. "Excuse me, ma'am..could you please keep an eye on my husband?.." He asked, gesturing to Kurt. "He has DID and a slight case of...schizophrenia..I just want to make sure he'll be okay."

 

"No problem. We'll watch him." She said sweetly and Blaine was off again.

 

They got to the examination room before the nurse took all of Blaine's vitals and left he and Wes alone to wait for the doctor.

 

"Blaine..What really happened?.." Wes asked.

 

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

 

"I know when you're lying, Blaine.."

 

Blaine bit his lip. "It was Kurt.."

 

"Blaine...If he did this to you..He could do worse.." Wes said seriously.

 

"Well, it wasn't him, exactly. It was Claude." Blaine explained. Wes was the only one he felt he could talk to about this. "Kurt doesn't know."

 

"Blaine..It doesn't matter..He still beat the shit out of you..What if he switches and it goes too far? You have to put him back in that hospital.."

 

"I can't do that to him." Blaine said, shaking his head.

 

"Then up his dosage, something. .What if it happens again?.." Wes asked.

 

"I don't know. He's taking his medicine but it doesn't seem like it's working."

 

"Are you sure he's taking it?.." Wes asked.

 

"I give it to him every day and watch him take it." Blaine said. He thought about all the times he had given them to Kurt. He always use the bathroom right after. What if he wasn't taking them?

 

"Well next time just ask him to lift his tongue or look inside his mouth or something.." Wes said. Blaine nodded. He hated the thought of making Kurt think he didn't trust him. But he had to know.

 

The doctor came in soon after, checking Blaine out and assuring him his ribs were only bruised.he prescribed a pain killer and sent he and Wes back out to the waiting room. Blaine looked to where Kurt had been sitting, only to find an empty chair. He panicked and went to the front desk as fast as he could. "Have you seen my husband? He was sitting over there.."

 

"He's right over there." She said, pointing to the area with the bookshelf. He was sitting on the floor with a little girl that look no older than five, reading to her.

 

Blaine sighed with relief. Wes helped him over to his husband.   
"Hey baby.. We're done.."

 

Kurt looked up and nodded. "You have to go?.." The little girl asked, pouting a bit.

 

"I do." Kurt said sadly. "I had fun though. Did you?"

 

She nodded. "Thank you for reading to me."

 

"You're welcome, sweetie." Kurt smiled warmly. "And don't worry. Your mommy will be just fine. I feel it."

 

"Thank you.." She said, hugging Kurt's leg. He pet her hair before turning to walk out with Blaine.

 

"Who was that?" Blaine asked.

 

"Hannah..Her mom's sick.." Kurt said, pulling his hood up again. "She helped me.."

 

"How?"

 

"I saw the birds..She scared them away.."

 

"That was nice of her." Blaine said as they got into Wes' car.

 

Kurt nodded, looking out the window. "I wish we could have a daughter.."

 

"Me too.."

 

Wes looked back at Blaine with sad eyes before looking back at the road. Blaine thanked Wes and let Kurt help him up the stairs and into bed.

 

"Is it time for the rest of my pills?.." Kurt asked as he tucked Blaine in.

 

"Yeah." Blaine said and bit his lip. "I want to see you take them."

 

Kurt hesitated, but nodded before walking to the kitchen to retrieve his medication. Blaine watched Kurt the same way he normally would. "Come here. I want to see that you actually took them."

 

Kurt didn't move, but slowly opened his mouth a little.

 

"More. Under your tongue."

 

Kurt's mouth snapped shut and into a tight line. "Why?"

 

"Because I think you're lying to me." Blaine said simply.

 

"Why would you think that?.." Kurt asked, his fingers tapping on his thigh nervously.

 

"Because you're getting worse. Not better. And instead of simply showing me, you're avoiding it."

 

Kurt cringed as the bitter taste of the pills dissolving began to seep onto his tongue. "I took them."

 

"Then show me."

 

"You don't trust me?"

 

"I want to. If you can show me that you took them, then there's no problem here." Blaine said. He tried to sit up but another wave of pain hit him and he fell back with a groan.

 

Kurt took a step towards Blaine. "Are you okay?" He asked with a bit of difficulty.

 

"I'm fine." Blaine sighed, turning away from Kurt.

 

Kurt sighed, starting to walk away and spitting the pills into his hand, the taste unbearable.

 

Blaine didn't know what to do. He knew Kurt was lying but didn't know how to get him to just take the pills. And on doctor's orders, he wasn't allowed to work for three to four weeks.

 

Kurt walked to the bathroom and dumped the slightly dissolved pills into the toilet before rinsing his mouth out. He looked up into the bathroom mirror and groaned as Claude began to speak. "He's lying to you.."

 

"What are you talking about?" Kurt sighed.

 

"He is lying about who hurt him."

 

"Why would he do that?"

 

"He doesn't want you to know who really did it, you idiot. ." Claude sighed.

 

"I don't understand why he wouldn't want me to know."

 

"God you are so stupid!" Claude hissed.

 

"What?!"

 

"I come out, you go blank. You wake up, and your faggot husband is on the floor beaten and bruised. Put it together!" His alter growled.

 

Kurt gasped."No.."

 

"Yes.." Claude laughed. "Finally you understand something."

 

"W-W-Why would you d-do that?"

 

"Because I hate him.." Claude said darkly.

 

Blaine slowly sat up and heard Kurt talking in the bathroom. "Kurt?..Are you okay?.."

 

"I-I'm fine.." Kurt called back before lowerinh his voice. "He loves me. He.. He's perfect. W-Why do you hate him so much..?"

 

"I'm a part of you Kurt..Have you ever thought that deep down you are angry at Blaine?..For leaving you?"

 

Kurt's eyes went wide and filled with tears. Was it true? He sank to the floor and let his tears fall. Could it be true? If so.. Could Kurt forgive Blaine, let it go and make Claude go away? Kurt stared at his hands as he contemplated everything that happened in the past few years. It made sense. Not that Blaine was to blame. He wasn't. But maybe Kurt did feel a little resentment. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He needed to walk this off. "Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah?" Blaine called from the bed.

 

"Can I go get the mail?.."

 

"Are you sure you want to go alone?"

 

"I'll be okay.." Kurt said, standing and pulling his jacket on.

 

"Hurry back!"

 

Kurt hurried out the apartment and sat on the stairs, pulling his hood up and burying his face in his hands.  
How could he really feel like that about his husband? Did he really feel like that or was Claude just toying with him again? Either one seemed so plausible. He shook his head, gasping as he heard someone coming up the stairs. He stood, quickly walking down and past them to the mailboxes. He opened it with the key and looked through the envelopes. Bills, bills, bills..Kurt paused. There was one from Carole. He quickly tore it open without thinking. He gasped harshly, his hand flying over his mouth before running back up the stairs and into the apartment.

 

Blaine heard the door slam and sat up. "Baby?"

 

"Blaine!" Kurt got out, running to the room and holding the letter out to Blaine.

 

"What is it?" Blaine asked, taking it and reading it. He scanned his eyes across the paper.   
"Blaine,   
Rachel told me about your situation so in this I've enclosed a prepaid card. Each month I'll load it with five hundred dollars. I have an emergency account with money that I won't use and you are more than deserving of it. Hopefully it helps. Give Kurt a kiss for me.   
Love,  
Carole."

 

Tears immediately filled Blaine's eyes. "I-I..I-I don't know what to say.."

 

Kurt smiled wide, climbing onto the bed with Blaine.

 

"I don't deserve this. I'll never be able to pay her back." Blaine said, shaking his head.

 

"You know she won't let you pay her.." Kurt said, resting his forehead against Blaine's.

 

"It's too much.."

 

"Baby..It will help so much.."

 

"That's a lot to take from someone.. She might need it, Kurt.."

 

"She said she doesn't..."

 

Blaine sighed, turning slightly to grab his phone. He called Carole and tried to tell her he appreciated it but couldn't accept her money. Of course Carole, being a mother, wouldn't take no for an answer. She explained how she was so glad Blaine was there to help take care of her stepson. Blaine finally agreed to take the money and use it for bills and to catch up while he wasn't working. He thanked her again before getting off the phone. He let out a deep breath. Today had been way more than he could handle. "I think I'm just going to sleep, Kurt."

 

Kurt shifted on the bed. "Why did you lie to me?.."

 

"What about?" Blaine asked, closing his eyes.

 

"What Claude did to you.."

 

Blaine froze for a moment before relaxing. "I didn't want you to blame yourself."

 

"You lied.."

 

Something in Blaine sparked. Anger flared through his veins. "Okay. I see. So, it's okay when you do it. But if I do it, to protect you, it's this huge issue."

 

"W-what?.." Kurt asked.

 

"You're fucking pills, Kurt! I know you're not taking them. That's why Claude's coming out. That's what made him come out and do this to me!" Blaine almost yelled as he stood, ignoring the searing pain in his ribs.

 

Kurt scooted back against the headboard. "I-I can't.."

 

"You can't what, Kurt? Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? Besides the physical pain? You not taking your medicine makes me feel like you don't give a fuck. That you couldn't care less if you got better and were happy with me or if you just got worse. I feel like you don't give a shot about our life." Blaine's already red rimmed eyes let more tears fall down his cheeks as he finally let out what he had been feeling.

 

"I do! I care!" Kurt yelled. "I love you Blaine! "

 

"Then why are you doing this to yourself? I want one thing, Kurt. Just one. I want you to be healthy and okay. That's all I want. And you're throwing it away.."

 

"Because...I just..All those pills..They make me feel weird..Not right.." Kurt panted.

 

"But what if Claude came out even stronger? Kurt, you told me you wanted to kill me.." Blaine whispered, his tears turning into sobs. "I-I can't.. I'm gonna sleep on the couch.. I just.. I need to be alone.."

 

"I didn't tell you that!!" Kurt yelled, louder than Blaine had ever heard.

 

"He's a part of you Kurt. I know you love me.. Today's been.. Too much for me. I need to sleep. Just.. Sleep in here." Blaine said just above a whisper before grabbing a blanket and slowly making his way to the couch. 

 

Kurt curled into a ball, sobbing as he rocked back and forth and pulled his hair.

 

Blaine tossed and turned on the couch, every position making his ribs hurt worse. Eventually, the younger man decided to just lay on the floor, curling up to his pillow and crying himself to sleep. Blaine opened his eyes in the middle of the night to see Kurt standing over him, not moving. His heart raced as he slowly scooted a fee feet away. "K-Kurt..?"

 

Kurt didn't say anything, staring down at his husband.

 

"Kurt.. Please.. You're scaring me.."

 

Kurt took a step back before he heard a clatter of metal hit the floor and Kurt walked to the kitchen, sitting down at the table in the dark.

 

Blaine was trembling as he reached for the lamp by the couch. He carefully stood. "Kurt..?"  
He looked over where Kurt had been standing and his had flew to his mouth as he saw a knife that already had a small amount of blood on it. Blaine's heart sank as he raced to Kurt. He turned on the light and saw Kurt's arms were covered in fresh cuts, a few on his face as well as he stared Blankly at the wall. Blaine cupped Kurt's face in both his hands. "Kurt! Fucking look at me! What the fuck are you doing?!"

 

Kurt's eyes stared past Blaine before they focused on him.

 

"What are you doing? Why did you do this?!" Blaine yelled.

 

"Take your pills or they'll lock you away..Take your pills..take your pills..Get better.." Kurt whispered.

 

"You want your pills? I'll get them. Kurt.. Focus on me."

 

Kurt was pale, bringing a hand up to wipe at his bloody cheek. "Worthless..Can't do anything right..You don't deserve anything with him..He doesn't need you, you need him.. Kill yourself.." Kurt said quietly as he closed his eyes.

 

Blaine shook his husband's shoulders. "God damn it, Kurt. You are what I want. I don't fucking care if I have to deal with all this. It's you! You are what I want!"

 

Kurt opened his eyes, looking up at Blaine, his pupils expanded so there was only a small ring og blue visible. "They told me to kill you.." he whispered.

 

Blaine's arms fell to the sides as he backed up. "So you got a knife and were going to..?"

 

Tears filled Kurt's eyes, but he remained completely still. "I would never.." He said in barely a whisper.

 

"Do you know that for sure..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"You think I would?.."

 

"I'm not saying you would want to.. But I don't know what it feels like. To have him in your head.. If he can make you do other things.. What if he made you?"

 

Kurt slowly shook his head, bringing his hands to his hair and pulling. "I can't do this anymore.."

 

"Can't do what..?"

 

"Live."

 

"Why? Am I not helping enough? Am I not doing enough, Kurt? Just tell me what to do. I'll do it. I need you.." Blaine said desperately.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "You dont do anything wrong..You're perfect. .You don't deserve this.."

 

"I've told you I don't know how many times. I want you. I don't care if that means all of this. Or if I'm risking my own life. I want you.. You're my husband, Kurt.."

 

Kurt closed his eyes as a tear fell and he began to tremble lightly. "I-I..I'm sorry.."

 

"You love me.. Right? You'd do anything for me..?"

 

Kurt nodded quickly.

 

"Would you take your medicine? For me?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded again, taking his hands down from his hair. "Really?" Blaine asked again. "Please.. I just want us to be happy. I don't want to be scared.."

 

"I-I don't want you to be afraid of me.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Me neither.. Come here. Let me get you cleaned up.."

 

Kurt stood and Blaine ran a warm bath before helping Kurt undress and get in. He had to ignore the intense pain in his ribs as he did this, but Kurt just looked so scared. Like he was just realizing what just occured. Blaine kissed the top of his husband's head. "I love you, Kurt.."

 

"I love you too.." He said quietly, hissing softly as Blaine washed over his forearms.

 

"Why did you cut yourself..?"

 

"They told me to..It makes them go away..But they didn't..so I kept cutting and they just got louder.." Kurt said softly.

 

"You could've woken me up baby.."

 

"You were mad at me.."

"It doesn't matter. I'm always here. No matter what we're going through." Blaine said softly. "I'm sorry for yelling. I just need you to understand that it kills me that you're purposefully making yourself worse."

 

"I'm not trying to make myself worse.." Kurt whispered, flinching as Blaine ran hisbhands over a particularly deep cut.

 

"You know what I mean. You're choosing to not take your medicine which makes you worse. And that just makes it more likely that one of us if not both will get hurt."

 

Kurt looked down, clearly ashamed of himself.

 

"If you can start taking your medicines again, it'll get better. Easier. We can do this, Kurt. Together." Blaine said as he gingerly dabbed at the cuts on his husband's cheeks.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine and nodded. "I'm so sorry.."

 

"Let's just move on from tonight. Okay? I won't be mad. I'm sorry for getting so angry. I just don't know what to do sometimes."

 

Kurt nodded again. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too." Blaine let Kurt dry off and gave him a cream for his cuts. They crawled back into bed, Blaine on his back with Kurt curled against his chest.

 

"I would never hurt you Blaine. ." Kurt whispered.

 

"I believe you. It's just Claude." Blaine whispered back.

 

"I hate him so much.."

 

"I know baby. Me too."

 

Kurt kissed Blaine's chest. "Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Do you...Do you think my scars are ugly?.."

 

"Ugly? No. Nothing about you is ugly. But they do make me sad." Blaine said softly.

 

"Really?.." Kurt asked.

 

"I wasn't able to stop it. They remind me of you hurting yourself. I don't like that."

 

Kurt sighed softly and was quiet for a while. "Do you ever wish you didn't come looking for me?"

 

"Never." Blaine said honestly. "Not once."

 

Kurt smiled. "I love you so much.."

 

"I love you too, Kurt. I don't regret any of this. Except leaving.."

 

Kurt bit his lip. This is what he had to forgive a Blaine for.."I know.."

 

"I'll never forgive myself." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Why?.."

 

"If I wouldn't have left.. Maybe this wouldn't have happened.."

 

"You wouldn't have been happy.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Why not?" Blaine asked. "I could've gotten you to talk to someone even if it wasn't me. Try to prevent this."

 

Kurt looked down. "I just never understood why you left..What the breaking point was.."

 

"I thought you didn't want me. You pushed me away and flinched anytime I came close to you. I felt repulsive. I thought there might've been.. someone else. I-I didn't know what to do." Blaine whispered. "If I would've known what happened to you, I never would've left.."

 

Kurt took a deep breath in. "I never wanted to make you feel that way.."

 

"I know that now. I shouldn't have left. I should've fought for us. I made a huge mistake by leaving. And I can't take it back. I can only hope that you don't blame me.. Because I do.." The younger man said, biting his lip to hold back another round of tears.

 

Kurt sat up, looking down at Blaine before leaning down to kiss him sweetly. "I forgive you..And I could never blame you for this.."

 

"Thank you.." Blaine whispered. "I really needed to hear that."

 

Kurt smiled lightly. "I just love you so much.."

 

"I love you too, Kurt. More than anything." Blaine said softly. "I want all the things we used to want. I want to make a family with you.. I-I want all of that with you."

 

"You want a family with me?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I do," Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's back. "But we have to get Claude under control. I won't even let myself really think about a family if he's trying to get you to hurt me. I won't put a kid through that."

 

Kurt nodded "I understand." He said before smiling wide.

 

"I've missed that smile." Blaine grinned. Kurt blushed, burying his face in Blaine's neck. Blaine giggled, turning his head to kiss Kurt's forehead. "Goodnight baby."

 

"G'night.." Kurt smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

Blaine spent his time with bed rest, Kurt taking care of him and also taking all of his medicine, most of the time. Kurt had also been spending a lot of his time, curled up on the couch with parenting books that he'd checked out from the library right down the street. Blaine was finally starting to feel a little better. He got out of bed to get something to eat. When he saw Kurt, he couldn't help but smile. Maybe all he needed was a little motivation to get better.

 

Kurt looked up and saw his husband and gave a small smile. "Hey."

 

"Hey baby."

 

"I've been reading.."

 

"Oh yeah? What about?" Blaine smiled.

 

"Babies.."

 

"What about them?"

 

"Raising them.."

 

Blaine smiled, going to sit by his husband.

 

"I don't think I can do this.." Kurt whispered, scratching at the healing cuts on his arms.

 

"Why baby?"

 

Kurt pointed to the page. "In order for a child to grow and be happy, they need two parents that can provide them stability, constant care, and a safe environment.." He read.

 

"You will, Kurt. When you're better. You're well enough to live here with me." Blaine said softly.

 

"Barely..." Kurt whispered.

 

"It's an improvement."

 

Kurt sighed, tracing his fingers over the picture of the mother and father, holding their baby and smiling. He wanted it more than anything.

 

"We'll get there, Kurt."

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine. "You really think so?.."

 

Kurt smiled, leaning over and kissing Blaine softly.

 

"I believe in you," Blaine said lovingly.

 

"Thank you.." Kurt said quietly. "I just get scared..I don't ever want them to see me switch.."

 

"I know baby. We'll figure it out."

 

Kurt nodded, sighing softly when a beeping went off on Blaine's watch.

 

Kurt sighed. "Do I have to take them today?.."

 

"Yes baby. You need them." Blaine said seriously.

 

Kurt nodded, looking down.

 

"I just want to keep us safe." Blaine said, getting up to get the pills.

 

"Keep us safe from me.." Kurt whispered, bringing his knees to his chest.

 

"No. From Claude."

 

"Even you said it, Blaine..He's a part of me.."

 

Blaine sighed, not knowing how to fix this.

 

"I remembered something today.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I was listening to that playlist you made me..Teenage Dream came on and It made me think about a school..Blue and red.."

 

Blaine bit his lip as he thought about that day. "The day we met.."

 

Kurt smiled. "I kind of remember it..You were..Short.." He giggled.

 

"Hey now," Blaine laughed.

 

Kurt bit his lip, holding back a grin as Blaine handed him the pills.

 

"You must have liked it because you married me."

 

"I think it's cute.." Kurt said softly, before taking the pills.

 

"I think you're cute." Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever. ."

 

Blaine chuckled. "Are you hungry?"

 

"Nope..Come kiss me." Kurt said quietly. Blaine leaned in, kissing Kurt softly.

 

Kurt smiled, humming quietly. "I love your lips.."

 

"I love yours."

 

"Yours are so much better, though.." Kurt smiled, nibbling on Blaine's bottom lip.

 

Blaine gave a small moan. "I don't know about that."

 

"Why do you say that?.." Kurt asked, his hand traveling up Blaine's thigh.

 

"Because I know how good yours feel," Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt shivered. "But yours feel better.." Kurt said, kissing his jaw softly.

 

"You don't know that."

 

"Neither do you.." Kurt said, kissing back to his lips.

 

"So we'll agree to disagree," Blaine grinned. Kurt kissed the corner of Blaine's smile, giggling lightly. "You're extra kissy today," Blaine chuckled.

 

"I like kissing you." Kurt said, kissing his nose.

 

"I like it too."

 

"You like when I kiss you other places?"

 

"I love all of your kisses."

 

Kurt smiled, kissing down Blaine's neck. Blaine tilted his head back as he moaned softly. Kurt hummed, gently pushing Blaine's chest so he was laying down on the couch. Blaine let his eyes flutter closed as he relaxed. Kurt lifted Blaine's shirt, licking across his abs.  
"Oh god.."

 

Kurt grinned, moving to his hips. Blaine smiled, rolling his body slightly.  
"Ooh..Do that again..." Kurt whispered. Blaine moaned, doing it again. Kurt pulled Blaines pants down and quickly sucked his length into his mouth. "Ah!" Blaine gasped harshly, throwing his head back. Kurt hummed, bobbing his head quickly.  
"Kurt.."

 

"Hmm?.." Kurt hummed.

 

"So good.."

 

The older smiled, sucking harder. Blaine let out a loud moan, relaxing against the couch. Kurt pulled off, licking up the underside.  
"Baby.. You're so good.."

 

Kurt smiled. "Taste so good.."

 

Blaine reached down, dragging his nails down his chest. Kurt grinned, licking the tip. Blaine looked down to watch his husband. "No one else can do this to me.."

 

Kurt stroked him slowly. "Really?.."

 

Blaine nodded. "Only you."

 

Kurt moaned sofly, kissing up the shaft.

 

"Oh my god.."

 

"So sexy.."

 

Blaine mewled, rolling his hips up. Kurt swallowed him again, moaning deeply.   
"Fuck.. Oh fuck.."

 

Kurt hummed, pushing down more so his nose was against Blaine's stomach.

 

"Oh god, Kurt!"

 

Kurt pulled off, gasping for air.

 

"Baby.. I'm close.."

 

Kurt nodded, pumping Blaine as he sucked the head. Blaine arched his back, giving a loud groan as he came. Kurt sputtered, pulling off as Blaine came across his swollen lips.  
"So sexy.." Blaine whispered. Kurt licked his lips, dragging his tongue over Blaine's softening length. Blaine shivered. "Damn baby.."

 

Kurt moved up Blaine's body and kissed him deeply, letting Blaine lick up the come he didn't. Blaine moaned at the taste, pulling Kurt closer. Kurt whimpered, rolling his body.

 

"What do you want, baby?" Blaine whispered.

 

"Anything...I-I just..Need.."

 

Blaine flipped them over and kissed down Kurt's chest. Kurt whimpered slightly, looking down at Blaine. Blaine palmed Kurt over his pants. Kurt gasped shakily, wrapping his arms around Blaine.  
"You want me to suck you baby?"

 

"N-no..Just..touch me..kiss me.." Kurt panted. Blaine nodded, pressing their lips together as he slowly pulled Kurt's member out. Kurt whined, kissing Blaine deeply. The younger stroked Kurt as they kissed. Kurt was trembling under Blaine. Blaine could already tell he was close. Blaine rolled his body onto Kurt as he moaned.  
"Blaine.." Kurt panted. "I-I'm..I'm.."

 

"I know baby.. Let go."

 

Kurt thrust up, whimpering slightly before his stomach tensed and he came. Blaine stroked his husband through go release. Kurt hummed and moaned softly as he came down. "Blaine. ."

 

"You're so beautiful.."

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too," Blaine said lovingly.

 

Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine again. Blaine grinned. "I'm going to make grilled cheese. Want some?"

 

"Yeah.." Kurt hummed. Blaine kissed Kurt before going to the kitchen. Kurt tucked himself away and sighed. "Can we go to the park later?.."

 

"Of course, babe."

 

Kurt smiled, nodding.

 

After they ate, Blaine grabbed Kurt a light jacket and they headed to the park. Kurt wrapped his arms around one of Blaine's as they walked before sitting at a bench. "It's so beautiful out here." Blaine sighed.

 

"It is.." Kurt said softly. He let his hood down and rolled up his sleeves, letting the sun warm his skin.

 

"Hey, I'm going to grab some coffee. It's just right over there. I'll be right back, okay?"

 

"Okay.." Kurt nodded, letting his head fall back. Blaine got up and walked towards the shop. Kurt sat there, enjoying the weather when he heard a little voice.   
"What happened to you?.."

 

He opened his eyes to keep a kid standing in front of him. "What?"

 

The little boy was staring at Kurt's arms. "How'd you get cut?..It's on your face too.."

 

Kurt froze, not sure of what to say. "It was just an accident."

 

"Are you okay?.." The little boy asked.

 

"I will be.. One day.." Kurt said sadly.

 

The little boy sat next to Kurt and ran his hand over Kurt's scabs. "Does that hurt?..."

 

Kurt shook his head. "No."

 

The boy nodded, looking up at Kurt as he pulled his hood back up. "You know..With all those cuts you look kinda scary."

 

That stung Kurt a little. "I'm really nice.."

 

"I know. Your eyes look nice." The boy smiled.

 

"Thank you. What's your name?"

 

"Devin." He said softly. "Do you want to play with me?"

 

"I'd love to. I'm Kurt."

 

"Hi Kurt. Come on!" He grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him to the closest jungle gym, climbing up the ladder.

 

Kurt giggled as he followed. This one random little boy made him so happy. He hoped to have this with his own kid someday. He looked over at the bench and saw Blaine smiling at them. Eventually, a few other kids came over to join their game, all wanting to play with Kurt. Kurt laughed and played with them all for a while. Blaine watched on. It was nice to see his husband so happy and playful.   
After a while, Kurt decided to return to Blaine, leaving the kids to play.

 

"Having fun?" Blaine grinned. Kurt nodded, a big grin on his face. Blaine handed him a coffee. "You look so happy."

 

Kurt took it and sat down. "I love kids." He said softly.

 

"They seem to love you too."

 

Kurt sipped his coffee happily, cuddling up to Blaine. They sat there, watching the kids until most of them were gone.

 

"Blaine?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Yes baby?"

 

Kurt turned to look at Blaine before his eyes closed for a moment. They opened and the blue was even more brilliant. "He really wants a child, Blaine.." Elizabeth said softly.

 

Blaine gave a small smile. "Me too.. But I have to make sure Claude is under control of not gone.."

 

Elizabeth nodded, grabbing Blaine's hand. "He's trying so hard.."

 

"I know. I believe in him."

 

"Thank you..for being here.."

 

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Blaine said softly. "No one understands why I'm still here. I get it. It gets really scary sometimes. But I love him.."

 

"You know he would never intentionally hurt you, right?.." Elizabeth said softly.

 

Blaine swallowed dryly. "When Claude came out and did that... Do you think there's a part of Kurt.. that wanted to do it..?"

 

"I don't..Claude is a manifestation of all of Kurt's anger and frustration. It bubbles to the surface and gets released in any way possible." Elizabeth said.

 

"Why do they want him to kill me..? I'm scared to sleep every night.. I'm scared of what I'll wake up to or not wake up at all.."

 

"Because you make him happy.." She whispered.

 

"Do you think he can handle a family..?"

 

"Honestly..I do..I feel like a child would help him. Help him see that he has to work harder to get better.." She nodded, looking up at the sky.

 

"Thank you," Blaine said quietly.

 

"It's what I'm here for.." Elizabeth smiled.

 

"I love when you come out.." Blaine admitted.

 

Elizabeth giggled, squeezing Blaine's hand. "I'm glad.."

 

"Will you be with Kurt much longer?.."

 

"Depends on if the medicine keeps working..It's hard for me to come out..I try to so you can have someone to talk to that understands Kurt.."

 

"I don't want him to lose you.. But if he doesn't take them, he gets worse.."

 

She nodded. "I understand..I know i'll have to go soon. And claude will be the last to go.."

 

"I'm scared for when he's the only one left.. He won't have anyone to put Claude down.. Tell him that Claude is wrong.."

 

"He'll have you.." Elizabeth said quietly. She gave a small smile before closing herv eyes. When they opened again, Blaine knew the blue-grey belonged to Kurt.

 

"How are you feeling baby?" Blaine asked softly.

 

"I dunno.." Kurt grabbed Blaine's wrist and looked at his watch. "Do you have to work tonight?.."

 

Blaine nodded. "I do. It's a short shift though."

 

"Okay." Kurt said, running his fingers over a cluster of cuts on his cheek. "Do you think I'm scary?.." He whispered.

 

"No, baby. Why would I think that?"

 

"That little boy said my scars made me look scary.."

 

"It's because he's little. He doesn't know about what's going on. But you weren't too scary for him to talk or play with you."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine and nodded. He was right. "Just some days I wish I could just..Take a sponge and wash all of these way and never ever have to look at them again..I want to be beautiful for you.."

 

"Kurt," Blaine said, turning to face his husband. "I think you're the most gorgeous man. I love you."

 

Kurt had tears in his eyes as he looked down. "I just don't ever feel gorgeous.." He sniffed. "They're so..ugly.."

 

Blaine leaned in, kissing over a couple of the scars. "I love all of you. Your scars are a part of you. I know you don't feel it. But you are beautiful."

 

Kurt sniffed again, wiping a tear away. "Thank you.." They walked home and Kurt decided to go take a shower. He pulled off his clothes and looked in the mirror. Scars riddled his arms, his abdomen and hips. The tops of his thighs and his sides. He had no idea how Blaine could ever find this body beautiful.

 

Blaine knocked on the door. "Babe? Can I come in? I need to get ready."

 

"Umm..Yeah.." Kurt said, covering himself with a towel before opening the door. Blaine smiled, pulling Kurt close and kissing him. Kurt sighed softly, returning the kiss.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt said quietly, clutching to the towel.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Kurt nodded, looking down. Blaine kissed his husband's cheek before going to turn the shower on.  
"Are you gonna shower with me?.." Kurt asked quietly. He hadn't really let Blaine see him completely naked since that night they fought.

 

"I can wait if you want.."

 

"No..Its fine.." Kurt said nervously.

 

"Okay." Blaine said, starting to undress. Kurt watched Blaine, biting his lip. "You coming?" Blaine ask as he stepped in. Kurt nodded, slowly dropping the towel and stepping in. Blaine admired Kurt's body. Seeing the scars did make him sad. But Kurt was still so beautiful. "I could stare at you all day."

 

Kurt blushed. "I-I don't see how you think that.."

 

"Because you're perfect."

 

Kurt just shook his head, looking down.

 

"You are." Blaine said, cupping Kurt's cheek.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "But you are.."

 

"And so are you."

 

Kurt sighed softly, leaning against Blaine. Blaine grabbed a wash cloth and started washing Kurt. Kurt tensed slightly, looking back at him. "Relax," Blaine soothed.

 

Kurt nodded, letting his shoulders sag a bit. Blaine leaned in, kissing a couple of Kurt's scars. Kurt looked back at Blaine. "You don't have to do this.."

 

"I want to," Blaine said sweetly. "I want you to see they don't change how I feel."

 

Kurt nodded, taking a shaky breath. Blaine continued down Kurt's body, kissing each scar. Kurt closed his eyes. Did Blaine really love every part of him? Scars and all?.. Blaine took his time, paying attention to each mark. Kurt tried not to let his tears overwhelm him as Blaine kissed over each cut. The younger looked up. "I love you so much. Each part if you."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine smiled, standing back up. "Whenever you feel like you aren't good enough, I want you to think of how I look at you. How I think you're the most beautiful person in this world."

 

Kurt nodded, a tear slipping out, but quickly mixing with the water. Blaine leaned in to kiss his husband deeply. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, moaning softly.  
"I don't care how long it takes. I will do this every day. I will tell you every day if it helps."

 

"I love you so much, Blaine. ." Kurt got out.

 

"I love you too, Kurt. More than anything."

 

Kurt nodded, hugging Blaine close. Blaine held Kurt for a few minutes before they finished up and got out. Kurt got dressed, watching Blaine as he got ready.

 

"You want me to bring anything home tonight?"

 

"Those little garlic rolls?.." Kurt asked.

 

"Anything else?"

 

"Nope.." Kurt smiled, laying back on the bed.

 

"Alright. I'll be home around nine, babe." Blaine said softly.

 

"I love you." Kurt smiled.

 

"I love you too."

 

Kurt nodded as Blaine walked out and curled up in the bed. After a while the phone rang and Kurt sat up in bed. He walked over to the phone and saw Carole's number. He carefully picked up the phone. "Hello..?"

 

"Kurt?..Hi sweetie."

 

"Hey, Carole."

 

"How are you doing?"

 

"I'm okay.. How are you?"

 

"Good. I was wondering if you boys would mind me bringing Finn up there to stay for a bit."

 

"Finn wants to see me..?" Kurt asked quietly.

 

"Of course.."

 

"I-I.. I'd like that.."

 

"So would I.." Carole said softly.

 

"When are you coming?"

 

"Would it be okay if we showed up tomorrow morning?"

 

"Oh uhh yeah. I-I need to clean.. I'll tell Blaine. Do you need us to pick you up?"

 

"That'd be nice." Carole smiled.

 

Kurt wrote down when they would arrive and their flight number before getting off the phone. He looked around at the house and sighed. He wanted everything to be perfect. He began to straighten up, making sure everything was in accordance and perfectly straight. Blaine wouldn't be mad if he used the cleaning supplies would he? Kurt assumed he wouldn't. After all he was trying to help. He went to the kitchen and sighed as he saw that the cabinet that led under the sink was locked. Where would Blaine keep the key..? He walked into the room and started his search. He checked the dressers and nightstand but found nothing.  
Kurt looked under the bed and saw a shoe box. He pulled it out, after moving a few things out of the way and looked inside. There were a lot of pictures of Blaine. But he was with men Kurt didn't recognize.. Were these other boyfriends? Kurt sat and crossed his legs, pulling the box into his lap. There were a lot of guys. There was one that hit Kurt especially hard of them kissing. He was tall and had brown hair with dark green eyes. Kurt's eyes darted to the other pictures. There were a lot of Blaine with this guy..They looked really happy together.. They looked like a normal couple.. Kurt felt selfish for putting Blaine through this.   
Kurt sighed, when a glint of metal caught his eye. Was it the key?..he reached for it and grabbed it, gasping as he lifted it. It was a ring. An engagement ring.. It was beautiful. Much more than either of them could have ever afforded. Why hadn't Blaine told him? Kurt felt a pain in his chest as he put the ring back in the box. He wanted so badly to ask Blaine about it. But that would mean he'd have to admit to going through his things. But Blaine wanted to marry this man..It hadn't always been Kurt. He said it was always him.. So why did he have this ring..? He gasped as he heard the front door open and scrambled to put everything back in the box.

 

"Baby? I'm home." Blaine called.

 

Kurt started to panic as he accidentally knocked the box over. Tears filled his eyes as he tried to quickly shove them away. Blaine would hate him.. Blaine set two dinner boxes down and walked to the bedroom. He saw the panic and tears in Kurt's eyes. "Baby, what happened?"

 

"I-I'm sorry I-I w-was cleaning and-and I saw this and I opened it..I-I'm so s-sorry.." Kurt stammered.

 

Blaine's eyes went wide as he saw the box. "Kurt.."

 

"I-I'm so s-sorry.." Kurt panted, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

"No.. I'm sorry.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "W-why?.." he whispered.

 

"For not telling you.."

 

Kurt looked back down at the pictures. "You were gonna marry someone?.."

 

"I thought about it.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Who?.."

 

Blaine sat down and sighed. "His name is Sebastian."

 

"Did I know him?.."

 

"No."

 

Kurt nodded, looking down.

 

"It wasn't meant to be.." Blaine whispered.

 

"But..You thought about marrying him.."

 

"Not really. Not until he proposed, I mean."

 

"And you said yes?.."

 

"I did.."

 

Kurt looked down. "So you wanted to.."

 

Blaine shrugged. "I no longer had you. I tried to move on."

 

Kurt looked down his heart pounding. "He touched you..A-And kissed you..And loved you..And you loved him.."

 

Blaine moved closer and took his husband's hands. "Please baby, calm down. I.. I left him.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "You said it was always just me!" He panted, his breath becoming shallow as Claude began to speak in the back of his mind.

 

"Kurt, shh.. Calm down, please.. I told you this.. I thought you didn't want me. But I left him.. For you. I couldn't get married without knowing for sure whether or not you and I had a chance." Blaine tried to explain. "I came to find you."

 

Kurt was shaking as Blaine pulled him close. "I c-can't..He touched y-you..He..He.."

 

"Shh, please.. Please.. Deep breaths, Kurt.. Calm.. Be calm.."

 

Kurt held his breath before gasping harshly, "Calm..." He repeated.

 

"Yes baby.. Calm. Don't let him come out. Don't listen to him. Listen to me.."

"Calm.." Kurt breathed out again. He tried to relax but all he could see was this Sebastian guy touching Blaine, kissing him, having sex with him..

 

Blaine held Kurt closer, rubbing his back.

 

Kurt clutched to Blaine, resting his forehead against his shoulder. "My Blaine. ."

 

"Yes. I'm yours. I married you."

 

"Mine.." Kurt almost growled. Blaine gasped, his body freezing for a moment.

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine. "You're mine.." he whispered before kissing him deeply. Blaine fell back, bringing Kurt with him and holding him close. Kurt moaned softly, kissing Blaine with everything he had.

 

"Kurt," Blaine gasped between kisses.

 

"I want you so bad..Just..Mine.." Kurt panted.

 

"All yours," Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine again before flipping him over and pulling Blaine's ass up so he was on his knees and elbows. Blaine moaned loudly. He hadn't seen Kurt like this since before everything happened. Kurt pulled Blaine's work pants down and gripped his ass, leaning in to kiss and bite at the perfect flesh.  
"Oh my god.. Kurt..."

 

Kurt spread Blaine's cheeks, gasping shakily as he saw the tight hole.

 

Blaine bit his lip as he heard the slight hesitation. "You don't have to.."

 

"No..I want to..I want to.." Kurt panted. "Looks so sexy.."

 

Blaine rolled his body at his husband's words.

 

Kurt leaned in,, dragging the flat of his tongue over Blaine's hole. Blaine sucked in a deep breath. "Holy shit.."

 

Kurt moaned. "You taste amazing.."

 

"Baby.."

 

Kurt leaned back in, running the tip of his tongue around the rim before pushing inside. Blaine couldn't help but to push his hips back. It felt so good. Kurt squeezed Blaine's ass and spread him wider as he fucked him with his tongue. "Kurt! Ah, fuck!"

 

Kurt pulled out, watching as Blaine's entrance shrank back to a tight pucker. "Blaine.." Kurt panted.

 

"Baby.. Show me I'm yours.. Only yours.."

 

Kurt got on his knees. "T-take your clothes off.."

 

Blaine got up, quickly removing his clothes before kneeling back down. Kurt pulled his off as well before spitting on his hand and slicking himself up quickly. Blaine turned his head to watch. Kurt was trembling slightly as he stroked himself. He needed this.. "I want you so bad, Kurt.."

 

Kurt nodded, lining himself up before slowly pushing into Blaine. Blaine grabbed his shirt, tangling his hands in the fabric as he felt the rough, dry stretch. "Ungh..!"

 

Kurt gasped. "Are you okay?.."

 

Blaine nodded quickly. "Been.. A long time.."

 

Kurt nodded back, looking down at his lover as he slowly pushed into him. Blaine panted under his husband. "Ohmygod.."

 

"Blaine.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine stayed still as he got used to the stretch. "Talk to me.. Please.."

 

"You're so fucking..Tight..Perfect. ."

 

Blaine mewled as he moved his hips. Kurt gasped softly, pulling out and slowly pushing in again. The younger moved his hips faster, feeling Kurt inside him. He had forgotten how perfect they were together. Blaine's moans got louder as Kurt sped up. Kurt pulled Blaine up so his back was to his chest. He moaned deeply. Blaine looked so beautiful.. "Kurt.." Blaine whimpered.

 

Kurt brought a hand up, cupping Blaine's cheek and moaning against his neck as he thrust faster. Blaine looked into his husband's lustful eyes as he edged closer. Kurt couldn't get enough of how Blaine felt around him..How he looked while Kurt was inside of him..This was all so perfect. "So close.." Blaine panted.

 

"Blaine..." Kurt groaned, his hips stuttering in rhythm. Blaine arched his back wildly, crying out as he came. Kurt filled Blaine as he tightened around him, groaning. Blaine leaned back against Kurt, breathing heavily.

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too.."

 

Kurt pulled out, panting softly. Blaine turned around to kiss his husband deeply. Kurt kissed Blaine back, loving how clear his mind was in this moment.

 

"I brought dinner." Blaine said, his voice hoarse.

 

"You're amazing..." Kurt smiled. Blaine chuckled as they changed into their pajamas and went to eat.

 

"Carole and Finn are coming tomorrow. ." Kurt said as they ate.

 

"Finn too?" Blaine asked. "That's great."

 

Kurt nodded, a bit nervous about it.

 

"I bought an air mattress. I'll blow it up tomorrow. You, Finn and I can sleep out here. We'll give Carole the bed."

 

Kurt nodded again. "That sounds good.."

 

"Are you feeling okay?"

 

"Yeah.." Kurt said softly.

 

They ate dinner before climbing into bed, sleep quickly taking them.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, they went to go get Carole and Finn.

 

 

"I can't believe how long it's been since I've seen Carole," Blaine smiled.

 

 

"I'm scared.."

 

 

"Why?"

 

 

"What if I don't remember things?.."

 

 

"She'll understand," Blaine said softly.

 

 

Kurt sighed. "Okay.."

 

 

"It's going to be okay. I promise."

 

 

"Thank you.." Kurt said, giving a small smile.

 

 

They got to the airport and waited at the baggage claim. After about ten minutes, Kurt gasped as he saw Carole. She walked quickly to Kurt and wrapped him in his arms, tears already in her eyes. "I missed you so much.."

 

 

Kurt hugged her back. She looked so different..was this Carole? She still wore her old perfume..it was..

 

 

She pulled back and cupped his cheeks. "Look at you.. It's so nice to see you sweetie.."

 

 

"I missed you too.." He said quietly.

 

 

Blaine gave Finn a quick hug. "Glad you came."

 

 

Finn nodded, turning to Kurt and opening his arms for a hug. Kurt slowly stepped forward, letting his brother hold him. Finn pet Kurt's hair, sighing softly." I missed you baby brother."

 

 

Kurt closed his eyes as the words soothed him slightly. "Me too.."

 

 

Finn smiled, letting Kurt go. They grabbed their bags and went out for lunch after Finn complained about being hungry. When they got to the apartment, the couple showed their family around and where they'd be staying.

 

 

"This is wonderful, boys.." Carole said sweetly.

 

 

"It's not very big.. But I can afford it," Blaine said.

 

 

"It's perfect. " Carole said softly.

 

 

"Thank you." Blaine smiled.

 

 

Finn smiled as he looked around. Kurt shuffled his feet nervously.

 

 

"Kurt, why don't we go for a walk? I'd love to see what it's like around here." Carole asked.

 

 

Kurt nodded, looking up at his step-mother.

 

 

Blaine waited for them to leave before looking to Finn. "How's Rachel?"

 

 

"She's good. She wanted to come with us, but she has to work."

 

 

Blaine nodded. "What about the tire shop?"

 

 

"I'm keepin' up with it. It's hard without Burt.." Finn admitted.

 

 

"I'm sure. I've thought about moving back.."

 

 

"Really?.." Finn asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

 

"I haven't mentioned it to Kurt." Blaine said. "It would be easier. He'd be around more people he knows. But I'm scared he'll have to go back.."

 

 

"Go back where?.."

 

 

"The hospital." Blaine said quietly.

 

 

"Why do you think he'll have to go back?.."

 

 

"I can't.. I can't say.."

 

 

"You can tell me, Blaine.."

 

 

"He doesn't like taking his medicine. When he doesn't.. Claude comes out. And he's a lot worse than what you got to see last time you were here."

 

 

"What happened?.."

 

 

"It doesn't really matter, I guess. It just.. worries me.." Blaine said quietly.

 

 

"Has he been better about it lately?.." Finn asked quietly.

 

 

"Yeah. He's had two or three slips. But after the last one, he's been good.."

 

 

"That's good, " Finn nodded.

 

 

"He really wants a kid.."

 

 

"Could he..handle it?.." Finn asked, sitting on the couch.

 

 

"He doesn't think he can. But Elizabeth came out yesterday. She thinks it would give him a reason to work on getting better," Blaine explained.

 

 

Finn nodded. The personalities still confused him a bit, but he understood.

 

 

"I mean, I really want that. But not yet.. I have to know he's better.."

 

 

"How will you know?.." Finn asked.

 

 

"I don't know." Blaine sighed. He really wanted to talk about what happened. But he knew if someone else knew, they'd want to send him back."

 

 

"It's gonna be okay, dude.." Finn said, placing his hand on Blaine's shoulder.

 

 

"I hope so.."

 

 

Kurt and Carole were walking down the street. The older woman couldn't help but notice how he was clutching to her hand like a frightened child.   
"What's going on, sweetie?" She asked.

 

 

"Yesterday I found out Blaine was engaged to someone. ." He said quickly.

 

 

Carole raised her eyebrows. "And he never told you before?"

 

 

"I found pictures in a box and his old ring.."

 

 

"Did you ask him about it?"

 

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing her hand.

 

 

"What did he say?"

 

 

"He's not me and he doesn't want to be with him.."

 

 

"Do you know why they broke it off?" Carole asked.

 

 

"No..He never told me.."

 

 

"You should talk to him, Kurt."

 

 

"There's nothing to talk about..He's already told me it's over.." Kurt said, looking down.

 

 

"But you're still worried about it." Carole observed.

 

 

"I just don't know.." Kurt whispered, his heart speeding up.

 

 

"Well, when the time is right, you should talk to him."

 

 

Kurt nodded, leaning against his step mother.

 

 

"Are you feeling better now that you're home?"

 

 

Kurt nodded. "It's still hard sometimes.." he said as they sat on a bench.

 

 

"Tell me about it."

 

 

"The voices get louder when I'm home alone..It's hard not to hurt myself. ." Kurt said, laying across the bench and letting his head rest in her lap.

 

 

Carole petted his hair. "How do you ignore them? Or go against them?"

 

 

"Think about Blaine.."

 

 

"Does it help much?"

 

 

"A little..I still do it sometimes but where Blaine cant see.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Why, Kurt?"

 

 

"It helps.." Kurt said, looking up at her.

 

 

Carole sighed. "I wish you'd find a way that doesn't hurt you."

 

 

Kurt looked back down. He didn't want Carole to be upset with him.

 

 

"I just care about you."

 

 

"That's what everyone says.."

 

 

"Because we do." Carole said seriously.

 

 

Kurt sighed, nuzzling into her shirt. "Please don't tell Blaine.."

 

 

"I won't.."

 

 

"Thank you.."

 

 

Carole just nodded. Kurt laid there, feeling Carole against him..

 

 

"I've missed you, sweetie.."

 

 

"I've missed you too, mom.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

Tears welled in Carole's eyes. Kurt rarely called her mom but when he did, it really warmed her heart. Kurt wrapped his arms around her middle, sighing softly.   
"I love you, sweetie.." Carole said quietly.

 

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered. They stayed out for a while before going back to the apartment. Finn and Blaine were in the kitchen when they walked inside, Kurt still holding Carole's hand tightly.

 

 

"Hey. How was your walk?" Blaine asked.

 

 

"Good." Kurt said, looking down.

 

 

"You okay babe?"

 

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Carole's hand lightly as he looked up at Blaine. "I-I'm gonna go take a bath.."

 

 

"Okay. Call if you need something."

 

 

Kurt slowly let go of Carole's hand and walked off to the bathroom, quickly opening the drawer and pulling out Blaine's razor. He just had the explainable urge to break the tool and pull the sharp blades out so he could drag them across his skin. Maybe it was because he talked about Sebastian with Carole, but he felt like he needed this..

 

 

"I'll be right back," Carole said. She had a bad feeling when Kurt squeezed her hand. Almost as if he was asking for help. She walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

 

 

"O-One minute!" Kurt called.

 

 

"Kurt..Its me.."

 

 

"I-I'll be right out.." Kurt stammered, trying to stop the bleeding from his arm and cleaning up the blood that spilled onto the white counter.

 

 

"Please don't do this, Kurt.."

 

 

Kurt closed his eyes as he panted. "Please don't tell Blaine."

 

 

"Open up." Carole said seriously. Kurt slowly cracked the door open, tears filling his eyes. Carole gasped at the sight of blood. She pushed the door open and grabbed a towel to apply pressure to the cut. Kurt hissed at the pain, immediately ashamed as Carole saw him. Why did everyone care so much? Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

 

 

"You don't need to do this." Carole said as softly as she could. "I'm here. Finn's here. Blaine is here for you."

 

 

Kurt didn't say anything, closing his eyes to keep the tears from escaping. Carole cleaned him up before starting on the counter. "I'm sorry.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Please, Kurt.. This isn't good for you.."

 

 

"It helps..It helps me feel better..A-And Blaine said he doesn't mind my scars.."

 

 

"I'm sure he didn't mean it that way. It hurts him. All of us when you hurt yourself."

 

 

Kurt sighed, nodding. Now he didn't even have this to escape anything. "Are you going to tell him?.." Kurt asked.

 

 

Carole shook her head. "We can find another way."

 

 

"Another way to what?" Kurt asked, smoothing over the bandage Carole applied before pulling his sleeve down.

 

 

"To let this all out. I'll help you."

 

 

Kurt nodded as she finished cleaning before hugging her close.

 

 

"I love you, Kurt.. I just want you with us as long as possible."

 

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered, his voice breaking at the end.

 

 

"Let it out, sweetie." Carole said.

 

 

Kurt finally let the intense weight on his shoulders fall as the tears escaped him. His chest was heaving as he took deep swallows of air, clutching to her shirt. "I-I just hate m-myself for doing this to h-him.." Kurt sobbed.

 

 

"Oh, Kurt.. Don't. Blaine wants to be here. He wants you, sweetie."

 

 

"I don't understand w-why.." he hiccuped.

 

 

"Because he's in love with you. There's nothing that could change that."

 

 

Kurt bit his lip, closing his eyes as he let her hold him. Did Blaine really love him that much?..

 

Carole kissed Kurt's forehead to soothe him.

 

They stayed like that for a while. He missed this so much.. after a few more minutes they walked out of the bathroom and back to the kitchen.  
"Come sit with me." Finn smiled at his brother. Kurt nodded, sitting at the table. He instinctively leaned over, resting his body against Finn's.

 

 

Finn smiled. "So, what do you do when Blaine's not home?"

 

 

"Read..Listen to music..Sometimes I clean. Just find things to do." Kurt said, picking at a splinter of wood on the table.

 

 

"Do you go outside much?"

 

 

"I walk down the street to the library sometimes." Kurt said softly.

 

 

"What do you read about?" Finn asked.

 

 

"Anything."

 

 

"He's been reading a lot of parenting books lately.." Blaine smiled.

 

 

"Parenting?" Carole asked. "Are you two trying to start a family?"

 

 

"We've been thinking about it.." Blaine said softly, giving Kurt a light smile.

 

 

"I really want a daughter.." Kurt said quietly.

 

 

"I think you'd make a great dad, Kurt.." Finn smiled.

 

 

"Really?" Kurt asked, looking at Finn with wide eyes.

 

 

"Really.."

 

 

Kurt smiled at his stepbrother. "Thank you."

 

 

"You're welcome.." Finn said sweetly. Kurt relaxed against Finn and sighed softly.

 

 

"If everything goes well and you feel up to it, we could start looking into it at the beginning of next month.." Blaine said softly.

 

 

"Do you think I-I'm ready?"

 

 

"You might be by then.." Carole said.

 

 

"I hope so.."

 

 

She walked over, kissing his forehead softly.

 

 

A while later, Blaine and Carole were sitting outside.   
"I really missed you Blaine.." Carole smiled.

 

 

"I missed you too, Carole."

 

 

"While we were walking..Kurt brought up something that concerned me.."

 

 

Blaine looked over at Carole worriedly. "What is it?"

 

 

"He said something about you being engaged to someone?.."

 

 

"Oh.. Yeah, I was.."

 

 

"He just seemed really upset about it.." Carole said softly.

 

 

"But I told him that I left Sebastian for him. I'm with Kurt. I want to be here."

 

 

"He told me he knows that.."

 

 

"So what's troubling Kurt?"

 

 

"I just think maybe he might be upset because you didn't tell him more about it.." Carole said, looking at Blaine.

 

 

"He was already so upset. I had to calm him down. He would've hurt himself if I kept going." Blaine said.

 

 

Carole nodded. "Maybe you should try talking to him.."

 

 

"I don't know if he'd want to hear it.." Blaine said quietly.

 

 

"I think it would help."

 

 

Blaine sighed. He hadn't told anyone what he did to Sebastian.

 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Carole asked.

 

 

"I just..left one day.. He proposed and it was great. But, I started wondering about Kurt and if we still had a chance.. So I left and went to find him.."

 

 

"So..You never actually left him?.."

 

 

Blaine shook his head in shame. Carole was unsure of what to say. "Blaine..I think you need to call him.."

 

 

"He'll hate me. And Kurt.. He'll be scared I'll go back to him.."

 

 

"Blaine..He deserves to know.." Carole said. Her voice soft, yet serious.

 

 

"You're right.. Maybe I can while you're here..? In case Kurt needs you?"

 

 

"That sounds perfect. " Carole smiled.

 

 

"Thank you," Blaine said quietly.

 

 

"You're welcome sweetie. She said, leaning over to hug him.

 

 

"I know you're just now seeing him. But do you think he's okay..?"

 

 

He's better than the last time I saw him. He never even recognized me.." Carole sighed.

 

 

Blaine nodded, so many thoughts filling his mind.

 

 

"You okay?" She asked softly.

 

 

Blaine nodded. "Just.. So much has happened in the past few weeks."

 

 

"You're handling it well " The older woman said.

 

 

"I'm just glad I can work again.."

 

 

"What stopped you?.."

 

 

Blaine froze, refusing to look at Carole. She always could tell when someone was lying. "I was in the hospital. Had a few bruised ribs."

 

 

"What happened? " She asked. She was already in 'concerned mother' mode.

 

 

"I got jumped by some random guys on my way home." Blaine said.

 

 

"Blaine.." Carole sighed. "Don't lie to me."

 

 

"Carole..." Blaine whispered. He couldn't tell her.

 

 

Carole's eyebrows kneaded together as she realized. "Kurt...?"

 

 

"He didn't mean to.."

 

 

"What happened?.." She asked quietly.

 

 

Blaine gave a shakily breath, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he explained.

 

 

"Blaine..He might need to go back.."

 

 

"No." Blaine said quickly. "He's taking his medicine. He's getting better. I can't do that to him."

 

 

"What about you?..This is taking so much out of you, Blaine.." Carole said seriously.

 

 

"I don't care what I go through or what I have to do. I promised him I'd bring him home and we'd start a family. I-I can't.. I can't take him back."

 

 

"But what happens if after you have that little girl, Kurt stops taking his medicine again?" Carole asked calmly.

 

 

"He won't. Seeing her will make him try harder. And I'll watch. I'll make sure." Blaine said seriously.

 

 

Carole sighed softly. "Blaine..In the end, it's up to you..but I don't know.."

 

 

"Me neither.." Blaine admitted quietly.

 

 

"We'll just have to see.." Carole said.

 

 

Blaine perked up as he heard the crackle of his record player playing. He leaned over, looking in through the door. Kurt was standing with Finn in the living room, showing him where to place his hands and correcting his posture before they started to dance. Kurt laughed loudly as Finn stepped on his foot and shoved him playfully before they began to dance again.

"He's so happy.." Blaine said softly.

 

 

Carole looked inside as well, smiling at the sight. "He is.."

 

 

"Do you think he could handle moving back home..?"

 

 

"I think it would be good for him.." Carole said softly.

 

 

"I'm going to talk to him soon.."

 

 

Carole nodded as Kurt walked over. "Dance with me." He said, holding his hand out to Blaine. Blaine took his hand and grinned as he followed. Kurt smiled, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and resting their foreheads together. Carole watched the men dance in front of her. She was so thankful for Blaine.

"I missed you.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"I missed you too baby."

 

 

Kurt grinned, pressing his lips to Blaine's. "I love you.."

 

 

"I love you more than anything." Blaine said softly.

 

 

"When we have our little girl I hope she looks like you.."

 

 

"Why?" Blaine asked.

 

 

"Because you're beautiful."

 

 

"You're sweet.. I want to talk to you about something.."

 

 

"What is it?."

 

 

"How would you feel about moving to Ohio?" Blaine asked softly.

 

 

Kurt pulled back slightly. "I-I don't remember much about Ohio.."

 

 

"I know. But Finn and Carole will be there. Rachel too."

 

 

Kurt looked down. "When do you wanna go?.."

 

 

"I don't know. Do you even want to go?" Blaine asked. "It's up to both of us."

 

 

"I..I kind of want to..I just don't remember.." Kurt admitted.

 

 

"Well, we can start with a visit. Go look at houses and see everyone."

 

 

"Can we afford to move?.."

 

 

"I'll make it work. I can go and work with Finn. He took over your dad's tire shop."

 

 

"He did?.." Kurt asked. "I..I want to help somehow..."

 

 

"I'm sure that would work. Then we'd both work and have a little more money." Blaine smiled.

 

 

Kurt smiled wide. "Really?"

 

 

Blaine nodded. "Does that sound good?"

 

 

"I'd love that..When can we..think about having a baby?.."

 

 

"I think we should get settled in Ohio then get that started."

 

 

Kurt nodded, sighing softly. "Blaine..I have to tell you something.."

 

 

"What is it..?"

 

 

"Carole saw earlier. .But..I've still been..I.." Kurt sighed, looking down. "I just think if we're going to be taking these next s-steps together. .we should be honest with each other.." he whispered, his hand twitching slightly.

 

 

Blaine took Kurt's hands. "Whatever it is, I won't get mad. I'll help you however I can."

 

 

Kurt pulled his sleeve up, revealing the bandage Carole put on him earlier.

 

 

Blaine gasped. "Kurt.."

 

 

"I'm sorry..I've. .Ive been doing it...in places you wouldn't see.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Shh.. We'll work through this.." Blaine said quietly, pulling Kurt close and almost forgetting they had company. "We'll get through this."

 

 

Kurt nodded as the record stopped and the taller looked over. "Thank you.."

 

 

"I love you.."

 

 

"I love you too.."

 

 

Blaine turned to look at Carole. "How long are you staying?"

 

 

"Two days if that's fine. You two can come back with us to look at houses.."

 

 

"Id like that. I just have to talk to my boss." Blaine said.

 

 

Carole nodded, smiling.

 

 

They sat around and talked for a while before finn helped Blaine get the air mattresses ready. Carole said goodnight before retiring to the bedroom. Kurt, Blaine and Finn laid on their respective air mattresses, kurt holding Blaine close.

"Goodnight." Blaine said softly.

 

 

Kurt smiled to himself. He waited until he heard Finn's gentle snores before he reached between Blaine's legs. Blaine gasped. "Kurt.."

 

 

"Hmm?.." Kurt hummed.

 

 

"What are you doing..?"

 

 

"Touching you."

 

 

"But Finn.."

 

 

"Shh.." Kurt whispered, reaching into his husband's boxers and cupping his balls. Blaine's eyes slipped close as a small gasped him. Kurt grinned, kissing Blaine as he massaged them slowly.  
"Kurt.." Blaine moaned quietly. Kurt let his hand roam up, tracing his fingertips up his shaft before pulling away, turning over and pushing his ass back. Blaine gripped Kurt's hips and rolled his body against his husband. Kurt gasped softly, bringing a hand up and placing it on the back of Blaine's neck.  
"What if he wakes up..?"

 

 

"I-I don't know..Just..Ah Don't stop.."

 

 

Blaine kissed Kurt's neck and moaned to his ear. "What do you want baby?"

 

 

"I want you inside of me.."

 

 

Blaine gasped, licking his palm and slicking himself up. Kurt gasve a soft sigh, rolling his hips. Blaine pulled their boxers down, placing himself at Kurt's entrance. Kurt lifted one of his legs, looking back over his shoulder. He needed this distraction..This always cleared his mind.. Blaine spread Kurt and slowly pressed in. Kurt gave a small gasp, pushing his hips back more. Blaine held his breath to keep his moan in. Kurt gave a barely audible moan, pulling on the hair at the nape of Blaine's neck. Blaine bit and kissed Kurt's neck as he moved his hips. Kurt pulled a bit harder, leaning back more against Blaine as he felt the hot drag of Blaine sliding in and out of him. "Baby.." Blaine whispered hotly.

 

 

"Fuck me.." Kurt breathed out. Blaine quickened his thrusts, doing everything he could to keep quiet. Kurt couldn't stop the soft cry that burst from his lips as Blaine hit his prostate. "Ah!"

 

 

"Shh.. Baby shh.." Blaine whispered.

 

 

"You..you feel so good.." Kurt said, just as quietly.

 

 

"You too baby.. So good.."

 

 

Kurt gave a quiet moan, Moving his body with Blaine's. Blaine sped up, scratching down Kurt's chest. The taller shivered, arching his back. "Ungh..yes.."

 

 

"Oh fuck, Kurt."

 

 

They continued like that until Kurt was having a hard time being quiet.

 

 

"Baby.." Blaine gasped as his thrusts became erratic. Kurt squeezed the sheets, whimpering quietly as he got closer. Blaine panted against Kurt's neck. He pulled Kurt closer as they came together. Kurt whined as he reached his release. "Blaine.." He whispered.

 

 

Blaine moaned in Kurt's ear before turning his head to kiss him. Kurt returned the kiss, breathing heavily through his nose. Blaine hummed as he slowly pulled out. Kurt gave a quiet gasp, smiling to himself. "So good.."

 

 

"You're so sexy, Kurt.."

 

 

Kurt blushed, closing his eyes before gasping quietly as he heard Claude's voice in his ear..  
"Jesus, you really are a slut.."

 

 

"No.." Kurt whimpered in his mind.

 

 

"Every time you have a little bit of anxiety you bend over, waiting for his cock.."

 

 

"He loves me!" Kurt yelled back, his body tensing next to Blaine.

 

 

"Please.." Claude scoffed. "You're just his live-in whore."

 

 

Kurt shook his head. "No.. No..Nonono.."

 

 

Blaine sat up slightly. "Kurt?.."

 

 

"No.." Kurt whimpered, trying to push Claude away.

 

 

"That's all you're good for. A fuck. You take it so well like the cockslut you are.." Claude growled.

 

 

Kurt clutched to Blaine. "Go away.. You're wrong. Blaine loves me!"

 

 

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, kissing his forehead. "It's okay baby..I'm here..I love you so much.."

 

 

"Don't let him lie to you, Kurt. He was going to marry someone else. Not you. He just wants you for your ass." Claude said maliciously.

 

 

Kurt gasped softly. "Shut up!"

 

 

"He felt sorry for you. That's why he's still here. You saw those pictures. Blaine was so happy. He's not with you. He'll never be completely happy with you!"

 

 

Kurt pulled away from Blaine, jumping up and rushing into the bathroom. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! I hate you!!" He cried out, pulling his hair.

 

 

Finn sat up quickly and groaned. "What's going on?"

 

 

"I don't know. " Blaine said before getting up and rushing to the bathroom. He jiggled the handle and found it locked.

 

 

"Why can't you just let me be happy?.." Kurt sobbed.

 

 

"You aren't meant to be happy. You're crazy. He'll never love you."

 

 

"He does love me..A-And he says I'm not crazy!" Kurt got out.

 

 

"Then why do you have voices in your head? Why do you hurt yourself? Deep down, you know this wont work. He'll want more. You won't live up to the Kurt he thinks you are."

 

 

Kurt couldn't breathe, everything felt like it was crashing down on him as he cowered in the corner.  
"H-He love..loves me.."

 

 

"Don't lie to yourself." Claude whispered. "You know how to get rid of it."

 

 

"W-what?..." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"You know where the razors are. Do it, Kurt. You know you want it."

 

 

Kurt shook his head. "No..I wont.." He whispered as Blaine knocked on the door.

 

 

"Finn! Get me the screwdriver. It's in the junk drawer in the kitchen." Blaine called to his brother-in-law. He wouldn't let Kurt hurt himself. "Baby? Open up! It's me.. I'm here.."

 

 

"Blaine.." Kurt whispered, too terrified to move fron the corner.

 

 

"Don't listen to him, Kurt. I'm here. I'm never leaving. I promise."

 

 

"W-What about Sebastian?.."

 

 

"I left him, baby. I came back for you. Please, come out and we can talk about this."

 

 

"I can't." Kurt whimpered as Finn came back with the screwdriver. Blaine worked on taking the door knob off. It took a few minutes but he got it and pushed the door open. Kurt looked up at his husband, tears streaming down his red cheeks. Blaine knelt down and pulled Kurt close. "Calm down baby.. I'll tell you anything you want to know.."

 

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine and holding onto him like a lifeline. Blaine pulled Kurt into his lap and held him. Kurt wrapped his arms and legs around Blaine, letting himself cry.

"I love you.. I love you so much.." Blaine whispered as he rubbed Kurt's back.

 

 

"I-I love you too.." Kurt said, his body trembling.

 

 

"Take deep breaths baby.."

 

 

Kurt slowly calmed down, sniffing lightly.

 

 

"Come on. I'll make some warm milk for you."

 

 

"Okay.."

 

 

Carole met the in the kitchen. "Is he okay?"

 

 

Blaine nodded. "He's fine..He just had a moment."

 

 

"Can I help with anything?"

 

 

"I'm okay..Ill just make him some warm milk and he'll go to sleep.." Blaine sighed.

 

 

"Wake me up if you need anything." Carole said softly. She kissed her sons before going back to bed.

 

 

Kurt sat at the table, leaning against Finn with his eyes closed.

 

 

"Are you okay?" Finn asked softly.

 

 

Kurt nodded slowly, wrapping an arm around his middle. Finn hugged his brother as blaine got the milk from the microwave. Kurt perked up, happily taking the mug. "I'm sorry I woke everyone up.."

 

 

"Its okay baby. Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked.

 

 

"I just..Claude started talking about Sebastian.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Who's Sebastian?" Finn asked.

 

 

Blaine sighed, knowing he needed to explain. "Kurt and I had been broken up for a couple years. I met Sebastian and eventually he proposed. I said yes but I started thinking about Kurt. I had to know if we still had a chance. So, one day, I left to find Kurt. I didn't tell him.."

 

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine, his eyebrows kneading together. "You..didn't tell him?.."

 

 

"No.." Blaine said quietly. "I saw you and knew what I wanted.. I should tell him. I need to tell him."

 

 

Kurt didn't know what to say as he stared at Blaine.

 

 

"You don't have to say anything. I know. I'm terrible. But I couldn't go back after seeing you. I felt so guilty for leaving.."

 

 

"Y-You're not terrible..But you couldn't break it of with your /fiance/ before coming back to me?"

 

 

"I didn't think! I saw you and nothing else mattered to me. I know it's fucked up, alright?"

 

 

"Stop it.." Kurt said seriously. "You have to fix this.."

 

 

"I know. I'm going to do it before Carole leaves."

 

 

Kurt ran a hand through his hair, pulling lightly.

 

 

"Kurt, I don't want you worrying about this." Blaine said seriously.

 

 

"What else am I supposed to do?.."

 

 

"Let me handle it."

 

 

Kurt nodded, sipping his milk slowly.

 

 

"I'll tell you everything. I just want you to know that I'm coming back to you."

 

 

"Do you still love him?..at all?"

 

 

"It's hard to explain. I do. But there's only one person someone can call 'the one'. And for me, that's you." Blaine said as he took one of Kurt's hands.

 

 

"You love him?.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Not like I love you."

 

 

Kurt just shook his head. "I'm going to sleep with Carole. ." He got out, standing and walking to the bedroom.

 

 

Blaine sighed. "This is why I never said anything."

 

 

"It's a good thing you did, though.." Finn said softly.

 

 

"I don't know.."

 

 

"It's better than hiding it, dude.." Finn said,, patting Blaine's back.

 

 

"Thanks," Blaine said quietly before going back to his air mattress. Kurt climbed into the bed, carefully cuddling up to his step mother and holding back tears. 

 

"What's wrong sweetie?" Carole asked.

 

 

"Blaine told me about Sebastian..H-He said he still loves him..Not like he loves me..But still..It hurts.."

 

 

"Oh, sweetie.." Carole said softly, holding Kurt close.

 

 

Kurt sniffed lightly. "He said it was only me.."

 

 

"Because he knows he only wants to be with you. I loved my husband before I met your father."

 

 

"But..I.." Kurt whispered, "I just want to be happy.."

 

 

"You will be. With Blaine," Carole said softly.

 

 

Kurt sniffed, nuzzling closer. "I love you.."

 

 

"I love you too, Kurt."

 

 

Kurt sighed, closing his eyes. "I just want this to be over.."

 

 

"What to be over?"

 

 

"Everything.."

 

 

"Kurt, it'll get better."

 

 

"It's like..One step forward and two steps back..He would be so much happier living a normal life with Sebastian...I'll never be able to give him that.."

 

 

"He wants that with you. He wants a family with you." Carole said, holding Kurt close.

 

 

"I can't make him happy..He's always worrying about me..Im just a load on him.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"That's not true. Blaine loves you more than anything. He doesn't have to be here. He wants to be."

 

 

Kurt shook his head. He just felt like a burden to everyone around him.

 

 

"This will work. You have to believe it. I do.."

 

 

"It's so hard.." Kurt got out.

 

 

"I know. But hey, you'll be moving to Ohio and you'll have all of us."

 

 

Kurt nodded. "C-can I sleep with you tonight?.."

 

 

"Of course." Carole said, kissing his head. Kurt cuddled up to her closer, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep. Carole tried getting him to relax until she fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning Kurt didn't want to move. He felt so warm and protected in Carole's arms. It was almost like when Elizabeth held him when he was young. Carole smiled as she woke up. "Morning.."

 

Kurt just made a noise, burying his face in the blanket. Carole chuckled as she stretched.

 

"I don't wanna get up.."

 

"So, stay in bed," Carole grinned. "You want me to make breakfast?"

 

Kurt nodded, hugging his pillow. "Can you get Blaine too?.."

 

"Sure thing, sweetie."

 

"Thank you.." Kurt said quietly. Carole kissed his forehead before getting out of bed. Kurt lay there for a bit, staring at the ceiling as the quiet whispers began buzzing through his head.

 

Blaine came in a few minutes later. "Good morning.."

 

"Morning.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"How are you..?"

 

"I missed you last night. .But I had a lot to think about..

 

"I understand. I missed you too." Blaine said softly.

 

"I want Sebastian to come to dinner tonight."

 

Blaine's eyes went wide. "What..? Why?"

 

"So we can work it out.."

 

"I'll call him.." Blaine sighed.

 

Kurt nodded and curled back up in bed. Blaine bad no idea what Kurt was doing, but he only hoped it went well. What if Claude came out? Being around Sebastian might make Kurt mad..

 

"Come lay with me.." Kurt said quietly. Blaine nodded, climbing into bed. Kurt cuddled up to Blaine, sighing happily.

 

"I love you." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you too.."

 

Blaine closed his eyes, hoping things would go smoothly.

 

Later that day, Blaine walked out on the balcony with Carole so he could call Sebastian. He was almost shaking as he dialed the number and waited for the answer.

 

"Hello?" Sebastian answered.

 

"Sebastian? I-It's me.. Blaine.."

 

Sebastian was quiet for a long time. He was so quiet Blaine thought he might've hung up.   
"Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah.." Blaine said quietly. "Please don't hang up.."

 

"Where the fuck have you been?..You just don't come home one day? No call? Nothing!"

 

"I'm sorry.. I.. I should've told you.."

 

"Yes, you should've..Just..Where the hell are you?"

 

"I have an apartment.."

 

"Where?..We..We can just forget about this and you can come home.." Sebastian sighed.

 

Blaine bit his lip. He did t want to do this. "I can't do that.. This won't be easy for you to hear.."

 

"What?..Do you like have a boyfriend or something?..If there was someone else, you could've just told me instead of taking the ring Blaine..Fuck..Baby..Just come home.." Sebastian said quietly.

 

"I was scared, Sebastian. I was happy with you but.. I kept thinking about Kurt. About if there was a chance.. I found him." Blaine explained quickly. "He needed me.. He needs me.."

 

"And you think I don't? I've been fucking miserable without you, Blaine!"

 

"Not like this.."

 

"There is absolutely no reason you should stay with him Blaine. He didn't want you. You didn't have sex for months. For fuck's sake Blaine don't go crawling back to him when I am practically begging you to come back to me after you fucked me over!"

 

"Sebastian, please.. You don't know what happened.. Look.. I'm sure you don't want to. But Kurt wants you to come over for dinner.."

 

Sebastian gave a bitter laugh. "Oh this is just perfect..Fine..But I expect to be leaving with you."

 

"Bas.."

 

"Just give me the address.."

 

Blaine gave it to him before getting off the phone and sighing. "This is going to be a disaster."

 

"Blaine...Its going to be okay..Finn and I will be here.."

 

"I'm scared for Kurt.. Sebastian can be..controlling.."

 

"How so?.." Carole asked quietly.

 

"He didn't like me around other guys much. He said he expects me to leave with him tonight.. And I'm not doing that.."

 

Carole nodded. "It's okay.." she repeated. Blaine sat down, trying to relax.

 

"Come on, let's start on dinner.."

 

Blaine nodded, getting back up and following Carole.

 

A couple of hours later, Kurt looked up as there was a knock on the door. Blaine got up before Kurt could and opened it. "Hey.."

 

Sebastian smiled, pulling Blaine into a hug. "Hey.."

 

Kurt watched the display and his blood boiled, "Excuse me.."

 

Blaine pulled back. "Sebastian.. This is Kurt."

 

"His husband." Kurt added.

 

"Husband? " Sebastian snapped, turning to stare at Blaine.

 

"Umm.. Yeah.." Blaine said awkwardly.

 

"What the fuck.." Sebastian groaned.

 

"Dinner's ready!" Carole called.

 

Blaine didn't say anything as he lead Sebastian and Kurt to the table. "This is Carole and Finn. Kurt's mom and brother."

 

"Hi.." Sebastian said, trying to swallow his anger.

 

"It's nice to meet you." Carole said softly.

 

Kurt sat down. "Blaine..." he said, patting the seat next to him. Blaine slid into the chair and motioned for Sebastian to sit across from him. Sebastian sat and Kurt scooted closer to Blaine, his hand twitching slightly as he pulled at his sleeve. Blaine rested a hand on Kurt's leg, giving a reassuring squeeze. They began to eat, the tension thick in the air.

 

"So..We just wanted to tell you Blaine is done with you." Kurt said simply, looking at Sebastian.

 

"That's not your choice now, is it? I believe that's Blaine's decision." Sebastian said, glaring at Kurt.

 

"We're married. " Kurt snapped.

 

"And technically he never broke off our engagement. What is that called? Oh, right. Cheating."

 

"He told me he doesn't want you anymore.." Kurt said darkly. His pulse was rushing as he stared at Sebastian.

 

"Kurt, please calm down.." Blaine said, starting to worry.

 

"I want you out of our life.." Kurt whispered.

 

"You really think you're better for him.? Can you provide for him? What do you do, Kurt?" Sebastian challenged.

 

Kurt paused. "I..I help at home."

 

Sebastian laughed. "You're serious?"

 

Kurt exhaled sharply. "Money doesn't matter..He loves me and hes done with you.."

 

"Blaine?" Sebastian asked. "Anything you want to add."

 

"Sebastian, please.." Blaine sighed.

 

"What? You invited me here. You must've wanted me here."

 

"It was Kurt's idea.."

 

"You're actually happier now? With him?" Sebastian asked in disbelief. "I gave you everything."

 

"He is." Kurt spat.

 

"Blaine's a big boy. He can answer for himself." Sebastian said, his voice condescending.

 

Kurt growled, clutching the edge of the table.

 

"Okay. I think we all can relax and enjoy dinner." Carole said.

 

Kurt slammed his hands down on the table before standing and yelling at Sebastian in a deep growl. " Vous restez loin de lui ou je te tue! Je n'ai pas peur d'y retourner! Sortez de notre vie!"  
( You stay away from him or I'll kill you! I am not afraid to go back! Get out of our life!)

 

Sebastian sat back in his chair, a little terrified.

 

Blaine stood, holding Kurt back. "Shh.. Calm down, please."

 

Kurt's chest was heaving..That wasn't him..But it wasn't Claude. .What just happened?..He took a deep breath. Claude was fighting to get out, but he couldn't let him.

 

"You're fucking crazy.." Sebastian said seriously.

 

"Do not call him that!" Blaine defended, pulling Kurt close and trying to calm him.

 

Kurt was shaking and then it all went blank.

 

Claude ripped himself away from Blaine, almost jumping over the table, but stopping halfway as Blaine grabbed him by his thighs, his upper half slamming down onto the table. Carole gasped as Finn got up and helped pull Claude back. Finn locked an arm around his neck, and another around his waist. Claude laughed loudly. "I just wanted to play with him for a second!"

 

"What the fuck is wrong with him?!" Sebastian yelled.

 

Blaine grabbed Sebastian's arm and pulled him out onto the balcony. "Nothing is wrong with him.."

 

"Blaine! Wake up!" Sebastian yelled. "Look at him. What the hell was that?"

 

"He's sick!" Blaine yelled back, tears filling his eyes.

 

Sebastian immediately backed down. "What's wrong with him?"

 

"He..He has DID..He has multiple personalities and he has schizophrenia..It's not his fault.."

 

"Shit.." Sebastian sighed.

 

Blaine stayed silent, wiping his eyes.

 

"That's why you didn't come back.."

 

"And because I love him.."

 

"You don't love me..?"

 

"I do..But..Kurt..he's just.." Blaine whispered. "He's the one.."

 

Sebastian nodded sadly. "Okay.."

 

"I'm sorry, Bas.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Can't change it." Sebastian sighed. Blaine looked down, tearing up again. "I should go.."

 

"Sebastian I wanted closure..Not this.."

 

"I don't know what to say. I came home and you were gone. Now you're married."

 

"I know, and I'm the worst person in the world for it.."

 

"I just.. You changed me." Sebastian said quietly. "I really thought I'd only be with you.."

 

"I know, Sebastian...I thought we would be together forever.." Blaine whispered.

 

"So when did it change..? Why after so long?"

 

"I needed to know..I needed to know if he still wanted me.."

 

"But why couldn't you say something when I asked you to marry me?" Sebastian asked desperately.

 

"Because I wanted to marry you.." Blaine said, grabbing his hands.

 

Sebastian bit his lip. "Really..?"

 

"Yes.."

 

Sebastian have a sad smile. "I was so scared something had happened to you.."

 

"I'm okay.." Blaine said softly.

 

"Without me.."

 

"Sebastian."

 

"I don't know how you do it." Sebastian said, shaking his head.

 

"Do what?.."

 

"You saw that in there. How he reacted. I'm sure it can get worse that that."

 

"It was..It was way worse.."

 

"How so?"

 

"Just..He didn't know who I was..He was violent..that's why he has those scars on his face.."

 

Sebastian shook his head. "Can I ask what happened?"

 

"I don't know if I should say.."

 

"You don't have to."

 

Blaine nodded. "Well..He was raped..And..I think he might've developed PTSD..And he didn't want to be touched or have sex..But I didn't know what happened so I assumed he just didn't want me.."

 

"Oh my god." Sebastian gasped. "I don't know how you do it.."

 

"I just love him.."

 

Sebastian swallowed dryly, trying to hold back his tears. "I should go.."

 

Blaine looked down. "You know I still love you.."

 

"Please don't say that.. It hurts.. I-I miss you.."

 

"I miss you too.."

 

Sebastian turned around, not knowing what to say.

 

"Are you okay?.."

 

"Yeah."

 

Blaine sighed, pulling Sebastian into a hug..

 

Sebastian cursed himself as a single tear escaped him. "I feel like I did something wrong.."

 

You didn't..."

 

Sebastian shrugged as he held Blaine close.

 

"It wasn't you, Sebastian. ." Blaine said against his shoulder.

 

"No.. It was always him.."

 

Blaine bit his lip, closing his eyes.

 

"You should get back to him.."

 

Blaine nodded. "Thank you so much for coming.."

 

Sebastian just gave a forced smile. Blaine looked up at him for a moment before standing on his toes to kiss his cheek softly.

 

"I'll miss you.."

 

"I'll miss you too.." Blaine whispered.

 

Sebastian sighed, slowly walking back inside. "Well, nice to meet you two.."

 

Carole and Finn nodded, "It was nice to meet you as well.. " Carole said softly.

 

Sebastian took one more lingering look at his ex. "Do you still want the ring..?"

 

"Do..Do you want it back?.." Blaine asked.

 

Sebastian thought for a moment. "Fuck it.. I guess it wasn't every really important.. Sell it, I guess." He said, turning for the door.

 

"Sebastian..I'm not going to sell it.." Blaine said.

 

"Why do you want it?" He asked, facing the door.

 

"As a reminder..For memories.."

 

"Fine. Have a nice life, Blaine."

 

"Sebastian don't be bitter towards me. "

 

"Bitter? I'm not the one that disappeared. I'm not the one saying I want a ring for memories but get out of my life."

 

"Well if you want your fucking ring back, I'll go and get it." Blaine spat.

 

Sebastian groaned. "What don't you get? This isn't really about a fucking ring! It's about you! You call me and invite me over to tell me you never want to see me again? You must love this. Congrats, Blaine. You're the only one that could break my heart and you're doing it all over again."

 

"This isn't what I wanted! I wanted closure! I wanted to try and fix this.."

 

"Well, I hope you got your closure because I sure as hell didn't."

 

Blaine teared up for the millionth time that day. "Just go.."

 

Sebastian shook his head and held his tears in as he looked to Blaine. He waited a moment before finally leaving. Blaine closed his eyes, leaning against the wall as he started to cry softly.

 

Carole sighed as she walked over and pulled Blaine close. Maybe getting away from New York was the best thing for them.

 

Kurt was passed out in the bedroom, his chest raising and falling slowly as Blaine walked in. Blaine knelt down and watched Kurt. Why had this happened to them? He smoothed a hair off of his forehead, making him stir a bit. He wished he could go back and change all of this.. Make sure Kurt had never been in danger. They'd be happy now.. Kurt wouldn't be in so much pain.

 

Kurt shifted a bit, scooting closer to Blaine. Blaine reached out, running his fingertips down Kurt's cheek. He looked so peaceful when he slept. He wondered if he was at peace in his dreams..if he was happy. Kurt made a small noise, wrapping his arms around the pillow and smiling lightly. Blaine smiled, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. "I love you.." he whispered quietly. Kurt hummed softly, pulling the pillow closer. "What are you dreaming about?.." Blaine asked, giggling softly.

 

Kurt's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Hmm..?"

 

Blaine kissed his cheek. "Morning.." He smiled, "Well, not morning, but still.."

 

Kurt giggled. "Hey.."

 

"Hey.." Blaine smiled.

 

"What're you doing?"

 

"Just watching you sleep..What were you dreaming about?.."

 

Kurt looked down and sighed. "We had a baby girl. We took her to the park and were pushing her on the swings.. She was giggling and had this big smile like you.. It was perfect.."

 

Blaine smiled, kissing Kurt's forehead. "We'll have that..I promise..Tomorrow we're going to Lima to look at houses.."

 

"Is..Is Sebastian gone..?"

 

"Yeah baby..He left.."

 

"I'm sorry.."

 

"It's okay..we're okay..Claude didn't hurt him.."

 

"B-But.. Carole saw.."

 

"She's seen before..She knows..Everyone is okay and we all love you so much.." Blaine whispered. "You want your medicine?.."

 

Kurt nodded, curling in on himself. Blaine kissed his forehead again before standing and going to get Kurt's pills. Kurt held back his emotions. What if his dream never came true? What if he didn't get better? He had been doing so well..How could he have let Claude out?..That means he could come out again.. It was only when his emotions got out of control. He just couldn't stop himself. Maybe he shouldn't be a parent.. Kurt was hugging his knees to his chest when Blaine came back.  
"You okay..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"What if he comes out..? Around our daughter..?"

 

'Kurt..Sebastian just brought something out in you and you couldn't control yourself..That won't happen.." Blaine whispered.

 

"How do you know.." Kurt asked quietly.

 

"Because I know you..and I have faith in you, and us,and our baby girl.."

 

A tear fell down Kurt's cheek. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too.." Blaine smiled, kissing Kurt softly before handing him his pills and a glass of water. Kurt sat up and took them.

 

"I'm proud of you.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Really..?"

 

"Really..." Blaine smiled.

 

"Thank you, Blaine.. For everything you've done.."

 

"Don't thank me..I love being here with you..I'm so happy with you, Kurt.."

 

Kurt sat up. "Are you really? Happy, I mean."

 

"I am..I know we'll be even happier one day..But I am happy.." Blaine said softly.

 

"Me too.."

 

"You have no idea what that means to me to hear you say that.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"You came back, Blaine.. I couldn't not be happy."

 

Blaine smiled, a bit teary eyed as he leaned in to kiss his husband.

 

Kurt pulled Blaine close, kissing him sweetly. "You're making my dreams come true."

 

"I just love you so much.."

 

"I love you too, Blaine."

 

Blaine smiled, pulling Kurt close and sighing happily. "And maybe when we get settled in Lima..we can have a real wedding..renew our vows.."

 

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Really?"

 

"I want to have that with you.." Blaine nodded.

 

"Id love that."

 

"Me too.."

 

"You're perfect.."

 

"So are you, baby.."

 

The next day they all went to the airport. Blaine had called off of work for a few days and they had a few houses they wanted to take a look at. They were sitting at their gate, waiting for the plane. Kurt held onto Carole's hand tightly. "Are you okay sweetie? .." Carole asked softly.

 

"I'm scared.. I don't want to get on.."

 

"Baby..It's gonna be okay..Flying is really safe.." Blaine said. Kurt went quiet, trying to calm down. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders. "So you want one of your sleeping pills?" He asked quietly. He'd packed Kurt's essential medicine in his carry-on, including his newest anxiety medication.

 

"Please." Kurt nodded. Blaine pulled one out, handing Kurt his bottled water and a sleeping pill.

 

Kurt took it and sighed. "Thank you."

 

"You're welcome baby.." Blaine said as they announced their flight was boarding. They got in their seats, Kurt quickly curling up to Blaine and starting to fall asleep. Blaine helped Kurt buckle up and kissed his forehead before sitting back and closing his eyes. It wasn't a long flight. Before they knew it, the plane was landing. Blaine leaned over, kissing Kurt softly. "Kurt, we're here.."

 

Kurt mumbled. "Hmm?"

 

"We're in Ohio..Come on, you can sleep more in Carole's car.." Blaine said sweetly.

 

Kurt slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Okay.."

 

Blaine smiled endearingly. Kurt looked so adorable like this. They got off the plane and headed to Carole's. When they got there, Kurt was still tired from the medication, but Rachel was already there when they arrived. He smiled wide as he saw her. "Rachel..."

 

"Hey!" She grinned, pulling him into a hug.

 

Kurt hugged her back, smiling to himself.

 

"So, you're moving back?" She asked.

 

He nodded as they seperated. "Yeah.." He said softly. "Blaine's gonna let me help out at the shop.."

 

Rachel let out a small squeal. "I'm so excited to have my best friend back!"

 

Kurt's eyebrows shot up at the noise but he just smiled and accepted another hug from the brunette.

 

"Alright, Rachel," Finn chuckled. "He's really tired."

 

"It's okay..Come lay with me..We can talk.." Kurt smiled tiredly. Rachel nodded, leading him down to his old room. Kurt curled up in the bed, not even bothering to take his shoes off.

 

"Do you remember much about your room?" Rachel asked.

 

Kurt looked up and around the room. He remembered a few things. He looked over at the books on the shelf and picture frames. There was a record player and a stack of records. "Can you play something?.."

 

Rachel nodded, getting up and putting one of Kurt's favorites on.

 

Kurt closed his eyes as he listened to the record and smiled. "You know me too well.." he said as the old music flowed through the room.

 

"I do." Rachel said softly.

 

Kurt hummed softly to himself, running his hands across the soft sheets. "C'mere.."

 

Rachel smiled, going to lay with her best friend.

 

Kurt let Rachel cuddle up to him and sighed softly. "Are you pregnant yet?"

 

"Umm.. No.."

 

"Why not?.."

 

"We don't do that much.. But I don't think we're ready for kids.."

 

"Why?.." Kurt asked softly.

 

"Why what?"

 

"Why to both of those things.."

 

"Things have been tight with money.. And I don't know.. I don't feel that..sexy.."

 

"Rachel Hudson." Kurt said in a scolding tone. "You are sexy so shut up."

 

"I don't have any of those kinds of clothes or anything.. I don't know. I just.." Rachel sighed.

 

"Blaine and I have sex a lot. You don't need to try and be sexy..You want him right?" Kurt asked, closing his eyes again.

 

"I do.."

 

"Then take him." Kurt chuckled. "I plan on making Blaine fuck me in the bathroom later." He said bluntly before yawning.

 

Rachel's eyes went wide. "In the bathroom..?"

 

"Why not?" Kurt shrugged.

 

"I've only been with Finn in bed.."

 

"Rachel..You've been with Finn longer than Blaine and I..Right?.." He asked.

 

"Yes."

 

"Maybe you just need to mix it up." Kurt yawned again. "Yes, I hear you, I'm a slut. Just shut up so I can sleep." He sighed.

 

"He wouldn't be up for talking about it. And I wouldn't even know how to try to bring it up.."

 

Kurt opened his eyes and looked at the brunette. "I want you to have Finn take you to dinner. Have a night out to just be with each other. Take him home and don't even go to your room. I want you to pull him close and tell him to fuck you against a wall. Or on the kitchen counter. Not make love to you. Tell him to fuck you, Rachel. Pull his hair. Scratch him. Be loud for him. See what he does." He said calmly before closing his eyes again.

 

A wide-eyed Rachel stared back at her friend. She had never imagined something like that. Would Finn like it?..

 

"It'll work. " Kurt added before Blaine opened the door and came trotting down the stairs. Rachel leaned back against the headboard as she thought about it.

 

"Hey.." Kurt smiled at his husband.

 

"Hey baby. I was just coming to check on you."

 

"I'm okay..Claude won't shut up but I'm ignoring him.."

 

"What's he saying?"

 

"The usual.." Kurt said, stretching.

 

"Do you need more of your medicine?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt just shook his head. "I'm okay..I'm not that tired anymore."

 

"What do you want to do?"

 

"Where are the houses we're gonna look at?.."

 

"They aren't far from here." Blaine said. "Want to look at a couple?"

 

Kurt sat up, nodding as he stood. "Think about what I said, Rachel."

 

Blaine raised an eyebrow as Rachel squirmed slightly but chose to ignore it.

 

"Blaine, did you bring my jacket?..I don't want my arms to show..A-And can you ask Carole if I can use some of her cover-up?.." He asked as they reached the top of the stairs.

 

"I'll ask then get your jacket." Blaine said softly. Kurt nodded, running his hand up and down his forearm self-consciously. Blaine got the makeup from Carole and grabbed the jacket. He waited in the living room while Kurt applied the cover-up. Kurt covered up his scars as best as he could, still not happy with the end result, before he walked out to Blaine and put on his jacket.

 

"We'll be back before dinner." Blaine told Carole before kissing her cheek.

 

Carole nodded. "Have a good day boys."

 

They said bye before getting into Carole's car and going to the first house. It was small, quaint, and one story. They found the key, where the seller told Blaine it would be, before walking inside. It was a two bedroom with one and a half baths. There wasn't much space in the kitchen or living room. And barely any closet space. Kurt walked around the living room and sighed. "What do you think?..'

 

"Not really feeling it.." Blaine admitted.

 

"Good, neither am I."

 

Blaine chuckled. They put the key back and went to the next house. The next was a town house. It was nicely sized with a good price for rent. Two story. Three bedrooms three baths.

 

"How do you feel here?" Blaine asked as they walked into the master bedroom.

 

Kurt didn't say anything. He walked to the center of the room and laid across the cream colored carpet. "I'm not sure.."

 

"It's definitely one I'd be interested in. But I want to see the others too." Blaine said as he checked out the big, connecting bathroom.

 

Kurt sat up as he remembered what he told Rachel earlier. Maybe it didn't have to be their bathroom. The idea excited him slightly as he hugged around his thighs, resting his chin on his knees. Blaine came back out and looked at his husband. "What are you thinking?"

 

Kurt bit his lip, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Here?" Blaine asked. He knew that look.

 

"Bathroom."

 

"I don't know what's gotten into you lately.. But this is hot.."

 

Kurt grinned, cocking his head to the side. "I've just been feeling a lot better I guess.."

 

"Come here." Blaine said lowly.

 

Kurt smiled, standing and walking over to Blaine.

 

The younger pulled him close, leaning in to kiss him deeply. Kurt moaned softly, kissing him back. Blaine picked his husband up and took him to the bathroom. Kurt gasped in surprise before wrapping his arms and legs around Blaine. Blaine growled, gripping Kurt's ass. Kurt pulled his lips away to give off a sharp gasp. "Blainee.."

 

"Talk to me. Tell me what you want to feel."

 

"I want you to undress me..Slowly..I wanna feel your soft lips all over me..Kiss me..Then I want you to let me touch you..Your cock..I want to feel it..in my hand..I want to taste it..Feel it on my face.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine's head fell back as he moaned. He slowly lifted Kurt's shirt, admiring his pale skin before leaning in to kiss his neck. Kurt gasped softly, giving a quiet moan as Blaine set him on the counter top. "Yes.."

 

The younger let his hands explore down Kurt's torso and to his back as he kissed down his husband's chest. Kurt gave small little pants as he arched his back.

 

"So perfect." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you.." Kurt said, just as quietly.

 

"I love you too," Blaine said as he reached the top of Kurt's pants, licking just above the fabric. Kurt whined, leaning back slightly and watching Blaine. Blaine slowly unbuttoned the pants. He leaned in closer, breathing over Kurt's boxer briefs. The stimulation sent a tremor through Kurt as his member twitched. Blaine looked so sexy like this..He'd never felt more in control of his body and mind than in this moment and it was so perfect.. Blaine mouthed over Kurt and hummed quietly. "Blaine.." Kurt whimpered. Blaine removed his husband's pants before scratching down his sides. Kurt took in a shaky breath, his body rolling slightly. Blaine growled as he pulled the boxer briefs off. He nuzzled against Kurt's hardening cock ad breathed in. "I love how you smell.."

 

Kurt got chills, looking down at Blaine who was giving him those perfect bedroom eyes. "Y-Yeah?.." He whispered, swallowing. Blaine nodded, kissing the base before standing to kiss Kurt deeply. Kurt groaned, licking into Blaine's mouth before pulling back to take his shirt off. Blaine kept his eyes on his husband. He was so beautiful and sexy. Kurt ran his hands down Blaine's arms, gasping as he dug his fingers into the firm muscle of his bicep. "Fuck.."

 

"You like my arms?" Blaine grinned.

 

Kurt nodded slowly, running his hands back up and down again, keeping his palm cupped around the thick muscle. Blaine's biceps had to be his favorite thing in the world, next to his eyes. Blaine licked his lips as he watched his husband. Kurt gasped as Blaine intentionally flexed the muscle, causing it to harden and swell under his fingers. It drew a sharp little moan from the taller. "Blaine.."

 

Blaine gripped Kurt's hips and leaned in, biting his ear. "You like that, baby?"

 

"Yes..Oh god, yes.." Kurt gasped, squeezing the firm flesh harder. Blaine growled in Kurt's ear. Kurt whimpered. He had planned on trying to drag this out while he still felt in control, but now he was losing it. He was nearly dizzy with lust and the heavy heat radiating from Blaine. "Blaine, I need you now.."

 

Blaine moaned, pulling Kurt closer. "Suck me.. Get me ready for you baby."

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's arms once more before sliding off of the counter and getting on his knees. He unzipped Blaine's jeans and reached into his boxers, pulling his thick cock out. Blaine was so turned on his member was leaking. Blaine leaned against the wall as he looked down at Kurt. "So sexy.."

 

Kurt licked at the head, moaning at the taste of his husband before kissing down the shaft and nuzzling the base. He inhaled slowly, taking in his husband's smell just as Blaine had done to him. He closed his eyes, moaning softly as he released the breath. "So good.."

 

Blaine let a small whimper escape him. "Baby.."

 

Kurt moved back, sucking the tip into his mouth before starting to bob his head, sucking him slowly.

 

"Oh Kurt.."

 

Kurt slowly got Blaine's length wet and slick before standing.

 

Blaine tuned him around and spread Kurt's legs. "I want you to watch yourself in the mirror. See how sexy you are."

 

Kurt whined softly, looking at Blaine through the glass. "I-I don't think I am.." he said quietly

 

"You are baby." Blaine whispered, kissing Kurt's neck. "You're perfect."

 

Kurt watched in the mirror. All he saw was Blaine. Beautiful, perfect, Blaine..And when he looked at himself he just saw his scars..And how thin he was.

 

Blaine took his time exploring Kurt's body in the mirror. "Most beautiful man I've ever seen."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

 

"If I thought otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this. But baby.. You're so damn hot."

 

Kurt opened his eyes, looking at him again. "I am?.."

 

"So hot, Kurt. I love just looking at you. Every part of you turns me on.

 

"Really? .." Kurt asked in barely a whisper.

 

"Yes baby. I love all of you. Especially when you're trying to tease me or of you're mad at me. When you strut out of the room.. Fuck.. I love it."

 

Kurt gave a soft moan as Blaine slid his hands over the slight curve of his waist. "I-I love you.." he said quietly.

"I'm so in love with you, Kurt."

 

Kurt turned his head kissing Blaine softly. "I need you.."

 

Blaine spread Kurt's perfect ass, slowly pushing in. Kurt inhaled deeply, his eyes slipping closed.

 

"Shit babe.."

 

"Blaine..So good.." Kurt moaned. Blaine groaned as he pressed in. Kurt whined, rolling his body slowly. Blaine gripped Kurt's hips, kissing along his neck and shoulder to let Kurt get used to the stretch.  
"Go.." Kurt whispered. Blaine locked eyes with his husband in the mirror as he gave slow thrusts. Kurt's lips parted as he panted softly. "Blaine.."

 

Blaine sped up slightly, moaning against Kurt's skin. Kurt reached down, placing his hands over Blaine's as his voice grew a bit louder. "Kurrtt.." Blaine gasped, pushing Kurt forward to angle him.

 

Kurt gasped, bending forward. "Yes!"

 

Blaine clawed down Kurt's back, speeding up and hitting his prostate. Kurt looked in the mirror. He and Blaine looked so good together..So perfect. "Blaine!"

 

"Love it when you're loud," Blaine gasped.

 

Kurt whined loudly as the pleasure built in him. Blaine was rubbing over his prostate with each thrust and each brush over the nerves drew a cry from him.

 

The sounds Kurt made sent chills through Blaine. "Fuck! Yes, Kurt.."

 

"Ah! Ah! Blaine! " Kurt got out, his legs were trembling and threatening to give out as he clutched to the counter.

 

Blaine ran a hand along Kurt's quivering thigh. "So fucking sexy.."

 

"Fuckmeohmygod.." Kurt groaned, bending over the counter more and pressing his face to the cool surface. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. He'd never felt anything this intense before. Blaine let his hands roam his husband's body, scratching, teasing, leaving his mark.

 

"B-Blaine! I-I..Oh fuck!" Kurt panted, holding back with everything he had.

 

"Look at me." Blaine growled. "I want to see you come."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine before starting to come as soon as their eyes locked. His knees buckled as his body trembled, falling apart completely. That look was all Blaine needed to go over the edge, losing himself as he released his seed in his husband. Kurt gasped as he felt Blaine swell and fill him. "Blaine.." He whispered.

 

Blaine panted as he kissed up his husband's back. "I..love..you.."

 

"I love you so much.."

 

Blaine slowly pulled out and ran his hands along Kurt's sides lovingly.

 

"That.." Kurt smiled.

 

"I know.."

 

"You're amazing.."

 

"So are you baby."

 

"I wanna sleep.." Kurt giggled.

 

Blaine laughed. "Is this the one?"

 

"I think so.." Kurt smiled. Blaine cleaned up their mess and they got dressed before heading back to Carole's. 

 

Carole smiled as they walked inside. "Hey boys. That was fast. How was house hunting?.."

 

"Good." Blaine said softly. "Kurt's tired. But we found the one we want."

 

"It's nice.." Kurt grinned.

 

"Good. Dinner will be ready in about an hour." She smiled.

 

Kurt smiled, wrapping his arms around Blaine's arm. "Can we go see my Dad?.."

 

"Did you want to sleep first? Or after?"

 

"After.." Kurt said softly.

 

"We'll be back. Do you need anything while we're out?" Blaine asked Carole.

 

"No, thank you.." Carole said softly.

 

They got back in the car and headed to the cemetery.

 

Kurt was a little nervous. The last memories he had of his father were when he was alive.

 

When they got out, Blaine took Kurt's hand. "Are you sure you're ready?"

 

"I don't know..I don't remember what happened...Finn said I was there, but.."

 

"It's okay, baby. Whatever you want, in here."

 

Kurt nodded, pulling his hood up and getting out of the car. Blaine took his hand as they walked to the grave. Kurt's hands were shaking as he stopped in his tracks, the grave about ten feet away. Blaine was quiet but kept his hand in Kurt's.  
"I..I don't know if I can do this.."

 

"You don't have to," Blaine said softly.

 

"I want to.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Take your time."

 

Kurt nodded before they started walking again. It was a nice day out. Blaine sat down beside the headstone, motioning for Kurt to do the same. Kurt sat, tracing his fingers over his father's name. "Dad.."

 

Blaine looked at the flowers in front of them before giving an encouraging nod to his husband. Kurt already had tears in his eyes as he looked down. "I just..I wish I knew what to say.."

 

"What would you say if he was here?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt sniffed, pulling his hood down and tangling his fingers in his hair. "I-I just want to see you one more time.."

 

Blaine rubbed over Kurt's leg. "It's okay to let it out."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, curling in on himself and letting Blaine hold him close.  
"Do you want to go?.." Blaine whispered.

 

"N-No." Kurt gasped in Blaine's arms. Blaine nodded, petting Kurt's hair. Kurt's body went ridged before falling still.

 

"Kurt?.." Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I miss him.." Elizabeth whispered shakily.

 

Blaine nodded. "I know..It's okay.."

 

Elizabeth looked up at Blaine. "Kurt's getting stronger. He doesn't need me anymore.."

 

"Elizabeth..He'll always need you."

 

She reached up and cupped Blaine's cheek. "I told you as he gets better, I'll start to fade. It's my time to go.."

 

"But..I.." Blaine whispered. A selfish part of him didn't want her to leave.

 

"Take care of my baby, okay?" Elizabeth said softly.

 

"I will.." Blaine said, holding back tears.

 

Elizabeth laid back down, slowly letting go. Blaine closed his eyes, looking over at Elizabeth's grave. It was never really her..It was a personality Kurt developed..He just had to remember that.. But how would Kurt handle it..?

 

Kurt opened his eyes and looked up at Blaine. "Mom?.."

 

Blaine bit his lip and shook his head.

 

"What?.." Kurt whispered.

 

"She's gone.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"No..I need her.." Kurt said, sitting up and putting his hands over his ears. "I don't wanna lose you again!"

 

Blaine pulled Kurt close. "I know baby.. I know.."

 

"Mom.." Kurt whispered. "I want my mom and dad..." Kurt got out before breaking down.

 

Blaine just held Kurt as tightly as he could. There were no words that could help.

 

The older man sobbed in his husband's arms. "It's just him..I-Its only him.."

 

"You can do this Kurt.. I'm with you.. We'll get rid of him. I promise.."

 

Kurt shook his head as his sobs shook him.

 

"We can.. You're strong, Kurt.. Stronger than you think.."

 

"He's stronger..."

 

"Not stronger than you." Blaine said seriously. "I won't let him take you too."

 

Kurt sniffed, pulling Blaine closer.

 

"I love you, Kurt.. I love you so much.."

 

"I love you too.."

 

"It's going to be okay.." Blaine whispered.

 

"I wish I could believe that.."

 

"Please.. Think of moving here. We'll work together and save up.. We'll have a family.."

 

Kurt looked up at Blaine with red, puffy eyes. "I just want to be normal..."

 

"Well, I love you how you are." Blaine said seriously.

 

"Crazy? .."

 

"I don't think you're crazy."

 

Kurt sighed. "But I am..I take an anti-psychotic e-every day Blaine. How am I supposed to explain that to our child?.."

 

"Baby, when the time is right, she'll understand. She will love you more than anything. Not everyone that winds up in those hospitals is crazy. Remember Raleigh? She's not crazy. You're not crazy, Kurt. You just need help getting over what happened."

 

Kurt nodded. "W-When we go back home..Can we go see her?.."

 

"Of course," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt sighed, looking between his parents' graves. "I wish they were here..."

 

"Me too.. But they'll always be in your heart."

 

Kurt nodded, smoothing his hands over the crisp grass. They stayed a while longer, talking about what Kurt did remember about his parents. After they left Kurt was really quiet most of the ride "You should go see your parents while you're here.." He said quietly.

 

Blaine sighed. "You're right.."

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing his hand.

 

"I haven't talked to them in a while."

 

"You need to.." Kurt said quietly. He would give anything to have another conversation with his parents. He didn't want Blaine to have any regrets when it came to his.

 

"I know. I'll call tomorrow."

 

Kurt nodded again. "When can we move here?.."

 

"A couple of weeks."

 

Kurt smiled lightly. That was sooner than he expected. They got back to Carole's house and Finn and Rachel had already left.

 

"Where's Finn and Rachel?" Kurt asked Carole.

 

"Rachel said they already had dinner plans."

 

Kurt smiled knowingly and walked into the kitchen, hugging Carole tight. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too, sweetie. Are you okay?" She asked.

 

"Yeah. I'm just grateful for you.."

 

"I'm always here for you, Kurt."

 

Kurt nodded, holding her for a minute and then letting go.

 

"Go get washed up. I'll get the table ready."

 

Kurt nodded, walking off to the bathroom.

 

"He no longer has Elizabeth.." Blaine said quietly when Kurt was gone.

 

Carole looked up. "Well..It could be taken as a sign of him getting better..But is he okay?.."  
"It was just like losing them again.."

 

Carole looked down. "I'm really glad you can be here for him.."

 

"Thank you. It'll be easier once we get moved in. I think having Rachel will help him too."

 

"That's good.." Carole smiled.

 

Blaine nodded. "How has is been here?"

 

"Good..Quiet.. Finn is here with Puck most of the time so they keep me busy. "

 

Blaine chuckled. "Oh god. How is Noah?"

 

"Still the same as he was in high school." Carole giggled.

 

"Who?" Kurt asked as he came back in.

 

"Puck..Noah? Do you remember him?" Carole asked.

 

Kurt thought for a moment. "With..the Mohawk?"

 

"Yes!" Blaine grinned.

 

"He was always horny." Kurt chuckled as he sat down.

 

"He still is.." Carole said, laughing lightly.

 

They sat down and had an amazing home cooked meal.

 

After that they were off to bed. Kurt curled up in the sheets, looking up at his husband.

 

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked.

 

"Good..Still a little upset though.."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"I don't really know what to say..I feel like a part of me is missing.."

 

Blaine pulled Kurt close. "I wish I could fix it."

 

"Me too.."

 

"I am so sorry, Kurt.."

 

"We knew it would happen."

 

"It doesn't make it easier."

 

"It means I'm getting better.." Kurt said softly.

 

"True. Now we just have one left." Blaine sighed. "But we'll do it."

 

"I don't think so.." Kurt admitted.

 

"Why not?"

 

"I feel him..He still has such a strong presence in me.."

 

"I think we can do it. It might take a lot longer. But I think we can." Blaine said softly. Kurt looked up at Blaine with loving eyes. He admired how much faith he had in him.

 

Blaine leaned in to kiss Kurt softly. "Let's try to relax for now."

 

"Okay.."

 

Blaine held Kurt close as they fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

They spent the next day at the house. It was one of Kurt's bad days. He almost didn't recognize Carole that morning and kept asking where certain rooms were.

 

"Is this normal..?" Carole asked Blaine.

 

"Is what?..The memory lapses?.." Blaine asked.

 

"For them to be so bad."

 

"He's been worse. .It's just a bad day..One day he didn't know who I was.." Blaine said, sipping his coffee.

 

Carole sighed. "What do you do?"

 

"Just let him be..He'll be better later today.." Blaine sighed.

 

"Okay."

 

Kurt came into the kitchen. "Someone just walked into the house.." he said as Finn and Rachel walked in.

 

"Kurt?" Rachel asked. "Are you alright?"

 

Kurt took a step away from her. "I'm sorry..I don't.."

 

"He's having a bad day.." Blaine explained.

 

"Want us to come back later?" Finn asked.

 

"No,it's okay.." Blaine said.

 

"I'm Kurt.." Kurt added.

 

"Rachel.. And my husband, Finn.." Rachel said.

 

Kurt nodded, giving a nervous smile.

 

Blaine bit his lip at the sad look in Rachel's eyes. This must be hard for her when he was used to it.

 

Rachel sat down next to Carole. "Are you just hanging out at home today?"

 

"Yeah..We don't want to push Kurt too much today." Carole said softly.

 

"Alright."

 

"Kurt, baby..Can you give us a minute to talk?.." Blaine asked softly.

 

Kurt looked between Blaine and the unfamiliar faces before nodding and going upstairs.

 

"Rachel..Finn..I know he doesn't recognize you, and I know how much that hurts..You guys don't have to stay.."

 

"I want to be here for him." Rachel said seriously.

 

Blaine nodded lightly. "It'll pass..He's just like this some mornings.."

 

"Does it fade through the day?" Finn asked.

 

Blaine nodded. "He'll be okay in an hour or two."

 

"We'll stay."

 

"Thank you.." Blaine said softly as Kurt started back down the stairs.

 

"Are you going to call your parents today?" Kurt asked.

 

"I am." Blaine said softly. "How are you feeling?"

 

"I'm okay."

 

Blaine nodded. "Do you wanna go do something today?..It's a beautiful day.."

 

"Maybe a walk?"

 

"That sounds nice..We could all go to the park..Take a walk.." Blaine smiled.

 

"I'd like that." Kurt nodded.

 

They ate some breakfast before driving to the park. Kurt got out, pulling his hood up and stepping out onto the grass. There was so much more space here than in New York.

 

"You used to bring me here." Blaine said softly.

 

"I did?.."

 

Blaine nodded. "We spent a lot of time here."

 

Kurt sat as the rest of his family walked up to him. Blaine sat next to his husband and sighed softly.

 

"It's nice out here.." Kurt said, taking his hood down.

 

"It is." Rachel agreed. Kurt smiled, laying back in the grass and closing his eyes. They all enjoyed the weather and relaxed.

 

Kurt sat up quickly, looking at Rachel. "Rachel." He gasped.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"How did dinner go last night?"

 

"Oh!" Rachel said, a little flustered. "It was...really good.."

 

Kurt gave a smile, chuckling lightly. Blaine grinned. He assumed his normal memory was back.

 

"Yeah dude..Um..Thanks..For that.." Finn said awkwardly.

 

"We'll definitely be going back there." Rachel smiled.

 

Kurt nodded, chuckling softly before setting his head in Blaine's lap

 

"Where'd you go?" Blaine asked.

 

"Just this little Italian place in Westerville." Finn said.

 

Blaine nodded. "I really should call my parents.."

 

"You should.." Kurt said. Blaine sighed, resting his head on Kurt's chest. Kurt played with Blaine's curls. "They probably miss you.."

 

"I hope so.."

 

"Do you think they don't?.." Kurt asked.

 

"I don't know."

 

Kurt frowned. "Why?.."

 

"We've never been close."

 

The older bit his lip, thinking. "Well now's your chance to be.."

 

"I know."

 

That afternoon, they drove back to the house and Blaine decided to finally call his parents. He waited nervously as the phone rang.

 

"Hello?.." His mother answered.

 

"Mom.."

 

"Blaine?.."

 

"How are you?" Blaine asked

 

"I'm doing well..I haven't heard from you since the engagement..How's Sebastian?"

 

"I'm..not with him anymore.."

 

"You're not?.." She asked quietly.

 

"No.. I'm with Kurt.." Blaine said. "Do you remember Kurt?"

 

"I do.." She said.

 

"We're in Ohio.. We're going to move back."

 

"Really?..Well good..I'm glad you're coming home..But..Why did you leave Sebastian?..And why are you back with Kurt after what he did?.."

 

"It's a really long story. I was hoping you'd want to meet up before I leave?"

 

"Of course." She said softly.

 

"How about tomorrow? I leave the next day."

 

"Your father's off tomorrow, so that's perfect."

 

"Okay. I'll be there around eleven."

 

"Alright, dear. ." She said softly. "I'll see you then."

 

Blaine said bye before hanging up and sighing softly. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders from behind. "So?.."

 

"I'm going to see them tomorrow."

 

"That's good.."

 

Blaine nodded. "I'm nervous."

 

"Why?.."

 

"Just haven't seen them in a while."

 

"It'll be okay.."

 

"It just feels good to talk to them," Blaine said quietly.

 

"That's good.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Thank you.."

 

Kurt turned Blaine's face, kissing him sweetly as a 'you're welcome'

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt smiled, straddling Blaine's lap.  
Blaine wrapped his arms around his husband. Kurt smiled wide. "I love this. ."

 

"Me too.."

 

"Me sitting on you?.." Kurt giggled.

 

"Mm, yes."

 

"You're silly.." Kurt hummed.

 

"Because I think you're sexy as hell?"

 

Kurt bit his lip. "Yes.."

 

"I love it."

 

"Love what?.." Kurt asked quietly, his eyes hooded.

 

"You. Like this." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt giggled. "I don't know what you mean.."

 

"You're so damn sexy is what I mean."

 

Kurt fluttered his lashes as he pressed his chest to Blaine's. "So are you.."

 

"Kiss me."

 

"What if I don't?.."

 

"You want to tease me?" Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt nodded, giving a sly smile.

 

"I like that.."

 

"I know.." Kurt whispered, leaning in to kiss Blaine's neck. Blaine tilted his head back and gasped.

 

"I love when you don't shave.." Kurt whispered against his neck.

 

"Mmmm, Kurt.."

 

Kurt nipped and sucked at the skin before sucking harshly at a spot over his clavicle.

 

"Oh fuck.."

 

Kurt sucked harder, creating a dark bruise on the olive skin.

 

"Kurt.."

 

Kurt pulled off. "Yeah?.."

 

"Don't stop.."

 

Kurt just chuckled. Maybe he was good at this teasing thing..

 

"Please baby."

 

Kurt shivered. Oohh he liked that..Blaine begging. "Blaine?.."

 

"Yes?"

 

"When we..Did this before..Were there any certain things we did that were..Different that I liked?.."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Like..." Kurt blushed deeply, "Kinks.."

 

"We'll get to that later. When we're completely alone." Blaine said lowly. "You were such a tease. Sometimes.. You made me beg. Well, not made.. I liked it."

 

Kurt slowly eased Blaine back so he was lying down on the bed. "You do?.." He smiled.

 

"I do.."

 

Kurt gave a small dark growl as he rolled his hips down. Blaine moaned, scratching down Kurt's back. Kurt gasped softly before grabbing Blaine's hands and pinning them above his head. "No.."

 

Blaine shivered. He really liked that. Kurt leaned back, slowly lifting his shirt. He felt powerful like this. Usually Blaine took over. Showing him everything. What felt good, and reintroducing all of these sensations. Now he wanted a chance at the wheel. Blaine watched Kurt in awe. "I love it when you do this."

 

"I can tell.." Kurt hummed, pulling his shirt off completely. Blaine couldn't help himself as he reached up to touch Kurt.

 

Kurt grabbed Blaine's wrists again. "I said no.." he said, his voice firm.

 

Blaine gave a small whine as be fell back against the bed. Kurt's hips jerked at the sound but he held firm, undressing himself before starting on Blaine. Blaine licked his lips as Kurt straddled his naked body. Kurt pushed his hips back, feeling Blaine's long throbbing member slot between the halves of his ass.   
"Kurt.."

 

"Hmm?.." Kurt hummed softly, rolling his hips.

 

"Feels so good."

 

"What do you want?.."

 

"You to ride me." Blaine whispered. Kurt shivered, trailing his thumbs over Blaine's nipples. Blaine gasped at the contact.

 

"You want to watch me?..Watch me bounce on your thick cock?.." Kurt whispered breathlessly, his cheeks flushed red. He was surprised and embarrassed he said that. He withdrew slightly, biting his lip.

 

Blaine rolled his body. "Fuck yes.."

 

Kurt's embarrassment faded lightly. Blaine liked that too?.. he smiled, looking down at his husband.

 

"You're so fucking sexy.."

 

"Where's the lube?.."

 

"Suitcase."

 

Kurt stood, walking over to the bags and pulling out the small tube. Blaine moved his hands to his chest, rubbing down his torso as he watched Kurt walk back. Kurt bit his lip as he straddled Blaine again.

 

"I want you so bad.."

 

"I want you too baby..you can touch me.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine didn't waste any time. He reached up, running his hands over Kurt's body. Kurt moaned softly, arching his back.

 

"Damn baby.."

 

"Will you finger me?.." Kurt whispered. Blaine nodded, taking the bottle and slicking himself up. Kurt lifted his hips a bit, scooting up Blaine's body. The younger spread Kurt and slowly slid a finger inside. Kurt gasped quietly, looking down at Blaine. Blaine slowly pressed all the way in.  
"Blaine!" Kurt whined. Blaine moaned as he swirled the digit. Kurt pushed back, trying to fuck himself on Blaine's finger.

 

"Greedy, aren't you?" Blaine said lowly, adding another.

 

"Yes.." Kurt whispered, trembling lightly as Blaine scissored his fingers. The pink was high in his cheeks as he rocked his hips. Blaine stretched Kurt until he was quivering. He pulled out and placed the head of his leaking cock at Kurt's waiting entrance. Kurt slowly lowered himself, moaning softly as Blaine filled him.

 

"Shit.." Blaine gasped. Kurt bottomed out. He sat on Blaine's lap before slowly raising up and dropping down again. Blaine's head fell back as he gripped Kurt's hips. Kurt panted harshly, letting his head fall back as he built up a rhythm.

 

"That's right, baby. Fucking take my cock." Blaine moaned.

 

Kurt moaned loudly, spreading his hands on Blaine's chest. "Yes..Ah!"

 

"You like that? When I talk to you?" Blaine asked, biting Kurt's neck. Kurt nodded quickly, speeding up as he carded his fingers through Blaine's curls.

 

Blaine gave a loud moan as he watched his husband. "Fuck.. You ride me so well baby. Taking me like a cock slut."

 

Kurt froze, his body tensing as he quickly climbed off of his husband.

 

"Kurt?" Blaine asked before realizing what he said. "Baby, no! I-I swear I didn't mean that.."

 

"No.." Kurt said quickly, tears already falling from his eyes as he pulled on his sweat pants and hoodie.

 

"We used to say that all the time.. You.. You liked it. I'm so sorry. I-I wasn't thinking." Blaine said quickly. Kurt just hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.

 

Blaine got dressed and ran down the stairs. "Kurt..?"

 

"He went outside..Is he okay?.." Carole asked.

 

"No.." Blaine said before hurrying out the door. Kurt was curled up on the porch swing, his arms wrapped around his legs, which were drawn to his chest, and crying. His face was buried between his knees and chest, sobbing harshly. "Kurt, please. I didn't mean it like that." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt tried to suppress his sobs but said nothing.

 

"You're not a slut. That was..one of our kinks a long time ago. I shouldn't have brought it up without telling you.. It just came to mind. I love you more than anything. You're not a slut, I promise."

 

Kurt still didn't respond, flinching away when Blaine tried to touch his shoulder. Blaine held his breath, trying not to cry. He felt like the world's biggest asshole. Kurt kept his head down as small sniffs and whimpers emanated from him. "Kurt.." Blaine said desperately. "I am so sorry.."

 

Kurt just shook his head, his shoulders trembling. Blaine sighed, sitting down and laying against the house. Kurt stayed in that position for a long time, not moving. Blaine couldn't leave him though.. he was surprised when Kurt looked up at him and smiled before sitting back in the seat.  
"Beautiful night, no?" Claude chuckled, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Blaine remembered Kurt taking the pack from Finn the other night and scolding him for even having them. He pulled one out, perched it between his lips and lit it, taking a long drag. Blaine didn't move. He stared at Claude with nothing but hatred.  
"Oh don't look at me like that..He let me out." Claude chuckled.

 

"Doesn't mean I want you here."

 

Claude took another drag, shrugging his shoulders as he exhaled smoothly. "I do not want you here either so, I guess we are even then." He laughed darkly. Blaine just sighed. He couldn't stand the arrogant asshole. "You.. Tu as vraiment merdé, n'est-ce pas?.." Claude smiled. Blaine had taken to learning French back when Kurt first moved in, figuring he might as well understand what Claude was saying.  
( You really fucked up, didn't you?)

 

"And I'm going to make sure he knows I was wrong."

 

"He isnt going to forgive you.." Claude chuckled, taking a drag.

 

"I'm still going to try." Blaine said.

 

"Good luck.." Claude laughed. "If he is upset enough to let me out willingly..I don't know."

 

"Well I'm not alone. Between me and his family, we have more than enough to remind him of all of the reasons he has to keep getting better." Blaine challenged.

 

Claude let out a loud laugh that went on long enough for Blaine to feel foolish. "You're never going to get it are you?.." He smiled before his voice got low and quiet. "I'm not going anywhere.."

 

"But do you see how long it's been since you've been out? He's getting stronger."

 

"So am I..I choose to stay dormant..To let him think he's in control..I could come out any time I want.."

 

Blaine bit his lip. Was that true?..

 

Claude flicked the butt of his cigarette and smiled smugly to himself. "I'm just waiting.."

 

"For what?" Blaine asked quickly.

 

"Oh so now you want to know what I have to say?.." Claude smiled.

 

"What are you up to?" Blaine almost growled.

 

Claude got up and walked over to Blaine, standing over him. "Wouldn't you like to know.." he grinned wickedly. Blaine balled up his fists. He had to fight the anger building inside of him. He bent down, his face inches from Blaine's. His face...Kurt's face..The love of his life..And yet he hated the man speaking..  
"What is it?..Getting upset? ..Awwe.." He pouted his bottom lip and cocked his head to the side.

 

A million thoughts when through Blaine's mind. What was Claude planning? When would he do it? Blaine wanted to badly to make his husbands dreams come true. But was having a kid really a smart choice? What if Claude harmed him or her? Blaine got lightheaded and everything started to spin before going black. He woke up later, inside of the house with Kurt, or was is it Claude?, hovering over him.  
"Kurt..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"Blaine..What happened?..I looked up and you were passed out..I-I'm sorry..I shouldn't have not talked to you..I-I forgive you.."

 

Blaine gave a sigh of relief. "It's fine.."

 

"Are you okay?..I'm so sorry.." Kurt said, wrapping his arms around him carefully, as if he might shatter.

 

"No.. It's okay.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"You're not okay? .." Kurt asked quickly, pulling back a bit.

 

Blaine shook his head. "I'm fine. It's okay."

 

Kurt pulled Blaine close., tears in his eyes. "You scared me.."

 

"Do you remember anything before seeing me..?"

 

Kurt shook his head. "I-I let him out..D-Did he hurt you? I didn't want him to, I-I Just wanted to get away.."

 

"He only spoke."

 

"What did he say?.."

 

"Nothing important." Blaine lied.

 

Kurt nodded, resting his head on Blaine's chest. "Why did you pass out?.."

 

"Just over thinking.."

 

,"About what?.."

 

"Nothing. He just stresses me out."

 

"I'm sorry..I shouldn't have let him out.."

 

"Well, I shouldn't have said what I did. I didn't mean it." Blaine said quietly.

 

Kurt nodded. "I know..I know now.." he whispered.

 

"I just want to go to bed.."

 

Kurt nodded, getting up and gently pulling the blankets over Blaine before turning off the light, and climbing into bed with him. Blaine curled up on the side of the bed, thinking about what Claude said. Kurt tried wrapping his arms around Blaine, but Blaine wouldn't move or respond to his touch. He was zoned out as he tried to find a solution. Claude could be lying..He did like to try and piss Blaine off. But if he assumed Claude was lying, he wouldn't be prepared if it were true. Blaine couldn't live in fear for the rest of his life. He didn't know what to do. He opened his eye's as he felt Kurt move, rolling over to the other side of the bed. Blaine sighed, turning and pulling Kurt close.

 

"You're lying.." Kurt whispered.

 

"About what?"

 

"About what Claude said..About why you passed out..You said we we're have to be honest with each other..A-And you keep lying.."

 

"I know.. I'm sorry. But I'm scared of you worrying about him. He just.." Blaine took a deep breath. "He says he has plans for you. That he's just waiting.. I'm scared, Kurt.."

 

Kurt's body tensed with fear. "What plans?.."

 

"I don't know." Blaine whispered, pulling Kurt closer protectively. "I can't let him hurt you.."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, placing his hands over Blaine's.  
"B-But if I keep taking my medicine..He'll go away right?.."

 

"I don't know. The others did.." Blaine turned Kurt around and placed his hands on either side of his husband's face. "Listen to me. As long as I am here, I am going to do everything I can to protect you. I don't care what he says or does. I'm not leaving. I want you here and safe with me. Okay? I need you to know this. That I'm not going anywhere. I need you to be strong. You've been so good. Keep being strong, Kurt. We'll beat this. We can do it. I know it.."

 

Kurt had tears in his eyes as he looked at his husband in the dim light. "I-I love you.."

 

"I love you more than anything, Kurt."

 

Kurt curled up, letting Blaine hold him as he heard Claude's ominous chuckle in the back of his mind. A tear slipped from Blaine's eye as he held his husband. "I won't ever leave you.." Kurt said, wanting to assure his husband of something.

 

"Please don't.."

 

"I could never.." Kurt whispered as he kissed Blaine's tear streaked cheek. Blaine nodded, holding Kurt as close as he could. They held each other all night, both too scared of what their futures held to sleep.

 

Blaine was nervous the next day about going to see his family. He got up and took a quick shower, sighing heavily as the hot water washed over him. This trip was supposed to be relaxing. But it was far from it. He got dressed and kissed Kurt softly before walking out and getting in Carole's car. Blaine's nerves built up as he drove to his parent's. He couldn't handle all of this. He was already exhausted and he nerves were fried. A part of him wished his father would've had to go into work. But as he pulled in, he saw that both of his parents were there. He took a deep breath before walking up to the door and knocking. Blaine gave a nervous smile as his mother answered the door.  
"Hey mom.."

 

"Blaine..." She smiled, pulling him into a light hug.

 

They walked into the living room and sat down. "How are you?"

 

"I'm fine..Not much has changed..But what's all of this about you calling off the wedding?..Sebastian is such a nice man. Perfect actually. "

 

"I know." Blaine sighed. "But I started thinking about how Kurt and I left off. I just needed to know that we didn't have another chance. So, I found him. And we needed each other."

 

"Well that doesn't seem very stable. Blaine darling..Sebastian offered financial stability and he loved you so much.."

 

"Not everything is about money." Blaine said seriously. "What I have with Kurt.. No one could replace that."

 

Her lips formed into a tight line. "Where are you living?.."

 

"We found a place between here and Lima." Blaine said before describing the house and neighborhood.

 

"Blaine..That's not good enough for you.." She said, sighing.

 

"Why?"

 

"You're an Anderson.."

 

"So?" Blaine asked. "I cant afford anything else."

 

"Then let us help you.."

 

"Will you accept that I'm married to Kurt?"

 

Her eyes opened wide. "Blaine.."

 

"Is that Blaine?" Blaine's father smiled as he walked into the room.

 

"Hey dad," Blaine said, quickly turning his attention to his father.

 

"How are you, son?.." He smiled as Blaine stood and they hugged.

 

"I'm good, dad. How are you?"

 

"Great, great.." He smiled, sitting down in his recliner.

 

"Did mom tell you I'm moving back?"

 

"No, she didn't. That's great news. Where's Sebastian? .."

 

"It..didn't work out." Blaine said.

 

"That's too bad..He seemed like good choice for you.." his father sighed.

 

Blaine bit his lip nervously before just coming out with it. "I'm actually married to Kurt now.."

 

"Married?.."

 

"Yes."

 

Blaine's mother looked at her husband before back at Blaine. "Why didn't you tell us?.."

 

"It just sort of happened. We just went to the courthouse one night. We want to have an actual wedding here." Blaine explained.

 

"You should have called at least, Blaine.." She said.

 

"I know.. I'm sorry. There's just a lot that I'm scared to tell you.." Blaine admitted.

 

"Like what?.."

 

"Just.. Will you please support me on this? I could really use it.."

 

"Of course. " The older man said.

 

"When we used to live together, something terrible happened to Kurt. He shut down. He never said anything. So, I left. I thought he just didn't want me anymore. Well, I was wrong.." Blaine said before his voice got quieter. "He has dissociative identity disorder. He has, well had, multiple personalities. Now there's just one other. But he's schizophrenic as well. He's getting better. But we're still dealing with it."

 

Both of his parents stared at Blaine with wide eyes.

 

"I know.. It's really fucking hard.. But I love him more than anything.." Blaine said in a desperate voice.

 

"Blaine.." His mother said, shaking her head.

 

"What..?"

 

"You can't be serious.."

 

"Well, I am. You just said you'd support me. Dad? Say something, please."

 

"Blaine..You just need to know what you're getting into."

 

"Oh, trust me, I know."

 

"Well..I think if you're happy it's what matters.. Are you happy?.." He asked.

 

"It gets hard. But I am happy. I love him." Blaine said seriously.

 

"I believe you.." He said softly.

 

"Thank you.. Dad, you don't know what this means to me."

 

"We're here for you, Blaine."

 

"Thank you." Blaine said sincerely.

 

The older smiled, nodding at his son. His mother would take some convincing, but maybe this was going to work out.

 

Blaine spent some time with his family before heading back to Carole's to pack. Kurt had already packed most of their things, smiling proudly as Blaine walked in.  
"Hey baby. How are you feeling?" Blaine asked.

 

"Great." Kurt smiled wide. "How did it go with your parents?"

 

"Better than expected. But.. Mom wants to get us a house..."

 

"What?..I like the one we picked.." Kurt said, his grin fading quickly.

 

"So do I. I'm trying to talk her out of it. She just thinks I deserve more. But I like what we found."

 

"Me too..What..What did they think about me?..'

 

"They support me. They're happy that I'm happy." Blaine said.

 

"Really?" Kurt asked, his smile returning.

 

"Yeah." Blaine said softly. "They want to be part of the wedding too."

 

Kurt pulled Blaine into a tight hug. "Blaine that's amazing. ."

 

"I know. Thank you, Kurt.."

 

Kurt grinned before pausing. "They..They know about me right?..that I'm..I'm not.."

 

"They know. They support us." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt smiled again. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too."

 

They packed up and by the time they finished they were both exhausted. They went downstairs to spend their last couple of hours with Carole. Kurt cuddled up with Carole on the couch and Blaine smiled at them as they talked. It was nice to be here..He was starting to get sad they were leaving.  
"When will you be back?" Carole asked.

 

"In a couple of weeks..We're going to start moving in to that town house on the other side of Lima." Blaine said.

 

"Oh, I like that one!" Carole smiled.

 

"Us too.."

 

"The bathroom is nice.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Is it big?" Carole asked.

 

"Very."

 

"That's nice. I can't wait for you boys to be back."

 

"Me either..When does Dad get home?..I want to see him before we leave." Kurt asked.

 

Carole looked up to Blaine, unsure of what to do.

 

"Baby.." Blaine said softly.

 

"What?" Kurt asked. "Where's dad?"

 

"You know where he is, baby.."

 

Carole reached over to take Kurt's hand. "He's not here, Kurt.."

 

Kurt had a look in panic in his eyes before he closed them, letting out a deep breath. "You're right..I-I remember.."

 

"Are you okay..?"

Kurt nodded. "I'm okay..I-I'm sorry.."

 

"It's alright sweetie," Carole said, kissing his forehead.

 

"I think I'm gonna go to bed now.."

 

"I'll be up in a bit," Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded hugging Carole before going upstairs. Blaine gave a sad smile as his husband left.

 

"So..How is everything? .." Carole asked.

 

"Good." Blaine nodded.

 

"What happened last night?.."

 

"I said something I shouldn't have.."

 

"What do you mean?.." She asked.

 

"It was a misunderstanding. We were being.. intimate and just.. I really don't want to go into details.."

 

She nodded. "Was he okay?..When you talked to him?.."

 

"Yeah. He's better.."

 

"That's good.." She said sweetly. "I don't know what we'd do without you, Blaine.

 

"I'm glad to be here," Blaine said sincerely.

 

She nodded, leaning over and pulling him into a hug. "Are you okay?.."

 

"I am. I'm just worried.."

 

"About?"

 

"Claude. He says he has plans for Kurt. It scares me.."

 

Carole raised an eyebrow. "He might just be trying to scare you, Blaine.."

 

"I hope so.."

 

"He's all talk most of the time."

 

"I know." Blaine sighed. "I'm just scared it'll get worse if we have a kid."

 

"I've warmed up to the idea..It might be good for him.."

 

"You think so?"

 

"I do.."

 

Blaine smiled. "Thank you."

 

"You're welcome sweetie.."

 

Blaine kissed her cheek. "I'm going to get some sleep."

 

"Goodnight, Blaine.."

 

Blaine said goodnight before going to climb into bed with his husband. Kurt was already asleep, smiling and hugging Blaine's pillow. Blaine couldn't help but smile. He loved seeing his husband at ease. He curled up to Kurt and let sleep take him.


	14. Chapter 14

They were in the airport about to board the flight to New York. Blaine was searching for the sleeping pills for Kurt, but he couldn't find them.  
"Babe.. I don't see them. Did you take them out?"

 

"No.." Kurt said, grabbing the bag from Blaine and digging through it's contents.

 

"I can go see if the little store over there has some sleeping aids.."

 

Kurt looked up as the speaker called for the last call to board. 'Blaine.." He whimpered.

 

"We have to go, Kurt.. I'll be here. Don't be scared.."

 

Kurt shook his head, gripping the arms of his chair.

 

"Look baby, I love you. You're going to be okay. You can do this." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt looked up into Blaine's eyes before closing the bag and standing.

 

You can do it." Blaine repeated as they boarded.

 

Kurt was practically shaking as they sat. Blaine gave Kurt the window seat, which he promptly pulled the shade down on. He helped Kurt get buckled in and pulled him close as he started to hum softly.

 

"I just want to go home..I don't want to be here.." Kurt got out.

 

"I know, I know," Blaine soothed. "Just focus on me. Don't think about where we are."

 

Kurt nodded, bringing a hand up to cup Blaine's cheek. Blaine looked at Kurt with love and devotion. "It's just us."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, giving Blaine a soft kiss as the engine started. He whimpered, squeezing his eyes closed.

 

Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek. "Shh, it's okay. I promise."

 

Kurt nodded again, burying his face in Blaine's neck. It was going to be a long flight. Blaine hummed a soft tune as he held his husband. Kurt didn't relax for the whole flight, his breathing growing frantic as they ran into some turbulence.  
"I won't let you out.." He whispered. "I won't.."

 

"You can do it baby. Ignore him." Blaine said quietly. Kurt whined, clutching to Blaine tighter as the plane jerked.  
"It's okay, Kurt. I'm here.."

 

The rest of the flight was relatively calm. Kurt only gasped a bit as they landed. He couldn't wait to get off of the plan. The passengers behind them let the couple go first. Blaine grabbed their bags and followed his husband. Kurt sighed happily as they walked into the airport. "Thank god.."

 

"You okay?" Blaine asked.

 

"Yes.." Kurt sighed, pulling Blaine into a hug.

 

Blaine held Kurt close. "I love you."

 

"I love you too.."

 

"Let's get home."

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine's hand as they went to go get their bags. They got them and headed home.  
When they walked inside, Kurt pulled his jacket off before lying down and spreading out on the carpet.

 

Blaine chuckled. "Missed home?"

 

Kurt nodded, humming happily. Blaine smiled as he put their bags in the bedroom. He heard the record player come on and smiled softly as he walked back out to see Kurt holding his arms out to him. Blaine gladly took Kurt's hands and pulled him close. Kurt laughed as Blaine took the lead and they danced around the room. Kurt was really smiling and laughing. He looked so happy. Blaine loved these moments. Kurt just looked so beautiful and worry free.. Blaine twirled Kurt around. His musical laugh filled the room again as he let Blaine hold him close. "Lets get married.." he smiled.

"I can't wait to marry you again." Blaine grinned. Kurt leaned in, pressing his lips to Blaine's and humming softly. "You're perfect.."

 

"No.." Kurt said smiling and, biting his lip.

 

"You are in my eyes."

 

"Well..You're perfect.." Kurt said, tilting his head and smiling.

 

Blaine chuckled. "You want to go surprise Raleigh?"

 

Kurt lit up. "Can we?"

 

"We can."

 

Kurt nodded, grinning. "Oh! I have to take pictures and show her!"

 

"Go get ready." Blaine smiled. Kurt nodded, walking off to the room. Blaine grabbed some clothes and went to shower.  
A few minutes into his shower, he gasped sharply as Kurt pulled opened the curtain and stepped in with him.  
"Oh my god, you scared me!" Blaine said, his heart still racing.

 

"I'm sorry." Kurt apologized, his eyebrows kneading together. "I didn't mean to."

 

Blaine chuckled. "It's okay. I just didn't hear you."

 

Kurt nodded, looking down at his husband. "Let me wash you?.."

 

Blaine nodded, handing Kurt a wash cloth. Kurt smiled, squeezing some of his body soap on it and starting to wash Blaine's chest. Blaine closed his eyes at the touch.  
"You're just beautiful.." Kurt whispered.

 

"Thank you."

 

Kurt ran the rag over Blaine's body, watching with wide eyes as it passed over each curve.  
"I love this." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love touching you." Kurt said, setting the rag down and replacing it with his hands. Blaine gave a soft sigh as he relaxed.

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too."

 

Kurt took his time washing Blaine, smiling lightly to himself the entire time. Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt softly. Kurt closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and inhaling softly. Blaine took the rag and slowly washed his husband. Kurt watched Blaine's face and kissed his forehead softly, smiling as his curls tickled his nose. Blaine made sure to go slow. He cherished moments like this. Moments Claude couldn't ruin. Kurt hummed softly, closing his eyes.  
After their shower, the couple got dressed and headed out. Kurt looked out the window, unable to help the uneasy feeling that was settling on him as they approached the hospital.  
"Remember, you're just a visitor today." Blaine said as they got out.

 

Kurt nodded, quickly grabbing Blaine's hand. Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand as they went inside and signed in.

"Hey Kurt.." The nurse smiled.

 

"Hello.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"How are you?" She asked.

 

"Better.." He nodded, looking down.

 

"Good." The older woman smiled.

 

"Is Raleigh here?.."

 

"She is. Come on. I'll take you to her room."

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand. They followed the nurse back. She knocked on Raleigh's door. "You have some visitors."

 

Raleigh looked up from her spot on the bed and her eyes lit up. "Kurt! Blaine!"

 

"Hey." Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt walked inside, pulling her into a hug.

 

"I miss you." Raleigh said sadly.

 

"I miss you too.." Kurt said, pulling her closer.

 

"How have you been? What's it like outside of this place?"

 

"I've been good." Kurt said softly, pulling away. "I brought pictures! "

 

"Come sit!" She grinned, jumping into her bed.

 

Kurt smiled climbing onto the bed with her while Blaine sat on a chair across from them.  
"This is our apartment." He said, showing her on his camera.

 

"Oh, wow. It's nice."

 

Kurt smiled going through the pictures. "That's my brother Finn, and his wife, Rachel..And that..That's Blaine's ass."

 

"Ohmygod!" Raleigh giggled.

 

"What?!" Blaine gasped.

 

Kurt went to the next picture. "Nothing." He smiled.

 

"Why do you have a picture of that?"

 

"It's mine, I can have a picture of it if I want."

 

"You don't need to show people." Blaine muttered, clearly embarrassed.

 

"Its okay Blaine. I think you have a great ass." Raleigh smiled. Blaine just looked away as his blush grew. The two on the bed laughed together and continued to look through the pictures.  
The couple spent the afternoon there with Raleigh. Raleigh seemed happy. She'd gained some weight, and had some color in her face, but she still looked like something was wrong..  
"Blaine, can I talk to Raleigh alone..?"

 

Blaine nodded, smiling at them and stepping out.

 

"What's going on?" Kurt asked.

 

"Nothing's going on.." Raleigh said quietly

 

"Raleigh, I know you. Talk to me."

 

The younger girl sighed, looking down. "I was going to kill myself today."

 

Kurt gasped. He reached out for her hand. "Why?"

 

"I just want to go home.." She whispered, tearing up. "But they're never going to let me go. I've gained and lost and gained again..It's never good enough."

 

Kurt pulled his friend close. "You can go home. You just have to not lose it after gaining. Look at me.. I got to go home. You can too."

 

"You had Blaine to help you..I don't have anyone.."

 

"You have me.."

 

"I'm so glad you came.."

 

"Me too," Kurt said softly. What would happen when he moved to Ohio..?

 

"I've gained enough..I just need to keep it on..Even though I hate it.." Raleigh whispered.

 

"You look good, though." Kurt said seriously.

 

"Thank you..I'm trying to see it."

 

"You will." Kurt encouraged.

 

Ralegh pulled him into a hug. "If you two wouldn't have come.."

 

"We did. I'll try to come more."

 

"You don't have to..I don't want you to feel obligated.."

 

"I want to. I want you to be okay."

 

Raleigh smiled, nodding lightly.

 

"You still have our number too." Kurt said.

 

"I do.." She smiled. Blaine knocked on the door, poking his head in. "Can I come back in?"

 

"Yeah." Kurt smiled at his husband.

 

Blaine walked inside. "You really look amazing Raleigh."

 

"Thank you.." She said as she put her arms around her stomach.

 

Kurt took her hands, pulling them away. "Hey..At least you don't have to hide this.." He said, gesturing to the cuts and scars on his face and arms. "You're beautiful..."

 

"No. I have to hide my fat."

 

"You're not fat.." Kurt said seriously, placing his hand on her cheek. "You're perfect."

 

Raleigh gave a weak smile.

 

Kurt grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her forehead, smiling as he pulled away.

 

"I really missed you.."

 

"I missed you too." He said softly.  
They spent the day together, doing things around the hospital.  
"I took care of your sunflower for you while you were gone." Raleigh said as they walked out to the garden.

 

"Look how big it is, Blaine!" Kurt grinned. He ran over to the flower. It was almost as tall as he was. He gently traced over the leaf and laughed happily before running over to Raleigh and hugging her tight.

 

"Its gorgeous. Thanks, Raleigh." Blaine said softly

 

Raleigh nodded as Kurt released her abd grabbed BlIne's hand. "It's taller than you!..I'll name it Blaine."

 

"Ohmygod." Blaine chucked.

 

Kurt giggled and kissed Blaine softly. "Visiting hours are almost over.."

 

"We'll come back soon." Blaine promised. Raleigh nodded, hugging them both. They said goodbye and walked her to her room before leaving.

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine as they left. "Do you think she'll be okay?.."

Blaine nodded. "I think if she can see that she's gorgeous then she'd be okay."

Kurt nodded, chewing on his bottom lip.

 

"Did she say something?"

 

Kurt sighed. "She was going to kill herself today.."

 

Blaine looked over quickly. "What?"

 

Kurt nodded. "If we didn't come..she would be.." He trailed off.

 

"But we did, baby. She's okay."

"It just..It's scary.."

 

"I know.. We'll come see her as much as we can." Blaine said softy. Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand. Blaine held onto Kurt's hand the whole way home.  
That night, in bed, Kurt rested his head on Blaine's chest and toyed with the hair there.  
"Blaine?.."

 

"Yeah babe?"

 

"What would you do if I killed myself?.."

 

Blaine sat up quickly. "What the hell are you talking about?"

 

"I-I was just asking.." Kurt said, looking up at Blaine.

 

"I don't want to live without you."

 

"I know..Just..What would you do?.."

 

"I don't know, Kurt. Losing you again.. For good.." Blaine took a deep breath and held it in. "I-I can't.."

 

"What if we already had our daughter?.." Kurt asked.

 

"Kurt, where is this coming from?" Blaine asked seriously.

 

"I don't know..I just..I feel like I need to know.." The taller whispered.

 

"I wouldn't have a choice.."

 

Kurt looked down. He didn't know why he was thinking about this. He didn't like it. But he needed to know Blaine would be okay if anything happened to him.

 

"I won't have a kid if that's why you want one." Blaine said quietly. He laid down, his back to Kurt.

 

"Blaine..That's not why I want to have a child with you.." Kurt said seriously.

 

"Why are you thinking about this?"

 

"I-I don't know..."

 

Blaine sighed. "Please don't do anything to hurt yourself.."

 

"Are you mad at me?.." Kurt whispered, tugging lightly on his hair.

 

"No. Just.. I know I always hold you and everything. I-I just really need you tonight.."

 

Kurt scooted closer to Blaine, resting his chin on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around him. Blaine took another deep breath as he pressed himself back to Kurt. Kurt kissed Blaine's jaw softly, molding his body to Blaine's and tangling their legs together.  
"I love you, Kurt.."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered. "I like holding you.." He said after a while. "It's like its my turn to keep you safe.."

 

"I've needed this for so long.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Why didn't you ask?.."

 

"I wanted to be strong for you.."

 

"You are..But everything strong needs support..Or it'll break.."

 

Blaine turned around and wrapped himself around Kurt. "I don't want to break.."

 

"Then let me support you.." Kurt said quietly, cupping his cheek.

 

"I will." Blaine nodded.

 

Kurt nodded back, leaning in to kiss Blaine deeply. Blaine gasped, melting against his husband. Kurt pulled Blaine closer before rolling on top of him and deepening the kiss. Blaine wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist and let out a broken moan. Kurt held Blaine close, rolling his hips down and pulling lightly at Blaine's shirt.

 

"Please.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt nodded, kissing down Blaine's neck before pulling his shirt off. Kurt admired his husband in the dim light before undressing him the rest of the way and pulling his own clothes off.

 

"You still think I'm beautiful..?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I know you are.." Kurt said softly, running his hands up Blaine's stomach and across his chest.

 

Blaine gasped softly. "Thank you.."

 

Kurt smiled before grabbing the lube out of the drawer. Blaine licked his lips as he spread his thighs slightly. Kurt reached down, slowly spreading the lube across his length. Blaine watched his husband. "You're so perfect.."

 

"Shh.." Kurt whispered, kissing his forehead. "Let me take care of you.."

 

Blaine nodded, relaxing against the bed. Kurt gripped the base of his member, pushing in slowly as his kissed Blaine's cheeks and forehead. Blaine gasped, pulling Kurt closer.  
"I've got you.." Kurt said quietly, stroking Blaine's hair. Blaine fluttered his eyes open and looked up at his husband. Kurt looked down at Blaine with loving eyes before leaning in to kiss him. He began rolling his hips, his breath hitching slightly at the tight heat. Blaine moaned quietly, losing himself in Kurt. Everything about this was perfect, exactly what he needed. Blaine had tried so hard to be strong for Kurt. But his husband was right. He needed to let go and let Kurt take care of him. Kurt watched Blaine. He had never seen him more exposed. He kissed his neck softly, creating the perfect angle as he thrust a bit faster. Blaine's mouth fell open in a silent moan. This is what he craved with the men he had been with after he left Kurt. He searched for this feeling. All the love and commitment. This..finally having it back.. Blaine let a tear slip down his cheek as he let the familiar feeling come back. Kurt slowed down. "Blaine, why are you crying?..A-Are you okay?..I'm sorry.." He said quickly.

 

Blaine shook his head. "No.. Don't stop. I-I missed this.. I just.. I love you so much.."

 

Kurt nodded, wiping the drop away before pressing their lips together and moving his hips in that amazing way.

 

"Kurt!" Blaine gasped.

 

Kurt gave a small inhale as he heard Blaine say his name. He pulled him closer, giving deep, slow thrusts into his lover. Blaine wrapped his arms around his husband's neck and tightened his legs around his waist. Kurt gave a quiet moan. This felt so good. Not just the sex..But being so close to Blaine. He looked so..different. Relaxed. Blaine always tried to be so composed. This was a new side of him.. Blaine closed his eyes, letting himself give in to his husband. Kurt kissed Blaine's ear, panting softly against it. "Blaine.." he moaned.

 

"K-Kurt.. I'm close.."

 

Kurt nodded, pulling back and watching Blaine's face as he sped up his hips. Blaine arched his back as the coiling in the pit of his stomach increased. He let out a loud moan of his husband's name as he came between them. Kurt gasped, watching Blaine's face in amazement as he gave a few more thrusts and came, panting softly. Blaine clutched to his husband as they rode out the orgasms. Kurt kissed Blaine deeply before grabbing a tissue to clean Blaine up. Blaine relaxed on the bed. "So perfect."

 

Kurt smiled lightly before pulling him close. "I love you. "

 

"I love you so much."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt said, stroking Blaine's hair.

 

Blaine curled up to Kurt as sighed happily.

 

"I've never seen you like this.."

 

"Never..?"

 

"Well..Not that I remember..you just seem so..Relaxed.." Kurt said.

 

"I am." Blaine smiled sleepily.

 

Kurt kissed Blaine. "Goodnight, baby.."

 

"Mmm, night."


	15. Chapter 15

The next two months were a bit hectic, packing and finding movers. Blaine politely turned down the offer from his parents for the new house, and this time, they chose to drive to Ohio. They finally had everything packed. Finn flew to New York to help. He was driving the U-Haul while Blaine and Kurt took the car. Kurt seemed happy that they wouldn't be flying, but Blaine was a bit concerned with how long he would want to sit in the car.  
They started the long drive, Blaine hoping everything would be okay. He brought a bag of books to keep kurt occupied, but Kurt sighed as he dug through them. "I've already read all of these.."

 

"All of them?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded, flipping through one and making a face before shoving it back in the bag. Blaine sighed. "Do you want me to stop and get a new one?"

 

"No..Ill be fine." Kurt said, leaning back in his chair.

 

"Okay." Blaine said as he continued driving.

 

As they drove, Kurt was fidgeting, shifting in his seat, and looking around. "How much longer?"

 

"We still have quite aways to go."

 

Kurt sighed dramatically, pulling his seat belt off.

 

"Kurt." Blaine sighed. "You really should wear that."

 

"Why? You're not gonna wreck.."

 

"I don't feel safe if you don't wear it."

 

Kurt groaned, pulling it back on and pressing his forehead against the window. Blaine just took a deep breath and turned the radio on. Kurt closed his eyes, humming along softly.  
They drove a while longer before getting a call from Finn saying he was hungry.  
"Does that mean we can stop?" Kurt asked, perking up.

 

"Yes." Blaine chuckled. "Where do you want to stop?"

 

"Anywhere." Kurt said seriously.

 

Blaine nodded, taking the next exit and stopping at a little diner. Kurt quickly got out, groaning as he stretched.

 

Blaine sighed as he got out. "Jesus."

 

"Hm?" Kurt asked, cracking his back as Finn pulled up in the truck behind them.

 

"Just feels good to stand."

 

Kurt nodded as Finn got out and walked over to them. "Damn, I'm starving.."

 

"You're always starving." Kurt laughed.

 

"True." Finn chuckled as they walked in. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand, squeezing lightly.

 

They were seated and got their drinks as they went over the menu.

 

Kurt leaned against Blaine, sighing happily as he looked at the menu. "I couldn't cuddle you in the car.."

 

"You can now." Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt grinned, nuzzling in the crook of Blaine's neck. "Moving is long.."

 

"It is. But it'll be over soon."

 

"What do you want to eat honey?" A waitress asked softly.

 

"I'll take the double cheeseburger. But can I make it a triple with cheese on my fries?" Finn asked.

 

"Of course." She smiled.

 

"Order for me?.." Kurt asked quietly, looking at his husband.

 

"The linguini for my husband and chicken finger platter for me, thank you." Blaine smiled.

 

She nodded, writing it down before walking off.

 

"So, are you happy about moving?" Finn asked.

 

Kurt nodded, peeling open a small pack of crackers and eating them. "New York is too busy."

1  
"True. It's not what I thought it would be." Blaine agreed.

 

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

 

"I don't know. It just wasn't as amazing as I imagined."

 

Kurt nodded, sipping his water. "I'll miss it a little.."

 

"Me too. So much happened there." Blaine said softly. "But we'll go home, be with family and start out own family."

 

Kurt kissed Blaine softly. "We'll be so happy.."

 

"We will." Blaine grinned.

 

"I know Rachel will be happy to have you home." Finn said.

 

"I love Rachel." Kurt said, lighting up at the name.

 

"Rachel loves you." Finn said.

 

Blaine sat back and watched as his husband seemed to come more to life. He was so much happier than when he found him. Kurt smiled, going on and on about what they would do when they got to Ohio. They ate dinner and talked before getting back on the road. Kurt didn't seem to happy about getting in the car, but he was a bit less vocal about it  
As night approached, they found a small motel and Blaine gave Kurt one of his sleeping pills to help him relax. Kurt looked up at Blaine and reached out for him. "Baby..Come let me hold you.."

 

Blaine nodded before crawling into bed and pressing his back to his husband. Kurt hummed, pulling his husband close. "Night guys" Finn smiled as he plopped into hid bed.

 

"Night Finn."

 

"Good night old brother." Kurt giggled.

 

"Hey, You're just as old as I am.." Finn laughed.

 

"You're still older." Kurt teased.

 

Blaine giggled. "You two are ridiculous."

 

"You know you missed it." Finn smiled.

 

"Ill get plenty of it when we move back." Blaine chuckled.

 

Kurt laughed before kissing Blaine's neck. "I love you, Blaine."

 

"I love you too, baby.."

 

The next morning came quicker than they would have liked. Kurt was in no mood to get out bed, especially with how tired his sleeping medicine kept him in the morning.

 

"Kurt.. We'll be late getting home." Blaine sighed.

 

"I don't care.." Kurt mumbled.  
Thursday

 

Blaine groaned, giving in and rolling over.

 

"Kurt, come on. Both of you." Finn said, quickly ripping the covers from the bed, drawing a long whine of protest from Kurt.

 

Blaine sighed. "Baby, we should go."

 

"I'm so fucking tired."

 

"Sleep in the car." Finn shrugged.

 

Kurt growled, rolling out of bed and slumping to rhe bathroom. Blaine got up and pulled some new clothes on before making sure they had everything Kurt came out in Blaine's sweatpants, which were a little too short, and his T-shirt. Blaine couldn't stop his smile from spreading. "You're so cute."

 

Kurt rubbed his eyes, giving a sleepy smile. Blaine kissed his husband softly. "Why don't we let Finn take the car? You can lay down in the truck."

 

Kurt nodded, kissing Blaine again.

 

"Finn, you mind running to get some breakfast before we leave?" Blaine asked. "Just something simple."

 

Finn shook his head. "I'll be back."

 

"Lay down and relax. I'll put our bags in the truck." Blaine said to his husband.

 

"Wait.." Kurt said, pulling Blaine close as Finn walked out.

 

"Hmm?" Blaine asked, placing his hands on Kurt's hips.

 

Kurt smiled, pressing his chest to Blaine's. "You know.."

 

"I want to hear it." Blaine grinned.

 

Kurt blushed. "I want you.."

 

Blaine leaned in, kissing him deeply. Kurt gasped, before letting out a quiet moan.  
"We have to be quick." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt nodded. "Please..O-On the counter.."

 

Blaine growled, picking Kurt up and setting him on the counter. Kurt gave a small squeak, and smiled wide, pulling his shirt off.  
"So sexy." Blaine breathed out as he pulled his pants down.

 

Kurt bit his lip. "Fill me.." He whispered.

 

Blaine gripped Kurt's hips after pulling his sweats off. He pulled his husbad closer and slowly slid into him. Kurt moaned deeply, spreading his legs wide. Blaine gasped, pressing all the way in. Kurt gave a sharp gasp, pushing his hips down. Blaine gripped his husband's hips harder as he thrust fast. Kurt cried out, arching his back.  
"Kurt.. Fuck.."

 

"Blaine..Baby..Harder-ah!"

 

Blaine sped up, hitting his prostate roughly. Kurt nearly screamed, rolling his body and wrapping his legs around Blaine's waist.

 

"Fuck. Let me hear you." Blaine moaned, scratching down his chest. Kurt threw his head back, screaming Blaine's name between his pants. Blaine growled deep in his throat as he continued to hit that spot. Kurt whined, his voice jumping with each thrust. Blaine's moans grew deeper as he edged closer.  
"Blaine..Blaine..Please..I-I'm so close.." Kurt gasped.

 

"Come with me.. Kurrrt.."

 

Kurt tightened, moaning as his back arched off of the table and his orgasm hit him. Blaine gave a loud, intoxicating moan as he spilled himself inside his lover. Kurt panted harshly, dragging his fingers through the come on his stomach.  
"Kurt.." Blaine breathed out.

 

"Hmm?.."

 

"So good.."

 

Kurt smiled, giggling lightly. Blaine kissed Kurt before cleaning them up and getting dressed. Kurt smiled as he looked at Blaine. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too."

 

"Do I have to get dressed?.."

 

"You can wear the sweats." Blaine said softly. Kurt grinned, pulling them on.

Finn came back a few minutes later with their food.

Kurt bounced over to him. "What'd you get?"

 

"A breakfast bowl. A few bacon, egg and cheese biscuits. Juice. A few croissants. Two fruit bowls. Pick what you like."

 

Kurt grinned, pulling out a biscuit and a fruit bowl.

 

Blaine sat down and took a biscuit and croissant.

 

"You gonna eat more?" Finn asked.

 

"I'm good. How about you?" Blaine asked his husband.

 

"Hmm.." Kurt hummed before grabbing a couple of pieces of bacon.

 

"Take what you want." Finn smiled.

 

They ate, Kurt smiling to himself. Today would be a good day. Blaine rubbed his stomach as he stood. "Well, you ready to get this trip over with?"

 

"Yes." Finn said, nodding.

 

Blaine took the last sip of his drink and grabbed his bag. Kurt and Blaine climbed up in the truck while Finn followed from behind in the car. Luckily, they did most of the driving the previous day.  
They pulled up to the house and Kurt grinned. "We're home!"

 

"We are." Blaine smiled. "Let's get some of it unpacked. Carole wants us over for dinner tonight."

 

Kurt nodded, smiling as he got out of the truck. They spent almost three hours unpacking before taking showers and getting dressed. Kurt wandered around the house, smiling wide.  
"You think you'll be happy here?" Blaine asked.

 

"I know it.." Kurt said softly before his eyebrows kneaded together and his hand drifted to his hair.

 

"Baby? What is it?" Blaine asked, reaching up to pull Kurt's hands away.

 

"Just..Him..I can't.." Kurt whispered.

 

"What is he saying?.."

 

"I don't know..He's just laughing..And..Hes mumbling..I.." Kurt's breath started to grow faster.

 

Blaine pulled his husband close. "I know it's hard. Try to ignore him. We're here. He can't stop this."

 

Kurt nodded, bringing his hands up over his ears.

 

Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head. "I love you.. I love you so much."

 

"I-I love you to...I..I just wish he would go away!" Kurt growled.

 

Blaine gasped. He still wasn't used to Kurt when he got this way. "I know.. I know, baby.."

 

Kurt reached up to pull his hair, grunting in protest when Blaine pulled his hand away.

 

"Stop. He wants you to hurt yourself. Show him you don't have to."

 

"But it helps.."

 

"Don't give into him, Kurt. You're stronger than that."

 

Kurt's bottom lip quivered before he pulled away from Blaine, suddenly angry. "You don't know how hard this is!"

 

"I'm just trying to help.."

 

Kurt turned away, looking down. "I-I know..It's. .I'm sorry..I can't just not listen..He sounds as real as you..And he's right in my ear all day..Just..talking..And no one can stop him.. not even this fucking medicine.."

 

"I know you can't just stop. I just start saying things, hoping you can focus on me." Blaine explained quietly. "I can't stand to sit back and watch you hurt yourself.."

 

Kurt turned around and looked at his husband. "I'm sorry.."

 

"Don't be."

 

"I shouldn't yell at you.." Kurt whispered. "This is hard for you too."

 

"It is.. But I'm trying. And I don't need to push you."

 

Kurt leaned against Blaine resting his head on his shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry.."

 

"Don't be.."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt's neck softly. "Are you ready to go?"

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hand softly. Blaine grabbed the keys and they headed to Carole's. When they got there, Kurt smiled as he saw Rachel waiting outside for them.  
"Hey!" She grinned happily Kurt got out and hugged her tightly.

 

"Finally home." Rachel said happily.

 

"I love it.." Kurt said , smiling

 

"Good. We're so happy you're here."

 

Kurt nodded, smiling over at Blaine. Blaine hugged Rachel before they all went inside. Kurt smiled as he saw Finn and Carole inside. "Hey.."

 

"Kurt, how are you, sweetie?" Carole asked as she pulled him in for a hug.

 

"Good..Tired.."

 

"I made your favorite."

 

"You did?" Kurt smiled, perking up.

 

"I sure did." Carole grinned.

 

Kurt grinned, looking over at Blaine. He was grateful for being with his family, but Claude just wouldn't shut up.

 

"Go sit down. I'll bring it to the table."

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine's hand and pulling him to the table. Carole brought two pans of chicken enchiladas out and set them in the middle of the table.  
Kurt grinned. "Thank you." He said happily.

 

"You're welcome, sweetie."

 

Kurt happily ate, trying to ignore the voice in the back of his head.

 

"So, you really want to help out at the shop with Finn?" Carole asked.

 

Kurt nodded. "Blaine said I could sit up front and do the computer work.."

 

"Well, if it gets too boring, you can come help me out sometimes." Rachel suggested.

 

"I don't think I'll get tired of Blaine a sweaty and dirty." Kurt chuckled.

 

Finn rolled his eyes. "You two just keep from doing it while at work."

 

"We will." Blaine said as he blushed.

 

Kurt bit his lip. "No promises."

 

Finn just sighed.

 

"Don't act like you've never had Rachel there." Kurt smiled before realizing how much they haven't tried. "Or at least thought about it."

 

"Kurt!" Rachel laughed, smiling.

 

"What?" He grinned.

 

"You're silly."

 

"You're just not adventurous."

 

"I think that's enough." Carole said.

 

Kurt chuckled, blushing lightly.  
They finished diner and went to relax in the living room.  
Kurt leaned against Blaine, humming softly. "You guys should come see the house.."

 

"Let's get everything unpacked first." Blaine said.

 

"It's so nice." Kurt said. "I want them to come look.."

 

"Okay."

 

"We can wait, though.." Kurt said softly, reaching up to trace Blaine's bottom lip.

 

"I don't mind. It's just kind of messy." Blaine said.

 

"We'll wait.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine nodded, holding Kurt close.

 

"You two are still sickeningly cute.." Finn said.

 

"I've missed seeing them like this." Carole smiled. Kurt blushed, hiding his face in Blaine's neck.

 

"You two wanna go out tonight?" Rachel asked.

 

"Where to?"

 

"There's a club not too far from here."

 

"Club?" Kurt asked, looking up. "Is there gonna be a lot of people?.."

 

"Yeah." Finn said.

 

"Oh.. I forgot. We don't have to." Rachel said quickly.

 

"Well..I..I think we could go.." Kurt said timidly, looking at Blaine.

 

"It's up to you, baby." Blaine said softly.

 

"I-I'm a little nervous.."

 

"We don't have to. Or if you want to try but need to leave, then we'll go. I don't mind." Blaine said.

 

Kurt nodded. "We can try.."

 

Rachel grinned. "It'll be so much fun!"

 

Kurt smiled weakly, giving a small nod.

 

"You want to meet us at our house?" Blaine asked.

 

"Sounds great." Finn said.

 

Blaine and Kurt thanked Carole for dinner before going home to freshen up. Kurt took his time getting ready, meticulously combing his hair and selecting his outfit. Blaine walked into the room in his tightest pants, a white button down shirt and red vest with a bow tie. He sighed heavily. "Do I like alright..?"

 

Kurt smiled wide, walking over to his husband. "You look perfect.."

 

"Thank you.."

 

Kurt leaned in, giving Blaine a soft kiss.

 

"You're so gorgeous.." Blaine whispered.

 

Kurt blushed deeply. Fluttering his lashes slightly.

 

Blaine grinned. "I love when you do that."

 

A smile spread across Kurt's lips as he looked down. Blaine always made him feel shy like this.

 

Blaine leaned in for a kiss. "I love you."

 

"I love you too...W-Will you hold my hand while we're in there?.."

 

Blaine nodded. "And I'll hold you close so everyone knows you're mine. No one will mess with you."

 

Kurt smiled as Blaine wrapped his arms around him to demonstrate. He placed his hands on Blaine's biceps and squeezed lightly. "You won't leave me?.."

 

"Never."

 

Kurt nodded, kissing him sweetly. "Thank you.."

 

"You're welcome." Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, sighing softly. Blaine pulled apart when he heard Finn knocking on the door. Kurt pouted slightly, but followed as Blaine went to go let them in.

 

"Oh wow. You look amazing." Blaine told Rachel.

 

"Thank you, Blaine. You look awfully handsome yourself." Rachel smiled, smoothing down her dress.

 

"Thanks." Blaine chuckled.

 

They walked inside, looking around. "This place is beautiful.." Rachel said softly.

 

"I really like it." Kurt said.

 

"Me too." Finn said.

 

"So what's this club like?"

 

"It's pretty big, but it shouldn't be too busy.." Rachel said.

 

Kurt nodded, linking arms with Blaine.

 

"You guys ready?

 

"We are."

 

"Let's go!" Rachel smiled.

 

They all walked out and got into Finn's car. Kurt was bouncing his leg quickly as they drove. He couldn't help his nervous feeling in his chest.  
"Are you sure you want to be here?" Blaine asked.

 

"Yeah..It'll be fine..."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek. "I'll be right there with you."

 

Kurt nodded, trying not to squeeze his hand too tight. They got out and walked up to the door. Finn paid the cover charge for everyone and they were let in. Kurt looked around with wide eyes. There were so many people.. Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt and held him close. Kurt kept his hand on Blaine's chest as they navigated through the crowd. They found a spot and Blaine smiled softly. "Wanna dance?"

 

Kurt nodded, smiling as Blaine pulled him close. Blaine held Kurt as he started to dance. Kurt started to feel himself relaxing as he moved with Blaine. This wasn't that bad. Blaine turned Kurt around and pressed his back to his chest. He kissed Kurt's neck softly. Kurt hummed softly, letting his head fall back.

 

"This is fun." Blaine smiled. He hadn't had a night out since before finding Kurt.

 

"It is.." Kurt grinned.

 

Blaine looked over and saw Rachel grinding on Finn. "When did she get a little wild?" He laughed.

 

"When I helped her realize that she should be.." Kurt chuckled.

 

"Good for her." Blaine smiled.

 

Kurt giggled, turning his face to kiss Blaine softly. Blaine moaned quietly. This was perfect. Kurt smiled against Blaine's lips, rolling his body.

 

"You're so hot.."

Kurt gasped softly, looking up at him. Blaine grinned at Kurt, moving his body with his husband's.  
About an hour later, Kurt was getting a little hot. "I need some water.." He said softly.

 

"I'll get you some." Blaine said.

 

Kurt nodded, grabbing Blaine's hand as they moved through the crowd. Kurt saw rachel through the bodies and told Blaine he was going to dance with her. He pulled away, squeezing through the crowd. Blaine continued to the bar. It took him a bit longer than expected to get himself a drink and water for Kurt. He walked over to Rachel and Finn. "Where's Kurt?" He called over the music.

 

"He was with you." Rachel said.

 

"He left to go dance with you.."  
Saturday

 

"He never came over here.."

 

Blaine set the drinks on the table as he felt panic rising in him. "Shit.."

 

"Where would he go?.."

 

"I don't know, we have to find him..Fuck.." Blaine got out before walking into the crowd to search for his husband, calling his name. They all searched the club but didn't find him. Blaine ran a hand through his hair as Rachel caught up with him. "Where could he be?.."

 

Kurt couldn't breathe. He thought he knew the way home..But he had no idea where he was. There was trees..And a car would shoot by every once in a while, making Kurt jump and take a few steps into the ditch.  
He couldn't find Blaine, Finn, or Rachel anywhere in the club. He started to panic with all of the people pushing and pulling against him. He had to get out. He blacked out and found himself walking down a back road with tears streaming down his face.

 

A car slowed down and a leggy woman got out. "Hello? Do you need help?" she asked.

 

Kurt stopped and looked at her for a moment. He felt like he knew her..  
"I-I can't..I'm lost.."

 

"Kurt?" She asked. "Ohmygod!"

 

Kurt took a step back, his eyebrows kneading together.  
"I'm sorry..I-I don't.."

 

"It's me. Brittany!"

 

"Brittany?..I don't know..I.." Kurt stammered.

 

"Dated Santana. We were Cheerios.."

 

Kurt just looked confused. "D-Do you know where I live?.."

 

"I know where your mom lives." she said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, letting her lead him into the car.

 

"When did you get back?"

 

"Today..Blaine and I moved back.."

 

"You're still with Blaine?"

 

"W-We broke up..For a while..But we're married now.." Kurt whispered. Thinking of Blaine made his heart speed up. He would be so mad at him..

 

"That's so great. You two were always so great together." Brittany smiled. Kurt nodded, wrapping his arms around himself. She pulled up into Carole's driveway and walked Kurt to the door.  
Carole opened the door and looked between Brittany and Kurt. "Sweetie..What's wrong? Where's Blaine?"

 

"H-He's at the club. We got separated."

 

"Come inside..We can call him..Oh..You..You're Brittany from glee club..I remember you, sweetie, come inside.." Carole said softly.

 

Kurt walked in with his head down. He knew he needed to let Blaine know where he was but he was so scared. "Can you call him..?"

 

Carole nodded, grabbing the phone and dialing Blaine's number.

 

Blaine was frantically running to Finn's car when he heard his phone. "Hello?"

 

"Hey sweetie..Kurt's here." Carole said softly. "Brittany, one of Kurt's friends from high school, saw him and brought him here.."

 

"Oh thank god." Blaine breathed out. "I'm on my way."

 

"Drive carefully. " She said softly before hanging up.

 

Blaine turned to his brother in law. "He's at Carole's."

 

Finn and Rachel both sighed in relief. "How? .."

 

"Brittany found him walking."

 

They nodded, all of them piling into the car and driving to Carole's. Blaine hurried inside and found Kurt. "Are you okay..?"

 

Kurt nodded, not looking up at Blaine.

 

"Why did you leave..?"

 

"I-I couldn't find you..You said you'd be right back.."

 

Blaine shook his head. "No. You said you were going to Rachel but you didn't."

 

Kurt kept his eyes down. "Just take me home."

 

"Alright.." Blaine sighed before noticing the tall blonde. "Hey Britt. Thank you so much for picking him up."

 

"Your welcome." She smiled, hugging an unresponsive Kurt before giving the rest of the family hugs.

 

Blaine gave her their number before taking his husband home. Kurt stayed quiet in the car, staring out the window. They went inside and Kurt pulled off his shirt, walking upstairs to the room. "You said you wouldn't leave me.."

 

"You've got to be kidding me." Blaine sighed.

 

"What?" Kurt asked, looking back at Blaine.

 

"You ask me to get you a drink and say you're going to dance with Rachel. Then you blame me?"

 

"You could've told me to stay with you." Kurt said, looking in the drawer as he searched for a shirt.

 

"I'm your husband not your father. I can't tell you want to do." Blaine said simply.

 

"You're the only person I have to look after me right now..Don't put this on me.."

 

"You are not a child, Kurt. There will be times where I'm not with you. Part of getting better, is being able to do things on your own."

 

"Well right now isn't one of those times, Blaine! I'm sorry I'm not functioning well enough for you! But you shouldn't have let me walk off in a crowded club!" Kurt spat.

 

"You know what? You always try to blame me for what you do. You let me take the blame when 'Claude' put me in the hospital. I always say 'I'm sorry' even when I have done nothing wrong. Just to make you happy. I'm tired of it, Kurt. Do you really think most people would've come back to this? No. But I did. This is hard for me too. But you constantly snap on me when all I do is try to make things perfect for you!" Blaine got out, actually yelling at his husband for the first time since they got back together.

 

Kurt just stared at Blaine for what seemed like long time before turning his eyes back into the drawer and pulling a shirt out. "I can't believe you right now.." He said under his breath.

 

"Why? For standing up to you? Think about it. How many things have you blamed me for? How many things have I apologized for that had nothing to do with me? You know that I blame myself for all of this. You're really going to throw this in my face?.." Blaine took a deep, shuddering breath, forcing his tears to stay in.

 

Kurt turned to face Blaine, something in his eyes Blaine couldn't place. "Listen. You try taking a cereal bowl full of fucking pills every morning and then you can tell me how to be emotionally stable! I don't know what I do, Blaine. I-I really can't even..I can't see why you're mad right now."

 

"I'm not mad!" Blaine said seriously. "I just can't understand why you always blame me. Are you trying to punish me? I already feel like shit about what happened to you. I know now that I could've changed it. But I didn't. I didn't know then. I blame myself every damn day. I feel like the shittiest husband in the world. And you know this but still blame me."

 

"I don't...You're not a bad husband Blaine..I-I don't blame you..I just.." Kurt sighed, looking up at the ceiling and bringing his hand up to tug at his hair.

 

"You just what?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I don't want you to see how much I fuck up.."

 

Blaine turned around. "Baby, no matter what happens between us, I'm not going anywhere. We live together. We're married. I'm not leaving."

 

"I don't mean to make you feel like a bad husband.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine sighed. "It's not really you. I just.. I feel like that's part of why Claude is still here. Because he knows that if I had picked you up that night none of this would've happened."

 

"Blaine..I always walked home.." Kurt said seriously.

 

"I shouldn't have let you." Blaine whispered.

 

"Blaine..Please stop.."

 

"So, keep in how I feel?"

 

"No..But don't blame yourself.." Kurt said.

 

Blaine sighed. "It's hard.."

 

"I know.." Kurt said, walking over to him.

 

Blaine took his husband's hands. "I'm sorry."

 

"No...I'm sorry..I should've waited for you..I shouldn't have left..It was my fault.."

 

"You're safe now." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, resting his forehead against Blaine's. "I love you.."

 

"I love you too."

 

Kurt leaned in, kissing him softly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you.."

 

"Me too, baby.."

 

"Let's go to bed.."

 

Blaine nodded. He went to change before climbing into bed. Kurt followed, cuddling up to his husband.  
"You're perfect, Kurt. Don't think anything else. I love you.."

 

"So are you..I love you too.."

 

Blaine smiled as he kissed Kurt.

 

Kurt hummed softly. "Lets not fight ever again.."

 

"I'd love that."

 

The older smiled, kissing Blaine again.

 

"Goodnight."

 

"Night.."


	16. Chapter 16

~Three years later~  
Kurt grew considerably better. He was on stronger medication and eventually they were approved to adopt. A four-year-old girl with chestnut curls and green eyes named Jayde. She was seven now and the love of Kurt's life. Blaine was at work. Jayde had just come in from playing outside. She ran up to her room to play. Kurt was fixing his daughter some lunch when he froze, gripping the knife in his hand. A cold fear settled over his body.

 

Jayde skipped downstairs. "Daddy? Is it ready?"

 

"A-Almost sweetie.." Kurt breathed out shakily.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"Of course..J-Just go play Jayde.." Kurt panted as the dark voice hummed behind his eyes.

 

"But I want to be with you, daddy.."

 

Kurt gripped the knife before stabbing it into the counter.

 

Jayde gasped, tears filling her eyes as she ran upstairs and grabbed the phone. She called Blaine as panic settled in her chest. She heard Kurt start yelling under her, his voice traveling towards the stairs. She ran into her room. "Daddy.." She whimpered.

 

Blaine answered on the last ring. "Hello?"

 

"Daddy...Daddy's acting scary.."

 

"What? What is he doing?"

 

"H-He stabbed the counter with a big knife..Now he's yelling..He's coming upstairs.."

 

"Baby, lock your door. Hide in your room. I'm coming home." Blaine said quickly, grabbing his things and running to the car.

 

Jayde jumped up, locking her door a spilt second before a loud bang against it made her scream. She ran to her closet and shut the door.  
"Jayde..Jayde baby..Open the door.." Kurt sobbed, gasping.

 

Jayde shook her head. "N-No.."

 

"I won't hurt you..Just open the fucking door!!"

 

Jayde let out a scream at the noise. "Daddy's on his way home!"

 

"I don't give a fuck about Daddy!!" Kurt growled, pounding his fist on the door.

 

With shaking hands, Jayde called Blaine againe. "Daddy! Please h-hurry! H-He's at m-my door!"

 

Blaine heard the banging and took a deep breath. "Listen..I want you to sing..Sing for me and I'll be there soon..Any song..Sing.."

 

"You make me happy, whether you know it or not  
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start.." She sang shakily, listening to each bang.  
"I am so happy Knowin' you are the one that I want for the rest of my days  
For the rest of my days, yo all of my days.."

 

"That's it baby girl. Keep singing. A little louder." Blaine said as soft as he could.

 

"I'm happy knowin' that you are mine  
The grass is greener on the other side  
The more I-I think the more I wish that we could lay here for hours and just reminisce  
Ooh-ooh.."

 

"I'm here, Jayde. I'm coming inside. Don't come out until I tell you, okay?"

 

"O-okay.."

 

Blaine hung up and ran upstairs. "Kurt?!"

 

Kurt was banging on the door, clawing down the wood and his arms.

 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's arms from behind. "Kurt, stop!"

 

Kurt struggled against Blaine, trying to pull away from him. "Jayde!!"

 

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled. "It's me.. Relax!"

 

Kurt panted heavily, tears streaming down his face.

 

"Shh.. Shh, it's okay. I'm here."

 

"He's back..H-He.."

 

"We'll figure it out.. We will. I promise.."

 

Kurt collapsed, sobbing heavilly.

 

Blaine held his husband close. "I love you.. We'll fix this.."

 

"No..He c-can't be back.."

 

"We'll get rid of him. Okay? We'll get through it." Blaine sad strongly.

 

Kurt leaned against Blaine as Jayde slowly cracked the door open, her green eyes terrified.

 

Blaine looked up. "See that beautiful little girl? You're going to be okay. For her. She loves you and I love you. We can do this."

 

"Daddy?.." Jade whimpered.

 

"He's okay, sweetie. Come here." Blaine said.

 

Jayde shook her head, hiding behind the door.

 

Kurt's breathing slowly went to normal. Tears were still in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jayde. I-I didn't mean to.."

 

Jayde slowly stepped out, wiping her eyes and sniffing.

 

"Please, come here.." Kurt said weakly. Jayde walked over and climbed into Kurt's lap, hugging him tightly. Kurt let his tears out as he held his daughter. "I love you so much, Jayde. I'm so so so sorry."

 

"Why'd you get mad at me?.."

 

Kurt bit his lip. "Daddy is..sick.. Sometimes, I don't know what's going on.. But you didn't do anything, okay?"

 

"O-okay..Do you need to gp to the doctor?.."

 

Kurt looked back at Blaine. He didn't want to go back. "I think so.."

 

"We can get through it on our own.." Blaine said.

 

Kurt gave a weak smile. Something told him he wasn't so sure about that.

 

"We can do this." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you.."

 

"I love you too..And Jayde..And everyone. We're gonna be okay.."

 

Jayde cupped her father's cheek. "You'll be okay."

 

Kurt nodded, standing and hissing at the sting of his scratched arms. "I-I'm gonna go shower.."

 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Blaine asked worriedly.

 

"I'm fine.." Kurt whispered. "I just need to wash up.."

 

Blaine nodded. "Come on, Jayde. I'll make you some lunch."

 

Kurt walked into the bathroom and slammed his hands on the counter looking at himself in the mirror. "What do you want?.." He growled. "You go away for years and come back now..It doesn't make sense.."

 

Kurt cringed as he heard a low chuckle. "What do you want?!"

 

"I just missed you, beautiful.." Claude said snidely.

 

"I didn't miss you, asshole." Kurt spat.

 

"Such language for a father..Jayde..She's beautiful.."

 

"Stay away from her!"

 

Claude laughed loudly. "Oh! So I've found a weak point.."

 

"How are you back? You were gone for so long.."

 

"I was dormant..not gone.."

 

"Why..?" Kurt whispered.

 

"Just waiting for the right time.."

 

"F-For what?.."

 

"You'll see.." Claude laughed. Kurt wrapped his arms around himself as he tried to ignore Claude. Claude continued to laugh loudly, his voice echoing and laying over itself. "You know how to make me go away, Kurt..How to make it all go away.."

 

"No.."

 

"It's the only way..Or do you want me to come out again? Say hello to Jayde?.."

 

"No!" Kurt growled, trying to push Claude away. He scrambled back, turning on the hot water and quickly pulling his clothes off. He got in and looked at a razor. No.. He couldn't.. He had come so far. But Claude's voice was too much. Kurt slammed his head against the tile, grunting loudly.

 

"Did you hear that?" Jayde asked Blaine.

 

Blaine looked up as he heard another thud, he hurried up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Kurt?.."

 

"I-I'm fine.."

 

"Can I come in please?..I need to get something.."

 

Kurt took a deep breath, wrapping a towel around himself and opening the door.

 

Blaine gasped, "Kurt, your forehead.." He whispered as the blood trickled down his nose.

 

"I-I'm fine.."

 

Blaine quickly grabbed some toilet paper against Kurt's forehead. "Kurt.."

 

"What?"

 

"Your forehead is fucking bleeding.." Blaine whispered harshly.

 

Kurt just shrugged.

 

"Don't just shrug..I thought we were past this.."

 

"Well, so did I. But I guess not."

 

Blaine sighed deeply. "Are you hurt?..dizzy?.."

 

"A little dizzy."

 

Blaine nodded lightly. "Just hold this down.."

 

Kurt reached up, doing as he was told.

 

Blaine got some hydrogen peroxide and cleaned Kurt's forehead, placing a small bandaid over the cut. He leaned down, kissing Kurt softly. "Don't let him get to you.."

 

"I'm scared.. H-He's talking about.. Jayde.."

 

Blaine's breath hitched. "He..He's bluffing.."

 

"I don't know, Blaine.."

 

"He said he would kill me..I'm still here.."

 

Kurt thought about how Claude said he had a plan. "I know.."

 

Blaine kneeled in front of Kurt. "We're gonna be okay.."

 

"Promise..?"

 

"I swear.."

 

Kurt sighed. "Thank you.."

 

Blaine nodded. "Now..Put on the cool water..Wash up..And come spend time with your family.." he smiled.

 

"Okay."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt again before standing and walking out.

 

Kurt climbed back into the shower and washed off. He walked to the room to get dressed, his fingers twitching impulsively. Oh god..It was coming back..The twitches..Claude..All of it.. This couldn't happen. Not now.. He had a child..A family..Maybe he should go stay at the hospital. He didn't want to put Jayde in danger. But how could he leave his beautiful baby girl? His bottom lip quivered as he leaned against the wall. Why was this so hard?.. He had tried so hard to be better. What was Claude planning? Kurt quickly pulled himself together and walked downstairs.

 

"Are you feeling better, daddy?"

 

Kurt nodded, smiling. "Much.."

 

"Come sit with me." Jayde grinned.

 

Kurt nodded again, sitting next to his daughter. "So..What did you play today?.."

 

"I played on the swings and played princess." She smiled.

 

"How are things in the kingdom?.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Lonely." Jayde sighed. "I want my friends to come over."

 

"Well..Maybe we can fix that. How about having a slimber party soon?.."

 

"Yeah! We can have pizza and play and maybe make s'mores again?! Can we daddy?" Jayde asked excitedly.

 

"Of course.."

 

She grinned, thanking Kurt and Blaine before continuing to eat her macaroni and hotdog.

 

Kurt smiled at Blaine nervously; reaching over to hold his hand.

 

Blaine used his thumb to stroke the back of his husbands chair. "Want to go see Carole tonight?"

 

Kurt nodded, "Yeah..Jade, you want to go see grandma?"

 

"Yeah!" Jayde smiled.

 

"Good.." Kurt smiled before his hand twitched in Blaine's. He sighed shakily, closing his eyes.

 

Blaine gasped quietly. No.. This couldn't happen..

 

Kurt pulled his hand away, slowly reaching up to pull his hair lightly.

 

"Baby.. It's okay.." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt shook his head, looking down.

 

"Daddy..?"

 

"Yes, baby?.."

 

"I just want you to know I love you very much."

 

"I-I love you too, baby girl.."

 

Jayde stood up and hugged her father tightly.

 

Kurt sniffed, pulling her closer. "Thank you.."

 

"Welcome." She smiled.

 

Kurt pet her hair before kissing her forehead softly.

 

"Guess what."

 

"What?.."

 

Jayde looked up at Kurt with her big, innocent eyes. "I'm really happy I'm with you and daddy.."

 

"I'm so happy you are.."

 

Jayde leaned in and kissed his cheek.

 

"I love you baby.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I love you, daddy."

 

Kurt sighed softly, looking over at his husband.

 

"I'll go call Carole.." Blaine said, getting up and leaving the room.

 

Kurt nodded, rocking Jayde in his arms.

 

Blaine stepped out into the back yard and dialed Carole's number. He paced through the grass until she answered.  
"Hello?.."

 

"Hey Carole.."

 

"Hey sweetie.." She smiled.

 

"We were thinking about stopping by later. Is that alright..?"

 

"Of course, of course.." Carole grinned.

 

"I.. I really need to talk to you.."

 

"What's wrong?.."

 

"It's Kurt.." Blaine said quietly. "Claude's back.."

 

Carole gasped softly. "No.."

 

"I-I don't know what to do.. He came out today. I.. I wasn't home. Jayde.. She had to lock herself in her room.."

 

"Is..Why is he coming back?.."

 

"I don't know.."

 

Carole was quiet for a while. "It's gonna be okay.."

 

Blaine nodded. "We'll be over around five.."

 

"Okay, sweetie.."

 

Blaine got off the phone and went back inside. Jayde had gone upstairs and Kurt was curled up on the couch. Blaine sat down and rubbed Kurt's back. "Are you okay?"

 

"I don't know.."

 

"I'm so sorry.."

 

"It's not your fault.."

 

"I know..I just wish I could help.."

 

"Me too..I just..I don't understand."

 

"I know, baby." Blaine sighed. Kurt nuzzled under Blaine's jaw and sighed. "It will work out. I promise."

 

"I hope so.."

 

"Me too."

 

Kurt sighed deeply, closing his eyes.

 

"Do you want to see someone?" Blaine asked.

 

"Maybe..Maybe just a therapist..For now.."

 

"Anything you want."

 

"I just don't want Jayde to get hurt.."

 

"Neither do I.." Blaine sighed. "Can I ask you something..?"

 

"Of course.."

 

"When he comes out.. Is there any way you can control who gets hurt?" Blaine asked quietly.

 

"I..I have no idea what he does until I come back.."

 

"Okay." Blaine sighed.

 

"I'm s-sorry.."

 

"It's not your fault."

 

"Yes it is..I should be able to control it.." Kurt whispered.

 

"That's not why I was asking." Blaine said.

 

"Why were you?.."

 

"Because, if you could control it.. I was going to tell you to wait for me. Let it out to me.."

 

"What?..W-What do you mean?.."

 

"It doesn't matter. I just worry for Jayde."

 

"Blaine..What did you mean?"

 

"Just.. If anything happens, I prefer it to happen to Mel  
Me."

 

"Blaine..I could never h-hurt you.."

 

"I know, Kurt. But it's better me than Jayde."

 

"It's better if it's no one!" Kurt snapped.

 

"I'm not trying to fight, Kurt. But you know what he's capable of." Blaine said before getting up and leaving the room. Kurt sighed, his eyes filling with tears as he curled up.

 

Blaine went up to their room. Why was this happening again? He wished he could take this away..Why was this happening to them? Kurt had worked so hard to get better. Blaine clenched his fists. Was he not taking his medicine again? Something had to be causing this. He decided to let Kurt have some time to think before asking. He sighed as Jayde walked in. "Daddy?.."

 

"Yes, baby?"

 

"W-What's really wrong with Daddy?.."

 

"He's..sick.."

 

"But..He doesn't have a fever or a tummy ache.."

 

"No.. It's more in his mind." Blaine said, sitting up.

 

Jayde climbed onto the bed. "Like..His brain is sick?.."

 

"In a way, yes."

 

"What's wrong?.."

 

"Something happened to daddy a long time ago. And it hurt him very bad. So.. Sometimes, there's this angry..side that comes out. It's not daddy. It's the pain and hurt that he went through."

 

"But..It is daddy..He just sounded different.." Jayde said quietly.

 

Blaine sighed. "It is daddy. But he doesn't know what's happening when that angry side comes out. So if you see it, promise me that you will hide where no one can get you and call me, okay?"

 

"O-Okay.." Jadye said quietly.

 

"Come here." Blaine said, pulling her close. "Daddy Kurt loves you very much. We're going to get him some help. I promise."

 

"How are people gonna help?.."

 

"They can change his medicines or maybe just talking to someone will help. I don't know."

 

Jayde nodded. "How do I know when Daddy's bad side comes out?.."

 

"When he gets really angry, his voice gets a little..scary.."

 

"What if I can't hide?.."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"What if I can't get away from Daddy's bad side?.."

 

"Just run. Run as fast as you can and find someone to call me." Blaine said seriously.

 

Jayde's eyes went wide. "D-Daddy wouldn't hurt me.."

 

"No. But I don't want you to see him like that."

 

"O-okay.." Jayde whispered before tearing up.

 

"What's wrong, baby girl?" Blaine asked.

 

"I'm scared.."

 

"Why?"

 

"I don't want daddy to get scary again.."

 

"That's why he's going to get help." Blaine said softly. The little girl nodded, squeezing Blaine's fingers. "I love you, Jayde."

 

"I love you too.."

 

"Come on. Let's get you out of your play clothes. We'll go see grandma then go shopping for your sleepover."

 

She perked up at the mention of the sleepover and nodded, climbing off of the bed. Blaine helped her pick an outfit before going to get Kurt. He was in the kitchen, cleaning when his family came down.

 

"Hey. You almost ready?" Blaine asked.

 

"Yeah..I'm just cleaning. I have to..Clean.." Kurt sniffed.

 

"Okay.."

 

"Daddy..The kitchen is clean.." Jayde said as Kurt scrubbed at the counter.

 

"Not enough."

 

"Kurt.." Blaine sighed. "It's clean.."

 

Kurt's hand twitched again. "O-Okay.."

 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand. "It's okay.."

 

Kurt wrapped himself around Blaine as a small whimper escaped him. "I-I'm sorry.."

 

"Shh..Its okay.."

 

Kurt clutched to his husband as he tried to calm down.

 

"Deep breath.." Blaine whispered, rubbing his back. Kurt nodded as he inhaled deeply. "Let it out..You're okay.."

 

Kurt exhaled and took another breath. "I'm okay."

 

"Okay..Lets go to Carole's..Alright?.."

 

Kurt turned to his daughter and smiled. "You know that's daddy's favorite dress."

 

Jayde smiled, looking down at the powder blue dress. "That's why I wear it.."

 

"It's beautiful. Just like you." Kurt grinned.

 

"Thank you Daddy..Carry me?"

 

Kurt bent down and picked her up. "You'll always be my princess."

 

Jayde giggled happily, wrapping her arms around Kurt. Kurt kissed her cheek before putting her in the car. They drove to Carole's Jayde singing happily the whole time. The sound soothed Kurt. It helped him ignore Claude.

 

"When we get to Grandma's will Uncle Finn and Aunt Rachel be there?"

 

"If not, we can call them." Blaine smiled.

 

"Okay!" Jayde grinned.

 

They got to Carole's and knocked before walking in. They found her in the living room with Finn and a very pregnant Rachel. Jayde squealed, running towards her family. Rachel giggled as she hugged her niece. "Hey Jayde!"

 

"Hey!" Jayde smiled before hugging the rest of them.

 

She sat in Carole's lap as Blaine and Kurt sat down. "How's the baby?"

 

"Good..Kicking a lot.." Rachel giggled.

 

"How much longer do you have?" Kurt asked.

 

"A few more weeks." Finn smiled, placing his hand on her stomach.

 

"What's the baby's name?" Jayde asked.

 

"Well...If it's a girl..We're naming her Barbara." Rachel smiled wide.

 

"Oh dear god.." Kurt sighed.

 

"Are you surprised?" Carole chuckled.

 

"Can I call her Barbie?" Jayde asked.

 

"Of course." Rachel giggled.

 

Jayde smiled. "I hope it's a girl."

 

"Me too." Rachel pretended to whisper.

 

Jayde ran over to sit by Rachel and pressed her little hands to the big belly. Rachel smiled, running her hands over it before the baby gave a kick and Jayde giggled happily.

 

"That's so weird!"

 

Finn smiled wide as he watched his family.

 

They had dinner together and went to the back yard to let Jayde play. Kurt sat in a chair next to Carole, watching his daughter as he scratched absently at his wrist.

 

"How are you doing, sweetie?"

 

"I-I'm good.." Kurt nodded. "Fine.."

 

"Are you sure?" she asked.

 

Kurt nodded quickly, not looking up.

 

"I'm here if you need me." Carole said softly.

 

"I'm fine.." He whispered, his hand twitching again. He slapped his other hand over it to keep it still and let out a broken noise.

 

Carole moved closer and hugged him tightly. "Don't be afraid."

 

Kurt moved to pull away but stopped, letting himself be held.

 

"It's okay, Kurt." Carole soothed.

 

The younger shook his head. "I-I'm sorry.."

 

"Let it out, sweetie."

 

"I-I can't..I I don't want..Jayde."

 

"Why don't you stay the night? We'll have a night and you can just talk."

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine, silently asking permission.

 

"You can, baby."

 

Kurt nodded, looking back at Carole.

 

She kissed his forehead and sat back against the bench swing.

 

Kurt leaned against Blaine sighing shakily. "Can you find me a doctor tomorrow?.."

 

"I can do that." Blaine said softy.

 

Kurt nodded. "I have to get better again.."

 

"You will. I know it."

 

Kurt sighed deeply, nuzzling under his jaw.

 

"I love you." Blaine whispered.

 

"I love you too.."

 

"Stay here as long as you need to. I'll find someone to talk to."

 

"Thank you.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I'll do anything for you."

 

"I'll be home soon.."

 

"Okay."

 

Kurt sighed, wiping his eyes.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Yeah..I'm just..I don't know.."

 

Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt. "It's okay."

 

"Thank you.."

 

His husband nodded, pulling him closer.

 

"You gonna go get Jayde's stuff for her slumber party?.."

 

"Yeah. We should get going."

 

Kurt cupped Blaine's cheek and kissed him softly. "I love you so much.."

 

"I love you too. Call if you need anything." Blaine said seriously.

 

"I will.." Kurt nodded.

 

Blaine kissed Kurt again before standing. "Jayde. It's time to go."

 

Jayde ran up, placing her hands on Kurt's knees. "Will you carry me daddy?"

 

"I'm staying here, baby girl." Kurt said, leaning forward.

 

"What?..Why?.."

 

"To spend time with my mom. I'll be home soon. I promise."

 

"Okay..I'll miss you.."

 

"I'll miss you too." Kurt said before kissing her.

 

Jayde sighed softly before kissing Carole, Finn, and Rachel. She grabbed Blaines hand. "Bye.."

 

"Bye sweetie." Carole called.

 

Jayde squeezed his hand as they left. Kurt watched sadly as his daughter and husband walked away.

 

"Its gonna be okay.." Rachel whispered.

 

"I hope so.."

 

"It will be Kurt. We're here.." Finn said softly.

 

"Thank you." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Come on..let's get inside and run you a relaxing bath." Carole smiled, standing up.

 

Kurt nodded, "Thank you."

 

She grabbed Kurt's hand and walked him upstairs.

 

"Why is he back..?"

 

"I don't know.."

 

"I..I'm scared to go home.."

 

"Why sweetie?.." Carole asked softly.

 

"What if he hurts someone?"

 

"He won't..You're stronger this time around.." Carole assured as she started the water.

 

"Thanks, Carole.." Kurt said, trying to believe her.

 

She ran his bath before kissing his forehead and walking out. Kurt slowly stripped, examining all of his scars in the mirror. They were faded but still visible. He ran his fingers over the slightly raised skin. He wouldn't let Claude give him any new scars. Not this time. He slipped into the tub, and sighed deeply, closing his eyes. He could do this. For Jayde. He sank down a bit and looked over the edge of the water. He had to figure out what Claude was planning. It wasn't good. That much, he knew. But who was his target? He tried to concentrate. Maybe if he could channel Claude he would know. Kurt took deep breathes as he tried to focus. He heard Claude's voice and shuddered lightly. "T-Tell me what you're doing.."

 

Claude just chuckled. "You won't find out until its time."

 

"Why?.."

 

"Why would I tell you?"

 

Kurt swallowed, rubbing nervously down his arms. "I-I don't.."

 

Claude chuckled. "Maybe I should tell you."

 

Kurt swallowed hard, trying not to show his fear. Claude took control of Kurt's mind. He showed him flashes of Blaine's curls.. His eyes.. His lips.. then a flash of red all over his own hands. Kurt gasped harshly, as a terrified sob escaped him. "No!"

 

Claude's menacing laugh slowly faded away.

 

Kurt's breathing picked up. Was Claude going to kill Blaine? He couldn't let that happen. Kurt let out a scream as he looked down at the water and red began to flow through it. Even his hallucinations were coming back. He quickly jumped out of the water and pressed his back to the wall. This couldn't happen. Kurt had to stop him. He quickly wrapped himself in a towel and ran out of the bathroom.

 

Carole was at the top of the stairs when he came out. "Kurt? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

 

Kurt tried to slow his breathing as he nodded quickly.

 

"What happened?"

 

"Claude..J-Just talking...Y-You know.."

 

"Oh, sweetie.." Carole sighed. "Get dressed and come downstairs. I'll make some warm milk, your favorite."

 

"Th-Thank you.." Kurt nodded before going to his room and pulling on his clothes.

 

Carol was in the kitchen when Kurt came down. "Here you go, Kurt."

 

Kurt was still shaking as he took the mug and sat down.

 

"What was he saying?"

 

"Nothing important..."

 

Carole kissed the top of Kurt's head. "He's not going to hurt you. I won't let it happen, okay?"

 

"I don't care if he hurts me.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"What?"

 

"I don't want him to hurt anyone else.."

 

"Well, we don't want you to get hurt either."

 

Kurt just looked down. He'd much prefer it be him. If Claude was telling the truth..Kurt might have to make sure it was him..

 

"Let's try not to think about him tonight."

 

"Okay.."

 

"Come relax in the living room."

 

Kurt nodded, walking into the living room with Carole.

 

She turned the tv on to a random movie and sighed sighed softly.

 

Kurt leaned against her, grabbing her hand.

 

"I'm glad you're staying here. I miss you being here."

 

"I miss it too.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Jayde's birthday is coming up. What does she want?"

 

"A cell phone.." Kurt said softly.

 

Carole's eyes went wide. "She's too young."

 

"I know.." Kurt chuckled.

 

Carole laughed. "What're you getting her?"

 

"I'm not sure.." Kurt sighed. "Blaine is usually in charge of that.."

 

Carole nodded. "Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow."

 

"O-Okay.." Kurt smiled.

 

"It'll be fun."

 

Kurt nodded. "It will.."

 

"You want some more milk?"

 

"No thank you..This is fine.." Kurt smiled, nodding.

 

"I'm really proud of you, Kurt." Carole said quietly.

 

"Why?.."

 

"You're out of the hospital. You're married. You have a daughter."

 

"I'm going back to before.." Kurt whispered.

 

"And you'll beat it again."

 

"I hope.."

 

"You will."

 

Kurt hugged her close and sighed shakily.

 

"You can do this, Kurt. And we're all here to help." Carole said softly.

 

Kurt smiled. "Thank you..I-I think I should get to bed.."

 

"Okay sweetie."

 

Kurt kissed her cheek before walking up to his old room and curling up under the bankets. He needed his husband.. He hated being alone. Especially sleeping alone. He thought too much..And all of the tiny noises sounded so loud. He brought his hands up over his ears and pulled himself into a ball, whimpering. He didn't want to hallucinate tonight.. He looked over to the nightstand and saw a phone. He reached for it and dialed his husband's number. He sighed in relief as Blaine answered.

 

"Hello?"

 

"I miss you.."

 

"I miss you too beautiful..Are you okay?.."

 

"I-I don't like being alone. Will you...sing me to sleep?"

 

Blaine gave a sad smile. "Of course.."

 

"Thank you.."

 

"Leave a lighthouse in the wild,Cause I'm coming in  
A little blind  
Dreamer of a lighthouse in the woods  
Shining a little light to bring us back home  
Or to help us get back into the world.." Blaine sang softly. Kurt closed his eyes and sighed softly.  
"Cause I know  
I've seen you before  
Won't you shine  
A little light  
On us now..."

 

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out, already on the verge of sleep.

 

"Dreaming of a light house in the woods  
To help us get back into the world  
Won't you shine a little light  
In your own backyard  
Dreaming of a lighthouse in the woods.."  
Blaine finished as he heard Kurt's breathing even out. He smiled as he heard his husband snore lightly.

 

"I love you Kurt.." He whispered before hanging up.

 

Kurt found himself in his house. There was blood on the carpet. A trail of it leading from his feet to the bedroom. His heart raced. What had he done? He slowly followed the trail, panting harshly as he saw Blaine, on the floor, covered in blood and giving sharp shallow breaths.  
"Blaine!" Kurt shrieked. He ran over and dropped to the floor, wrapping his arms around Blaine's bloody body. "No! What did you do?! No.."

 

Blaine's eyes were fading as he looked at Kurt and rasped out, "Y-You..did..this.."

 

"N-No.." Kurt cried. "I-I-I love you! B-Blaine.."

 

Blaine looked away as his last breath left him and the life faded from his eyes.

 

"Blaine! N-No.. Come back. Comebackcomebackcomeback..nonononono.."

 

Kurt screamed as he shot up in bed, his body drenched in cold sweat. It was a dream.. Just a dream.. Kurt tried to convince himself. He wiped his hands on the sheets. Blaine was fine..He was alive.. He would never hurt his husband. Never.. Kurt laid back, trying to fall back asleep. But the haunting images came back. They wouldn't leave his mind. How long would this go on? Kurt curled in on himself. It was like that every night. Kurt would wake up, gasping for air or screaming. He couldn't take this.. He couldn't concentrate when he went shopping with Carole. He tried to spend time with her. But it was like he wasn't even there. She would suggest things and he would just nod. Somtimes he wouldn't even respond.

 

When they got home, Carole sighed. "Kurt, we need to talk."

 

"About?.." He asked quietly.

 

"What's going on with you? You love shopping. You love spending time out. What's wrong?"

 

"I-I'm not sure..I'm just..I don't feel myself.." He said softly, taking his coat off.

 

"Did something happen last night? You seemed at least okay before bed."

 

"No..Nothing happened..No.." Kurt said, his hand twitching violently. He growled grabbing it with his other and squeezing tight.

Carole placed her hand over his. "Please.. Talk to me.."

 

"I..I kept having..Nightmares..All night..It hasn't happened since I was in the hospital.."

 

"I'm sorry, sweetie. What're they about?"

 

Kurt swallowed hard. "Just..The hospital..Having to go back.." He lied.

 

"I don't think you'll need to."

 

"I'm not so sure.."

 

"Why?"

 

"He's just. .He's so strong.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"You're strong too. You got him to stop for a long time. You'll do it again." Carole said.

 

"No..I didn't get him to stop..He stopped on his own.." Kurt sighed, sitting at the table.

 

"It's going to be okay, Kurt. You're so strong. You just don't see it."

 

"Then why can't I stop him?.."

 

"I believe you will." Carole said softly. "You just have to find that extra strength inside of you."

 

"How?..I-I can't get him out of my mind..He's making my hallucinations come back..I-I don't want to f-forget my daughter..I don't.."

 

Carole got up and wrapped her arms around her son. "You won't. Kurt.. You can do this. And you have me, Blaine, Jayde, Rachel, Finn, and all if your friends. You can do this."

 

Kurt hugged Carole tightly as he finally broke down.

 

"Let it out sweetie."

 

"I-I'm so scared.."

 

"You'll get through this. I promise."

 

"I can't..I-I can't.."

 

"Yes, you can."

 

Kurt just continued crying. He couldn't get through this he was going to hurt Blaine..He couldn't..

 

Carole held Kurt until his tears slowly stopped.

 

"I-I'm sorry.."

 

"Don't be." The older woman said.

 

"Can..Can I sleep with you tonight?.."

 

"Yes, sweetie."

 

"Thank you.." Kurt said. Later that day, Kurt sat alone in his room when there was a light knock.

 

"Come in." He said quietly.

 

Rachel walked inside, smiling lightly. "Hey.."

 

"Hey.."

 

"How are you?.." She asked, walking over to sit on the bed.

 

"I'm okay.." Kurt lied.

 

"No..You're not.." She said softly. Kurt shrugged, looking down at the floor. "I know you don't remember much of me..Before everything..But I know you.." Rachel said.

 

"I'm sorry.. I try.. But I can't.."

 

"I know..But..I know when you're not okay..What's wrong? " She asked, grabbing his hand.

 

"It's happening again.." Kurt whispered. "He's back.."

 

Rachel sighed softly. "I know..But..We're gonna get through this.."

 

"I'm the one going through it."

 

"We're here to help you."

 

"Nothing can help me."

 

"That's not true..You did it before.."

 

Kurt shook his head. "That's what he wanted me to think."

 

"What do you mean?.."

 

"He was dormant."

 

"Dormant?.." Rachel asked.

 

"He was there but didn't show himself. He wanted me to t-think he was gone."

 

Rachel hugged Kurt tightly, her eyebrows kneading together.

 

"I can't go back.."

 

"You won't.."

 

"He's stronger now.."

 

"So are you, Kurt." Rachel said, pulling away and looking into his eyes.

 

Kurt just shook his head.

 

"Listen..How do you think Jayde is dealing with this?.." Rachel asked. "You are her dad. She needs you to be strong."

 

"I-I'm not strong."

 

"Yes you are, Kurt..Think about where you were before Blaine came back..Where you are now.."

 

Kurt looked up at his friend. She was right. He had a daughter that needed him.

 

"You are the strongest person I know Kurt.." Rachel said, bringing his hand up to kiss it before placing it on her tummy. "And I know Barbie can't wait to meet her uncle while he's happy and healthy.."

 

Kurt gave a weak smile. "You think I can do this?"

 

Rachel nodded. "I know you can."

 

"Thank you." Kurt said. He gasped as the baby kicked. "Oh my god.."

 

Rachel grinned, rubbing over Kurt's hand.

 

"That's so amazing.."

 

"I can't wait until you meet her.." Rachel whispered.

 

"Me too.."

 

She smiled, picking his hand up and kissing it softly.

 

"I should probably go home soon. I miss Blaine. And Jayde. But all of her friends will be there tonight."

 

"If you feel like it's too much..Just call me okay?.."

 

Kurt nodded. "Okay."

 

Rachel stood, grunting lightly.

 

Kurt got up with her and chuckled. "Is Finn getting tired of you yet?"

 

Rachel giggled. "Not at all. Our sex life is actually amazing now.." She blushed.

 

"Oh god." Kurt laughed.

 

"Thanks to you." She smiled. "How about you and Blaine?"

 

"We haven't done..that.. In a while.."

 

"How long is a while?.." Rachel asked.

 

Kurt thought for a moment. "A couple months?"

 

Rachel's eyebrows knit together. "Maybe that's what you need.."

 

"We don't have alone time. A-And I-I don't know.. With Claude here.."

 

"Listen..When you two are alone..Just give it a try, if you're comfortable."

 

"I don't know if he'll want to.."

 

"Kurt..He's your husband..Do you think he's not attracted to you anymore?.."

 

"No.. Not with Claude in my head.." Kurt said quietly as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

 

Rachel chewed on her bottom lip. "Come on..Let me drive you home."

 

"Okay.."

 

They said goodbye to Carole before Rachel drove Kurt back to his house.

 

"Thanks for the ride.. Want to come in?" Kurt asked.

 

Rachel nodded as Kurt helped her out and she walked inside. "Hey everyone. Daddy's home!" Rachel grinned.

 

"Daddy!" Jayde yelled happily.

 

Kurt grinned as his daughter ran into his arms. "Hey, baby..I missed you."

 

"I missed you too!"

 

Rachel smiled as Blaine walked out and kissed Kurt's cheek quickly. "Hey." He said softly.

 

"Hey.." Kurt said back.

 

"How was your time with Carole?.." He smiled.

 

"Good.."

 

"Blaine. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Rachel asked.

 

"Sure." Blaine said.

 

Rachel walked into the kitchen and sat down with Blaine.  
"So..When was the last time you and Kurt had sex?.."

 

"What? Why?" Blaine asked quickly.

 

"I think..That maybe it might be part of Kurt's stress..He thinks you're not attracted to him anymore Blaine.." Rachel sighed.

 

"Are you kidding? I love Kurt. He's the most beautiful guy I've ever met. Of course, I'm attracted to him."

 

"Why haven't you two been..intimate is such a long time?.."

 

"We have Jayde. I get tired from work. He gets tired from playing with her and cooking and cleaning. I don't know. He hasn't tried either. I don't know."

 

"Well..He just thinks you don't want to..Because of Claude.." Rachel said softly.

 

"Well, not if its when Claude is out. But no. Not because of him." Blaine explained.

 

"Maybe you should just..try to show Kurt you still want him." Rachel said softly.

 

Blaine nodded. "Okay."

 

Kurt poked his head in. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but a couple of the girls just arrived.."

 

"I'm coming." Blaine smiled. Kurt gave a weak smile and nodded.

 

"Jayde," Blaine called. "Why don't you and your friends go play outside?"

 

Jayde nodded. "Lets go play princess!" She called to her friends. They all giggled, running outside after her. Blaine talked to their parents and told them the plans for the night before they headed out.

 

Rachel smiled at the couple. "Well..I should get back to Finn before he tries to cook."

 

"We'll see you later." Blaine chuckled.

 

Rachel gave them each a kiss before walking out.

 

"I-I should start on dinner.." Kurt said softly.

 

"Do you need help?"

 

"I'm okay.." Kurt nodded, walking to the kitchen.

 

Blaine sighed quietly. How did he let his husband feel this way? He had to fix this. He'd wait for the girls to go to bed before talking to him.

 

Kurt watched the girls playing outside from the window. Jayde looked so happy..If he could get through this she could stay this way. He could do it.. For her.


	17. Chapter 17

That night Kurt climbed into bed next to his husband after they finally got the girls to sleep. Blaine rolled over and wrapped his arm around Kurt. Kurt stiffened slightly,  
but put his hand over Blaine's.

 

"I love you. You know that, right?" Blaine whispered before kissing his husband's neck.

 

Kurt nodded. "Of course.."

 

Blaine moved his hand down to kurt's leg.

 

Kurt inhaled shakily, tightening his hand in the sheets. Blaine slowly ran his fingertips between his husband's thighs. Kurt gasped clamping his legs shut. "Blaine..You..You don't have to..I know you don't want to.."

 

"I do want to." Blaine said softly.

 

"No..No you don't..You're only doing this because R-Rachel told you to.." Kurt got out shakily. "I-I know I'm disgusting..I don't blame you for not wanting me anymore..I wouldn't either..N-Not with him here.."

 

Blaine pulled Kurt close and turned his head so they were facing each other. "No. You are not disgusting. You're beautiful. You're sexy. I want you."

 

Kurt gasped, a heat settling in his belly at Blaine's words and actions.

 

"I didn't think you wanted to do anything. Trust me, I want to."

 

"S-So do I.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine rolled on top of Kurt, slowly guiding his hips down. "I think about it all the time."

 

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine, melting beneath him. "W-What do you think a-about?.."

 

"How many ways I can fuck you." Blaine whispered hotly.

 

Kurt let out a whimpering breath. "Tell me?.."

 

"Like this.." Blaine breathed out, rolling his hips down. "On your stomach. Hands and knees. Holding you. Against a wall. In the shower. On my lunch break on the kitchen counter.. Bend you over the couch.. Fuck.."

 

Kurt's breathing sped up and goosebumps raised all over his porcelain skin. "Ohmygod.." He moaned.

 

"What do you want tonight?"

 

"They all sound so amazing.." Kurt panted, running his hands down Blaine's strong arms.

 

Blaine grinned. "We have all the time in the world. I want you like this tonight. I want to watch you."

 

Kurt nodded as he swallowed, his eyes wide as arrousal twisted inside of him. "Will you..Take control?.."

 

Blaine let out a loud growl. "You want that? Letting go and me taking you?"

 

"Y-Yes.." Kurt whispered, his body shivering at the growl.

 

"You have to tell me if you need me to stop. Okay?" Blaine said lovingly.

 

Kurt nodded. "I promise.."

 

Blaine leaned down, kissing Kurt passionately and dirty. Kurt moaned loudly, wrapping his legs around Blaine. Blaine worked his hips down roughly, another growl escaping him. Kurt let out a squeak as the powerful thrust scooted him a few inches up the bed. "Blaine.." he gasped in surprise.

 

"You like that?" Blaine breathed out.

 

"Y-Yes.." Kurt whispered.

 

In all of the time they'd been together, Kurt never really let Blaine be this rough, at least in the time he remembered. Usually if Blaine was too forceful it would send Kurt into a panic. But this time, oh, this time was different.

 

"I love you." Blaine whispered before doing it again.

 

"I-I love you too.." Kurt got out, moaning helplessly. The younger reached down and gripped Kurt's ass.

 

Kurt whined, pushing his hips back. "Blaine..I-I can feel this t-time is different...You can be rough..As rough as you want.."

 

Blaine groaned, getting on his knees and ripping their clothes off. Kurt looked up as he saw a shift in his husband. It was as if he'd been waiting for this. Blaine put Kurt's legs on his shoulder and eased into his husband. "Oh my god."

 

Kurt's back arched beautifully off of the bed. "Sh-Shit!"

 

"Shh.. Fuck, I want to hear you. But the girls.."

 

"I-I'm sorry...Its been so long.."

 

"I know.. Shit, you're fucking tight." Blaine growled as he reached the hilt. Kurt whined, pink high in his cheeks as his swollen lips parted. Blaine spread Kurt wider as he started to thrust. Kurt moaned and whimpered, his voice high and helpless. In a way it turned Blaine on even more at how vulnerable his husband looked and sounded. Blaine breathed against Kurt's neck before biting down harshly. Kurt let out a loud cry before biting down on his lip and clawing down Blaine's back.

 

"Fuck yes!" Blaine groaned, fucking into Kurt harder. Kurt gasped harshly as he was scooted up the bed again, his breath hitching at the force of Blaine's powerful thrusts.

 

"Talk to me, Kurt.. Please.." Blaine moaned.

 

"Y-You..Ah! Feel so good..So big..So..Ah!..S-Strong.."

 

Blaine smacked Kurt's ass. "Its been too fucking long.. Won't last.."

 

Kurt cried out at the strike, his whole body shaking. "I-I'm so close!"

 

"Scratch me." Blaine growled. Kurt did as he was told, rolling his hips with Blaine's movements. Blaine gave a sharp cry as he sped up. Kurt's body tensed before he came, clutching to Blaine as his orgasm wracked his thin frame. Watching Kurt pushed Blaine over the edge. He shuddered, giving a long, low moan as he spilled himself inside of his husband. Kurt rolled his body with Blaine as he felt the wet heat fill him. "Ohhh..Blaine..."

 

Blaine planted sloppy kisses across Kurt's collar bone. "I love you.. I love you so much.."

 

"I love you too.." Kurt whispered.

 

Blaine pulled out and laid facing Kurt. "You're perfect."

 

Kurt blushed as he smilied. He reached behind him, gasping as he rubbed a finger over his stretched hole and felt how open he was. He loved that Blaine did this to him..He gave a little moan as he felt some of his husband's come start to leak out.

 

Blaine gave a low, guttural noise. "Get on your knees."

 

Kurt bit his lip and did as he was told. Blaine got behind him and licked around Kurt's hole. Kurt shuddered, his back arching as he tilted his ass up more for Blaine. "Oh my god.."

 

"Taste so fucking good."

 

Kurt moaned softly. "Y-You like how your come tastes i-in me?.."

 

"Fuck yes." Blaine breathed out before delving his tongue back in. Kurt bit down on the pillow, whining quietly. Blaine licked eagerly until he had every bit that seeped out. Kurt was a panting mess when Blaine finished. His face flushed and his body humming. Blaine pulled Kurt in for a deep, messy kiss. Kurt gasped at the taste before returning the kiss. Blaine laid them down and hitched a leg over Kurt's. Kurt ran his hand up Blaine's thigh before pulling away and panting. "You're so damn sexy.."

 

Kurt smiled. "So are you.."

 

Blaine kissed Kurt softly. "I've been wanting to do that for so long.."

 

"I..I didn't think you did.."

 

"Oh god, I do."

 

Kurt blushed, looking down. "I-I love you.."

 

"I'm so in love with you Kurt." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt wrapped himself around Blaine, kissing him softly. "You..You really do want me..right?.."

 

"Until the end of time." Blaine said sweetly.

 

Kurt smiled he felt so relaxed..More than he had been in a while. Blaine held Kurt close as they both drifted to sleep.

 

In the middle of the night, Kurt shot straight up, screaming Blaine's name. Blaine jumped up, almost falling off of the bed. "Kurt? What's wrong?"

 

Kurt pulled at his hair violently as he shook, panting harshly. Blaine pulled his husband close. "Baby, calm down. I'm here."

 

"Blaine..Blaine.." Kurt whispered, clutching to him and touching his face and hair. He was alive..He was still alive.

 

"Shh, it was just a dream." Blaine soothed.

 

Kurt was shaking and sweating as he tried to calm down, wiping his hands on the bed. "B-Blood.."

 

"What? Baby, there's no blood.. You're okay."

 

"I-it's on me..My hands..Its on the sheets..Oh god, Blaine!"

 

"Kurt, it's not there. It's okay.. It's okay.."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, continuing to wipe his hands. Blaine took his husband's hands.

 

"Kurt.."

 

"Y-yeah?.."

 

"It was a dream." Blaine said softly.

 

"Y-You're okay.."

 

"What? Of course, I am."

 

Kurt nodded. "Of course.."

 

"Want me to get you some water?" Blaine asked as Kurt panted lightly.

 

"P-Please.."

 

Blaine kissed his husband's cheek before going to get a glass. Kurt gripped the sheets as he stared at the blood he knew wasn't there. Should he tell Blaine..? No..He could let him have that burden..But..He didn't want to hurt his husband. Blaine came back and handed the full glass to Kurt. Kurt took a small sip. "Thank you.."

 

"You're welcome, baby." Blaine said as he door opened.  
"Daddy..?"

 

"Jayde..What are you doing up?.." Kurt asked.

 

"I heard daddy scream.." Jayde said as she rubbed her eyes.

 

"Oh....I'm okay babygirl.." Kurt said, looking at their daughter.

 

She walked over and climbed onto the bed, giving Kurt then Blaine a hug. "I had lots of fun with my friends."

 

"We're glad." Blaine smiled. "Maybe we can do it again sometime.."

 

"Yeah." Jayde smiled. "Can I have a goodnight kiss, daddy?"

 

Both of her fathers smiled before they each leaned down and gave her a kiss.  
"Goodnight Jayde.."

 

"Night daddies." She grinned as she headed to bed.

 

Kurt sighed, falling back onto his pillow, the sheets and blankets a pristine white once more. Blaine laid down too. "Are you alright?"

 

"My...My hallucinations are coming back.."

 

Blaine chewed in his lower lip. "Do you still take that medicine? Or do you need it?"

 

"I take it every day.." Kurt whispered.

 

"I found someone you can talk to. We can go whenever you want. See if they can help."

 

"Tomorrow?.."

 

"As soon as the girls leave."

 

Kurt nodded. "Okay.." He sighed before pulling Blaine close. He kissed him softly before they both drifted off to sleep.

 

The next morning, Blaine made breakfast for everyone and let the kids go play. Kurt came down the stairs and smiled at his husband. He had another restless night, but at least he was next to Blaine.

 

"You hungry, baby?"

 

"Not really.." Kurt said as he spread out his pills on the counter, making sure they were all there before taking them one by one.

 

"Kurt, I'm really proud of you." Blaine said softy.

 

"Really?" Kurt asked softly, turning over the anti-psychotic in his fingers.

 

Blaine nodded. "You've been taking your medicines for years. You've been doing so well. And when things aren't going so well, you came to me."

 

Kurt smiled. "You're the reason we have all of this.."

 

"And you." Blaine said sweetly.

 

Kurt smiled about to take the pill when a shrill scream came from the back yard. Blaine ran out to see what happened. One of the little girls was on the ground, the others surrounding her.

 

"Jayde!..What happened here?"

 

"HUHAHHH!" Jayde let out a loud noise, holding up her hands and shaking her body, still in play mode.

 

"Jayde.." Blaine said in a fatherly tone, his hands on his hips.

 

"We got monsters, daddy. Its a bunch of monsters out here. Prince came out and told us to get in the castle. The castle was at the top of the jungle gym. We got up there. It was too many people in the castle. Sooooooooooooooooooo... Somebody had to go. We took a vote. She lost. I kicked her off." Jayde said in an animated tone.

 

"Jayde Elizabeth Anderson! That is not how we behave in this house. Now, you help her up and apologize right now.." Blaine scolded.

 

Jayde huffed, holding her hand out to her friend. "Sorry."

 

The other girl gabbed her hand and stood, brushing herself off. "S'okay.."

 

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked.

 

She nodded when Kurt stepped outside. "Moms are here!" He called.

 

The girls went running inside, Jayde staying behind. "Am I in trouble, daddy?.."

 

Blaine got on one knee and sighed. "No..But that's not how we play, okay?..We don't hurt our friends."

 

Jayde nodded, looking down. "Okay."

 

Blaine pulled her in for a hug and sighed softly. "Come on. We're taking daddy to the doctor today."

 

"Is he okay?"

 

"Yes..It's just..A talking doctor." Blaine explained.

 

"Okay." Jayde said, taking Blaine's hand.

 

They walked inside and said goodbye to their guests before getting ready to leave.

 

"Ready?" Blaine asked Kurt.

 

Kurt nodded, sighing softly. They piled into the car and headed to the doctor.  
It was a small building that looked like a house..They walked inside and there was a small waiting room with a table and magazines. Next to the table were toys that Jayde quickly busied herself with.  
In the next room was a desk where a nice looking older woman sat. "You must be Mr. Anderson.." She smiled at Kurt. "Doctor Smithson is ready for you."

 

"I'll be right out here if you need me." Blaine said softly.

 

Kurt nodded, walking into the back room. It was a comfy looking room with two armchairs and a long sofa. An older man sat in one of the armchairs and smiled. "Have a seat.."  
Kurt nodded, choosing to sit on the sofa.

 

"I'm Dr. Smithson. How are you feeling today, Kurt?"

 

"Um...Tired.." Kurt admitted, giving a nervous laugh.

 

"What brought you here?"

 

"I..I think my schizophrenia is coming back..Along with..An alter personality.."

 

Doctor Smithson nodded. "How did these symptoms start?"

 

"Um..It was..almost..Eleven or twelve years ago..I..I was raped.." Kurt whispered. "And it slowly tore my mind apart.."

 

"Do you think you ever got over it?" The doctor asked. "Maybe got over it were the wrong words. Have you learned to let it go?"

 

Kurt stared at the doctor before looking down. "I..I'm actually not sure.."

 

"That's okay." He said. "That's something we can work on. People often think they deserved what happened to them. Do you think that?"

 

Kurt looked away at a small clock embedded in a golfball and nodded weakly.

 

"Can you tell me how it happened?"

 

Kurt gave a shuddering breath and nodded. "I-I was walking home..Just like every day..But I was in a rush..So I thought, why not take a shortcut?.." Kurt chuckled bitterly. "I can't believe out of everything..I remember this day so clearly..But..I turned down an alley and there was just..This guy..He was tall and..Huge..Muscular..He was smoking..He smiled at me and I nodded as I walked by. I continued home, trying to make my way through the allies quickly when I..I heard him walking behind me. I turned around..And..He grabbed me by my arms and..p-pushed me against the wall..h-he held my hands so tightly..I couldn't move while he pulled my pants down and..t-told me to look in his eyes th-the whole time..O-Or he'd kill me.." Kurt got out shakily.

 

The doctor held out a box of tissues. "Kurt, you're the victim here. You did nothing wrong. I know you think you did. I want you to do something. Imagine someone. A young girl. She's out for a relaxing walk through the park on a spring evening. She just needed to get out. But someone attacks her. As the man did to you. Is she to blame? Did she secretly want that to happen?"

 

"N-No..Of course not.." Kurt whispered, taking the offered tissue and wiping his eyes.

 

"Neither did you."

 

"But..I.." Kurt looked down. "I shouldn't have.."

 

"You didn't know, Kurt. Anyone could've chosen to get home that way. You just happened to be the one that chose it that night. If you hadn't, he would've done it to someone else. It wasn't you're fault."

 

Kurt nodded, picking at the skin around his fingernails.

 

"What makes you think it was your fault?"

 

"I shouldn't have been in such a rush..I nodded at him..I was dressed so I could..Arouse my boyfriend that night.."

 

"For your boyfriend. Not the guy." Smithson reminded him.

 

Kurt nodded again. "Y-You're right.."

 

"I'm guessing you didn't tell your boyfriend."

 

"No..I didn't tell anyone.."

 

"And when did this other..identity..first start?"

 

"The day after Blaine left me."

 

"And why did Blaine leave?" The doctor asked.

 

"Because I got distant..I didn't want to be touched..I-I was falling apart and he thought I didn't want him anymore..I..I don't remember much after that.." Kurt said quietly.

 

"Is it just the one? Or are there more?"

 

"There was more.." Kurt said before telling the doctor everything he could. They talked for about an hour until Kurt's session was over.

 

"Kurt, I am very glad you came to me. I'd like you to come back at least once a week. If you're confortable."

 

Kurt nodded "I-I'd like that." He stood, shaking hands with him before walking out and returning to his family.

 

"How was it?" Blaine asked.

 

"Great.." Kurt smiled. He didn't feel very different, but it was nice to talk to someone.

 

"Good." Blaine grinned. They checked out and were on their way home. "Why don't we go out for dinner?"

 

"That sounds great.." Kurt smiled.

 

"Pizza!" Jayde grinned.

 

Blaine chuckled and looked to his husband, mouthing the words 'Chuck E Cheese' in a question. Kurt smiled and nodded.

 

"Pizza it is." Blaine said as he headed towards the play place.

 

When they got there, Jayde squealed with excitement. She wiggled happily as they went inside and ran off to play while Kurt and Blaine sat at a table.

 

"She's getting so big.." Blaine sighed.

 

Kurt nodded, playing with Blaine's fingers. "She really is.."

 

Blaine laughed before telling Kurt what happened between Jayde and her friend earlier that day.

 

Kurt let out a musical laugh. "Oh my god.." He smiled.

 

"It was so hard not to laugh. She has this attitude. Just like you would get. Hands on her hips and everything."

 

Kurt smiled wide as he looked over at his daughter. She was so perfect. She didn't deserve a father like Kurt..he had too many problems.

 

"I love you." Blaine said happily.

 

"I love you too.."

 

The next day, Blaine was at work and Kurt was sitting alone in his room after waking up from an extremely detailed nightmare. He almost ran downstairs and saw Jayde in the kitchen. "Are you hungry Jadie?.." He asked quickly.

 

"No." Jayde replied.

 

Kurt nodded, before looking out the window and gasping harshly. There were six crows sitting on Jayde's jungle gym, staring into the house. Right at Kurt. "Jayde..C-Can you count those birds for Daddy?.."

 

"What birds, Daddy?.."

 

"Baby, go to your room! Go, now! Daddy needs to be alone."

 

Jayde jumped slightly at Kurt's sudden shift in tone but jumped down from the table, gathering her things and hurrying upstairs.

 

Kurt reached up and pulled his hair, letting out a whimper. "Go away..go away.."

 

"Soon.." He heard claude whisper in the back of his head. Kurt growled loudly, slamming his hand down on the counter several times. "No! Leave me alone! Leave us alone!!" He screamed with each pound of his fist.

 

Jayde had tears in her eyes as she called Blaine.

 

"Hello?" Blaine answered quickly.

 

"D-Daddy's talking about b-birds and yelling.. C-Come home.."

 

Blaine swallowed loudly. "Okay babygirl, ill be there soon okay?.."

 

"O-Okay.."

 

Kurt burst through the door and jayde quickly hid the phone behind her back.  
"Jayde..I need you to stay in this room until Blaine comes home and gets you okay?..Do not come looking for me no matter what." Kurt said, getting on his knees and pulling her close.

 

"D-Daddy, you're scaring me.." Jayde whimpered.

 

"Please just do what I'm telling you baby..I love you..I love you so much.." Kurt got out, holding back tears.

 

"I love y-you too, daddy.." Jayde said as her bottom lip trembled.

 

"Don't cry..Its gonna be okay..You're gonna be so safe..You and Daddy..Everyone.."

 

Jayde sniffled and took a deep breath. "And you."

 

Kurt closed his eyes, kissed Jayde's forehead and stood. "Stay in here.." He whispered before leaving the room.

 

Jayde curled up on her bed, wishing Blaine would come in at any second.

 

Blaine raced home as fast as he could. Was Claude out? Was he going to hurt Jayde? It felt like forever before he pulled into the driveway. He turned the car off and ran inside. He searched downstairs but found no one. No.. "Jayde!" Blaine yelled, running up to his daughter's room. He sighed when he saw she was okay. "Where's daddy?"

 

"I-In his room I think.."

 

Blaine spun around and ran to his room.

 

Kurt made sure the door was locked before stepping up on the kitchen chair and looping his head through Blaine's sturdy leather belt he was using as a makeshift noose. He could do this..He had to do this to save his family.

 

Blaine pounded on the door. "Kurt! Open the door!"

 

Kurt gasped, looking over. "No! Blaine..Just..I have to do this!"

 

"Open the fucking door!" Blaine yelled, reaching for the phone. "You don't need to do anything but be here for our daughter!"

 

Kurt whimpered as the tears came. "I can't!"

 

Blaine called for an ambulence before beating on the door again. "Kurt! Please!"

 

Kurt shook his head. "I'm sorry..I love you.." He said before pushing off of the chair. It clattered to the floor and the leather tightened around his throat. No more air, nothing but pain and a loud bang as Blaine kicked the door open.

 

Blaine didn't have time to react. He immediately lifted Kurt up so the belt wasn't tight. He frantically looked around, spotting a pair of sissors on the nightstand. Blaine cut the leather as fast as he could and laid his husband down. "Kurt! Kurt, baby, please.. Breathe.." he rocked his husband in his arms, tears streaming down his face as the EMTs came rushing in. They grabbed Kurt's limp body and hoisted him up onto the gurney. "How long was he hanging?"

 

"I don't know.. Maybe two minutes.."

 

They nodded as jayde screamed as she saw her father being carried out. "Daddy!"

 

Blaine grabbed Jayde. "He's okay.."

 

"No! Daddy wake up!"

 

"Shh.. Daddy's okay.. H-He's sleeping.." Blaine tried to soothe. "Come on. Get your shoes. We're going to the hospital."

 

Jayde nodded, grabbing her shoes, coat, and stuffed unicorn. Blaine kept his tears in for his daughter. He got her in the car and followed the ambulance.

 

"Why d-does Daddy have to go to the h-hospital?.." Jayde sniffed.

 

"You know daddy likes to clean. He was trying to reach the ceiling fan. He.. He fell.."

 

"Is he okay?.."

 

"He will be."

 

Jayde nodded, pulling her unicorn closer and kissing it softly. "Don't worry..Daddy's gonna be okay..Then he'll play with us again.."

 

Blaine gave a weak smile as he looked in the mirror at his daughter. She hugged the toy close as they followed the ambulance to the hospital. When they got there, the two sat in the waiting area, waiting to hear anything.

 

A doctor walked out, clutching her clipboard a bit nervously.

 

Blaine stood up. "How is he?"

 

"He won't talk to us..He had to be restrained..But..He's very lucky Mr. Anderson."

 

"I know.." Blaine said quietly. "What happens now?"

 

"We keep him for seventy-two hour suicide watch..Consult his psychologist and therapist..And treat the wounds on his neck." She said softly.

 

Blaine nodded. "Okay.."

 

"Would you like to go see him..?"

 

"Please."

 

She nodded, leading Blaine and Jayde to the back.

 

Blaine's face fell further when he saw his husband. Kurt was restrained to the bed, his chest heaving with gauze wrapped around his neck. Blaine slowly walked over. "Kurt.."

 

Kurt said nothing, staring at the ceiling.

 

"I am so sorry.. I should've been home.."

 

Kurt was still quiet, clenching and unclenching his fists.  
"Daddy?.." Jayde whispered.

 

Blaine lifted Jayde. "Our daughter's here.."

 

Kurt closed his eyes and Jayde leaned over, placing her unicorn next to him.

 

"She misses you." Jayde said quietly.

 

Kurt looked over at his daughter, pulling lightly at his restraints.

 

"She's going to take care of you until you come home." Jayde said softly. "Can I lay with daddy?"

 

Blaine bit his lip, but nodded, setting her on the side of the bed.

 

Jayde curled up on the bed, resting her head on Kurt's chest. "Can you get me water?" She asked Blaine.

 

Blaine nodded. "Okay.."

 

Jayde waited for Blaine to leave. She cupped Kurt's cheek with her little hand. "Daddy.. I don't want you to hurt.. You said you'd be safe.."

 

Kurt's eyes grew red as tears filled his eyes.

 

"Don't leave me.."

 

Kurt just closed his eyes, looking away from his daughter. She laid back down and sighed. Kurt stayed quiet. He felt like he'd failed. He couldn't even protect his family..

 

Blaine came back and handed his daughter a cup.

 

"Thank you, Daddy.." Jayde whispered.

 

"You're welcome, sweetie."

 

Kurt stayed quiet, staring at his heart monitor. Blaine walked back to the hallway and called Carol.

 

"Hello?" She answered.

 

"Kurt's in the hospital.."

 

"What?..What's wrong?"

 

"He tried to kill himself.." Blaine said quietly.

 

"Oh no..Is..Is he okay? What happened?"

 

"Tried to hang himself with my belt.. He's awake now. But won't talk."

 

"Are you okay?.." Carole asked. "Do you know what made him do it?.."

 

"No. He seemed okay. He talked to someone. It's been good.."

 

Carole sighed softly. "I don't know..Was it Claude?"

 

"I don't know.."

 

Carole sighed softly. They had to figure this out.  
Jayde sat with Kurt, playing with her unicorn. "You're gonna get better and play with us soon, huh daddy?"

 

Kurt's eyes glazed over before a low chuckle came out. "No."

 

Jayde looked over at her father. "What?.."

 

"Your daddy will not be okay."

 

"Are you scary Daddy?.." Jayde asked, hugging her unicorn.

 

"I am. Nice to finally meet you." Claude grinned.

 

"I'm not scared of you.."

 

"And why is that?"

 

"Because. You won't hurt me cuzz daddy won't let you. And you're stuck to the bed." She said before poking her tongue out at him.

 

Something about that really irritated Claude. "I won't be restrained for long."

 

"Nuh uh." Jayde said, placing her unicorn on his chest. "You'll stay stuck as long as Daddy says."

 

"I almost got you the other day."

 

"You didn't." Jayde said matter of factly.

 

"If that faggot husband of his wouldn't have come home, I would've killed your daddy today."

 

Jayde's eyebrows kneaded together. "Faggot?.."

 

"Both your daddies are faggots. They're disgusting." Claude spat.

 

"No they're not..They aren't disgusting.." Jayde defended.

 

"Yes, they are."

 

"No, they're not!" Jayde yelled, jumping off of the bed and stomping her foot.

 

Claude chuckled. "You're so blind."

 

"Nuh uh.." Jayde said. "I can see fine.."

 

"I will win this. Just a little longer."

 

Jayde looked angry. "I won't let you hurt my daddies! You're just jealous cuzz no one wants to love you or hug you. My daddies love me and I love them. No one loves you cuzz you're mean!"

 

Claude just chuckled. "So young. Naive."

 

"I'm not a baby..I know a mean person when I see one. Daddy says people are mean because they hate themselves or they're sad." Jayde said, her hands on her hips.

 

"You're daddy is sad. He hates himself."

 

"No he doesn't. Daddy is nice.."

 

"Then why does he want to die? Why won't he stay with you?"

 

"He..He doesn't want to die. He fell down..He said we're all gonna be safe and happy.." Jayde whispered.

 

"He lied to you."

 

Jayde's eyes filled with tears. "I hate you.."

 

"I'm not too fond of you either." Claude grinned.

 

Jayde huffed as Blaine walked in. "Daddy.." She whimpered, running to him.

 

"Baby? What's wrong?"

 

"Scary Daddy is being mean...He said Daddy wants to die and he's gonna get me and y-you.."

 

"It's just not enough, is it?" Blaine sighed, looking to Claude.

 

"I don't know what you mean.." Claude grinned.

 

"Come on, Jayde." Blaine said, taking her hand.

 

"Oh, don't go..We were having so much fun!" Claude laughed as they walked away.

 

"Daddy, my unicorn.." Jayde whimpered. "I left Sparkle.."

 

Blaine sighed. He walked back and picked up the toy. "Leave my daughter alone."

 

"I'll make sure you find her body.."

 

Blaine tightened his fists. He wanted to hit Claude so badly. But he knew it would mean hurting Kurt. "You will not lay a finger on her."

 

Claude pulled a menacing smile. "We'll see about that.."

 

Blaine left, handing the toy to Jayde.

 

Jayde hugged it to her chest, sniffing as she followed Blaine.

 

"Don't listen to a word he says."

 

"But..What if he's right?.."

 

"He's not."

 

"Daddy?.."

 

"Yes?"

 

"What's a faggot?"

 

Blaine stopped. "Where did you hear that?"

 

"Scary Daddy.."

 

Blaine kneeled down and sighed. "That is a very bad word. It's what people call someone who likes the same sex. Like me and daddy."

 

"He said you're disgusting. I don't think you are.." Jayde said quietly.

 

"Thank you, baby girl. He knows it would hurt me if he said it. It's just a mean word."

 

"He's mean.."Jayde said seriously.

 

"I know.."

 

"When does he go away?.."

 

"Randomly."

 

Jayde sighed. "Okay.."

 

"We'll get you some dinner and come back."

 

"Okay daddy.." she said, grabbing his hand as he stood.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry for the short notice. But this is the last chapter. Grab your tissues!!

 

After Kurt left the hospital, he still wouldnt speak, only to his therapist. Even then, he barely spoke. He sat on the sofa, scratching nervously at his wrist as the doctor looked at him.

 

 

"Have you been feeling any better?" The doctor asked.

 

 

Kurt just slowly shook his head, tracing the raised scars on his arm. "I still want to die."

 

 

"Why? What makes you not want to stay for your family?"

 

 

"He'll hurt them.."

 

 

"You don't think you can control him?"

 

 

"Not anymore."

 

 

"And why is that?"

 

 

"I could never control him. He made me think I could.." Kurt whispered. "I keep having dreams about killing my husband."

 

 

The doctor nodded slowly. "And you're opposed to going back to a hospital, correct?"

 

 

"Blaine is..I'd rather not, but either way he won't let me.." Kurt said. "I haven't told him about the dreams.."

 

 

"What's stopping you?"

 

 

"I don't want to scare him."

 

 

"I'm not encouraging this. But what has stopped you from doing it?"

 

 

"I could never hurt him..Or leave Jayde alone.."

 

 

"No, I mean, what is stopping you from taking your life so far?" The doctor asked.

 

 

Kurt looked down. "Blaine walked in the last time..I scared Jayde.."

 

 

"Do you think anyone could help you?"

 

 

"No.." Kurt said, wrapping his arms around himself.

 

Doctor Smithson thought for a moment. "Why do you come in here? Why do you want to talk to me?"

 

 

"I don't know..I just..I guess it helps.."

 

 

"I think I could help you, Kurt. I really do."

 

 

"How?.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Well, you haven't tried anything since you started seeing me. You're comfortable here. It's a safe place. I think this is good for you." Doctor Smithson said.

 

 

Kurt looked down. "Yeah..Me too.."

 

 

"I think you should try to get better again."

 

 

"I'm just so tired of trying..In the end..I just fail.."

 

 

"That's what I'm trying to help you stop."

 

 

Kurt nodded lightly. "Thank you, doctor.."

 

 

"You're welcome."

 

 

Kurt's hour was over and he didnt feel any better. He had a sick feeling in his stomach as he walked out to Blaine and Jayde.

 

 

"How was it, Daddy?" Jayde asked, reaching for her father's hand.

 

 

Kurt grabbed her little hand. "It was okay.."

 

 

She smiled as she swung their joined hands. "Good."

 

 

Kurt gave a small smile. "Baby?" He asked Blaine.

 

 

"Yeah?"

 

 

"When we get home..Can we just lay down?..You and I?"

 

 

Blaine smiled. "I'd like that."

 

 

"What about me?" Jayde asked sadly.

 

 

"How about..You come sleep with us tonight?..I just need some time with Daddy.." Kurt said softly.

 

 

"Okay." She said, satisfied.

 

 

They drove back to the house and Kurt walked up to the bedroom, slowly undressing. Blaine put a movie on for their daughter and made her something to eat before joining his husband. Kurt looked over at Blaine, smiling shyly. Blaine sighed quietly. "Your beauty still amazes me."

 

 

Kurt blushed, looking down. "Really?"

 

 

Blaine nodded. "You're gorgeous, Kurt."

 

 

Kurt finished undressing and slid under the blankets. "I can only imagine what you would think if I didn't have all of these scars.."

 

 

"The same." Blaine said as he laid next to his husband. "I love you."

 

 

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine. "I love you too, Blaine.."

 

 

"Forever."

 

 

Kurt just looked up at his husband, his eyes had something sad in them.

 

 

"What's wrong?" Blaine whispered.

 

 

"I..I don't know.."

 

 

"Come here." Blaine said, pulling him closer. Kurt scooted closer to his husband, sighing softly.

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

 

 

"I just want to be close to you.."

 

 

"I'm here baby."

 

 

Kurt took in a shaky breath, wrapping his arms around Blaine tighter.

 

 

"Are you excited to spend the day with Rachel tomorrow?"

 

 

Kurt gave a light smile. "Yeah..I heard she had the baby while i was in the hospital..How is she?.."

 

 

"Really good. Tired. But good." Blaine said.

 

 

"How's Barbara?"

 

 

"Beautiful and healthy. Lets just hope she's got Rachel's brain and gracefulness," Blaine joked.

 

 

Kurt gave a weak giggle. "Good."

 

 

"You'll love her."

 

 

Kurt hitched his leg around Blaine's hip. "I will.."

 

 

Blaine ran his hand up Kurt's leg and smiled warmly. Kurt gave a soft sigh, closing his eyes. His husband's touch relaxed him more than anything. Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head. "I love you."

 

 

"I love you so much, Blaine.." Kurt whispered. Although Blaine's touch relaxed him, it couldn't get rid of his horrible foreboding feeling he had in the back of his mind..

 

 

Blaine held Kurt close as he fell asleep. In the middle of the night, Kurt shot straight up, screaming loudly. Jayde cried out at the fright, clutching to Blaine. "Daddy!"

 

 

Kurt's breathing was ragged as he tried to calm down. "I-I.. I'm okay, baby.."

 

 

Blaine sat up quickly, instinctively grabbing Jayde. "Kurt..What's wrong?.."

 

 

"Just..a dream.." Kurt breathed out.

 

 

"Jayde..Give Daddy Kurt a kiss..I want you to go sleep in your room..Okay?"

 

 

Jayde nodded, doing as she was told. "Good night daddy.."

 

 

Kurt nodded. "Good night baby girl.."

 

 

Blaine waited for Jayde to walk out. "Are you okay?"

 

 

"Yeah..Just..Bad dreams..l-like always.."

 

 

Blaine held Kurt close. Something didn't feel right. But he decided to push that feeling away.

 

 

Kurt clutched to his husband, trying not to Break down. "I-I know I never said it..But I'm sorry..I-I'm so sorry.."

 

 

"For what?" Blaine asked.

 

 

"F-For trying to..kill m-myself.."

 

 

"It killed me to see that.. I feel.. Like you don't want to be with us.."

 

 

"I do..I want to be with you forever..But more than that, I want you and Jayde to be safe..That's the only way.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Kurt, you lost your mom when you were young. Imagine how Jayde would feel if she lost you."

 

 

"Imagine how she would feel if she lost you because of me.."

 

 

"I really feel like all of this is my fault."

 

 

"Ive been telling you it isn't for years, Blaine.."

 

 

"I know. But if I would've stayed, maybe this wouldn't be happening." Blaine whispered.

 

 

"I forgave you for leaving a long time ago.." Kurt whispered, looking up at Blaine with loving eyes.

 

 

"I never forgave myself."

 

 

"I know..I wish you could.." The older whispered, cupping Blaine's cheek and kissing him softly.

 

 

"Me too.."

 

 

"I love you so much, Blaine.."

 

 

"I love you too, Kurt."

 

 

Kurt sighed shakily, kissing Blaine again.

 

 

"Try to rest baby." Blaine said softly.

 

 

"O-okay.." Kurt whispered, nuzzling under Blaine's jaw.

 

 

Blaine took a deep breath before trying to fall asleep again.

 

 

The next morning, Rachel came before Blaine left for work. She was there to help Kurt watch jayde, but mostly to make sure Kurt didn't try anything again.

 

 

"Do you want to go out anywhere today?" Rachel asked.

 

 

Kurt sat at the kitchen table, staring at the cup of coffee Blaine made him before he left. "No..I just..I dont feel all that well.."

 

 

"Are you sick?"

 

 

Kurt shook his head. "I don't think so.." he said softly as Jayde bounced into the room. "Aunt Rachel! Where'd your tummy go?"

 

 

Rachel chuckled lightly. "I had my baby. So the tummy is gone."

 

 

"Can I meet your baby?" She smiled.

 

 

"Yes. She'll be here when Uncle Finn stops by."

 

 

Kurt looked at his daughter and closed his eyes as he felt his hand twitch. He gave a soft sigh, trying to massage the muscles in his palm. He was so tired..Tired of dealing with this..

 

 

Rachel gave a sad smile. "It's okay, Kurt."

 

 

"What's wrong, Daddy?.."

 

 

"Daddy's tired.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"Take a nap." Jayde said, happy that she could think of a way to help her father.

 

 

Kurt gave a weak smile. "Thank you baby..I will later.."

 

 

"Okay."

 

 

Kurt slowly took a sip of his coffee, letting the taste linger in his mouth.

 

 

"Aunt Rachel, will you play with me?"

 

 

"Of course, sweetie..call me if you need me Kurt.." Rachel smiled.

 

 

"I will." Kurt said dismissively.

 

 

Rachel nodded, following Jayde up to her room. They played for a while until there was a knock on the door. Rachel looked up and opened the door.

 

 

"Hey gorgeous." Finn grinned, holding their baby close.

 

 

Rachel smiled wide as Jayde rushed up. "The baby!"

 

 

Finn chuckled. "Let's go to the couch and I'll let you hold her."

 

 

They walked to the living room where Kurt sat, reading a book.

 

 

"Hey, Kurt." Finn smiled.

 

 

Kurt looked up. "Oh..Hey finn..You brought Barbara? .." He said quietly.

 

 

"I did." He said as Jayde jumped onto the couch.

 

 

"Can I hold her now? Pleasepleaseplease?" Jayde grinned.

 

 

"Be very careful and make sure to keep her head up." Finn said as he gently handed his daughter to Jayde.

 

 

Kurt watched as Jayde cradled the baby in her arms. It was odd that something that usually would bring him so much joy, had no effect on him.

 

 

"She's beautiful!" Jayde said excitedly.

 

 

Rachel smiled wide as Kurt reached over, gently rubbing over the infant's forehead. Barbara cooed as she looked up at her cousin.

 

 

"You're so pretty.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"She's our little angel." Rachel grinned. Kurt nodded, looking to his own daughter.

 

 

"Am I your angel daddy?"

 

 

"Yes..You're my perfect angel.." Kurt whispered. "Daddy loves you very much..You know that right?.."

 

 

Jayde nodded. "And I love you. I have the bestest family."

 

 

"You're happy?.." Kurt asked.

 

 

"I'm always happy with you, Daddy."

 

 

Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he stood. "I'm sorry.." he whispered, hurrying upstairs.

 

 

"I'll be right back." Rachel said, running after Kurt.

 

 

Kurt was curled up in the bed, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. Rachel knocked before walking in. "Kurt? What's wrong?"

 

 

Kurt didnt say anything. He just curled up tighter.

 

 

"Kurt, talk to me."

 

 

"What do you want me to say?!" Kurt yelled, sitting up. "I want to die!..But..I-I cant leave her.. I can't leave my baby.."

 

 

"Then don't." Rachel said seriously. "That little girl down there loves you more than anything. We'd all be broken if we lost you. But Jayde.. Jayde will suffer the most."

 

 

Kurt buried his face in his hands as he cried. Rachel rubbed up and down Kurt's back. "I know you're going through a lot. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is. But you're not alone. Please, Kurt. Please don't hurt yourself. If not for yourself, do it for Jayde. Stay here for her."

 

 

"That's why I can't stay..For h-her.."

 

 

"You've been doing so well, Kurt."

 

 

"No I wasn't.. Hes just been waiting..Something terrible is going to happen, Rachel..I can feel it in my bones.." Kurt rasped.

 

 

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows.

 

 

"I don't know.." Kurt whimpered helplessly.

 

 

Rachel grabbed her best friend's hand. "You have my number. If you feel yourself losing control, call me. I don't care if its the middle of the night. I'll come over."

 

 

Kurt nodded, squeezing her hand as he broke down.

 

 

"Let it out."

 

 

Kurt felt like he was falling apart. Nothing felt real. His mind was slipping away and sanity was being replaced with paranoia. Rachel laid them down and held Kurt close. Kurt wrapped himself around his best friend, sobbing heavily until he eventually fell asleep. Rachel kissed his forehead and quietly headed downstairs.

 

 

"Is Daddy okay?.." Jayde asked.

 

 

"Yes. He's just tired and needs a nap."

 

 

She nodded and Finn stood. "I should probably get this one home for a nap.."

 

 

"Are you staying, Aunt Rachel?"

 

 

"Until your Daddy Blaine comes home." She smiled.

 

 

"Yayy!"

 

 

Rachel smiled, giving finn a kiss before he left and going to play outside with Jayde. Kurt woke up later that day, his head spinning. Claude's voice was echoing in his head. He couldn't make out what he was saying and it scared him. "What?!" Kurt yelled at the man in his mind. But the only response he got was the insidious laughter. Kurt got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He felt crawling under his skin, and he was seeing things, crows flying through the bathroom, fluttering violently as they flew around him. Kurt couldn't even scream as he fell, sheilding his head with his arms. Claude kept up his whispering, so low to keep Kurt terrified. Kurt's chest was heaving as he pulled his hair. "What do you w-want?.."

 

 

"You'll see soon enough." Claude's voice sounded more menacing than usual as he faded away slowly. Suddenly there was silence and Kurt looked up. The room was quiet and empty. Save for his rapid heartbeat. He stood on shaky legs and carefully peeked around the corner. He wished Blaine would hurry up and get home..

 

 

A few minutes later, Rachel came up the stairs to check on Kurt. Kurt was still cowering in the bathroom when the door opened.

"Kurt?" Rachel got out before gasping. "Kurt, what happened?"

 

 

"I need Blaine.." Kurt whimpered quietly.

 

 

"Hold on, Kurt. I'll call him."

 

 

Kurt nodded as Claude's voice started to come back. "No..Please stop.." he whined.

 

 

Rachel shakily dialed Blaine's number.

 

 

Blaine answered quickly. "Rachel..Is everything okay?.."

 

 

Kurt was shaking like a leaf as he pulled his hair harder.

 

 

"No. Kurt needs you now." She said urgently.

 

 

"I'll be right there." He said quickly before hanging up.

 

 

Kurt stood, walking past Rachel and down to the kitchen.

 

 

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked as she followed.

 

 

Kurt said nothing, opening a drawer and rummaging through it.

 

 

"Kurt." Rachel said, reaching out to try and stop him.

 

 

"Stop!" Kurt yelled, making Rachel jump back as he stared at her with menacing eyes.

 

 

"Jayde. Jayde, sweetie, go to your room." Rachel said quickly. Kurt grabbed Jayde's wrist before she could walk past him.

"Kurt! Let go of her right now!" Rachel yelled, grabbing his arm.

 

 

Kurt jerked Jayde away. "You stay away from my baby!!" He growled.

 

 

"Then calm the fuck down!" Rachel screamed as Blaine ran in.

"Kurt! Kurt, let her go!"

 

 

Kurt's chest was heaving as he held Jayde behind him. Who were these people?.. "Stay away from her!"

 

 

"Baby, please. Calm down. It's just me. It's Blaine. Please, don't hurt her." Blaine pleaded.

 

 

"I would never hurt her.." Kurt whimpered, grabbing a knife off of the counter and pointing it at him. "You keep away from her!"

 

 

Blaine put his hands up as Jayde started to cry. "I'll back away. Just put the knife down."

 

 

Kurt had tears streaming down his face, his hand shaking as he kept the blade in Blaine's direction.

 

 

Blaine slowly backed off. "She's my daughter too, Kurt. Please, put the knife down."

 

 

Kurt looked back at Jayde. The little girl looked terrified.

 

 

"Please, daddy," Jayde whimpered. Kurt slowly lowered the knife, gasping harshly as Jayde ran past him to Rachel. Rachel knelt down and held her niece close. "Shh. It's okay, Jayde."

 

 

"Don't touch her!" Kurt yelled, starting towards Rachel.

 

 

Blaine stepped in and grabbed Kurt's wrists. "Kurt. Listen to me. That's your sister-in-law. She won't hurt Jayde."

 

 

Kurt's eyes went wide as he tried to struggle away from Blaine . "Baby..Baby.." He whimpered.

 

 

"Kurt, calm down. She's okay. It's okay."

 

 

Kurt closed his eyes as a violent tremor ripped through his body. "Fuck!" He got out in a wail of pain.

 

 

Blaine tried not to panic. "Baby, please. Calm down. Take a deep breath. You're okay.."

 

 

Kurt's knees gave out from under him and he collapsed to the floor, Blaine still holding his wrists as the knife clattered on the kitchen tile.

 

 

Blaine knelt down quickly. He cupped his husband's face in his hands. "Baby? Kurt?"

 

 

Kurt's eyes were vacant and hooded as he looked at his husband.

 

 

"Daddy?.." Jayde whimpered.

 

 

"Rachel, please take her upstairs." Blaine said quietly.

 

 

"No, what's wrong with Daddy?!" Jayde cried, struggling to get to Kurt.

 

 

"He needs to rest, Jayde. Come on." Rachel said, keeping her back.

 

 

Jayde screamed as Rachel picked her up and carried her upstairs. "Daddy! Daddy!"

 

 

Tears stung Blaine's eyes as he held his husband. "Please, Kurt. We need you. I need you.."

 

 

Kurt's dull gray eyes stayed locked on Blaine as another tremor shot through him. Blaine didnt know what to do as the tears streamed down his face. Kurt grinned as Claude's laughter rumbled low in his stomach.

 

 

"Baby?.."

 

 

Claude shook his head, a menacing grin plastered to his face as he started to laugh harder. "I didn't think it was going to be this easy!"

 

 

"Why cant you just leave us the fuck alone?" Blaine yelled.

 

 

Claude reached down, grabbing the knife. "Because you left him alone.."

 

 

Blaine tried to grab Claude's wrist but he wasn't fast enough. Claude knocked Blaine onto his back and climbed on top of him, holding the knife to his throat. Blaine took a shaky breath, trying to hide his fears. Claude tilted his head to the side, staring down at Blaine. "You didn't even have a second thought..You left him..Got fucked by other men..You didn't even think about him, did you?.."

 

 

"I thought about him every fucking day!" Blaine spat, trying to fight against Claude.

 

 

Claude pushed the knife down more, causing Blaine to hold still. "You deserve to suffer.." he smiled, leaning down to bite down at Blaine's ear. "I wonder if you scream like he did.." he whispered.

 

 

"No.." Blaine whimpered.

 

 

Claude gave a dark chuckle. "Oh yes..He screamed for you Blaine..And you'll scream for him..and he won't come..Just like you didn't come for him.."

 

 

Blaine shook his head. "No."

 

 

"No?" Claude laughed, looking down at Blaine with an amused expression. Blaine looked away, looking for anything in reach to fight back. Claude leaned down to kiss Blaine's neck, moving the knife momentarily. Blaine found his opening as his hand closed around a wine bottle from the rack. Blaine gripped the neck of the bottle and brought it down against the floor, shattering it and spilling the wine all over the tile. Blaine brought the sharp, broken edges to Claude's neck. This was his chance. He could end all of this. He looked up and realized it was still his husband. Even if it cost him his life, Blaine knew he couldn't hurt Kurt.

In the shock of the noise Claude dropped the knife and was pushed back against the counter, Blaine holding the jagged glass to his neck. He looked scared for a moment before starting to laugh.

Blaine pressed the edge closer, creating the smallest cut. He hoped Claude would bring Kurt out. Just for moment. It would scare his husband but Blaine didn't care as long as Claude left. Claude gasped, but to Blaine's despair, Kurt didn't emerge. "What are you planning on doing with that?.."

 

 

Blaine searched Claude's face, not saying a word.

 

 

"I'm sure Kurt would love to see this...But that's what you want isn't it..to give him an opening.. If he comes out..You know I can come back..Just like..that.." Claude snapped his fingers and suddenly his expression turned terrified. "B-Blaine?.."

 

 

Blaine didn't think about Claude's words. He dropped the broken bottle and held Kurt close. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he realized this would be the last time he had with his husband. He cupped Kurt's cheeks in his hands. "I love you, Kurt. I love you so much. I-I know you don't understand this yet. But.. I forgive you. I know it's not you. I love you." He say quickly.

 

 

"What's happening?.." Kurt whimpered as he broke down into hysterical tears.

 

 

"I don't want you to worry about anything, okay? J-Just remember that I love you more than anything."

 

 

"I-I love you too.." Kurt gasped, cupping Blaine's face in his hands.

 

 

Blaine pressed himself against Kurt and kissed him deeply. "Don't be scared."

 

 

"Don't leave me..Please..I'm scared, Blaine..I dont want to wake up to something else..p-please..don't let him take me again..." Kurt sobbed.

 

 

"Don't let him. Stay with me. Just look at me. Do everything you can to stay with me and things will be okay. I need you to fight him Kurt." Blaine said as Rachel came downstairs. Blaine hurried over to her. "Go upstairs. Whatever you hear, don't come down. Promise me, you'll take care of Jayde. Please, Rachel."

 

 

"Blaine I won't let him hurt you! Jayde is terrified, she thinks you're gonna die!"

 

 

"I want my baby!" Kurt sobbed, pulling his hair roughly.

 

 

"Go upstairs. Tell her everything is fine. Put music on to calm her. I don't want her to hear anything." Blaine said quickly. "Go Rachel. Lock the door too."

 

 

Rachel swallowed roughly, nodding before hurrying upstairs. Kurt was panting harshly, fighting for dominance in his mind.

 

 

Blaine ran back to Kurt and pulled him close. "You can do it, Kurt."

 

 

Kurt pulled away, standing and pacing through the kitchen, the shattered glass cutting his feet as he walked over the razor sharp shards like they were nothing.

 

 

"Kurt..?"

 

 

urt shook his head as he grabbed another knife and started upstairs.

 

 

"No!" Blaine yelled, running over and grabbing him. "It's me that you want. Take me!"

 

 

Kurt's eyes were dull as he pushed Blaine away and continued up the stairs.

 

 

Rachel heard the commotion and grabbed Jayde. "Come on, in the closet, sweetie."

 

 

Blaine ducked under Kurt's arm and stood in front of him. "Leave her alone!"

 

 

Kurt stared at Blaine with something dark in his eyes. He grabbed Blaine's throat and slammed him against Jayde's door. Blaine gasped harshly as a deep voice growled and Blaine was thrown to the side. Kurt kicked Jayde's door open. Blaine got back up and tackled his husband. "No!"

 

 

They fell into the room and Blaine saw it was empty, only hearing a whimper come from the closet. He gasped as he was pushed, sent flying off of Kurt's body and against Jayde's bookshelf.

Blaine struggled to get back up before pinning Kurt down. "Rachel, take her to your house now!"

 

 

Rachel grabbed jayde and opened the closet door. "Daddy! Daddy please don't fight! P-please!" Jayde screamed.

 

 

Blaine used all of his strength to keep his husband down as Rachel ran out of the room. Kurt struggled under blaine, letting out a loud guttural growl. Blaine waited until he heard the front door shut. "Kurt, baby, I know you're in there. Please, come back."

 

 

Kurt's eyes flashed back to the dark black Blaine knew belonged to Claude. The menacing laugh filled the room as he ripped his arm free, driving the tip if the knife into Blaine's arm.

 

 

"Ah!" Blaine cried out, falling back.

 

 

Claude stood over Blaine. "I've been waiting for this.."

 

 

"Fucking do it. Get it over with. You win." Blaine said through his teeth.

 

 

Claude bent down, smiling wide as he ran the tip of the knife down Blaine's neck to his stomach. "You never got to say goodbye to your little girl.."

 

 

Blaine closed his eyes. Jayde was the last thing he wanted to think about. She was safe now. That's what mattered.

Claude chuckled, pulling back before plunging the knife deep into Blaine's stomach. Blaine curled in on himself as the pain shot through him. Claude pulled out and stabbed Blaine three more times beforeKurt gasped as he looked down at Blaine. "B-Blaine...No!" He cried out, dropping down to his knees.

 

 

Blaine was gasping harshly, his hands over his stomach. Kurt cupped Blaine's face in his blood-covered hands. "No..Don't leave me.." he sobbed.

 

 

"K-K..Kurt.."

 

 

"I'm so sorry.." Kurt whispered, petting Blaine's face and hair. "I-I..I..Don't g-go.."

 

 

Blaine looked up at his husband, a tear slipping down his cheek as he took his last breath. Kurt let out a pained cry, pulling Blaine into his arms. "No! No...no no..Blaine...B-Blaine, don't leave me!"

 

 

He cried and screamed as the body in his arms didn't move. He sat there, crying over his husband's body for hours until he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Blaine?.." Finn's voice called. Kurt wiped his eyes, more of his lover's blood streaking across his face.

Finn walked into the room and gasped. "Shit! Kurt, what did you do?!"

 

 

Kurt looked up at Finn and pulled the knife out of Blaine's body. "I didn't..I-it was Claude!" He said, pulling his husband closer protectively.

 

 

"Oh my god.." Finn got out as he turned around. "Stay here.. I'll be right back."

 

 

"W-Where are you going?"

 

 

"Just the hallway. I'm going to call someone."

 

 

Kurt looked down at the knife. "Finn..?"

 

 

"Yes, Kurt?"

 

 

"Please..Make sure Jayde always knows how much her daddies loved her.." Kurt whispered, putting the knife to his neck.

 

 

Finn slowly turned around to face Kurt. Something in his voice didn't sound right. "KURT, NO!"

 

 

Kurt quickly dragged the knife across his skin, slitting his own throat and falling forward across Blaine's body.

 

 

"NO!" Finn yelled again at the sight of his dead brother. He stood there in shock, unable to process what had happened until his phone rang with a call from his wife. He shakily lifted the phone to his ear. "R-Rachel..He killed him.."

 

 

"No.." She whispered. "W-Where's Kurt?"

 

 

"He..He just...Oh my god..I-I can't..Rachel.." Finn whimpered before breaking down.

 

 

"Finn? Please tell me he's okay. Finn?"

 

 

"He slit his own throat.."

 

 

Rachel immediately burst into tears.

 

 

Finn closed the door, unable to stand the sight any longer. "I..I think he wants us to take care of Jayde.."

 

 

"I-I promised Blaine..that w-we would.."

 

 

"Is that my daddy?.." Jayde whimpered. She hadn't stopped crying since they left.

 

 

"It's uncle Finn." Rachel said as calmly as she could.

 

 

"When are my daddies coming?..I-I want my daddies.."

 

 

"Finn, call 911 and I'll..talk to Jayde.."

 

 

Finn nodded and hung up.

 

 

"I want my daddies!" Jayde yelled.

 

 

Rachel sat down on the couch and sighed. "Jayde, come sit with me."

 

 

Jayde climbed up on the couch and cuddled up to Rachel, holding her close.

 

 

"I-I don't know how to tell you this, sweetie." Rachel started. "But.. You're going to stay with me and Uncle Finn now."

 

 

"No..I live with my daddies.."

 

 

"You're daddies aren't.. They aren't coming back.."

 

 

"What?..where are they?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"They're..not with us anymore." Rachel said carefully.

 

 

"They left me alone? Where'd they go?.."

 

 

"I know this is hard, Jayde. But, they're in heaven now."

 

 

The little girl gasped and even more tears flooded her eyes.

 

 

"Oh, sweetie," Rachel sighed, holding her niece close.

 

 

"I want my daddies.." She sobbed.

 

 

"I know, I know.."

 

 

Jayde didn't understand. Why were her daddies taken from her? They were so happy.

 

 

Rachel let Jayde cry until she fell asleep before calling Carole and breaking the news to her. Carole cried with Rachel when Finn walked inside, pale as a ghost.

Rachel politely got off the phone and walked to her husband, pulling him close. "I shouldn't have left.."

 

 

"You had to..You had to keep her safe.."

 

 

"They're dead, Finn.." Rachel whispered, clutching to her husband's shirt.

 

 

"I know.." Finn whispered. Rachel gasped as a sob escaped her. Finn wrapped his arms around his wife. "I-I'm just glad..You or Jayde didn't have to see them like that.."

 

 

"I'm so sorry, Finn."

 

 

Finn just shook his head, trying to forget the image burned into his mind.

 

 

The family got the funeral and will arranged over the next week. Blaine's will stated that he wanted Finn and Rachel to gain custody of Jayde. Most of his money went to her, and the rest went to the hospital Kurt went to.

Jayde sniffed as she was handed a letter from each of her parents, tucking it into her bag to get Rachel to read later. Kurt wrote several more letters for each of his family members and one to Blaine, which was given to Rachel. They made a few more funeral arrangements before heading back to the house. Jayde held the envelopes close, petting over her parents' handwriting slowly.

 

 

Rachel walked into the room they made for Jayde. "Hey sweetie.."

 

 

Jayde looked up. "Hi.." She said, still holding the unopened envelopes.

 

 

"Do you want to read them?"

 

 

"I'm scared to.."

 

 

"Why?"

 

 

"Because then they'll never say anything to me again.."

 

 

"You can open them whenever you're ready." Rachel sighed. "How did you get so smart?"

 

 

"My daddies.." Jayde said sadly.

 

 

"Your daddies were very smart."

 

 

Jayde nodded, hugging her unicorn close.

 

 

"You know they didn't want to leave, right?"

 

 

Jayde nodded slowly. "What happened to them?.."

 

 

"You know how Daddy Kurt was sick, right? In his mind? It made that scary guy come out?" Jayde nodded again, looking down. "The man you saw fighting Blaine wasn't Kurt. It was the scary man. Your daddies fought really hard. They didn't want to leave. But the man hurt them." Rachel explained.

 

 

Tears filled Jayde's again. "Daddy Blaine said he wouldn't let him hurt anyone.."

 

 

"He tried, Jayde. Daddy Blaine tried so hard. But the man was stronger."

 

 

Tears began to slip down her cheeks as she hugged the unicorn. "I-I miss him.."

 

 

Rachel pulled her niece into her lap. "I know, sweetie. I do too. I miss them so much.." She said as her own tears came.

 

 

Jayde buried her face in Rachel's neck.

 

 

"It's okay to cry, Jayde." Rachel said quietly.

 

 

"Daddy s-said to be strong.."

 

 

"You are strong. But even the strongest people cry."

 

 

Jayde whimpered lightly. "I-I know.."

 

 

Rachel kissed the top of her hair. "We'll get through this. I promise.

 

 

"Why won't they come back?.."

 

 

"It doesn't work that way. I wish it did. They deserve to be here." Rachel said softly. "But now, you have to keep on living and remember all the things they taught you."

 

 

"I don't want to remember..I want them to be here..D-Daddy Kurt was gonna show me how to play the piano.."

 

 

"I know it's not the same, but I can help you." Rachel said.

 

 

Jayde just cried as she held her aunt. Rachel closed her eyes, wondering how they would get through this pain.

 

 

"When will I get to see them?..B-Before they bury them."

 

 

"At the wake."

 

 

"When?.."

 

 

"Day after tomorrow. All their family and friends will be there to say bye. It might be too scary to see them, Jayde."

 

 

"I-I want to say goodbye.."

 

 

"Okay, sweetie."

 

 

Jayde whimpered, closing her eyes. Rachel sighed as she held the little girl close.

 

 

"I-I..Can you read me the letters?.."

 

 

Rachel nodded, grabbing Blaine's first.

"Hey baby girl,

I'm writing this just in case anything were to happen to me. I want you to know that none of this is your fault. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Your Daddy Kurt was an amazing person. He was just sick and couldn't stop it. He loved you very much. As do I. You are the most amazing thing that had ever happened to us. You're our angel. And I need you to promise me that you'll stay strong. I know it's hard, baby. But help take care of Aunt Rachel and your cousin Barbara. Teach her what we've taught you. I hate that I'm not there to watch you grow up. But always know, I'm watching you from heaven. I'll always be in your heart. Never forget that, Jayde. I'm so sorry things had to be this way. But I know you can get through this. I wish I could be there for you when you start middle school and high school. Times can get really tough. But never give up. It only makes you stronger. You are the most beautiful girl and you're my princess. You can be anything you want. Aunt Rachel will be there to help you get where you need to go. Wherever that is, I know I'll be proud of you. Stay strong, sweetie and know none of this was your fault.

I love and miss you.

Daddy Blaine."

 

 

Jayde wiped her eyes, her tiny shoulders trembling. Rachel rubbed her back softly, opening Kurt's.

"My beautiful Jayde,

I hope you understand why I had to leave you. I had dissociative identity disorder. Your father and I never really explained this to you, but it is a disease that has tortured my mind for years. With how my condition is progressing, I'm worried that you or your father could get hurt by my alternative personality, Claude. I always want you and your father to be safe. So I hope you understand why I had to leave. You are an amazing little girl and I have no doubt in my mind that you will grow up to be an amazing woman. I wish I could be there to watch you bloom, but this is for the good of everyone. Your Daddy Blaine will take care of you, and if he can't, then know your Aunt Rachel and Uncle Finn love you just as much as we do. I'll always be with you. Just know I'm free now and I miss you so much.

Love,

Daddy Kurt."

 

 

Rachel couldn't keep her hands from shaking as she finished reading. Jayde closed her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks.

 

 

"Do you have any questions?" Rachel asked.

 

 

Jayde shook her head. "C-Can I be alone?.."

 

 

Rachel nodded. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

 

Jayde nodded back, laying down in her bed.

 

 

Finn was downstairs, reading over his letter from Kurt again, tears in his eyes.

 

 

"Hey.." Rachel said sadly. She still hadn't read hers.

 

 

Finn sniffed, quickly wiping his eyes as he folded the letter. "Hey.."

 

 

"Are you okay?" She asked as she sat in his lap.

 

 

Finn wrapped his arms around his wife's waist. "Yeah..How's Jayde?.."

 

 

Rachel shook her head. "She wanted to read the letters."

 

 

Finn looked down. "What'd they say?.."

 

 

"How amazing she is and to be strong. They didn't want this to happen but for her to remember that we love her just as much as they did." Rachel said as more tears came. "K-Kurt explained why it happened. I-I don't know i-if I can do this, Finn.."

 

 

"If you can do what?.." Finn whispered.

 

 

"Everything.. Not without them.."

 

 

"Yes you can..we're strong..We have to be..For Jayde..For them.." Finn said seriously.

 

 

"What if I'm not good enough? I'm not them.. And we have a baby."

 

 

"What do you think Kurt would say if he could hear you right now?" Finn asked.

 

 

"That I'm Rachel Berry Hudson and I can do anything..." Rachel sighed.

 

 

"Exactly.." Finn smiled up at his wife.

 

 

"I just miss them.. How's your mom?.."

 

 

"She's trying to get through it.." Finn said softly.

 

 

"Is there anything we can do to help her?"

 

 

We could bring Jayde and Barbara over.." Finn said, rubbing up and down Rachel's back.

 

 

Rachel nodded. "I think she'd like that."

 

 

"Me too.."

 

 

"Will you get Jayde? I'll get Barbara's diaper bag ready."

 

 

Finn nodded, kissing Rachel before walking to Jayde's room.

 

 

The funeral came too quickly. None of the family felt ready. Especially not Jayde. She hadn't said a word all day. She wore her red dress despite the occasion. The dress Kurt would coo over and say "You know, that's daddy's favorite dress.." she smoothed it down as they walked into the funeral home. A red dot in a sea of black. She didn't like black. It was so sad.. She knew her daddies wouldn't want everyone to be sad.

 

 

Rachel saw her mother-in-law crying by the open casket. "Oh, Carole.."

 

 

Jayde squeezed Finn's hand as Rachel hurried over to Carole. Her breathing sped up. There they were. Two boxes side by side. "Daddy?.." She whispered.

 

 

Finn knelt down. "Are you sure you want to see?"

 

 

Jayde looked up at Finn. "I-I think so.."

 

 

"If it's too hard or too sad, you don't have to." Finn said softly.

 

 

"I want to.."

 

 

Finn picked his niece up. "We can't touch them though."

 

 

"Why?...I want to hug them.."

 

 

"Because.. They're not.. alive anymore.."

 

 

Jayde's bottom lip quivered as she looked down. Daddy told her to be strong..She couldn't cry.. Finn took a deep breath as he walked over to the caskets. Jayde looked over and gasped softly. They just looked like they were sleeping. She reached out, touching Kurt's face and a shock flew through her body as she pulled back. His skin was cold and stiff. She screamed, burying her face in Finn's chest. "Daddy stop it!"

 

 

"What happened?" Finn asked, stepping back.

 

 

Jayde panted harshly as she turned to face her fathers' bodies. "Wake up!!"

 

 

Everyone watched as Jayde panicked. Finn rushed out of the room with his niece and sat down on a bench. "They won't wake up, Jayde."

 

 

Jayde was beginning to hyperventilate. "D-D-Daddy!"

 

 

Finn held his niece close as he tried to calm her down.

 

 

Jayde reached up, pulling on her curls. "I want my daddies!"

 

 

Finn's eyebrows knitted together as he recognized the motion. He walked back and called for his wife.

 

 

Rachel hurried over. "What is it?

 

 

Finn spoke as quiet as he could as Jayde yelled and cried. She's doing that hair pulling thing Kurt did.."

 

 

"She saw him do it when he was upset..She thinks it'll help.." She said, picking Jayde up. "Don't pull your hair.."

She said gently.

 

 

Finn gave a sigh of relief. He hadn't thought of that.

 

 

Jayde slowly opened her fingers. "O-okay.."

 

 

"Are you ready to go back over there? You don't have to look." Rachel said.

 

 

Jayde nodded slowly. Rachel kissed her cheek before walking back. Jayde sat in the back, hugging her unicorn she brought. Finn and Rachel took care of th funeral, making sure to check on Jayde every so often.

 

 

Jayde whimpered quietly when she was alone in the building. "Daddy.." She whispered. The little girl looked up and saw her parents standing at the end of the aisle, smiling. She gasped. "Daddies!" She cried happily, quickly running to them before she blinked and they disappeared. What was going on? She just saw them.

 

 

"Daddies?..Daddies!" She called but no one answered. She was starting to get scared.. "Aunt Rachel!?"

 

 

A couple minutes later, Rachel walked around the corner. "Oh god. There you are!"

 

 

"I saw my daddies!" She said happily, running to her. "They're okay!"

 

 

"What? What're you talking about?" Rachel asked.

 

 

"I saw them! They were standing right there, smiling!" She grinned, pointing.

 

 

"Jayde, they aren't here."

 

 

Her smile slowly faded. "But..I saw them.."

 

 

"It was just your imagination, sweetie. You've been through so much."

 

 

Jayde looked down before she looked back where her parents stood.

 

 

"Come on. Lets get you home." Rachel sighed.

 

 

"Okay.."

 

 

Rachel took her niece's hand as they walked down the hall to where everyone was leaving. Jayde slowly looked up and saw Blaine again, standing in the crowd.

"He's right there!" She said excitedly as she pointed.

 

 

Rachel looked over, "Jayde..There's no one there."

 

 

"But I see him!"

 

 

"Jayde.." Rachel sighed, pulling her away. "Come on.."

 

 

"No!" She cried, starting to pull her aunt in the other direction.

 

 

"Jayde, look! He's gone!" Rachel said, tears gathering in her eyes.

 

 

Jayde looked around as panic filled her chest. "I saw him.."

 

 

Rachel bent down, picking her up and hurrying to the car. A new wave of tears flooded Jayde's eyes. Finn was putting Barbara in her carseat when Rachel walked up.

"We need to get home."

 

 

"Okay..What's wrong?.." Finn asked softly.

 

 

"She thinks she sees Kurt and Blaine." Rachel said quietly.

 

 

"I did!" Jayde protested.

 

 

"Jayde, it's not possible."

 

 

"Yes I did!" She said seriously. "They were standing at the front and they smiled at me! They were happy! I want to go to them!" She yelled.

 

 

"Jayde." Finn said in a warning tone, afraid she would make Barbara cry.

 

 

"No! Take me home!"

 

 

"We are going home." Rachel said as she climbed into the front seat.

 

 

"Take me home to my daddies!!" She screamed. Rachel brought her hands up to massage her temples as her daughter started to cry. "Take me home!" Jayde yelled.

 

 

"Jayde!" Finn snapped. "You're going home with us. Stop it."

 

 

Jayde bit her lip, looking down and sniffing lightly.

 

 

Finn hated yelling at her. He just needed her to calm down and stop disrespecting them. Barbara slowly calmed down and Jayde just squeezed her unicorn. They drove home in silence. Jayde quickly climbed out of the car, squeezing her unicorn tighter. When Rachel opened the door, Jayde ran up to her room.

 

 

Finn looked to Rachel. "What do we do?.."

 

 

"I don't know.."

 

 

Jayde jumped onto her bed, burying her face in the pillow. She knew her daddies were okay, she just knew it.

 

 

Finn gave her a little while to calm down before walking upstairs and knocking on his niece's door.

 

 

"Go away!"

 

 

"Jayde, please let me come in." Finn said softy. Jayde just cuddled under her blanket, sniffing. Finn slowly opened the door. "I'm sorry, Jayde."

 

 

"I know my daddies are okay."

 

 

"It's not possible, sweetie. You saw them.. In the caskets.."

 

 

Jayde whimpered. "I saw them.."

 

 

Finn sighed. "Where?"

 

 

"They were standing up front by their pictures..And then I ran to them and they went away. Then I saw Daddy Blaine when we were leaving."

 

 

"Jayde, I think you wanted to see them so badly that you imagined them."

 

 

"They were real!" She said, sitting up.

 

 

"I know it may seem like it. But it wasn't real."

 

 

Jayde just looked away, "It was real to me.."

 

 

Finn saw the expression in her eyes and sat down. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to. You know, I've never really been a father before a couple of weeks ago. This is new to me too. I didn't mean to upset you."

 

 

Jayde automatically pressed herself to Finn's chest and sniffed. "I just want my daddies back.."

 

 

"I know. I do too."

 

 

Jayde closed her eyes, letting Finn hold her. Finn's mind raced. He understood why Rachel dismissed Jayde pulling her hair. But he wasn't ready to rule that out yet.

 

 

Later that night, Jayde laid in her bed, crying softly.

"Don't cry, angel.." Kurt said softly.

 

 

Jayde gasped, quickly looking up in the direction of the voice. Kurt stood there, smiling lightly at his daughter.

 

 

"W-What's happening? I want to be with you."

 

 

"You can't.." Kurt said softly. He looked ao different. So happy. He walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. "But your Daddy and I will always be with you.."

 

 

"Why can't Aunt Rachel see you?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"Only you can see us..I went through the same thing..But you have to try and move on.."

 

 

"But I don't want you to leave me."

 

 

"I don't want you to go through this.."

 

 

"But it's just you and Daddy. I need you."

 

 

"Jayde..If you don't try to fight this..You'll be sad and sick..Just like I was.." Kurt whispered, touching her hand. She felt nothing.

 

 

"But how can I be sad if you're here?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"Because..You just have to trust me, babygirl.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"What will happen if I can't fight it?"

 

 

"I don't know.." Kurt said quietly.

 

 

"How do I stop it?" Jayde asked, hoping Kurt would still stay.

 

 

"Ignore anything you see that shouldn't be there..Especially Daddy Blaine and I.."

 

 

Jayde's bottom lip quivered. "But you're my daddy.."

 

 

"I'm not alive anymore, love..I'm in your mind and heart.."

 

 

"H-How?"

 

 

"You miss us too much, sweetie.." Kurt said quietly.

 

 

"I don't want you to leave."

 

 

"I know.." Kurt said, looking down at her with tears in his eyes.

 

 

"I-I miss you and Daddy Blaine. I need you."

 

 

"No you don't..You think you need us.."

 

 

"Yes I do."

 

 

"Listen to him Jayde.." Blaine said softly, standing behind her bed.

 

 

Jayde gasped as she turned to see him. "B-But.."

 

 

"We know what's best.."

 

 

"Daddy.." Jayde said weakly as she crawled over the bed to get to Blaine.

 

 

Blaine sighed softly. "You can't touch us Jayde..We're not real.."

 

 

"Stop saying that.."

 

 

"It's true.." Blaine said holding out his hand. Jayde tried but whimpered when she felt nothing.

 

 

"We're basically your...imaginary friends.." Kurt tried to explain. "But we shouldn't be.."

 

 

"But you're good.. N-Not like that man.."

 

 

Kurt smiled. "I know baby..I had a good person in me too..She was my mommy.."

 

 

"Why is it bad?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"Because..I want you to grow up to be happy and healthy Jayde.." Kurt whispered.

 

 

"So.. You want me to ignore you?.."

 

 

Kurt looked down and Blaine walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes.."

 

 

"What if you talk to me? Or if I need to talk to you?"

 

 

"We'll try not to..And you have your aunt and uncle.." Blaine said.

 

 

"B-But if you really need to talk to us..Go to our graves..Then we can..O-only emergencies.." Kurt said, earning a look from his husband.

 

 

"But talk to our graves. If you see us, don't talk to us. Talk to the graves. We'll be listening." Blaine added. Kurt looked down, sighing sadly.

 

 

"O-Okay.." Jayde said softly.

 

 

"We have to go now." Blaine said, leaning down to kiss her forehead, though she couldn't feel it. "I love you, baby girl."

 

 

Kurt did the same. "I love you so much, Jayde. Remember, you'll always be our princess.." He said, trying not to cry.

 

 

"I love you too daddies...Please don't go..Just stay tonight.."

 

 

"We can't, baby." Kurt sniffed. "This isn't good for you."

 

 

"Just once.." She pleaded. Blaine gave his husband a weary look.

 

 

"Just tonight.." Kurt whispered to Blaine.

 

 

"Jayde, you have to promise us that you will ignore us after tonight." Blaine said seriously.

 

 

"I promise!" She smiled.

 

 

"Alright." Blaine sighed. He couldn't help but give a small smile as Jayde snuggled back into bed with a parent on each side.

 

 

Even though Jayde couldn't feel them, she could imagine the warmth she used to feel. She sighed happily, closing her eyes. "G'night daddies.." Jayde yawned.

 

 

"Goodnight." They older men said together.

 

 

A pair of shoes clicked along the linoleum tile of the hospital as a woman, holding the hand of an eleven-year-old made her way to the front desk.

"Jayde Anderson.." Rachel said softly. She hadn't come to see the eighteen year old girl in a few days, but she hoped she would understand.

Jayde sait in the rec room, her head resting on Blaine's shoulder. "I wish I could stay where you did Dad..It sounds nice.." She said to Kurt.

 

 

"It is. But I like this place." Kurt said.

 

 

"Me too." She smiled as Rachel walked into the room. Jayde sat up, smiling. "Hi Aunt Rachel..Hi Barbara."

 

 

"Hey.." Barbara said, looking at the floor.

 

 

"Hey sweetie. Sorry I haven't been here in a few days." Rachel said softly.

 

 

"Oh its okay..Dad thought you wouldn't come today.." She said, looking over at the empty space beside her and smiling.

 

 

"Well, we're here." Rachel said.

 

 

"How was school, Barbara?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"Boring. I'm ahead of everyone." The young girl sighed.

 

 

"I knew she'd be smart.." Blaine grinned.

 

 

"Just like Rachel." Kurt agreed. "Beautiful too."

 

 

Jayde giggled. "Well, look who your mom is.."

 

 

"Why can't you come home?" Barbara asked. "When can you?"

 

 

"Umm..I don't know.." She said softly, chewing on her bottom lip and looking to Rachel.

 

 

"It's complicated, sweetie." Rachel told her daughter.

 

 

"How?..I miss having her home.." Barbara said.

 

 

"We'll talk about it later."

 

 

Jayde sighed softly. "You wanna go walk?.." She asked Barbara.

 

 

"Yes." Barbara nodded. Jayde smiled, standing and grabbing her hand.

 

"I'll grab some stuff from the cafeteria for when you get back," Rachel said.

 

 

Jayde nodded, walking to the small park like area outside.

"How's Uncle Finn?" Jayde asked.

 

 

"He's good. Misses you.."

 

 

"I miss him too. And Grandma."

 

 

"Then why can't you come home?..You never hurt anyone.. You just..Talk to yourself.."

 

 

"I don't know." Jayde sighed. "I still see my dads all the time. I guess they're worried it'll get worse."

 

 

"But that's not bad..Everyone has imaginary friends."

 

 

"They're supposed to go away when you get older."

 

 

"Everyone's different." Kurt smiled, squeezing Blaine's hand.

 

 

"I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy." Jayde said quietly.

 

 

"No one's crazy..People just deal with things in different ways..When others find it too different they call it bad things." Barbara said softly.

 

 

"Thanks, Barbie."

 

 

"No problem. So..What were..are your dad's like?.."

 

 

"Happy. They're perfect. I wish you could get to know them. They love when you come."

 

 

"Really?" Barbara grinned. "Well..Mom's shown me pictures. They looked happy."

 

 

"I miss being home with them."

 

 

"You remember..?"

 

 

Jayde nodded. "I remember a lot."

 

 

Blaine couldn't help but grin as he and Kurt walked ahead of them.

 

 

"What have you been up to?" Jayde asked her cousin.

 

 

"Not much..Just school, dance, piano, acting, vocal lessons, ballet. The usual."

 

 

Jayde gave a small chuckle. "Not much at all."

 

 

Barbara giggled lightly, pulling Jayde into a hug.

 

 

Jayde sighed. "I miss you."

 

 

"I miss you too.." Barbara smiled.

 

 

Jayde gave a small smile as she pulled back. Kurt and Blaine stood on either side of their daughter and Jayde sighed happily. Despite everything..Losing her parents and finding them again within herself..She truly was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following us and this story. We couldn't have done it without all of our readers. Hope you liked the ending. I know it's sad but it's what we envisioned. Let us know what you think :)


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